Thursday, May 31, 2007

Don't you hate it when...

... you hop in your Dr Evil wheelie chair and grip the arm rest as it shoots across the carpet to jam under the table. Fuck a duck that hurt. Would fucking a duck hurt? Well, I guess it would for the duck. Apparently female ducks can't get raped by male ducks. I heard that recently. Their business bits thread the other way or something and they close off if the invitation hasn't been given. True story.

Oh a PS on that from the article; "
Wa­ter­fowl are al­so dis­tinct in hav­ing great di­ver­si­ty among spe­cies in the length and or­na­men­ta­tion of the phal­lus."

Whose been going around to compare them?

Lewis Blacks Wiki

Check out his wiki. Read the quotes. I laughed so hard I was worried for my stomach lining.

"Back when I was a kid, you knew that milk was good... because there was only one type... Moo Cow Fuck Milk. But now, you've got two percent, one percent, skim, whole, low fat. Milk with acidophilus? What the fuck are you talking about? Milk doesn't need a friend. That shit belongs in the yogurt section. Lactose intolerant milk, kiss my dick. If you're lactose intolerant, you can't drink milk... Then what's in the fucking carton? GET IT AWAY FROM MY MILK! It is TALKING to my milk and making it feel BAD about itself!

Then go to you tube. Most of his HBO special is in there. Watch them. Laugh.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Lewis Black on Homeland Security

Lifestyle tips for the generously ampled 2

When adjusting yourself following underpants usage, such as going to the toilet, if you happen to catch part of your scrotum in the elastic, then don't adopt a squat stance to extend the elastic past the scrotal area. That way when the guy who sits over from you comes into the toilet as you squat doesn't assume you've issued a Sumo challenge.

Harrangueman, blogging advice for the energy reserved since 2007

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Celebrity Jeopardy Gold from SNL

Will Ferrell blooper goodness from SNL

Planet Vs Pocketbook

I heard Howard on News Radio this arvo blatantly not answering a question about his tax payer funded green jaunt across the media landscape ("Clever Climate Control?"). So much so an ALPer got kicked out when he stood up to point out to the clearly partisan speaker that Howard was clearly evading the carefully spelled out question.

Essentially Howard's response was this. 'How can the ALP possibly commit to 60% reductions without analysing the impact on the economy?!'

Howard does not get it. His people do not get it. The health of the planet is bigger than the fucking economy. If the planet gets sick the economy will get far, far sicker because of greater storm surges, displaced rainfall patterns, easily flooded river deltas, and so forth and so on. Sure, the Stern report may be eurocentric. And yes Oz is more resource dependant for its economy.

Boo hoo fucking hoo. We have half a decade to turn this tanker of a world energy use around. And Howard wants to pissfart around on the behest of various polluters in an effort to stay stuck on his superglued chair. Meanwhile the planet cooks.

Guess what fuckstick. The 60% is an extremely conservative number. Most are asking for 90%. And if we have to take a hit on our economy to retool our energy infrastructure in order to prevent far greater damage to the economy as a result of climate change then we fucking do it.

Damn Right

From today's Crikey, by Chris Graham, editor of The National Indigenous Times

The campaigners who got the referendum up, of course, deserve congratulations. Their efforts were massive. But the failings by white Australia that followed were also massive. If blackfellas want to celebrate the '67 referendum (and most don't), then that's their choice. But white Australians should be hanging their heads in shame.

Australians have never been serious about Indigenous equality -- if we were, then Aboriginal Australia wouldn't be in the parlous state it is today. Either that or white Australia is a hopeless race that can't achieve parity for just two percent of the population. It's one or the other - we can't have it both ways.

We can't pretend that the fact Aboriginal children born today have a life expectancy worse than a child from Bangladesh doesn't say something deeper about us as a nation.

From Grahams' post at yesterday's Crikey

... the 'average Aborigine' as depicted here correlates almost exactly with what those familiar with indigenous affairs would expect to see:

  • Indigenous Australians make up a little under 2.5 per cent of the national population.
  • Our 'average Aboriginal' is 20 years old, which was the median age for the entire Indigenous population in 2001, versus 36 for the non-Indigenous population.
  • He more than likely lives in a family of 3.5 people, compared to a white family which averages about 2.6 people.
  • An Aboriginal male born today has a life expectancy of about 59 years. But our 'average Aboriginal' is already 20 years of age, so his life expectancy at birth was much less, probably around 54 years. So in seven years time - at age 27 - he will have already lived half his life.
  • Nationally, the average indigenous Australian is about 15 times more likely to go to prison than a non-indigenous Australian.
  • On the day our Aboriginal turns 25, about six per cent of his countrymen will be in prison.
  • In some areas of the country, as many as one in three Aboriginal males will go to prison at some stage in their life. So while our average Aboriginal may not, on average someone from his family is likely.
  • He more than likely lives in a metropolitan or urban area - only about 25 percent of the indigenous population live in remote or very remote regions of Australia. Which is lucky for him - if he'd been born in a remote region, his life expectancy would have been under 50 years of age.
  • Superannuation is obviously of little relevance to him - he will likely die long before he claim it.
  • And he's unlikely to have any superannuation anyway. While the official unemployment statistics claim only about 20 per cent of indigenous Australians are unemployed, the real figure is much higher (probably around 50 per cent). More than 30,000 indigenous people are on the black work-for-the dole program (CDEP), yet still classified as employed.
  • His average weekly household income (according to 2001 figures) was $364, compared to $585 for white households. Were he to live in a very remote area, his average weekly household income would have been $267.
  • His father, on average, is probably already dead, with 45 percent of Aboriginal men dying before the age of 45.
  • Our average Aboriginal's sister - if she marries - is 25 times more likely to suffer domestic violence than a non-Indigenous woman.
  • On the education front, our average Aborigine is highly unlikely to have finished a Year 12 education - only about 38 percent of indigenous students do, compared to 76 percent of non-indigenous students. On the balance of probabilities, he probably dropped out during Year 11 or Year 10.
  • Ironically, the longer he stayed at school, the worse his achievements (set against white students). In Year 3, he was more than likely to meet the national literacy benchmark. But by Year 7, he was already on average failing to meet the national numeracy benchmark.
  • University is a pipe dream for him. In 2001, for example, less than 2 per cent of the indigenous population attended university, which was less than half of the proportion of the total Australian population that attended university.
  • He's unlikely to ever own a home - only about one third of indigenous Australians achieve home ownership, compared to three-quarters of the white population.
  • As for his health, our average Aboriginal's outlook is horrendous. Life expectancy gap aside, he is almost certainly a smoker (49 percent of indigenous Australians are, compared to 22 percent of non-indigenous Australians).
  • He's almost three times more likely to develop heart disease. And if he does present at a hospital, he's 40 per cent less likely to receive diagnostic procedures than his non-indigenous counterparts. And believe it nor not, if he is admitted to hospital for his coronary problems, he's 2.3 times more likely to die than if he stays at home (where he's 1.4 times more likely to die).
  • With the four worst rate of type diabetes on the planet, our average Aboriginal is 10 times more likely to have type 2 diabetes than a white Australian, and seven times more likely to be hospitalised because of it.
  • If he marries and his wife attempts to have children, she's five times more likely to die at childbirth.
  • Because he's over 15 years of age, he's more likely to be obese or overweight - 61 percent more likely, compared to non-indigenous Australians (48 percent).
  • It all adds up to our average Aboriginal being about five times more likely to commit suicide than a white Australian, with 108 indigenous male suicides per 100,000 population, compared to 21 for white Australians.

