Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Area gambling official embarrasses colleagues at lotto draw

Channel 9 Studios, Sydney; Area gambling official, Tony Vastarkis today embarrassed his two other officials assembled as a panel of three to oversee that night's draw by actually demanding to see and feel the balls to be put in play.

'Can you fucking believe it?!' said Christine Moon, fellow panelist to other fellow panelist Mark. 'He's actually trying to provide oversight.'

Vastarkis had bought scales with him and, using notes obtained from the manufacturer of lotto balls, weighed each ball to ensure they were not overweighted and therefore more likely to settle at the bottom and be picked up by the scoop.

'We're just supposed to look at the machine, nod, and maybe sign a piece of paper. Not handle each and every ball, holding up to the light like a chicken breeder checks eggs. We look like fucksticks.'

Vastarkis is also the sort of person who at the end of a hour long brief where everyone is itching to leave the meeting asks follow on questions in an effort to show his intelligence as opposed to actually elicit a genuine response of information sought.

The lotto draw was held up by 23 minutes as Vastarkis repeated the weigh to ensure accurate measurements before adding his authorisation to allow the ball picking to go ahead, annoying the spangly dress woman who has like six words to say while gleaming at punters with her enormous teeth above dress straining breasts and the elaborately coiffed fuckstick in a suit who reads out the numbers that appear and tries to come up with interesting facts like 'seven, a lucky number that' or 'thirteen, considered unlucky by some' or 'Forty seven, the number of fucking chromosomes I have.'

Area blogger Harrangueman also said he found lotto draws to be a complete waste of space time and that he will never get those moments back.

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