Naturally 100% partisan and self serving. Let's look (thanks to the SMH)
PM's reaction from article (bits RE PM in ital)
Prime Minister John Howard said Hicks pleaded guilty to assisting terrorists only because the US military had a strong case against him.
Well you should hope so. They had five years to put it together and can rely on both hearsay information and information gained from coercive interrogation (aka torture). Frankly I'd admit to anything with a damn good rodgering from a glow stick but the PM's made of sterner stuff. He'd probably say 'I can take it all bitch' and demand they sink it in deeper. Go the PM.
Mr Howard fired back at critics over the controversial military tribunal that tried Hicks, saying: "Whatever may be the rhetorical responses of some and particularly the government's critics, the facts speak for themselves."
"He pleaded guilty to knowingly assisting a terrorist organisation - namely al-Qaeda.
Pleaded guilty in a manifestly unfair legal process where he had little chance of escaping proven guilt and where he was offered a deal to do far less time than he would anyway.
"He's not a hero in my eyes and he ought not to be a hero in the eyes of any people in the Australian community.
I don't think anyone ever said he was a hero. Perhaps in deluded righty land where Howard lives people who stand up and say 'this man, whose views and actions I distain, is being treated badly' constitutes that man being a hero.
"The bottom line will always be that he pleaded guilty to knowingly assisting a terrorist organisation.
Under a military commission to laws he broke roughly five years before they were made (2001 Vs 2006). Cough - retroactive - cough.
"He's acknowledged the prosecution could have proved that beyond a reasonable doubt."
In a military commission where the executive supplies the judiciary, the prosecution, the defence, the prison system and where evidence not able to be tendered in a normal court such as hearsay and that gained through duress, is permitted. Let alone the fact that despite your weasel words he never ever received presumption of innocence and wasn't charged for a long period of time and when charged the process that he was charged under was thrown out by the US supreme court as a broken shit smear of a legal process - a process yet to be challenged again in court. And where when he went to trial two thirds of his defence team were sacked and the only man in uniform that has done him any service at all - Major Mori - was facing charges of professional conduct - charges I am certain would have been officially laid should Hicks have continued.
Mr Howard also rejected claims that the Australian government influenced the tribunal to deliver a sentence for Hicks that would see him released after the federal election later this year.
Well we all know that's a massive pack of shit. He would have presented a 'wish for this to be resolved speedily' and the US would have read between the lines and known exactly what he meant. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out "Honest John" is a scheming little prick who would happily allow a man to rot without being able to access a fair legal process because it suited him politically.
And Australians have voted him in, what four times? Man I despair, I really do. But the times do suit him (S11, mortgages that will fuck you up the arse if rates go up too high). Hopefully that's about to change.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Huh? Talking works??
From the NY Observor via the SMH, an article on how the Irish peace process of power sharing gives hope for the Palestinian issue to be resolved. In that eventually people talk and eventually even the most hysterical terror groups end up talking too. And that despite all the blood and death on both sides, accords can be reached. See the article here.
The conclusion (spoiler) is particularly excellent
Almost every armed struggle is underpinned by grandiose claims of ideological purity. Any engagement with the electoral process erodes those justifications, because it brings the would-be revolutionaries into the messy business of realpolitik, however reluctantly, and makes it more difficult for them to ignore the will of the broad mass of people, who are almost never as radical as the guerillas themselves.
Making peace with erstwhile violent groups is a delicate business: it requires not merely pressure or concessions, but a nerve-wracking combination of both. But now is the time to engage with the Palestinians.
The late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat used to talk about a "peace of the brave". He never showed that bravery. Neither Israel nor its friends in the West should be found wanting now.
The conclusion (spoiler) is particularly excellent
Almost every armed struggle is underpinned by grandiose claims of ideological purity. Any engagement with the electoral process erodes those justifications, because it brings the would-be revolutionaries into the messy business of realpolitik, however reluctantly, and makes it more difficult for them to ignore the will of the broad mass of people, who are almost never as radical as the guerillas themselves.
Making peace with erstwhile violent groups is a delicate business: it requires not merely pressure or concessions, but a nerve-wracking combination of both. But now is the time to engage with the Palestinians.
The late Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat used to talk about a "peace of the brave". He never showed that bravery. Neither Israel nor its friends in the West should be found wanting now.
Two fingers to Miranda
In the Postcript on the Letters page of today's SMH, the Letter's editor Jennie Curtin notes the following
While the state of the planet occupied minds at week's end, before that all talk was of David Hicks. Many were unsurprised by his guilty plea, bearing in mind conditions at Guantanamo Bay. The actual issue of his guilt or innocence was largely ignored, and more consideration given to his five years' incarceration. Until Miranda Devine wrote in her column of egg on the faces of the "naive hysterics who believe he is a tortured innocent" and the "glory-seeking civil rights lawyers who have attached themselves to his case". Well, the lawyers were fairly quiet in response but the "naive hysterics" hit back in their hundreds. Most were outraged. But some, like Selina Cheng, were more moderate: "His Australian citizenship and his right as a human being to ethical and humane treatment - even under suspicion of guilt - is what people are supporting, not what he did."
Damn straight Selina Cheng. It's a shame Hicks' detractors do not, nor will ever, get that.
While the state of the planet occupied minds at week's end, before that all talk was of David Hicks. Many were unsurprised by his guilty plea, bearing in mind conditions at Guantanamo Bay. The actual issue of his guilt or innocence was largely ignored, and more consideration given to his five years' incarceration. Until Miranda Devine wrote in her column of egg on the faces of the "naive hysterics who believe he is a tortured innocent" and the "glory-seeking civil rights lawyers who have attached themselves to his case". Well, the lawyers were fairly quiet in response but the "naive hysterics" hit back in their hundreds. Most were outraged. But some, like Selina Cheng, were more moderate: "His Australian citizenship and his right as a human being to ethical and humane treatment - even under suspicion of guilt - is what people are supporting, not what he did."
Damn straight Selina Cheng. It's a shame Hicks' detractors do not, nor will ever, get that.
Fun at da shops
We went to Belco Westfield. Whilst there I...
...Had a foam sword fight with a friend in Toys R Us. No offence mate, but I touched gut before you did ("Did not" "Did so" "Did not" etc).
...Saw Jon Stanhope buying stuff. Felt like going over and saying 'hey man, great job' but that would be creepy and make him uncomfortable.
...But the absolute best thing I saw was a big fuck off yellow fire truck filled with firies parked in the Woolies 'emergency vehicles only' bay. And right next to the truck was a big line of shopping trolleys that were clearly blocking the door with the sign on it that read 'Fire exit; do not obstruct'.
Ah, for those moment when I wish I had a camera. But I am such luddite the mobile phone (which I swore I would never get) doesn't have one. TheWife's does but she would have been annoyed if I had tried to take a photo of it.
...Had a foam sword fight with a friend in Toys R Us. No offence mate, but I touched gut before you did ("Did not" "Did so" "Did not" etc).
...Saw Jon Stanhope buying stuff. Felt like going over and saying 'hey man, great job' but that would be creepy and make him uncomfortable.
...But the absolute best thing I saw was a big fuck off yellow fire truck filled with firies parked in the Woolies 'emergency vehicles only' bay. And right next to the truck was a big line of shopping trolleys that were clearly blocking the door with the sign on it that read 'Fire exit; do not obstruct'.
Ah, for those moment when I wish I had a camera. But I am such luddite the mobile phone (which I swore I would never get) doesn't have one. TheWife's does but she would have been annoyed if I had tried to take a photo of it.
Ouch - Ramsey gives both barrels to Rudd
Alan Ramsey is one of the elder journos in Oz. And unlike many, he doesn't (at least to me) appear tainted by leaning to one side of politics or the other (though he has an overt loathing of Howard). Righties contend he is a mouthpiece for the ALP - but hey they would.
Anyway in regards to the recent remorph of Rudd's family tale of woe, Ramsey listed in some detail the efforts the Ruddster had gone to kill the story - claiming it was nothing more than a character sledge. He's right - sort of - in the sense it questioned his character. Except of course it is a story that is of public interest and you have to wear these things in politics.
See it here
But in the story the think that shocked me the most - and I wasn't shocked by Rudds attempting to kill it because it was a character sledge and threatened the idealised image he'd carefully presented. It was this bit.
Rudd made, it seems, at least three more calls. If Dulhunty was convinced he was going to run the story, what could he say? Rudd asked. He was told, yet again, that the paper would like his response. He said he would email a reply, then called again to say he would dictate his words. "He sounded like he was in a cupboard," Dulhunty told others later. Where Rudd was, in fact, the paper learned that night, was at lunch at the Sydney home of the Murdoch columnist Piers Akerman.