Nosh

The number of 'dishes' I know how to cook can be counted pretty much on one hand. Nosh is one of them. It's not so much a dish but an adaptation of a basic meal.

Here it is.

Take normal spaghetti bolognaise. Take the spaghetti. Cook as normal. Drain the spag then dump the bol and the spag in the one pot on a low simmer. Add a couple of handfuls of grated cheese, a few splashes of milk and/or cream, and a powerful squirt of tomato sauce. Stir it through. Let it simmer until soft bubbles happen.

Serve. Eat.

It's delish!

Fantale malarky

This morning I was late for day two of the course. I happened to notice that the girl next to me and the guy up from her each had 6-7 fantales. I am sure they weren't there yesterday. This means they were handed out before I got there and excised from the communal bowl. There were none for me.

Was this a pre-emptive strike against me, the fantale mooching wrapper hider?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Pringles stealing nosh thief

Monday, May 28, 2007

More Simpsons Goodness











"Disparaging the boot is a bootable offence!"

To Hell and Back

One man's battle against an auger - see it here

Bravery in Blogging 2

Well that was odd. I sent out the BiB into the wide blue internet and it boomaranged back to me.

I really am not that brave. Being largely anonymous, due to work rules on media commentating*, means I can afford to be more revealing in my e-nakedness as far as that goes. I recognise that.

Anyway I have to nom someone to get it. Well I am nomming two people. I nom Sarah/Gam because they talk frankly about their relationship, their sex lives, their family, their work/home stuff and do so fearlessly. And I nom Grods because like me Grods too has faced the odd threat or two.

They are free to pass it on to whoever they feel deserves it, though some circumspection as to that person's overall blogging behaviour should obviously be applied.

* And upon reading Boltwatch noted that some had said it was worth staying anonymous if you commented there given Bolt's tendency to call up workplaces and complain - or even physically barge in hysterically ranting like he did to Stephen Mayne of Crikey at the ABC studios.

I have a show desktop button?!

Why is it I never noticed that until now. That's handy. What's the shortcut key command for that? Ooooo Win-D.

Huh!

Never knew that.

Lifestyle tips for the generously ampled

When on a course where lollies are proffered, when taking them make sure to pocket the wrappers. That way when you eat the dozen fantails from the bowl leaving only the hated minties, the mound of evidence is not laid out in front of you.

This LTFTGA was bought to you by Harrangueman, blogging fatty advice since 2007

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Good one (large shopping centre)

Whilst at (a large shopping centre) today the engraving place caught fire. Well something in it did. Big roiling clouds of chemical laced smoke boiled around me as I was reading the paper nearby. I looked up to see the cloud waft up passed the escalators. A horrible acrid stink filled the area causing my throat to rasp and people to cough.

So what did they do?

Some dude with a radio watched on warily with a fire extinguisher at the ready (near his feet) in case something else happened. Did they clear the area or the shops near by that were affected by the smell in case someone with breathing difficulties entered the area?

No they did not. As I left 10 minutes later (having gone into the supermarket near by to be near thewife if we had to leg it) the firies were there investigating while some portly goatee clad staffer frantically scrubbed a smoke stain off the up escalator's sides.

Good one (large shopping centre). Way to protect customer safety.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

An MM blast from the past

Years ago some friends and I went to a dog show to laugh at dog show people. I was then a poor arts student and I frequently went bare foot. Hundreds of dogs, hundreds of poos. Poos everywhere. Indeed you could see dotted across the landscape owners dutifully pooper scooping up after pampered pests. Fortunately the grass was well clipped so I easily side stepped the unpleasantness.

After the dog show we went to a corner store across town for a milkshake. As I stepped out of the car I stood on a dog shit.

Honestly, what are the odds?

(Hi Jen!)

Friday, May 25, 2007

Secular Day!





National Day of Secularism May the 26th


Now I thought long and hard about this since I have wonderful friends who happen to hold their faith dear to them. Then I realised what it actually meant was, I believe, keeping govt and religion separate. People hold their faiths doggedly, haphazardly, barely, strongly etc. But the thing is many people believe many different things. And in a rapidly blended world - despite the best efforts of fucktards to try and salvage their anglo-culture or whatever specific culture they have complete with originating faith - having religion involved in government is not only morally wrong, it's just plain stupid since it leads to division not inclusion.

So in that spirit I say no to governments that openly promote one faith over another, be it for historical reasons like here in Oz, or for active day to day reasons like various Islamic theocracies overseas or people who want such (like in Indon).

But to my spiritually minded and religious focussed friends I respect the fact you have faith and I admire muchly the spirit and comfort it gives you. And I think said friends know that forcing their faith on others through government does their faith a disservice anyway.

Aw crap I am posting this after midnight. Sorry. Meant for yday. Oh no, it's tomorrow not today. Since this saved yesterday not today. Today being the 26th. Brain hurts.

Needed wings...

Thanks Miss P.

Actually he looks a bit like Thomas Hayden Church now...

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hanson is coming back

She's like a fucking Timex. She just keeps on ticking.

Yes former erstwhile mother of the nation, who slept each night in a flag so it could be her funeral shroud when murdered, has announced the formation of the 'Pauline's United Australia party' to contest the next election. I wonder if this one too has its constitution adapted from that of a local tennis club?

Let's see the article here.

Hooray! (throws hats into air).

Unfortunately for Pauline the Libs stole and used and won elections with her policies such as temporary protection visas for refugees no matter their circumstances, end to ATSIC, and a whole host of other bullshit. Hell I think citizenship tests were her idea.

She's apparently gone the "party" route so she can go above the line on Senate ticket because only political geeky mofos like me bother to vote below the line. Here's one of her many wonderful policy approaches as per the article.

"Mr Howard has sold us out by not halting further Muslim immigration and dumping hapless refugees from Africa on us without any consultation. Australia must withdraw ASAP from the 1951 UN Convention on refugees."

Ahh Pauline. You are truly great. Keep on battling my little battler.

Pauline by the way stood as an independent for the Senate last time and received $199,866 from the tax payer. Her "expenses" were apparently less than 36k
(see footnote 31).

Gee. I wonder why she is running?

Forgot the bag

Thanks for the heads up Sar...

Hat of the Week: The Fez

Modelled by thewife's friend K., the Fez formed the sole 'me' thing I wanted to do for my wedding some years back. As in I said 'I want to X' and got to without complaint.

In thewife's defence my original want of wanting to be married by an Elvis impersonator while I was wearing a powder blue safari suit (like my dad owned) was a bit out there (and at the time impossible as there were no Elvis impersonator celebrants available in Oz; this has now been rectified).


The Fez was purchased from an Egyptian knick-knackery that lived in the Canberra Centre. Before I bought this Fez I had bought one for my Dad for Christmas. I saw it there, erred and ummed about getting it when the girl said 'It's the last one. Dad only goes back home once a year to restock.', I got it.

I happened to pass the shop about a minute later only to see her put a new Fez on display. Gold.

Anyway, I got to wear my Fez for the wedding and I looked like a nob. But hey, it was a kewl day and a good time was had by all.

The Andrew Bolt Collage

What the fuck's is going on at the Herald Sun Bolt Blog where they have to have Bolt's fucking picture next to every single piece? Is he that fucking vain that he has to have his head there, there, there, here, there, there, there, here?

