Friday, February 22, 2008

Fecal mad ear

Canberra, Australia: Area blogger Harrangueman today attempted light flirting with hottie receptionist at doctors with somewhat disastrous results.

'I'd had a polyp removed from my ear, which was swimming in a vial of solution and left on the counter when I went to pay the bill. This lead to idle chatting about medical stuff in general. Finally I told her about how when I was a kid on work experience I spent a day in a pathology lab where 'we did tests on shits.'


This discussion of testing 'on shits' noticeably cooled the conversation.

'A definite tumbleweed moment,' confessed HM.

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On my way back from the Doctors I was listening the ABC news radio. They played a snatch of Madness' Our House, a seminal 80's classic. Why? By way of intro to a story on rapidly increasing rents as the market crunch hits - increases which one interviewed victim described as "madness". What a clever intro. Nearly as clever as when discussing money in a story backing the action with the opening riff from the Pink Floyd's classic, which is also called Money.

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So the ear thing. As punters know I recently discovered I have a perforated ear, and likely have had it in that condition for around 18 months. Finally saw the specialist. He was somewhat horrified at the duration it had taken me to present myself. In my defence I just assumed my left ear was naturally waxy, not realising it was not just wax but a upsized combo of wax and pus. Turns out you can have a localised infection that is pus producing in your ear area for a long, long time, doing steady damage to the surrounding tissue and ear business.

This means I have to have a catscan - weeeeeee - to see if the bone near by has become infected. If it has it means an operation to scrape out the infection. If I do have a bone infection, and it's not done cleaned out soon enough, there is a chance the infection will spread to my brain.

So I got that going for me.

I also experienced an ear toilet - at least that's what the name of the procedure was. It was basically a suction pump threaded into my ear then turned on to drain the pus out. It was rather uncomfortable - not painful - just very loud and unpleasant as you could feel the pus coming out accompanied by a loud screaming gurgling noise. Think three year old having a tantrum inside a vacuum cleaner pressed to your head.

During the procedure that's when the polyp was removed. I really do have it in a vial and have to go lodge it with pathology for testing. I also have to have hearing tests.

Needless to say I am just thrilled by that.

UPDATE: Fuck...

2 comments:

  1. Oh geez... I hope you're ok. Don't go and die on us!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I got a bit scared I have to admit.

    I've had so much crappy health crap over the years but you know it's all bearable. But the brain, the brain is who you are. Hell, you can even survive having your body paralyzed except for a single blinking eye but you're still you inside.

    Unless your brain is fucked.

    I'm on super meds, it's unlikely, but I still freaked out.

    Thank god I have so much super sperm banked!

    ReplyDelete

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