Let's bold the scary bit.
Where Rudd was, in fact, the paper learned that night, was at lunch at the Sydney home of the Murdoch columnist Piers Akerman.
WTF?!?!?!
Piers Akerman!?!?!
I know turning partisan media to your side is an essential part of any politician that is seeking the broad mandate of the people, and perhaps scoring a fuck you on an opponent, but having lunch with him[it]!?!?!
Kevin, say it ain't so!
Piers Akerman has been nothing but a bloated voicepiece for the Liberal party pretty much for 20 odd years. He has nothing good to say about the ALP, even if it was thrust into his face and pointed at, and even then he'd claim it was a Liberal plan stolen by Labor. He is a distended piece of infected rectum. Do not hang around with him.
Anyway in regards to the recent remorph of Rudd's family tale of woe, Ramsey listed in some detail the efforts the Ruddster had gone to kill the story - claiming it was nothing more than a character sledge. He's right - sort of - in the sense it questioned his character. Except of course it is a story that is of public interest and you have to wear these things in politics.
See it here
But in the story the think that shocked me the most - and I wasn't shocked by Rudds attempting to kill it because it was a character sledge and threatened the idealised image he'd carefully presented. It was this bit.
Rudd made, it seems, at least three more calls. If Dulhunty was convinced he was going to run the story, what could he say? Rudd asked. He was told, yet again, that the paper would like his response. He said he would email a reply, then called again to say he would dictate his words. "He sounded like he was in a cupboard," Dulhunty told others later. Where Rudd was, in fact, the paper learned that night, was at lunch at the Sydney home of the Murdoch columnist Piers Akerman.
Let's bold the scary bit.
Where Rudd was, in fact, the paper learned that night, was at lunch at the Sydney home of the Murdoch columnist Piers Akerman.
WTF?!?!?!
Piers Akerman!?!?!
I know turning partisan media to your side is an essential part of any politician that is seeking the broad mandate of the people, and perhaps scoring a fuck you on an opponent, but having lunch with him[it]!?!?!
Kevin, say it ain't so!
Piers Akerman has been nothing but a bloated voicepiece for the Liberal party pretty much for 20 odd years. He has nothing good to say about the ALP, even if it was thrust into his face and pointed at, and even then he'd claim it was a Liberal plan stolen by Labor. He is a distended piece of infected rectum. Do not hang around with him.
And then I did this and then I did that and then I ...
Hicksie is a coming home, having copped to a slew of stuff and will receive a max of seven years. Seven additional years it seems since the five years he had, as I noted many wonderful months earlier, doesn't appear to have counted (as a result of being detained Vs charged & detained).
Cue open mouthed Troy Macclure slap.
What Hick's admitted to is pretty full on. Eg Talking with OBL, guarding tanks, being on the front line for a short spell (before bolting), and saying S11 was a hum dinger. He's also going to rat on several others. Though of course I assume the ratting has already been done during the five years he's been in. Wisely, as a sop to their Oz "War on Terror" mates the US has put a gag order on Hick's talking to the media (because military commissions have such rules built in you see when charging captured enemies from the battlefield in a state vs state conflict; how I remember all those Nazis post WWII chomping at the bit to discuss Blitzkrieg but could not).
But this bit. This bit made me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh
He also agreed that he had "never been illegally treated by any persons in the control or custody of the United States".
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Pretty much the clearest indicator to me of 'I will sign anything to get out of here.' No offense to my Yank brethren, but let's face it, they got a bit happy with the night stick - as evidenced by hundreds who have been released saying so.
Of course the massive excellence is that the government, and its many wonderful supporters in the right wing media will wank on about 'See!? See!?! Bin Laden! Training! Shotguns! Sirens!'
But I believe the effective counter is 'But he made it out ... with a bullet in his back'
Jaaaaaaaaaaaail Break...
Like I said. Even if he did all this stuff he now signed on to do. Not illegal at the time he did it (though the being on the frontlines after Oz entered the conflict could perhaps be an indicator of bad stuff - which WE could have charged him with).
Even if morally suckful, sometimes people have to go free in order to preserve greater overall freedoms. But hey, that's just the notions of law I like adhere to.
UPDATE: He's out in just nine months, with the rest suspended (ie he commits a crime, back in he goes for the balance). Interesting. Of course New Years means the federal election would have been and gone. See SMH here.
Cue open mouthed Troy Macclure slap.
What Hick's admitted to is pretty full on. Eg Talking with OBL, guarding tanks, being on the front line for a short spell (before bolting), and saying S11 was a hum dinger. He's also going to rat on several others. Though of course I assume the ratting has already been done during the five years he's been in. Wisely, as a sop to their Oz "War on Terror" mates the US has put a gag order on Hick's talking to the media (because military commissions have such rules built in you see when charging captured enemies from the battlefield in a state vs state conflict; how I remember all those Nazis post WWII chomping at the bit to discuss Blitzkrieg but could not).
But this bit. This bit made me laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh
He also agreed that he had "never been illegally treated by any persons in the control or custody of the United States".
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Pretty much the clearest indicator to me of 'I will sign anything to get out of here.' No offense to my Yank brethren, but let's face it, they got a bit happy with the night stick - as evidenced by hundreds who have been released saying so.
Of course the massive excellence is that the government, and its many wonderful supporters in the right wing media will wank on about 'See!? See!?! Bin Laden! Training! Shotguns! Sirens!'
But I believe the effective counter is 'But he made it out ... with a bullet in his back'
Jaaaaaaaaaaaail Break...
Like I said. Even if he did all this stuff he now signed on to do. Not illegal at the time he did it (though the being on the frontlines after Oz entered the conflict could perhaps be an indicator of bad stuff - which WE could have charged him with).
Even if morally suckful, sometimes people have to go free in order to preserve greater overall freedoms. But hey, that's just the notions of law I like adhere to.
UPDATE: He's out in just nine months, with the rest suspended (ie he commits a crime, back in he goes for the balance). Interesting. Of course New Years means the federal election would have been and gone. See SMH here.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Stanford Prison Experiment
TheWife told me about this some years ago, and I just noticed it in a Daily Show reel blurb.
See the wiki here
It's an example of how there is a staggeringly high percentage of people who will be willing to fuck on another person given certain conditions in place. It explains a lot to me - from school bullies right through to sadistic wardens throughout history, and to those who support political policies that are designed expressely to fuck on people. It's important why we have to reinforce respect for people throughout everything we do. And it's probably why us public service drones in sector seven g have to do equity and anti bully training every year to remind us that fucking on people is wrong and that when we see it happen we should say something and do something.
So in that spirit, and according to the public service charter to which I am signed, I would like to point out that certain key members of the executive have fucked on a large chunk of the populace in the form of racial and cultural vilification and have fostered a poisonous let's fuck on people culture as evident in the mannifestation of the Cronulla incident, and the right wing of blogland who think anyone with a funny name and a religion they know next to nothing about is packing a bomb.
It's my civic duty.
See the wiki here
It's an example of how there is a staggeringly high percentage of people who will be willing to fuck on another person given certain conditions in place. It explains a lot to me - from school bullies right through to sadistic wardens throughout history, and to those who support political policies that are designed expressely to fuck on people. It's important why we have to reinforce respect for people throughout everything we do. And it's probably why us public service drones in sector seven g have to do equity and anti bully training every year to remind us that fucking on people is wrong and that when we see it happen we should say something and do something.
So in that spirit, and according to the public service charter to which I am signed, I would like to point out that certain key members of the executive have fucked on a large chunk of the populace in the form of racial and cultural vilification and have fostered a poisonous let's fuck on people culture as evident in the mannifestation of the Cronulla incident, and the right wing of blogland who think anyone with a funny name and a religion they know next to nothing about is packing a bomb.
It's my civic duty.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
I'll be in the shower with a wire brush
David Oldfield has publicly apologised to his wife after failing a lie detector test on the question of whether or not he had sex with Pauline Hanson.
shudder
Frankly he should be apologising to all of us.
On a lighter note from the same article...
Ms Hanson appeared nonplussed when comics from TV's The Chaser turned up at her book launch with a stained dress they said was proof of her affair.
Gold. Watched last night's ep, laughed until I choked.
shudder
Frankly he should be apologising to all of us.
On a lighter note from the same article...
Ms Hanson appeared nonplussed when comics from TV's The Chaser turned up at her book launch with a stained dress they said was proof of her affair.
Gold. Watched last night's ep, laughed until I choked.
Poor Miss P
Alas Miss P has discovered of late the nasty side of blogging. A semi-sometime new stalker trawling blogs to fling shit at people. Miss P happened to list a youtube piece featuring a heavyset girl talking about her opinion on weight.
So what did her stalker post?