And check out his photo in army clobber. Hooray for GI Bolt. He's saving us from terrowists. Hur hur hur hur.

Anyway see his Boltified site here.

A big deal about nothing

The Libs are so desperate to take down Rudd they will go for his wife.

Witness today their glee when they discovered, via the Herald Sun, that a company Rudd's wife recently bought had underpaid workers in error.

HA! They screamed. Got you! Rudd's wife is an evil underpaying contract violating harpy.

And here is Rudd's response.

Federal Labor leader, Kevin Rudd, says his wife was told that a company she bought last year was paying all its staff properly.

News Limited newspapers have reported today that a company owned by Mr Rudd's wife Therese Rein had stripped some workers on common law contracts of penalty rates, overtime and allowances in return for an extra 45 cents an hour.

Mr Rudd says his wife bought the company, WorkDirections Australia, last year and it later emerged that 58 staff members had been underpaid by a total of $70,000.

He says the underpayment problem was discovered because of his wife's efforts to check.

"This was obviously an honest mistake and she sought to rectify this as soon as she had [information] available to her," Mr Rudd said.

So it was a mistake, she found it, she fixed it. All before the Herald Sun report. Months ago in fact. Why the fuck didn't they seek her comment before they ran the story? That's basic fucking journalism.

Oh - right. Because then it would be a non story.

Herald Sun fuckers.

Reverse P0rn

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

So it was never meant to strip out penalty rates without compensation eh?

This is the new line spun by the Libs. That Work Choices was always meant to ensure the battlers had pay rises comensurate with losing their penalty rates if on an AWA.

Remember the Spotlight AWA? An employee presented with an AWA - which she did not sign - that offered a 0.02 an hour pay rise in return for losing her penalty rates - making her about $90 a week worse off.

Here's a snapshot from Hansard on 1 June last year where Howard mentions this 'make sure AWAs don't strip out penalty rates without adequate compensation.'

Mr PRICE (2.45 p.m.)—My question is to the Prime Minister. I refer to the 40 employees in Mount Druitt on the 2c an hour Spotlight Australian workplace agreement. Prime Minister, isn’t it the case that Spotlight has 86 other stores across the nation, employing nearly 6,000 staff? Won’t Spotlight’s 2c an hour AWA wages race to the bottom just spread like wildfire from Mount Druitt across the nation?

Answer

Mr HOWARD—The answer to the question is no. I also point out to the Chief Opposition Whip that it is of course consistent with the tactics being used by the opposition in this matter to describe their employment conditions as being ‘2c an hour’. The reality is that 38 of the new staff employed at Mount Druitt were previously unemployed. While they were on the unemployment benefit, they received $205.30 a week. Under the AWA, these employees would receive $543.40 a week. So what I would call these AWAs are contracts of employment that provide remuneration increases of $338 a week for each of those employees.


Oh that's right. It didn't happen. Everytime the ALP bought it up the Libs just wanked on with 'it's good for the unemployed ergo better for all!'

I also love the inference that the battlers at Spotlight would never have been able to open the store were it not for this fucked in the arse AWAs.

Dickheads.

Abbott - any chance to get his fvcking shirt off


























He's on Lateline spruiking his awesome government. How it's done this, done that, workchoices a big part (forgot to read the memo on sans work choices) etc etc. Great economic managers. It's just the polls don't reflect it.

Again Tonester, here it is. The people have woken up to the fact you and your ilk are a bunch of unfeeling kick the worker/poor/refugees etc chunts that deserve the heave ho.

Good riddance.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA It will change the economy if Labor get in WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

And so forth.

Here's stuff that will change. Less fucking on unfortunate people. Perhaps less deporting citizens or locking up mental people, locking up people without charge or bringing in extreme laws to fuck people in the pay packet and devolve the workplace relationship to 'my way or the highway'.

You did that. Now you're paying the price.

Oh - and why the fuck does Abbott get to wank on about party politics in the SMH when he's the health minister? He should talk his portfolio or fuck off.

More Red Rooster Goodness

The other day thewife and I went through drive-thru. She ordered a classic roast meal. I felt tired and sick so I didn't get anything. We went home and I went to bed to try and sleep it off. I woke an hour later feeling a lot better. And decided I too wanted Red Rooster.

But I didn't want to seem like a desparate fatty by hoobing through drive thru for a second meal, Hobbit style, of chicken (in case he thought both were for me).

So I changed my shirt and wore a different hat.

Yep, I am that pathetic.

He didn't saying anything.

Ancient History

The libs are big on declaring everything “Ancient History”.

Such as Howard today in regards to leadership issues last year.

"Forget about last year; it's irrelevant, I don't think about it and I suggest you don't think about it because it's entirely irrelevant, it's ancient history."

Not to mention Nelson on the Abu Grahib scandal and who knew what when

"Going over ancient history I don't think is going to do anything to help the Iraqis and stabilise the region."

You see. Because that’s over. It’s the past! Nothing to see here, move along. Dusty monuments to long lost kings have no impact on today's vibrant future.

The Libs have been in power for 13 years. In the coming election stay tuned for their massively distorted recount of Labor’s time in power – ‘High Interest Rates [which were comparable to the rest of the world at the time]’ and ‘Labor Debt of 96 Billion Paid Off [The Libs have accrued 60 billion in unfunded super]’ and so on and so on.

Ancient History. Depends on what it is exactly that’s ancient doesn’t it?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Henderson wanking on about Hicks as usual

Henderson can't let it go. He's still going on about it. Why? Because people still think Hicks got a raw deal and that on balance he pled guilty because pragmatically that was the best option to get out. Which is why Hicks is shutting his yap and wants to get on and do his time.

Good on him.

He still doesn't change the fact he got a raw deal. And while he admitted he trained with AQ, as indeed to tens of thousands of other would be militants, at the time he did it - not a crime. No mention of that by Henderson. Why? Because it goes against his righty views. He simply says this;

"Irrespective of what the lobby maintains, there is abundant evidence Hicks did give material support to terrorism, the charge which he eventually pleaded guilty to under the US military commission system. Certainly he was held for too long without trial. However, the length of his incarceration was not the sole responsibility of US authorities."

Not the sole responsibility eh? Why is that? Oh - because people challenged the system they were being held under. Guess what. It was found unconstitutional. Again no mention by Henderson of that.

And hardly anyone applauded what Hicks of Jihad mentality stood for. Indeed almost everyone of note who said Hicks got a raw deal said 'he may be a son of a bitch, but he's our son of a bitch*' and that he deserved due process and a fair roll of the dice. He didn't get that. He hasn't got that.

As for this bullshit

Hicks's apparent position is unlikely to prevent many members of the civil liberties lobby from arguing his case. The most recent entrant in the debate is Kristine Klugman, the president of Civil Liberties Australia. Interviewed on Channel Ten's Meet the Press on Sunday, she said "there was no evidence against" Hicks and that "he finally pleaded guilty to get out of a hellhole". Klugman alleged that Australia was at greater risk of a terrorist attack because of our commitment in Iraq and that consequently, "we have a level of security fear here that is not evident in New Zealand or in Canada".

Despite the resources of the association and a doctorate in politics, Klugman appears unaware that national security is a concern in Canada. A group of Canadian Muslims has been charged with possessing bomb-making equipment and planning to attack targets including Parliament House in Ottawa. One of the men has been accused of wanting to behead Canada's Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. Canada has no forces in Iraq.

A) Henderson ignores New Zealand completely. B) Doesn't mention the fact Canada is part of NATO and the invasion of Afghanistan. And well they should be since the Taliban are scary mofos and seeing them have their arses handed to them was worth the price of admission. It's also worth the upscale in risk to us all as a result (which was one of the reasons the Bali bombings happened by the way). However, had Hendo's precious Bush administration of neocon fuckknuckles that he is so passionate in the defence of from what I have heard him say or write not invaded Iraq they could have fixed Afghanistan. Guess what? Not fixed. Taliban resurgent. Opium greatest bumper crop coming. Kharzi has power in perhaphs a 50 km radius of Kabul, and neighbouring Pakistan - you know the one with nukes - is being rapidly destabilised as a combination of internal discord and the western fuckups in Afghanistan.

What's my point? Henderson ignores 50% of his argument (no NZ) then fails to mention the fact Canada is in it up to its neck in the "War on Terror" - but at least in the sensible part Vs the Captain insaneo part Iraq has played. Oh - the Canadians have lost around 100 military personnel thus far. Would have been nice if Henderson had acknowledged their sacrifice.

What Henderson knows about geopolitics could be written on a postage stamp. He is the poster boy of those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it. And worse luck he's got a profile in the media because the ABC and Fairfax provide balanced viewpoints, even if it means enlisting the "talents" of no nothing idealogues like Henderson.

DISCLAIMER: Gerard Henderson is the former Chief of Staff for John Howard back when Howard was opposition leader in the 1980s. Funny how Henderson never ever mentions that in his disclaimers.

Oh - and to drive it home once more for the Hard of Hearing (ie right wing fuckwits). Almost all Australians who were angered at what happened to Hicks did not support what he did, why he did it, how he felt about it. They were angry because he did not get a fair shake. Want to know how terror can succeed. When they change the political and cultural environment to cause repression. Guess what happened to Hicks and everyone else at Gitmo. Repression.

A commentator a Crikey sums it up well.

Jon Case writes: Is David Hicks's return the end of the political pain for the Howard Government? The answer to this question is probably "yes", but should be, and remains for some, a resounding "no". David Hicks may be "the scum of the earth", or a misguided idealist highly dangerous to Australian interests, or "just a very naughty boy" as some would like to believe; but, in truth, this was never about David Hicks the person. It was always about David Hicks as a symbol of the Federal Government's abrogation of basic legal principles and human rights; and the subjugation of Australia's interests to that of our bullying "Big Brother", the United States.

He goes on to note the following;

This issue is also a test for the Opposition in the lead-up to the election. Under Beazley, they meekly mirrored, and in some abortive cases even tried to outflank on the extreme, the Coalition. Witness the "Australian Values Test". While under Rudd's probing as foreign affairs spokesman and now as Opposition Leader, there seems to have been a substantial repositioning, I suspect that any change in polling on this issue may cause the Opposition to feel from the negative "weak on terrorism. weak on border protection" campaign the Government will no doubt run in the lead-up. The Opposition has the opportunity to run a strong campaign about being "strong on human rights principles" and "strong on the protection of the weak and unrepresented". Will they have the guts to do this?


I hope they do.

*That phrase was famously applied to Saddam Hussein by ... Republicans during the 80s in the US. Around the same time Hendo was COS to Howard.

I wish Gore would run

Check out the Washington Post article here.

A teaser

He [Gore] ascribes the failure to have a full-throated debate on Iraq back in 2002 -- when he spoke out against the looming war, to much nasty jeering from the right -- to the administration's decision to politicize the issue before the midterm elections, but also to "meekness" and "timidity" in both "the legislative branch of government" and in "the press corps."

"A lot of people were afraid of being accused of being unpatriotic," he says. "One of the symptoms of this problem -- the diminishing role for reason, fact and logic -- is that what rushes in to fill the vacuum are extreme partisanship, ideology, fundamentalism and extreme nationalism."

Oh, remember the cavalcade of fuckwits that danced around about Gore's electricity bill? 'Weeeeee,' they cried with moronic fervour. 'He's nothing more than an overweight hypocrite for having an electricity bill 10 times as large as anyone else.' And of course that meant everything he had to say on Global warming was a big fat leftist lie.

An interesting point from Time magazine this week in their excellent feature on the man who should have been president (the below except is on page 2).

Al and Tipper Gore's home, a 1915 antebellum-style mansion in the wealthy Belle Meade section of Nashville, is laid out a bit like Gore himself: a gracious and formal Southern fa├žade; slightly stuffy rooms when you walk in the door; and startlingly modern, relaxed, informal living spaces to the rear. The Gores bought the old place five years ago and are still retrofitting it, making it energy efficient with new windows, new heating and cooling units, solar panels on the roof. (The anti-Gore crowd zinged him recently because his electricity bill last August was 10 times the local average. The Gores pay extra to get 100% of their power from renewable sources, and their zealous retrofitting will no doubt bring their costs down. But it stung.)

Let's select and bold it for the e-retarded.

The Gores pay extra to get 100% of their power from renewable sources

That's a big part of why it cost as much. That and the fact that it's home to his office, his wife, himself, family, and a whole bunch of secret service because he's the ex VP.

Renewables are more expensive but you can get it here in Oz too. For example in the ACT you can elect to pay a wedge extra to have your elecricity sourced from renewables - like the Snowy hydro scheme. We've done that since we could afford to do it.

Anyway, imagine if he ran. Imagine if he won. Imagine the difference he could make.

People wank on heartedly by claiming there's no difference between parties or pollies in effective two party states.

Those people are wrong. Gore is markedly different to Bush. Rudd is very different to Howard (as was Beasley). There are fundamental differences between these people and these ideologies.

Gore would have been an awesome President. And he still can be.


"We'll all be rooned" said Howardrahan


Good.

Worst. President. Ever








Carter on George Bush II

Sarah/Gam of course beat me to it.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Sometimes the public service can be retarded

I like being a public servant. I once semi-seriously said at an interview 'sometimes the worst thing about being a public servant is the public' - which didn't go down too well. What I meant was the 'hello Channel 9, I'd like to complain' letters to the editor types. Apart from them, the public is ace. Being a public servant can give you immense satisfaction in knowing at the end of the day you can and often do make a real difference in the lives of others. Not all of us get it - especially those poor fuckers in finance - but a lot of us do.

But, the PS can also be retarded. One such example is that while I applaud job protection provisions in the public service it is counter pointed by the dross that remains in the public service. There are some time serving deadwood that I think we all have to put up with. But then as Peter in Office Space famously once said they work just hard enough not to get fired. So that's probably the case in the corporate world as well.

Anyway, moving on.

One of the most retarded things I have come across is the end of financial year budget big spend. The Public Service for some reason has this 'use it or lose it' mantra. As in if you don't expend all your budget then next years budget will be the same as last year minus the underspend. The theory is eventually it balances need against projected expenditure. Except it doesn't. Because theories get fucked in first contact with the enemy - in this case public servants. We get encouraged to spend money on crap we don't need. Like training in courses we really don't need to go on. Or conferences where there is no real gain. Or merchandise that will gather dust atop cabinets against the wall. Or new computers where the old ones are perfectly useable given their typical use. New monitors. Mugs with logos on it. This list is endless. All because we want to access, potentially, the higher level of money the next financial year.