Fat people are lazy. They indulge in their fatness at the cost of the rest of the community who take care of their weight.
Fat people are selfish. Later in life when they have health problems because of their fatness, it is the rest of the community who has to pay.
Fat people make health insurance premiums go up.
Just like smoking, fat kills.
Get over your inferiority complex by losing some weight.
You all are typical socialists want everyone else to pay instead of taking responsibility for your actions.
Good luck with your diabetes.
Wow. What a fucking hero. I've said it before and I will say it again. Right wing fuckwits just cannot help themselves. If they can't win an argument, and the deck's stacked against them given their reliance on fearful platitudes [jihadists die; Islam bad; Greenies evil] over fact based reasoning, they go the personal sledge.
It was probably directed at me as well, and I suspect he's been goaded on by a certain festy bearded nob that gives sons of the soil a bad name. For some reason tools seek said dickhead's approval.
Personally I think he has a fat fetish and he beats off to Plumpers* or one of those low rent free niche p0rn sites that litter the net. Whatever his sexual peccadilloes, one thing is clear, he's an a-grade e-fuckwit.
He rates a 3 on my pity metre.
By the way, as to his opinions on the evil fatties stealing his precious tax dollars which he could better employ purchasing back issues of plumpers, they're almost identical to Tony 'the government can't help you with health related issues because you bring it all on yourself' Abbott. Funny that.
UPDATE: Oh, he forgot a fat fact.
Fat people make up 60% of the population of this country.
UPDATE 2: Larry ripostes at Miss P's
Skinny people are lazy. They indulge in their irrational desire to be thin at the cost of the community who take care of their fragility.
Skinny people are selfish. Later in life when they have health problems because of their diminished body mass, it is the rest of the community who has to pay.
Eating disorders make health insurance premiums go up.
Just like smoking, low body weight kills.
Get over your inferiority complex by gaining some weight.
You all are typical socialists want everyone else to pay instead of taking responsibility for your body image issues.
Good luck with your liver failure.
(The argument is so illogical you can apply it anywhere!)
*HA! How does you know about Plumpers unless you get them?! QED. Er no, I live in the ACT. There's porn in this thar territory freely available at many, many fine erotic shops. Often, as irony would have it, frequented by right wing fuckholes. There's a reason why the Libs didn't bring down great vengance on the X rated industry despite saying they would. I suspect it's because of the security tape footage of certain pollies pushing shopping trolleys around those stores.
So what did her stalker post?
Fat people are lazy. They indulge in their fatness at the cost of the rest of the community who take care of their weight.
Fat people are selfish. Later in life when they have health problems because of their fatness, it is the rest of the community who has to pay.
Fat people make health insurance premiums go up.
Just like smoking, fat kills.
Get over your inferiority complex by losing some weight.
You all are typical socialists want everyone else to pay instead of taking responsibility for your actions.
Good luck with your diabetes.
Wow. What a fucking hero. I've said it before and I will say it again. Right wing fuckwits just cannot help themselves. If they can't win an argument, and the deck's stacked against them given their reliance on fearful platitudes [jihadists die; Islam bad; Greenies evil] over fact based reasoning, they go the personal sledge.
It was probably directed at me as well, and I suspect he's been goaded on by a certain festy bearded nob that gives sons of the soil a bad name. For some reason tools seek said dickhead's approval.
Personally I think he has a fat fetish and he beats off to Plumpers* or one of those low rent free niche p0rn sites that litter the net. Whatever his sexual peccadilloes, one thing is clear, he's an a-grade e-fuckwit.
He rates a 3 on my pity metre.
By the way, as to his opinions on the evil fatties stealing his precious tax dollars which he could better employ purchasing back issues of plumpers, they're almost identical to Tony 'the government can't help you with health related issues because you bring it all on yourself' Abbott. Funny that.
UPDATE: Oh, he forgot a fat fact.
Fat people make up 60% of the population of this country.
UPDATE 2: Larry ripostes at Miss P's
Skinny people are lazy. They indulge in their irrational desire to be thin at the cost of the community who take care of their fragility.
Skinny people are selfish. Later in life when they have health problems because of their diminished body mass, it is the rest of the community who has to pay.
Eating disorders make health insurance premiums go up.
Just like smoking, low body weight kills.
Get over your inferiority complex by gaining some weight.
You all are typical socialists want everyone else to pay instead of taking responsibility for your body image issues.
Good luck with your liver failure.
(The argument is so illogical you can apply it anywhere!)
*HA! How does you know about Plumpers unless you get them?! QED. Er no, I live in the ACT. There's porn in this thar territory freely available at many, many fine erotic shops. Often, as irony would have it, frequented by right wing fuckholes. There's a reason why the Libs didn't bring down great vengance on the X rated industry despite saying they would. I suspect it's because of the security tape footage of certain pollies pushing shopping trolleys around those stores.
Miranda Devine creates invisible egg
I wonder if she was like that dude from the edible chemistry set, all white coaty and wispy haired yelling eureka!
By pleading guilty to terrorism this week, David Hicks has plastered egg all over the faces of his supporters - the naive hysterics who believe he is a tortured innocent as well as those glory-seeking civil rights lawyers who have attached themselves to his case.
The egg was coming, anyway, as the prosecution finally had an opportunity to lay out its allegations before the United States military commission in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
But even as they wiped the yolk from their surprised brows yesterday, apologists for the 31-year-old Muslim convert, aka Mohammed Dawood, had found another way to spin this piece of bad news to their advantage.
Hooray! says Miranda. 'See,' she shrieks. 'He's 100% pure unadulterated guilty because he admitted it!'
'Therefore everything anybody every said about him not being charged under a fair legal system, not having rights, not actually being guilty of a crime when he committed said crime [training with a terror group], all of that, means egg on the left'.
Nup, can't see any egg. Hicks pleading guilty in a mannifestly unfair system in order to pragmatically make his life easier and that closer to coming home egg does not cast. Unless you're a right wing Captain Insano.
Miranda is particularly fond of not having to see Hick's ugly face in intelligentsia cafes and so forth, or those nasty evil mean horrid Get Up people forcing people to think about the ill treatment of a dodgy human being.
I particularly love how she casts those who thought he got a raw deal, and obviously almost all of us still think that way despite his guilty plea ('David, sign this and you can be home and out in a couple of years. Fight us and it's another three years minimum to fight us and if we win, and we will win, 20 years if not longer. Oh and to reinforce it, we're sacking 2/3 of your legal representation. Why? Because we can. We will also use information gained by hearsay and under duress of both yourself and those others we arrested. Why? Because we can. We will get you. Your only chance is to sign. So sign'), as mere Hicks lovers who thought he was an innocent abroad.
I never thought he was an "innocent abroad" - despite his Defence team's statements to the contray. And you don't need Miranda Devine's bizarre line on 'inconvenient facts' which are anything but facts (not proven) but came from the US charge sheet and came from information likely gained under duress to prove that's the case. But what's more fucked is railroading someone under an unfair process, throwing them in a hole with the lights on for five years (apparently forcing him to go the Charles Manson haircut so he could drape it across his eyes to block out the light) removed from basic legal norms of protection and basic norms of treatment. As many have said people stand up for even grotesque thugs if they're being fucked on. Because it's just a few steps for the rest of us to be fucked on if we let that slide. Which is why people like the ACLU exist and who defend not only people who want to bong on for Jesus, but the KKK and Rush Limbaugh.
Politicians do not like losing power. And if they can create societal conditions where they retain power some will do it, even at the expense of social cohesiveness. For some politicians it means a culture of fear and hatred. Which is what has happened in this country. Hicks may well be a despicable person. I think anyone that trains as a non state actor to commit violence clearly has issues, be they a member of a nationalistic resistance group and Islamic, or be they a fucked in the head hill billy in the Michigan militia.
But what happened to him was a crime against us all. Against all Australians. Because it shows just exactly what arse-hats are willing to do, in order to create 'the times that will suit them'.
And you have to give it to Howard and co, they've done their absolute fucking best to do just that*.
As for Miranda Devine, I bet she's wondering why she has to put up with Fairfax and why News Ltd hasn't beaten a path to her door. Unless Fairfax are paying her more to keep her on in an effort to balance out the dangerous fact based logical reasoning types that seem to read their stuff.
*I do feel sorry for John Howard in one respect. That he doesn't have a propaganda arm as big as his texan buddies in the states to spread his message with. All Howard's got is News Limited.
By pleading guilty to terrorism this week, David Hicks has plastered egg all over the faces of his supporters - the naive hysterics who believe he is a tortured innocent as well as those glory-seeking civil rights lawyers who have attached themselves to his case.