I make it a point of pride not to waste money on crap. So I resist the call to spend, spend, spend. Hell I get quotes from over 10 companies sometimes just to get the best deal. We should all be like that in the public service. Because if we spend well, then if there's something we really need to do that will be of real benefit chances are the money for it can be found.

Anyway, if there's PS's out there who know how this retarded money management system came into being I'd like to know about it.

More ND Goodness





Celebratin' being home alone

Take it away Tom (before you got freaky and jested for peanuts on Oprah)



And while we're at it, here's Napoleon.

So why can't he profit?

Some cockhead Liberal was on the 730 report whining about how if Hicks attempted to make money off his story then they'd bring in laws to stop him.

He wasn't convicted of a crime against Australia. In the country he was charged in they have freedom of speech. The only way the original gag order was applied was because a military commission stuck it on him.

Fuck it. If Hicks wants to make cash out of being railroaded by a fucked in the arse antijustice system then I say go for it. Tales of celebs in prison have existed as long as the printing press has. Why is Hicks any different?

Poor PM

Sprung spending half a million dollars of tax payer money on a spanking new dining room for his parliamentary office the PM has now cancelled it.

Unbelievable. Why the fuck would it cost so much for one room? What? It has living tableau of pandas as a fucking feature?

Area Man foreshadows a late start

Today I emailed the boss chain to say I wouldn't be in until 10.30ish.

Why? Because thewife is away and I am going to stay up late and so I will need my sleep.

Weeeeeeee!

Spit Talkin'

Don't you hate it when you're talking to someone and you accidentially gob some spit out.

I thanked the nice ladies at the local corner store as I picked up my highly IBS inappropriate Fish and Chips (thewife is away) and I managed to gob on the next piece of butcher's paper while doing so.

I think I heard them scrunching it up as I left.

UPDATE: Forgot the tag.

When Doves Cry

The Prince song. Prince - weird man. Anyway, the song. Thewife and I have this thing where we have our own choruses in certain songs over laying the instrumental bits.

When Doves Cry is no exception. In fact I think it's the only one we do.

Anyway. The instrumental - for us goes like this (when the snappy doo doodoo doo do bit comes on)

They're trapped in Prince's pants they're ... trapped in Prince's pants. Trapped in Prince's pants they're trapped in Prince's pants ... that's (joins rest of song back up) When Dove's cry.

I know. Hilarious.

TheWife told some co-workers as they were driving along to a meeting. And not one person laughed.

Tumbleweed.

I guess it's one of those had to be there things.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Hicks is back

Well he's back in Oz, to serve out his time for a crime that wasn't a crime at the time.

Hey - that's just like Dr Seuss!

Typically the commercial media pulled itself off about it. "CONVICTED TERRORIST" shrieked Channel 7 who appears to be trying to not only take the ratings crown from 9 but also the No 1# sycophant for the Liberal government badge'o'honour as well. Nice one 7. No mention of the 'controversial legally questionable military trial' that put him there.

I especially love the fact that there's all these helicopter shots of the prison. Forgive my ignorance but don't prisons have no fly zones for helis given the fact someone escaped from jail that way? That would have been ironic if that had happened. I half expected Naomi Robson in a mutant Winnebago/Helicopter to fly into shot, the khaki clad vixen hanging mission impossible style from the bottom covered in lizards as she tried to get the interview of the century.

Oh wait, she quit. I hear she's cannibal kid wrangling on the IJ/PNG border now.

Anyway, Hicks is back. I wish his rehab all the best of luck and hope, that like other prisoners, he has access to the means to further himself while in prison such as educational opportunities.

On a side note I see the US is claiming its military commissions are hot shit again. Hooray!.

They're back to claiming they are legit under the Geneva convention that allows them to try enemy combatants. Pity that only applies to a war between states and that all the people seized for Gitmo - often via bounties - are there under the patriot enemy combatant provisions as opposed to the Geneva convention. Oh well, at least we know that if you're in Gitmo, it's because you're the worst of the worst and that the key will be thrown away and you will never again come to threaten the west or western interests.

Wait - no - I tell a lie. Apparently 395 inmates have since been released and 380 remain. Which means they've let more people go than they have currently locked up.

Let's hope they continue this goodness when the next republican fuckwit gets in - like Mitt Romney who apparently wants to double it.

And the inaugural bravery in blogging goes ...

To Miss P. For blogging on in spite of being trolled.

Go Miss P.


Miss P is now free to hand on that award to blog(s) deserving.

What we need is another Snowy Scheme

No, not an actual snowy scheme where WW2 migrants are herded into dark tunnels where OH&S is largely absent, but a metaphorical snowy scheme to help repair Australia.

We are swimming in fucking cash. Thanks to the mining boom, corporate tax is giving us buckets o money. And what are we doing with it? Well apart from being bribed by the Howard government, we're getting it back in dribs and drabs so we can presumably re-invest it via Bunnings and knick-knackeries to do up our McMansions.

Here's an idea.

Let's fix the country.

Let's come up with a plan where we harness all of government and society and business to give indigenous Australians the absolute best possible chance to succeed in life. They say throwing money at a problem doen't help. It doesn't. Targeting the money for a best possible result does.

So housing is a problem in Aboriginal Australia? Overcrowding, no facilities? Let's teach them to build their own houses. Give them the skill sets to create their infrastructure, maintain it. Offer trade qualifications by teachers trained in their language. Train them to be teachers. Give them maximum resources to not simply wallow in a retarded swamp of no housing, poor health, no education, and where drip fed welfare encourages a life of being blasted drunk because that's all they know. That is of course a gross simplification of the existence of many Aboriginal communities. Many are not like that. Most have dedicated people working to better their communities. But they don't have the resources to do it. Let's give it to them and not be begrudging about it, nor provide fodder for fuckwit media who like nothing more than showing a grubby looking Koori kid jerrycanning on with petrol.

And let's fix the corrections system. Gone should be the idea that people are locked away as punishment. Though this sounds dangerously communist, lets make the re-education centres. Let's make it so they are trained in trades, educated and, importantly, given maximum possible assistance when they get out instead of $50 and a room in a half way house for three weeks. There's a reason why prisoners re-offend. It's because there's nothing out here unless they have their own support network to support them.

Let's have resources for mental health and to support those people who have to look after disabled loved ones with plenty of respite.

All of this costs money. And the returns are not instant. They are five years, ten years, twenty years in the future. But if Macquarie Bank can look 50 years into the future and say 'yes, that toll road is for us' then surely we can look at the most dispossessed elements in Australian society and say 'if we fix it now, then in 50 years this will be just a bad memory of a time when government focussed more on power retention than actual fucking governing.'

That's my 0.02.

Australian "Values" - by Art

Check out Art's blog on Australian Values and the Howard goverment. Well worth a read - and follow the links to the other articles as well.

Go here

Chris Hitchens in the SMH - 19 May (Spectrum)

Hitchens is one of those die hard lefties who turn to the right in later years. Though unlike many such types he's actually worth reading and grounds his opinions in fact. I disagree with a lot he has to say but I respect the fact he's articulate and his opinions are by and large linked to reality. Unlike fuckwits and friends on Fox.

Anyway, his essay in Spectrum in the SMH (can't find it online), is well worth a read. Essentially his thrust is atheism is the only logical and moral choice, and that religion in itself is poison to mankind.

That's one of the things I disagree with him on. His argument that 'religion produces inflexible dogmatists that kill in the name of a man made belief structure therefore all religion bad' is in itself an inflexible dogma. For the simple fact that man can kill in an organised dogmatic fashion irrespective of religion - eg communism, fascism, white supremacists etc.

Religion at its base at least offers a moral code. Sure some of it is whacked like all gays should die, adulterers should be stoned, and wearing cotton mixed with wool is a Neddy no no. But by and large 'let's all get on and here are some rules to live by' is a plus for civilisation - despite some of the massive fuckups along the way.

Hitchens points out of course that moral codes are not dependent on religion any more. And he's right. You don't need religion to point out that 'do good, be just' is essentially the only way humanity should live. We're smart enough now that we don't need to believe in an afterlife where the sins of the past are revisited upon us to work out that fucking on someone is a bad thing.

But it's a massive stretch to claim all of those who have faith in something bigger, something beyond them, that gives them hope, and peace, and a sense of duty and spirit are poisonous to mankind. It's just the hard core intolerant fuckwit types within those belief structures who think 'my way or the highway' and who actively hurt others in a pious belief that only they are right that do the damage to the faith as a whole. Some faiths struggle with this more, and those in a region of the planet soaked in violence and discord, do so more violently than others.

Anyway, it's a good thought provoking essay from an intelligent thought provoking man. Like I said I don't agree with many of his views, and I think his own road to Damascus conversion to neocon land is simply weird, but it makes a lot more sense after reading this why he fears the rise of so called Islamists. Even if as a result of it he's cozying up to inflexible dogmatic 'my way or the highway' types who, for some, support Israel not because they feel they deserve to exist as a nation state despite the violence of its birth, but because they'd rather have the hooknoses in charge than the towelheads when the messiah comes.

UPDATE: See comments to a link to an earlier version of the essay courtesy of MB.

Doing a number 3 is hard

No, not some kind of twixt poo and wee. The haircut option. I tried cropping my hair myself this morning and made a pig's breakfast of it. I looked like a chemo person watching clumps fall out. Number 2's and number 1's with the clippers are easier to manage but the bulk of the three clip thing reduces your ability to control the device. I had to call thewife in to rectify the situation.

On a side note why is it my ears make these friggin' four or five inch spider web fine hairs that I only seem to spot when my hair gets cut? And why is it so pleasurable pulling them out?

A life mystery I guess.

Malcolm makes an uh-oh

Turnbull was on Sunday (channel 9 show) this morning. They asked him about the ALP plan to send navy patrol boats down into our Exclusive Economic Zone to thwart large ships illegally harvesting whales.

Turnbull's response was to say 'we have no legal ability to board or stop vessels in our EEZ - it would be tantemount to piracy.'

An interesting view from a lawyer considering that's exactly what we do to indons that fish in our waters, seizing their boats, jailing them, and burning their craft with great publicity. Here's the blurb on the EEZ from the Fisheries site - go here.

Of course I am not a lawyer so I could be wrong. But given we do X in the north within the EEZ, why can't we do X in the south in our EEZ?

Unfortunate layout in sat's SMH

Laying out a paper is an art form. Not only do you have to balance ads, copy, and graphics to make it harmonious and pleasing to the eye, you have to watch for a potential clash of imagery, ad, and subject matter.

Here's one where it didn't go well.

Click on the image, read the synopsis of the article under the header, then scan down to the ad with the green background below...

Saturday, May 19, 2007

You want me to fvcking what?!?

I'm playing Call of Duty 2 having got over me tendency to PTSD. Actually I'm still getting the heebies. For one how the fuck did any Russian survive WW2? I've been killed about 100 times so far.

Anyway, I'm up to the bit where you have to stick a sticky bomb to the side of a Panzer tank.

Pity you can't advance in the game by finding a stairwell and cowering in it. Jesus fucking hell this is a frustrating game.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Don't let the door hit you on the way out

Sucked in you odious creep. I especially love the fact the Bush administration wanked on about corruption with dealings between the World Bank and the developing world and Wolfie gets the arse for unethical behaviour. Fuck off he thought he was "doing the right thing". Any public servant worth his/her salt knows if your SigOther is involved then you just cannot be in any capacity.

Needless to say it couldn't happen to a nastier guy.

Government "Not Work Choices" ads

Sure enough the Libs are spending our fucking money in telling us about "the fairness test", claiming piously that they're allowed to "inform" Australians of the changes.

Okay then fuckwads. Here's how you do it.

"The WorkChoices laws have changed. For more information please call XXXXX or see our website at www.workplace.gov.au. If you have any questions an information booklet can be mailed to you".

It runs for say 15 seconds. Enough for people to make a note of the relevant information.

There we go. No political crap.

And if you want to counter the ACTU and others ads in further detail you pay the fuck for it. The Howard government has according to Senator Penny Wong spent 1.7 billion dollars since in office on public advertising. That's such bullshit. All government information that is not classified is on the web. Any person can access that information - even if they don't have a computer since libraries etc have them. Even then you can call the department up and be mailed stuff. There is no excuse for this grotesque abuse of the public purse*. Unless you're facing an election and want to stay in at all cost and hang the morality of it. Oh ... I see.

UPDATE: That fucked up workplace site has no contact number. Dickheads. If it does, I couldn't find it in three clicks so even it is there they're still dickheads.

*Obviously there are segments of that advertising that do require broader exposure like recruitment or perhaps some health information. But that's about it.

Back Blood

I have a hairy back. It's Sean Connery/Austin Powers hairy. Well not that hairy, but pretty hairy. It's not attractive. Whilst scratching - for I itch a lot - I felt some lump thing. I picked at it. It felt like one of those hard boil jobies. It half came out. I couldn't get it completely so I asked thewife to have a look.

Her first comment was 'Ew it's all bloody'.

She didn't want to, but with some protective equipment* (folded toilet paper), she picked out the lump.

Blood then ran down my back. It took about three protective equipment sheets to mop it all up and in the end thewife had to alcohol swab it away.

Ewwwwwww back blood

*UPDATE: The term "protective equipment" for toilet paper was invented by thewife. All rights reserved.

HM has a spot of road bother

This morning whilst driving to work a car in the right lane - the lane merging with mine - was speeding along. I thought I had plenty of time to pass him. Except he sped up. In the end he missed clipping me by a metre as I shot ahead of him.

Naturally there was honking from him and fingers pointed with an angry face. I flipped him off back.

Then as we turned on to the two lane he came up beside more. More gesticulation at me and angry facing. So I flipped him back.

I was pretty mad. It was a mutual error - we were both in the wrong. He should have been checking his mirror. I should have recognised he was being a twat and pulled back and let him in front of me.

Suffice to say I considered briefly following him so I could yell at him. I was in that dangerous 'quiet fury' mode. I see why road rage incidents happen. Near accidents could so be actual dangerous to life and limb accidents. It gets the heart pumping. Fight or flight kicks in and, in the cocoon of metal and glass, it's far easier to go the fight response. I have been "chased" a couple of times before - forcing us to head towards a police station. And it seems for a moment I was going to be one of those people. Luckily thewife was in the car which meant while I considered it I dismissed it right away.

Suffice to say YXD403. I have my eyes out for you.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Torture is in

Well in some quarters. Like the current US administration. Despite the fact that torture is morally indefensible in theory and more often than not counter productive in practicality. Case example - the so called high value detainees in the black prisons were alleged only to start really talking when they received humane treatment (according to this Time article - see here).