The egg was coming, anyway, as the prosecution finally had an opportunity to lay out its allegations before the United States military commission in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
But even as they wiped the yolk from their surprised brows yesterday, apologists for the 31-year-old Muslim convert, aka Mohammed Dawood, had found another way to spin this piece of bad news to their advantage.
Hooray! says Miranda. 'See,' she shrieks. 'He's 100% pure unadulterated guilty because he admitted it!'
'Therefore everything anybody every said about him not being charged under a fair legal system, not having rights, not actually being guilty of a crime when he committed said crime [training with a terror group], all of that, means egg on the left'.
Nup, can't see any egg. Hicks pleading guilty in a mannifestly unfair system in order to pragmatically make his life easier and that closer to coming home egg does not cast. Unless you're a right wing Captain Insano.
Miranda is particularly fond of not having to see Hick's ugly face in intelligentsia cafes and so forth, or those nasty evil mean horrid Get Up people forcing people to think about the ill treatment of a dodgy human being.
I particularly love how she casts those who thought he got a raw deal, and obviously almost all of us still think that way despite his guilty plea ('David, sign this and you can be home and out in a couple of years. Fight us and it's another three years minimum to fight us and if we win, and we will win, 20 years if not longer. Oh and to reinforce it, we're sacking 2/3 of your legal representation. Why? Because we can. We will also use information gained by hearsay and under duress of both yourself and those others we arrested. Why? Because we can. We will get you. Your only chance is to sign. So sign'), as mere Hicks lovers who thought he was an innocent abroad.
I never thought he was an "innocent abroad" - despite his Defence team's statements to the contray. And you don't need Miranda Devine's bizarre line on 'inconvenient facts' which are anything but facts (not proven) but came from the US charge sheet and came from information likely gained under duress to prove that's the case. But what's more fucked is railroading someone under an unfair process, throwing them in a hole with the lights on for five years (apparently forcing him to go the Charles Manson haircut so he could drape it across his eyes to block out the light) removed from basic legal norms of protection and basic norms of treatment. As many have said people stand up for even grotesque thugs if they're being fucked on. Because it's just a few steps for the rest of us to be fucked on if we let that slide. Which is why people like the ACLU exist and who defend not only people who want to bong on for Jesus, but the KKK and Rush Limbaugh.
Politicians do not like losing power. And if they can create societal conditions where they retain power some will do it, even at the expense of social cohesiveness. For some politicians it means a culture of fear and hatred. Which is what has happened in this country. Hicks may well be a despicable person. I think anyone that trains as a non state actor to commit violence clearly has issues, be they a member of a nationalistic resistance group and Islamic, or be they a fucked in the head hill billy in the Michigan militia.
But what happened to him was a crime against us all. Against all Australians. Because it shows just exactly what arse-hats are willing to do, in order to create 'the times that will suit them'.
And you have to give it to Howard and co, they've done their absolute fucking best to do just that*.
As for Miranda Devine, I bet she's wondering why she has to put up with Fairfax and why News Ltd hasn't beaten a path to her door. Unless Fairfax are paying her more to keep her on in an effort to balance out the dangerous fact based logical reasoning types that seem to read their stuff.
*I do feel sorry for John Howard in one respect. That he doesn't have a propaganda arm as big as his texan buddies in the states to spread his message with. All Howard's got is News Limited.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon meets wiki
On the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon wiki, in the discussion it mentioned a new wiki based challenge where the aim was to get from Kevin Bacon's wiki to a chosen subject in as few a clicks as possible.
I have chosen Castles.
Here we go.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Footloose [Thinking it might mention upright priests then to clerics then to castles?]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language [Probably cheating since I just clicked on the word English in the Footloose side bar for what lang the film was in].
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language#History [Thinking history might help]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland [Scotland's full of fucking castles!]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland_in_the_Late_Middle_Ages [No mention, had to drill deeper]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edinburgh_Castle [Ho, ho ho, what's this? How's it going, are you flowing?]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle [Did it!]
That was prob an easy one. Okay - challenges for anyone bored.
Go from
Kevin Bacon to
Dungeons and Dragons
The War on Terror
John Howard
Santo Santoro
Mr Ed the talking horse
Ronald Regan
Spiders
The game is afoot!
I have chosen Castles.
Here we go.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Footloose [Thinking it might mention upright priests then to clerics then to castles?]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language [Probably cheating since I just clicked on the word English in the Footloose side bar for what lang the film was in].
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language#History [Thinking history might help]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland [Scotland's full of fucking castles!]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland_in_the_Late_Middle_Ages [No mention, had to drill deeper]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edinburgh_Castle [Ho, ho ho, what's this? How's it going, are you flowing?]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle [Did it!]
That was prob an easy one. Okay - challenges for anyone bored.
Go from
Kevin Bacon to
Dungeons and Dragons
The War on Terror
John Howard
Santo Santoro
Mr Ed the talking horse
Ronald Regan
Spiders
The game is afoot!
Ralph sticker message undermined by choice of vehicle to be depicted on
HM's Car Park; Ralph magazine, the wank-mag for me too scared to buy penthouse, has released a number of stickers to promote the publication in a humorous fashion.
The sticker, featuring the profile silhouette of a reclining Charlie's Angels esq woman, is emblazoned with the words 'Rooting for Australia' along with the name of the periodical - the phrase a delightful double entendre where an innocent viewer would merely suspect it showed unquestioned support for the country, but where a wiser, more humorous fellow would assume there was a coded message that the owner of said sticker enjoyed placing his member in the complimentary hole of a lady friend.
'It really is terrifically funny,' said HM of the sticker.
The trouble was the choice of vehicle used to promote this 'Lads agenda' undercut the brand due to its un lad like nature.
'It was a silver Mazda 2,' said HM of the car. 'Which is not particularly masculine. There’s only certain types of lad wagons that can successfully carry off a sticker of such sexual power that were it a singer it would be led off the stage tired, a cloak or towel draped across its tired shoulders but, as it reached the wings, it would throw off its textile shackles and power back to the mike for another sixty eight sets.’
Left: An example of the offending unmanly vehicle which let the Ralph side down.
‘A mazda 2 is not one of them.’
HM suggested the owner might like to re-affirm his love of sexual intercourse with the ladies in a less Ralph like manner. Perhaps ‘Ahem, can I have some of your crumpet?’ which instantly brings up mental images of vicars, nice cups of tea, and a brutally loud laugh track that makes ‘Are You Being Served’ sound like a meeting of two mimes.
‘The Mazda 2 is the English cloth cap of the car world,’ said HM, despite the Mazda’s Japanese origins. ‘It cannot pull off a Ralph bumper stickering.’
Of being abused by fuckwits in cars for his portly girth, which happens on occasion (and ironically also on the internet by e-fuckwits who have never seen him in person), HM said he looked forward to the day when such abuse was delivered from a nice genteel looking vehicle like the Mazda.
‘I’d expect I’d hear a cheery toot from its horn and, as I turned to look around, through the wound down window, accompanied by a loud guffaw of the driver and his well dressed fellow passengers, would come a polite “I say old chap, you’re quite the heavyset pair of vulvic entry girdles”,’ said HM.
The sticker, featuring the profile silhouette of a reclining Charlie's Angels esq woman, is emblazoned with the words 'Rooting for Australia' along with the name of the periodical - the phrase a delightful double entendre where an innocent viewer would merely suspect it showed unquestioned support for the country, but where a wiser, more humorous fellow would assume there was a coded message that the owner of said sticker enjoyed placing his member in the complimentary hole of a lady friend.
'It really is terrifically funny,' said HM of the sticker.
The trouble was the choice of vehicle used to promote this 'Lads agenda' undercut the brand due to its un lad like nature.
'It was a silver Mazda 2,' said HM of the car. 'Which is not particularly masculine. There’s only certain types of lad wagons that can successfully carry off a sticker of such sexual power that were it a singer it would be led off the stage tired, a cloak or towel draped across its tired shoulders but, as it reached the wings, it would throw off its textile shackles and power back to the mike for another sixty eight sets.’
Left: An example of the offending unmanly vehicle which let the Ralph side down.‘A mazda 2 is not one of them.’
HM suggested the owner might like to re-affirm his love of sexual intercourse with the ladies in a less Ralph like manner. Perhaps ‘Ahem, can I have some of your crumpet?’ which instantly brings up mental images of vicars, nice cups of tea, and a brutally loud laugh track that makes ‘Are You Being Served’ sound like a meeting of two mimes.
‘The Mazda 2 is the English cloth cap of the car world,’ said HM, despite the Mazda’s Japanese origins. ‘It cannot pull off a Ralph bumper stickering.’
Of being abused by fuckwits in cars for his portly girth, which happens on occasion (and ironically also on the internet by e-fuckwits who have never seen him in person), HM said he looked forward to the day when such abuse was delivered from a nice genteel looking vehicle like the Mazda.
‘I’d expect I’d hear a cheery toot from its horn and, as I turned to look around, through the wound down window, accompanied by a loud guffaw of the driver and his well dressed fellow passengers, would come a polite “I say old chap, you’re quite the heavyset pair of vulvic entry girdles”,’ said HM.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Manimal
’cause I want to live like just like manimalCareless and free like manimal
I want to live
I want to be able to turn
Into a panther or a bird in the air
(just like manimal - oooo)
Question. How the fuck did an annual get made if it got cancelled after eight episodes?
Pot, Kettle, Black
Gerard 'former Chief of Staff to John Howard' Henderson was in the SMH today declaring WorkChoices rawked and that 'bend the workers over a table and fuck them in the arse' had nothing to do with the dismal showing in the state election of his beloved Liberal party.
See the comments here
I found this bit of interest.
'Iemma has degrees in economics and law, but he is essentially a political apparatchik. He is a member of the NSW Labor right-wing machine and has a background as a union official and political staffer (to the one-time ALP heavyweight Graham Richardson).'
Yep, Iemma is an apparatchik. See how that sounds like a commie?
So Hendo, as Chief of Staff to John Howard you were ... ?
Yep. It's Pot Kettle Black time at Ranch Hendo where you won't pay for any disclosures of personal interest when slagging off an opponent for having been exactly what you were. And, actually, are, only disguising yourself in the garb of an "Institute" instead of the Technocolour Dreamcoat as a paid up member of the Liberal Party Right Wing Columnist Cabal that alas infects the print media of this country.
But Gerard Henderson never lets facts get in the way of anything. For example ...
'There is little doubt the campaign against Work Choices, run by the ACTU with the support of Labor, has been successful. This is despite the fact that over the past year about 250,000 jobs were created, real wages increased and industrial disputes were at their lowest levels since records were introduced just before World War I.'
Got any proof that was Work Choices Hendo? Of course not. No facts. Pure supposition. Maybe that resource boom had something to fucking do with it? Of course we won't know since your beloved Howard government, a man you used to work for when you were an apparatchik won't release the figures one year on under the bizarre grounds that 'they may be misinterpreted'.
Yep, they may be. But it seems as long as you can spin 'Economy good ERGO all Work Choices' without having to pony up facts I guess that's fine by you.
See the comments here
I found this bit of interest.
'Iemma has degrees in economics and law, but he is essentially a political apparatchik. He is a member of the NSW Labor right-wing machine and has a background as a union official and political staffer (to the one-time ALP heavyweight Graham Richardson).'
Yep, Iemma is an apparatchik. See how that sounds like a commie?
So Hendo, as Chief of Staff to John Howard you were ... ?
Yep. It's Pot Kettle Black time at Ranch Hendo where you won't pay for any disclosures of personal interest when slagging off an opponent for having been exactly what you were. And, actually, are, only disguising yourself in the garb of an "Institute" instead of the Technocolour Dreamcoat as a paid up member of the Liberal Party Right Wing Columnist Cabal that alas infects the print media of this country.
But Gerard Henderson never lets facts get in the way of anything. For example ...
'There is little doubt the campaign against Work Choices, run by the ACTU with the support of Labor, has been successful. This is despite the fact that over the past year about 250,000 jobs were created, real wages increased and industrial disputes were at their lowest levels since records were introduced just before World War I.'
Got any proof that was Work Choices Hendo? Of course not. No facts. Pure supposition. Maybe that resource boom had something to fucking do with it? Of course we won't know since your beloved Howard government, a man you used to work for when you were an apparatchik won't release the figures one year on under the bizarre grounds that 'they may be misinterpreted'.
Yep, they may be. But it seems as long as you can spin 'Economy good ERGO all Work Choices' without having to pony up facts I guess that's fine by you.
Hicks cops guilty ... but it doesn't make him guilty
This is not to say stuff he's done hasn't been bad. This is to say however when he did it - not a crime. The fanciful notion put forward by the Colonel "my opponent lawyer is saying mean stuff about the president and Mr Howard" prosecutor was that 'material support to terrorism' existed on the books since 1994 - the Oklahoma bombing.
Yes, he's right. It did exist. In a completely different book. A book concerning American citizens. Not say foreigners bought for $1,000 from bounty hunters and kidnapped under the Patriot act (as opposed to being taken on a battlefield and POW provisions like some think happened).
So Hicks has copped guilty. And tomorrow we'll know why when he is sentenced (I believe). As more than one person has pointed out he's copped guilty because the plea bargain he will have gotten will offer him the chance to come home, either as a semi-free man (control orders) or to serve out his time in an Oz jail (slightly better conditions that 'let's shove a stick up his arse' gitmo). Even though the legal proceedings that are jailing him are immoral and questionable in law.
I think Gam says it best - who said it before Hicks copped guilty.
'he'll cop a plea, that's the whole point of 5 years of constant torture. they don't have anything approaching real evidence or a legal court. the only option is to shove glo-sticks up his ass until he begs to be found guilty of something so the torture stops. welcome to justice, comrades.'
Got it in one. I feel sorry for those that follow Hicks through this process since a precedent has now been set because of the guilty plea. But Hicks has got to look after himself first and foremost.
It's just a shame he didn't have a government willing to do it for him.
And kudos to Major Mori - the only shining light in the entire US process, a man whose career has clearly been imperilled given the sad fuck whining from the prosecutor - who is not afraid to publicly press the concept that Gitmo is fuck off fantastic (along with the CO who declared Gitmo was home "to the worst of the worst" - despite the fact nearly half those interred were quietly released), but has a sooky wah wah when the Defence attorney points out how clearly it's not.
Good luck to the rest of the inmates in dealing with this system. I just hope the pressure on the US doesn't ease off when the only white man leaves the jail.
Anyway, see the SMH article here
UPDATE - the view from GetUp as per today's Crikey
Yes, he's right. It did exist. In a completely different book. A book concerning American citizens. Not say foreigners bought for $1,000 from bounty hunters and kidnapped under the Patriot act (as opposed to being taken on a battlefield and POW provisions like some think happened).
So Hicks has copped guilty. And tomorrow we'll know why when he is sentenced (I believe). As more than one person has pointed out he's copped guilty because the plea bargain he will have gotten will offer him the chance to come home, either as a semi-free man (control orders) or to serve out his time in an Oz jail (slightly better conditions that 'let's shove a stick up his arse' gitmo). Even though the legal proceedings that are jailing him are immoral and questionable in law.
I think Gam says it best - who said it before Hicks copped guilty.
'he'll cop a plea, that's the whole point of 5 years of constant torture. they don't have anything approaching real evidence or a legal court. the only option is to shove glo-sticks up his ass until he begs to be found guilty of something so the torture stops. welcome to justice, comrades.'
Got it in one. I feel sorry for those that follow Hicks through this process since a precedent has now been set because of the guilty plea. But Hicks has got to look after himself first and foremost.
It's just a shame he didn't have a government willing to do it for him.
And kudos to Major Mori - the only shining light in the entire US process, a man whose career has clearly been imperilled given the sad fuck whining from the prosecutor - who is not afraid to publicly press the concept that Gitmo is fuck off fantastic (along with the CO who declared Gitmo was home "to the worst of the worst" - despite the fact nearly half those interred were quietly released), but has a sooky wah wah when the Defence attorney points out how clearly it's not.
Good luck to the rest of the inmates in dealing with this system. I just hope the pressure on the US doesn't ease off when the only white man leaves the jail.
Anyway, see the SMH article here
UPDATE - the view from GetUp as per today's Crikey
This morning came the news that David Hicks has pleaded guilty. We should not be surprised.
After the legal drama in his initial hearing today, David Hicks surely would have reflected on the fact that years after his initial plea of innocence, he was still locked in a cell 1.8m². Any normal Australian, facing a system weighted so heavily against them and broken by five years of unimaginable privation, is likely to have signed a document that would get them out of Guantanamo – regardless of their guilt or innocence.
David Hicks’ guilty plea is not justice served, nor does it necessarily reflect Hicks’ guilt – it is simply further evidence of a rank system, and Australians can smell it from afar.
Almost every eminent jurist and legal body in the country has condemned a tribunal that has more in common with a circus than justice. Australian and international jurists agree this system was designed to guarantee convictions. It should come as no surprise, then, that it has. It reflects a system that is no more than justice on the make – offending basic legal principles of independence and impartiality.
This is evidenced by the shenanigans at today’s arraignment. Hicks’ civilian lawyer was dismissed as he refused to sign a document that compromised his own ethical standards. It would also be highly unusual in any normal court for a counsel to question the presiding judge over their impartiality – as Major Mori had to, concerning Judge Kohlmann’s rulings.