Torture is so in at the moment that it's basically the central plank of the 24 franchise, which I believe from memory has featured about 60+ incidents of torture by the central protagonist.

No surprises there. Torture is rife throughout mainstream TV and film. The tough, hard as nails hero beating the tar out of evil doers for information, or turning the table on them having been tortured himself. It's a rare movie where a hero says something along the lines of 'no, to do so would be stooping to their level.'

How I remembered cheering Arnie when the dude he was dangling over the cliff said 'I thought you said you'd kill me last?!' and Arnie risposted in monotone 'I lied.'

Anyway, this article in the Wash Post makes some interesting points. The main point being that allowing a little bit opens the gates for a lot.

As has happened with every other nation that has tried to engage in a little bit of torture -- only for the toughest cases, only when nothing else works -- the abuse spread like wildfire, and every captured prisoner became the key to defusing a potential ticking time bomb. Our soldiers in Iraq confront real "ticking time bomb" situations every day, in the form of improvised explosive devices, and any degree of "flexibility" about torture at the top drops down the chain of command like a stone -- the rare exception fast becoming the rule.

To understand the impact this has had on the ground, look at the military's mental health assessment report released earlier this month. The study shows a disturbing level of tolerance for abuse of prisoners in some situations. This underscores what we know as military professionals: Complex situational ethics cannot be applied during the stress of combat. The rules must be firm and absolute; if torture is broached as a possibility, it will become a reality.

And don't by all means think the authors are loony lefty types with no experience of how the real world works when it comes to terrorism, war, and the world being filled with bad men that need their toe shot off because the bomb timer is ticking down to zero, the authors, Charles Krulak and Joseph P. Hoar, were former high ranking career military. Krulak was commandant of the Marine Corps from 1995 to 1999 and Hoar was commander in chief of U.S. Central Command from 1991 to 1994.

Oh - for a review of the 24 series in the NYT which discusses the fantasy presented Vs the reality esp in regards to the 'he knows something, apply the electrodes', see here. Page 2 references the 60+ torture count for the first 5 seasons.

Hockey logic bomb blows up in his face

Howard is on 730 report lying his snake weasel arse off about Bastard Boys; "It completely ignored the fact the waterfront was in dire need of reform!" he shrilly denounced while labelling it nothing more than leftist propaganda.

No it didn't. The fucking ending pointed out the transformation the mutual decision between the MUA and Patrick vastly increased productivity. Despite efforts to have all these people on the heap you illegal sacking workers toad.

Anyway, Hockey.

Today Gilliard floated the idea that AWAs could be left to run their course but if a worker was unhappy with it they could leave it. Hockey claimed this was the stuff of fairies (according to the interview I heard).

Really Joe? So ... the fucked up too little too late fairness test which allegedly protects the unfortunates under 75k who were effectively forced to sign away award conditions for a 0.02 cent an hour pay increase don't get the protection you bought in because you belatedly recognised the political damage your AWAs were doing? Sucked in is it? Boo hoo, so sad teen workers with no weekend or public holiday loading? Tough titties for you?

As for your claim 'we never intended penalty rates to be traded away for no compensation' crap I am still laughing about that.


When you enable business to race to the bottom on wages and give them take it or leave it mechanisms to force unpalatable AWAs on workers, guess what? They will use them.

Cretins.

Mikey Moments!

I have achieved localised blogging fame. Yes my habit of extolling my experiences of unfortunate error or stupidity in real life on dis here e-soapbox has been recognised with the appellation of 'Mikey Moment'. It's just like when Homer had his name in the dictionary for succeeding despite incompetence.

Thanks Miss P! .

Miss P and Bruce's MM's are classics.

Mikey Moment(tm) - have you had one today?

Actually I did. I started slagging off materialistic charasmatic pentacostals until my boss quietly reminded me that the guy I had been talking to was a hardcore Xtian.

Note: I know some people in real life that might fit the pentacostal mode. But they are not the materially obsessed types Hillsong appears to represent.

Angry Underpants

Domestics are never fun. But we all have them from time to time. And they seem to spark in close confines like getting ready for events or trying to leave the house in a hurry. Well that’s been my experience. Anyway the worst domestics are the ones where you’re nude or barely dressed. Because the added layer of awkwardness is such that you immediately want to cover up and not have your partner see you.

Trouble is the underpants. Putting undies on when angry is fraught with difficulty. Especially if your centre of mass is complicated by a large gut as it puts you off balance. Trying to stomp a leg through a leg hole, then the next hole, while emotionally fraught - and pull them up properly without toppling over is a fractious exercise. Further complicating it is the fact you can accidentally saw into your testes with the elastic if you yank up too fast.

Undies. Don’t don angry.

Bill Moyers and Jon Stewart

Discussion on the media, Iraq, the role of humour, and the fact that Stewart manages to ask the tough questions in the guise of a clown than serious media cannot not - or choose not to.

If you have a spare 30 mins it's well worth it - go here

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Remembering movies of yesteryear - Crazy People

You kids and your music are prob too young to remember this movie. But it is without a doubt one of my all time favourite flicks. Awesome, awesome lines. Awesome scenes. Awesome jokes.

"Yes I want a hand job from a strange woman" ads for Jaguar.

Gold

Hockey drowning on late line

In relation to the Polls that show he and his government is on the nose like three day old spilled milk in the carpet footwell of your car - "Labor push polls and ... I'm not qualified to interpret polls."

Now he's saying 'we never intended penalty rates to be traded away for no compensation as being the norm under this system.'

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Un-fucking-believable.

And he wanked on with this so called 'paid off Labor debt'. Rubbery figures using fucksticks.

UPDATE: Now he's defending how they defended the ass fuck Spotlight gave workers last year when they gave them AWAs for an extra 0.02 an hour in return for their award conditions. Because apparently "it gave people jobs for the first time."

Really. If unemployment is fucking 4.4% then this does not wash. Of course Tony Jones asked 'well would it be allowed under your new fairness test?' Hockey 'Er .. no.'

UPDATE2: mistakenly said he could only see future tinkering for WC as being 'minor and technical in nature'. Good news everybody! Hockey also keeps coming back to all the good stuff he's done. Oh - changes in WC legislation to fuck workers off with no warning and no unfair dismissal is good for the long term unemployed and women because it gives courage to small business to hire people. Um, if they need people, they're going to get hired. It doesn't matter where the fuck they came from - long term unemployed or women. Jesus these people shit me.

The Liberal Party Quandry - we gave you what we think you want, why don't you like us?

I will tell you.

Because you're a pack of chunts and the people woke up to it when you bought in Work Choices.

Bad luck, so sad, adios.

Much Schadenfreude

Jerry Falwell, Christian cleric and ‘agent of Intolerance’ according to the then plain speaking John McCain (Vs the spun McCain of today), died yesterday, leaving a gaping hole in the ranks of bigots who abuse the spirit of Christ – which summed up seems to be Do Good, Be Just.

Whilst burling to work this morning I happened to hear a excerpt of an interview Falwell had given recently concerning his mortality, since he’d been of ill health of late.

Falwell said that like Hezekiah he too had prayed to the good lord for another 15 years so he could complete whatever heinous anti-Christian crap he had going in the name of Christ.

Looks like God says no … (cough)









On a side note, whilst trying to determine who Falwell had been talking about (I thought originally Ezekiel) RE the 15 year extension (No ... {cough}), I came across this website extolling virtues of good doings.