This is what happens in a flawed system where the tribunal, the "jury", the chief prosecutor, the charges and the plea agreements are determined by the executive branch of government – the same Administration with so much invested in Hicks’ conviction.
The Federal Government should not think today’s guilty plea lets them off the hook. They have diminished Australia by legitimising an unfair system by allowing an Australian -- guilty or innocent -- to languish in detention for five years, only to face a severely compromised legal process.
When John Howard sifts through his mail this weekend he’ll find over 10,000 GetUp! postcards from residents of his own electorate angry at his disregard for basic Australian rights -- a sentiment they are likely to carry with them to the ballot box later this year.
The key question now is: will David Hicks be home by then and, of equal importance, under what conditions?
Monday, March 26, 2007
TrannieChat
Thewife's been off sick with a strep throat. She finds it comfortable to talk lower than normal. Trouble is she sounds like a trannie. I feel like I am talking with the other end of a low rent sex line.
Not that I am judging trannies for being trannies. Trannie away my sexually ambiguous brethren. It's just that I'd have no interest talking to you at $4.95 a minute.
Not that I am judging trannies for being trannies. Trannie away my sexually ambiguous brethren. It's just that I'd have no interest talking to you at $4.95 a minute.
Hicks count down
Well he gets the official arraignment today. Should be interesting. When we awake on the morrow we will see just how fucked on by this 'hang 'em out to dry' government he has been.
I wish him and his legal team luck.
And if he cops a plea I hope it's a better deal than that Lindh guy got.
See the SMH article here
I wish him and his legal team luck.
And if he cops a plea I hope it's a better deal than that Lindh guy got.
See the SMH article here
Strategic Harm Minimisation II
This article explains how hyping the "War on Terror" is incredibly counter productive for society as a whole - as opposed to right wing cock-knuckles that run around beating the bushes for Bin Ladenites - not to mention the battle to retard politically motivated violence. It's well worth a read.
The "war on terror" has created a culture of fear in America. The Bush administration's elevation of these three words into a national mantra since the horrific events of 9/11 has had a pernicious impact on American democracy, on America's psyche and on U.S. standing in the world. Using this phrase has actually undermined our ability to effectively confront the real challenges we face from fanatics who may use terrorism against us.
Read the rest here.
WARNING: Applies logic and deductive reasoning. If you're more of a 'News Limited tells me what I need to know and it's bloviating pelvis spread types will not challenge my moronic prejudices' you're probably better off buying a Zoo mag and reading that. Do people read Zoo*? Inquiring minds want to know.
*Probably in the wank afterglow following said event but before the cleaning up afterwards.
The "war on terror" has created a culture of fear in America. The Bush administration's elevation of these three words into a national mantra since the horrific events of 9/11 has had a pernicious impact on American democracy, on America's psyche and on U.S. standing in the world. Using this phrase has actually undermined our ability to effectively confront the real challenges we face from fanatics who may use terrorism against us.
Read the rest here.
WARNING: Applies logic and deductive reasoning. If you're more of a 'News Limited tells me what I need to know and it's bloviating pelvis spread types will not challenge my moronic prejudices' you're probably better off buying a Zoo mag and reading that. Do people read Zoo*? Inquiring minds want to know.
*Probably in the wank afterglow following said event but before the cleaning up afterwards.
Quote of the day (for today)
"I like to think that there is more on heaven and earth, I have had some weird things happen that logic can't explain. I am usually a very black and white person, but there's a whole lot of grey when it comes to death. I just know that if I go before I'm good and ready I will be pissed off and someone will pay."
The last line deserves a line of merchandising.
The last line deserves a line of merchandising.
Strategic Harm Minimisation
AKA: Pointing out the obvious to capering cockheads.
You'd think my recent post expressing my unconditional sadness and revulsion at the alleged use of children in a car bombing was pretty unequivocal. But I suppose if you’re a Captain Insano you could interpret it really as a coded message along the lines of ‘Jihadists are great, and I cannot wait until the uber Caliphate the great satan Cheney mention happens – all praise Allah’.
Yeah I know, amazing. But that’s me and my logic getting in the way of things.
I think it’s because I dared to say something along the lines of ‘external factors influence people’s decision to commit murder’.
It doesn’t make it right. It does however explain why they do it. And I believe enables us to address why they do it in the first place and therefore prevent terroristic violence.
Strategic Harm Minimisation is recognising that there are fuckwits out there willing to kill to make a point. And the job of every government on the planet is to do things to ensure the number of fuckwits that are willing to do that is at a minimum. This is through a combination of law enforcement (solving the crime), intelligence (preventing it), and engagement with the community (dis-encouraging people to even consider doing it). The role of government is therefore to minimise harm from such fuckwits.
So for example if I happen to say that the current situation in Gaza is such that recruitment into violent insurrection groups, resistance groups, or plain whackos is exacerbated by the conditions in which potential recruits exist does not in any way make me condone terrorism. Only a fucking moron would think that.
Violent death of anyone is a tragedy. Some people will try and moralise it away, but it’s always wrong – though admittedly there are degrees of wrong (for example a soldier killing another soldier in war is obviously less wrong than strapping two kids into a car and use them to get past a check point then blow them up; a policeman killing a criminal to prevent another death likewise not as wrong).
We fail when people die through violence. We fail as human beings. But we fail more as human beings if we do not examine the reasons why some people choose to take that path and we fail if we do not point out stupid things people do that make things worse, and address them to prevent future occurrences. For example invading another country with no plan to garrison it properly. Or for example cramming millions into a few square miles, ensuring they have no industries or employment worth mentioning, shoot at them, steal their land and refuse to give it back, and so on and so on.
Human beings have great capacity for good and for evil. But treat a man like an animal and an animal they become.
Strategic Harm Minimisation is about looking at why people or groups act the way they do and address the circumstances by which their genesis is possible. Applying some demented ‘shoot them all and let God sort them out’ or 'get on the ground mutha fucka' is not a solution. It exacerbates the problem. As was evident in Iraq or the occupied territories in Palestine.
There will always be people willing to murder to advance their standing either as a people or for personal profit. The job of government is to reduce their numbers and to take away the motivations that lead people to think murder is the correct solution to their woes.
Prevention is always better than the cure. And prevention is part of harm minimisation – convincing those that seek to inflict harm they’re wrong to do so, and making sure there isn't a cheer squad cheering them on.
And yes, occasionally it means talking and negotiating to the communities from which those groups sprang. It means on occasion addressing the wrongs that cause some people to seek out violence as an option. Addressing the reasons why those seek to commit terror drains the pool in which guerrilla fish swim. Or insurrectionist fish. Or even little Bin Laden goldfish. It worked in Ireland, it worked in Malaysia (a combo of hearts and minds and counter insurgency), it worked in Basque Spain.
It does not make someone a terrorist lover to point out that looking at motivations of issue motivated groups can reduce community support to those groups. It makes them sensible.
But like I said, there I go with my logical based reasoning.
Killing people is always wrong. The trick it to make it so people don’t ever think it is isn’t.
By the way, this is not to say talking/addressing community concerns is the only thing that can be done. That’s bullshit. It’s carrot and the stick. The stick is law enforcement and intelligence to detect/prevent. But if it’s all stick, and no carrot it can just make it worse. The only countries in the world that fully succeeded in stick only have in the past been totalitarian states.
And there will always be a small segment of people that revel in violence or seek it out as a first response. Especially if they come from a culture where violence is celebrated, seen as heroic, if there is a high youth bubble, if there are few sustainable jobs, and if they come from a culture that is oppressed either hard or soft, or where they are treated as second class citizens. We see it in PNG, we see it in East Timor, we see it in Wadeye, we see it in Palestine, we see it in much of Africa. We see it in the Middle East.
However if we as a world can address some of those issues, it means less dickheads taking up arms or strapping children to bombs and driving them past a checkpoint to blow people up.
And only a fucking moron would think otherwise.
You'd think my recent post expressing my unconditional sadness and revulsion at the alleged use of children in a car bombing was pretty unequivocal. But I suppose if you’re a Captain Insano you could interpret it really as a coded message along the lines of ‘Jihadists are great, and I cannot wait until the uber Caliphate the great satan Cheney mention happens – all praise Allah’.
Yeah I know, amazing. But that’s me and my logic getting in the way of things.
I think it’s because I dared to say something along the lines of ‘external factors influence people’s decision to commit murder’.
It doesn’t make it right. It does however explain why they do it. And I believe enables us to address why they do it in the first place and therefore prevent terroristic violence.
Strategic Harm Minimisation is recognising that there are fuckwits out there willing to kill to make a point. And the job of every government on the planet is to do things to ensure the number of fuckwits that are willing to do that is at a minimum. This is through a combination of law enforcement (solving the crime), intelligence (preventing it), and engagement with the community (dis-encouraging people to even consider doing it). The role of government is therefore to minimise harm from such fuckwits.
So for example if I happen to say that the current situation in Gaza is such that recruitment into violent insurrection groups, resistance groups, or plain whackos is exacerbated by the conditions in which potential recruits exist does not in any way make me condone terrorism. Only a fucking moron would think that.
Violent death of anyone is a tragedy. Some people will try and moralise it away, but it’s always wrong – though admittedly there are degrees of wrong (for example a soldier killing another soldier in war is obviously less wrong than strapping two kids into a car and use them to get past a check point then blow them up; a policeman killing a criminal to prevent another death likewise not as wrong).
We fail when people die through violence. We fail as human beings. But we fail more as human beings if we do not examine the reasons why some people choose to take that path and we fail if we do not point out stupid things people do that make things worse, and address them to prevent future occurrences. For example invading another country with no plan to garrison it properly. Or for example cramming millions into a few square miles, ensuring they have no industries or employment worth mentioning, shoot at them, steal their land and refuse to give it back, and so on and so on.
Human beings have great capacity for good and for evil. But treat a man like an animal and an animal they become.
Strategic Harm Minimisation is about looking at why people or groups act the way they do and address the circumstances by which their genesis is possible. Applying some demented ‘shoot them all and let God sort them out’ or 'get on the ground mutha fucka' is not a solution. It exacerbates the problem. As was evident in Iraq or the occupied territories in Palestine.
There will always be people willing to murder to advance their standing either as a people or for personal profit. The job of government is to reduce their numbers and to take away the motivations that lead people to think murder is the correct solution to their woes.
Prevention is always better than the cure. And prevention is part of harm minimisation – convincing those that seek to inflict harm they’re wrong to do so, and making sure there isn't a cheer squad cheering them on.
And yes, occasionally it means talking and negotiating to the communities from which those groups sprang. It means on occasion addressing the wrongs that cause some people to seek out violence as an option. Addressing the reasons why those seek to commit terror drains the pool in which guerrilla fish swim. Or insurrectionist fish. Or even little Bin Laden goldfish. It worked in Ireland, it worked in Malaysia (a combo of hearts and minds and counter insurgency), it worked in Basque Spain.
It does not make someone a terrorist lover to point out that looking at motivations of issue motivated groups can reduce community support to those groups. It makes them sensible.
But like I said, there I go with my logical based reasoning.
Killing people is always wrong. The trick it to make it so people don’t ever think it is isn’t.
By the way, this is not to say talking/addressing community concerns is the only thing that can be done. That’s bullshit. It’s carrot and the stick. The stick is law enforcement and intelligence to detect/prevent. But if it’s all stick, and no carrot it can just make it worse. The only countries in the world that fully succeeded in stick only have in the past been totalitarian states.
And there will always be a small segment of people that revel in violence or seek it out as a first response. Especially if they come from a culture where violence is celebrated, seen as heroic, if there is a high youth bubble, if there are few sustainable jobs, and if they come from a culture that is oppressed either hard or soft, or where they are treated as second class citizens. We see it in PNG, we see it in East Timor, we see it in Wadeye, we see it in Palestine, we see it in much of Africa. We see it in the Middle East.
However if we as a world can address some of those issues, it means less dickheads taking up arms or strapping children to bombs and driving them past a checkpoint to blow people up.
And only a fucking moron would think otherwise.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
'It was state issues!' ... not
Mr Iemma said his election win shows industrial relations will be a key issue in the coming federal election.
"In this election there was a stark choice between a Labor government, the last line of defence, that we'll stand up to John Howard on industrial relations, and Mr Debnam who would let him come in, hand over the industrial relations powers to Canberra," he told the Seven Network.
"There is a clear message to Canberra and they will ignore it at their peril."
But Mr Howard rejected the claims and said he believed the election was fought on state issues and was not influenced by industrial relations.
From the SMH here
In a word, bullshit. It was not on state issues. It was on federal issues. The reason being that no offence to my ALP brothers in NSW they have made a lot of mistakes. Fuck me they left 10,000 commuters on a fucking train less than a week ago for the best part of a night. Toll woes, timetable woes, all of that business. Death knell stuff for state parties. If you can't get services right then the punters boot you. Yes the state ALP had a comfie buffer but fact is they lost *2* seats out of 55. Two seats. One, two.
I
f, if the state ALP was so on the nose - and it is - then why didn't they get creamed. Well it helps having Captain Dick Sticker out and about. No offense to Debbie, charisma he don't have. Actually that's prob wrong. He prob is a nice person and speaks well. But the media hate him so bad luck Debbie. They also said a lot about 'let's fix NSW' but not much said on how. Their policies were blown out the back door with 10 billion needed Vs 1/3 of that for the ALP.
But by and large it was Industrial relations. The people can't punish Howard yet but they are waiting to. And Debbie is in the way. He's like an innocent bystander in a postal massacre where the hated boss (Howard) has run to his office and the assistant sub manager who never did anyone any harm just happened to step in front of the gun.
Howard did not take his hated fucked up fuck people in the arse laws to the people. Not one mention during the 2004 election was made of the severe changes he made that allowed bosses to sack people unfairly and pressure them into fucked up no penalty rate contracts.
And we will have our say and it will be good.
Friday, March 23, 2007
No! Don't make us confront reality!
THE powerful Sydney Anglican diocese has intervened in the state election campaign, suggesting a vote for the Greens could force schools and religious organisations to employ gays and lesbian teachers in contradiction of their Christian ethics.
See SMH here.
No!!! That's terrible (flops hand). We don't want that (holds hands to face in suggestively gay manner). The church should not be forced to become home to men who like to wear dresses and live with other men and not take a partner of the opposite sex and use candles and incense and ... and ... oh*.
"Out, out damn gay!"
*Obviously this is more applicable to Catholocism but hey they're just as homophobic - ironic considering just how homoerotic the priestly lifestyle is.
See SMH here.
No!!! That's terrible (flops hand). We don't want that (holds hands to face in suggestively gay manner). The church should not be forced to become home to men who like to wear dresses and live with other men and not take a partner of the opposite sex and use candles and incense and ... and ... oh*.
"Out, out damn gay!"*Obviously this is more applicable to Catholocism but hey they're just as homophobic - ironic considering just how homoerotic the priestly lifestyle is.
Mr Gore goes to Washington
Mr Gore was clearly on top of his subject. When one Republican suggested that the science on global warming was "uneven and evolving", and that the measures for curbing carbon emissions advocated in Mr Gore's award-winning film An Inconvenient Truth "provide little benefit at huge cost", Mr Gore paused and looked puzzled. He could not understand how anyone could still hold such views.
"The planet has a fever," he said. You could hear murmurs of support from the crowded room. "If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says 'You have to intervene here', you don't say, 'well I read a science fiction novel that says it isn't important'."
Burn...
See the SMH article here.
By Science Fiction I assume he's referring to Michael Crichton's State of Fear which I believe is the central plank of Andrew Bolt's belief that Global Warming is Voodoo science. Actually I think it's the central plank of most of Bolt's beliefs since the topics/themes of Crichton books seem to mirror Nuts'N'Gum's views on many issues.
Gun toting I can understand, but the choice of vehicle?!
A gang of gun-toting teens in a Volvo were allegedly carrying a shotgun, a samurai sword and a dagger while terrorising motorists on a freeway in Sydney's south, police say. (See SMH article here)
A volvo? Not exactly the gang bangers' vehicle of choice? You never see a low riding Volvo with doosh doosh music coming out of it? What were they playing ABBA? Were they wearing the spangly moonboots? Inquiring minds want to know.
A volvo? Not exactly the gang bangers' vehicle of choice? You never see a low riding Volvo with doosh doosh music coming out of it? What were they playing ABBA? Were they wearing the spangly moonboots? Inquiring minds want to know.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Jones is a Parrot! Jones is a Parrot!
Turner and Crofts also analysed the way Jones used rhetorical devices, such as repetition of key emotive phrases, in ways normally associated with advertising or propaganda.
They found that where Neil Mitchell's program was driven by a journalistic news agenda, the Jones program, with its "highly organised forms of repetition and multiple topic strands running across the day's show and beyond, evokes the braided plot structure - and even the melodrama - of soap opera".
The two researchers saw this exemplified in Jones' role in the Cronulla riots at the end of 2005, which was criticised by police and on ABC's Media Watch for potentially inflaming an already tense situation.