I have to say. Worst. Webpage name. Ever.

Is it wrong to want to pat his head?

There's a dude about three workstation bays over that has a perfectly symmertrical haircut - where his hair is straight up but level all over his head (well, the normal parts where hair is found).

I just know that if I patted the top of his head it would give me a pleasing sproing sensation as I bounced my palm up and down.

Maybe I will ask him.

I used to discuss outrageous topics, do odd things, and swear mightily at liquid lunches in the public service. But since I drive now I can't do that no more. If I did go to an LL, and I happened to pass his WS on the way back from it, I would probably ask him if I could got the pat.

Or just do it.


Sproing ! Sproing!

Area man gets covert cake call

At work today I noticed trays of delish pastries that were being prepared for the consumption of big wig types in an upcoming meeting.

I admired them, for they looked eminently edible, and yeah didst I want them in my tum.

So I happened to say ‘hey if there are any leftovers, let me know’.

At about 2 pm the phone rang from 30 metres down the corridor.

‘HM, it’s me. The pastries are here if you want them,’ whispered the EA.

Down HM went, stealing a glance from around the partition. I got half a Danish and a melting moment. The moment was so crumbly I was forced to eat it with the bin balanced on the edge of my chair and wedged between my legs. It looked like I was going to be sick.

Ah workplace dining. Is there anything finer than a free pastry item?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Corrigan on Bastard Boys

First up let me say that I thought the portrayal of Corrigan was pretty balanced. He had reasons for what he did even if they were a fuck you to a lot of people. Plus his character was wryly humorous. Anyway, this is what Corrigan had to say about it.

It's a puff for Greg Combet and it just happens to coincide with his run for Parliament. It's virtually worshipful, putting him in the most favourable light.

I think the Government gets off very lightly, given that they concocted the whole scheme and John Howard personally signed off on it. We have the cabinet documents, and he signed off on the sacking of the entire workforce.

Interesting isn't it? That was the one thing that saddened me on this. The fact senior government figures were directly involved in an illegal act to fuck people over. Then claimed victory in the 1998 election for reforming the waterfront. How the fuck is it they did not get charged? Why didn't the DPP step in if the unions didn't?

UPDATE: Apparently the second para should be attributed to Greg Combet - not Corrigan. Lateline just corrected it (I assume Crikey got it from there) and the Daily Terror is quoting it as Combet see here.

Warning - the DT piece is very much an 'Apply lips to Corrigan and suck'.

David Penberthy strikes again

Whilst cruising past the cafe in my work I couldn't help notice the Daily Tele's vomit across the front page.

HOW COULD SHE, The poor little baby dumped by her mother

(forgetting the question mark I noticed)

Rightly so people complained about it as not really helping. For example encouraging the mother to get treatment/counselling/contact with the relevant people.

But this is Penberthy in action. This is the same fuckwit who when the ex ALP pollie killed himself in the bush Penberthy hilariously passed around a mobile phone to colleagues saying 'its for you' only to reveal the call had gone through to the dead man's voicemail.

He's a shit stain on journalism in this country. And is one of the prime reasons the Tele has gotten even stupider and jingoistic than ever - akin to one of Rupert's fleet street rags in the UK that frequently go the boot into minorities all the while showing glassy eyed bints flashing their surgically enhanced norgs at anyone opening the paper.

It was most pleasing to see Kennett of all people, in his capacity for working at Beyond Blue, slam the fucker for his actions - see here.

It was most amusing also to read of Penburthy's feeble protestations at running it by claiming 'it was a gut reaction of all the young ladies who work for me', reminding me of Burns' version of events from the episode where he ran over Bart.

Virginia Trioli, who interviewed a contrite-less Penberthy on air, gave him an absolute beauty.

During a fiesty exchange, Trioli said she did not accept this explanation.

"[As] editor there's a process you go through where you engage your brain before you speak," she said. "The internal question might be 'How could she?'. But the question that you pose on the front-page of the paper surely has to be responsible in terms of what the police is trying to achieve, which is to get the woman to come forward."

Gold.

Fat people are no damn good.

Moe: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.

Replace old with fat and that seems to me to be fairly on track for the views of many people. Despite the fact of course 60% of westerners are overweight (or more).

Fat is the final frontier of abuse. You can't mess with someone for their race. Their culture. Their gippy walk. Their speech impediment (you can, but you look like an arse-hat). But you can mess with someone who's fat.

Because clearly it's all their fault. They are the ones who lack self will not to apparently gorge. They are the ones that won't apparently go for a walk for 30 minutes a day (or 60 minutes depending on who is saying). They're the ones that gobble large portions (we all do, they pay for it). They are the ones who can't stop being hungry.

Fat people, suck.

Well, that's what you'd think if you took all of that shit to heart. Which many fattos, me included, do on occasion.

Indeed, as Richard Cohen noted, for those in the political limelight being fat can be political poison.

The book he mentions, Rethinking Thin: The New Science of Weight Loss, seems to be quite interesting. Check out the review here.

It's a good snapshot of why people eat the way they do, why fat people stay fat - or refatten if they lose it unless regimented for the rest of their lives, and societal opinions of those who are overweight.

The book is light on the ground (ha ha) in some areas according to the review, but it acknowledges the valid point that A) some people will always be fat and B) being healthy and happy is far more beneficial than not being healthy and happy, irrespective of your build.

What’s more persuasive is Kolata’s contention that we should replace the elusive goal of thinness with the goal of better health and greater happiness. Here her argument is eminently sensible: Sure, shape up your body. But mostly, make your peace with it.

Amen to that. I eat well (though too much). I exercise (not nearly enough however). But at least I try. And if the price to pay for not striving to put being slim ahead of everything else in my life, including my happiness, is fuckwits in cars calling me a fat cunt as they speed past, or cockheads in blogland using my self admitted condition in a saddo effort to try and make fatty cry*, then so be it.

*
I think that's what they are trying to do; either that or they are beating off whilst thinking of my curvy bod

Monday, May 14, 2007

What happened to education? ... Howard did

Howard, like much of what he has accomplished in the past decade, has altered the times to suit him. One was the idea that people couldn't just buy their way ahead of others into uni and disrupting what he likely saw as dangerously lefty places by forcing them down the purely commercial route. Heaven forbid they teach people how to think and educate them beyond the immediacy of what was needed to economically function like modern day e-mill workers.

This is snipped from today's Crikey (by Margaret Thornton, president of the Association of the Public University and professor of law)

Over the last 25 years, spending on university operating grants dropped from approximately 90% to 38%. The rate of contraction was most rapid since the Howard Government came into office in 1996. How paradoxical it is that money should be taken away with the left hand only to have some of it returned with the right -- as though it were an act of benevolence!

We cannot ignore the damage that has already been done to higher education because of the contraction in funding. The sector has not only been impoverished but the very idea of education as a public good has been turned upside down.

As a result of the budget cuts, universities were forced to become market players and sell the only product they had on offer -- education. As a result, students became customers, concerned more about credentialism and the ability to secure a high-paying job in order to repay their mounting education debts rather than the quality of the education itself. Full-fee courses are now offered to both domestic and international students. From 2008, the cap on the amount institutions can charge will be lifted.

In another example of reversion to the values of the 19th century, the ability to pay rather than academic excellence has once again become the criterion for admission. The egalitarian idea of free tertiary education, introduced by Gough Whitlam just over 30 years ago, now seems like a mirage.