Turner and Crofts found Jones' comments about the unrest at Cronulla between youths of Lebanese descent and the so called `bra boys' (from Maroubra) were invoked like a mantra so often that callers to his program began repeating them back to him.
See the Age article here
They found that where Neil Mitchell's program was driven by a journalistic news agenda, the Jones program, with its "highly organised forms of repetition and multiple topic strands running across the day's show and beyond, evokes the braided plot structure - and even the melodrama - of soap opera".
The two researchers saw this exemplified in Jones' role in the Cronulla riots at the end of 2005, which was criticised by police and on ABC's Media Watch for potentially inflaming an already tense situation.
Turner and Crofts found Jones' comments about the unrest at Cronulla between youths of Lebanese descent and the so called `bra boys' (from Maroubra) were invoked like a mantra so often that callers to his program began repeating them back to him.
See the Age article here
He's right (mostly)
Howard spent the 4th anniversary of his mouth to anus like backing of Bush in Iraq talking about how timetables were dumb and that we shouldn't leave until the country can function.
Well, at the risk of having my leftie creds yanked, he's mostly right.
This does not in anyway excuse the monstrous fuckup up until this date. There would not be a problem at all if A) the invasion (which at the time I supported on WMD grounds and hell even regime change) had not occured or B) if it had, it had been properly planned as far as governance went.
What the Bush administration has done in Iraq is monstrous. They were always going to be able to wipe the floor with the Iraqi military. But garrisoning successfully in partnership as opposed to 19 year old fuckheads with no policing training kicking in doors and pointing guns at women in children was always the biggest challenge. Far bigger than the invasion. And the only place where US forces largely had succeeded was in the place where the current garrison commander was assigned at the start of the war. And his sensible approach was laughed out of the room by Donald "Standing Desk" Rumsfeld who had this incredible notion that it was not needed.
Unfortunately for everyone, the looting that occured in the aftermath (remember Cheney/Rummy saying it was the price of fucking freedom?) of the invasion meant vast stocks of money and munitions was stolen and socked away. It now reappears in the form of wages for sacked army types turned insurgents and IEDs blowing away hummers.
In short the fuck up is laid at the foot of Bush and co (and us, by extension because we - and we have experience at successful counter insurgency didn't do our part and point out what they were doing was fucked up. This happened in Vietnam as well).
Americans cannot do counter insurgency well because they rely on high end kit to do the talking for them, as opposed to well trained light infantry who are taught to talk first, not point guns and shoot, and most importantly know how to get the local hierachy onside.
Anyway, it's a massive fuckup. But unfortunately right wing cockholes - who got us into this mess - are right in the sense of 'well, it's broke now, what do we do?'
Well, the surge is good. And more of it needs to happen. And if it does not work then Iraq needs to be split into the cultural/tribal regions they were before the UK elected to create an artificial country and put the Sunni minority in charge as per following standard colonial occupier techniques.
Like or not we killed the country. And we have to put it right. It's not the same as Vietnam, where a nationalistic well trained communist group was coming in to take unified control. Leaving will cause widespread chaos that will make Somalia look like a walk in the park. Not to mention it is home to trillions of dollars in oil that us greedy fuckers in the west need.
The yanks are not going anywhere soon. And if they stay they have to be doing it properly. The surge is a good start. They need more of that. And, like I said, if that doesn't work then they should consider partition. Because while voluntary ethnic relocation is a horrible thing to have to endure, at the end of the day it will save lives. Leaving Iraq as is now will be leaving millions to potentially die.
And if the US and Iraq do manage to get a lid on it, maybe the two million professional iraqis that are needed to run the country - the doctors, dentists, lawyers, teachers, scientists, technicians - will come back.
It's a complete pile of shit. Shit caused by conservative fuckwads who had no proper plans to govern. But that don't make the shit stink less and walking away from it will make it stink more.
Anyway my 0.02.
Well, at the risk of having my leftie creds yanked, he's mostly right.
This does not in anyway excuse the monstrous fuckup up until this date. There would not be a problem at all if A) the invasion (which at the time I supported on WMD grounds and hell even regime change) had not occured or B) if it had, it had been properly planned as far as governance went.
What the Bush administration has done in Iraq is monstrous. They were always going to be able to wipe the floor with the Iraqi military. But garrisoning successfully in partnership as opposed to 19 year old fuckheads with no policing training kicking in doors and pointing guns at women in children was always the biggest challenge. Far bigger than the invasion. And the only place where US forces largely had succeeded was in the place where the current garrison commander was assigned at the start of the war. And his sensible approach was laughed out of the room by Donald "Standing Desk" Rumsfeld who had this incredible notion that it was not needed.
Unfortunately for everyone, the looting that occured in the aftermath (remember Cheney/Rummy saying it was the price of fucking freedom?) of the invasion meant vast stocks of money and munitions was stolen and socked away. It now reappears in the form of wages for sacked army types turned insurgents and IEDs blowing away hummers.
In short the fuck up is laid at the foot of Bush and co (and us, by extension because we - and we have experience at successful counter insurgency didn't do our part and point out what they were doing was fucked up. This happened in Vietnam as well).
Americans cannot do counter insurgency well because they rely on high end kit to do the talking for them, as opposed to well trained light infantry who are taught to talk first, not point guns and shoot, and most importantly know how to get the local hierachy onside.
Anyway, it's a massive fuckup. But unfortunately right wing cockholes - who got us into this mess - are right in the sense of 'well, it's broke now, what do we do?'
Well, the surge is good. And more of it needs to happen. And if it does not work then Iraq needs to be split into the cultural/tribal regions they were before the UK elected to create an artificial country and put the Sunni minority in charge as per following standard colonial occupier techniques.
Like or not we killed the country. And we have to put it right. It's not the same as Vietnam, where a nationalistic well trained communist group was coming in to take unified control. Leaving will cause widespread chaos that will make Somalia look like a walk in the park. Not to mention it is home to trillions of dollars in oil that us greedy fuckers in the west need.
The yanks are not going anywhere soon. And if they stay they have to be doing it properly. The surge is a good start. They need more of that. And, like I said, if that doesn't work then they should consider partition. Because while voluntary ethnic relocation is a horrible thing to have to endure, at the end of the day it will save lives. Leaving Iraq as is now will be leaving millions to potentially die.
And if the US and Iraq do manage to get a lid on it, maybe the two million professional iraqis that are needed to run the country - the doctors, dentists, lawyers, teachers, scientists, technicians - will come back.
It's a complete pile of shit. Shit caused by conservative fuckwads who had no proper plans to govern. But that don't make the shit stink less and walking away from it will make it stink more.
Anyway my 0.02.
Unbelievable
Killing people is wrong. It's always wrong. Sure the morality can be hazy, but at the end of the day violent death of another human is a tragedy.
Some are more tragic than others. Like mofos allegedly using children to get past checkpoints then blowing the cars up ... with the children still in it.
I know human beings can do insane things. Put anyone in a situation and alter their environment enough they will see killing others as a rational act. Even a good act. For some - a holy act.
But I don't think there's an ideology or religion in the world apart from those big on human sacrifice and blood stained altars, that would ever, ever consider the use of children as living bombs as acceptable.
Holy fucking shit. Now they're using fucking children. If that doesn't just eat at your guts I don't know what will.
This isn't an Islam thing. This isn't even an us (Sunni/Shiia) and them (Shiia/Sunni) thing. This is just evil. How did it come to this?
Some are more tragic than others. Like mofos allegedly using children to get past checkpoints then blowing the cars up ... with the children still in it.
I know human beings can do insane things. Put anyone in a situation and alter their environment enough they will see killing others as a rational act. Even a good act. For some - a holy act.
But I don't think there's an ideology or religion in the world apart from those big on human sacrifice and blood stained altars, that would ever, ever consider the use of children as living bombs as acceptable.
Holy fucking shit. Now they're using fucking children. If that doesn't just eat at your guts I don't know what will.
This isn't an Islam thing. This isn't even an us (Sunni/Shiia) and them (Shiia/Sunni) thing. This is just evil. How did it come to this?
Go Barners - Boo Family First
Well Barners stood up against TheMan, despite being in the party that is the toadying suckboy to TheMan. And well done. He voted with the Dems et al to condem the military commisions as a justice joke.
But ... Family First said no (cough). This despite, as the SMH notes, Fielding saying 'He should be on Australian soil, he should be here just like the UK has brought their people back to the UK to be tried.' in June last year.
You see Fielding loves families. He puts families first. But not families of people who have been railroaded by the "War on Terror" fuckmachine that is driven by the twin engine drivers of Bush and Howard.
Nice one Fielding. Let's see you fucking blog this one.
But ... Family First said no (cough). This despite, as the SMH notes, Fielding saying 'He should be on Australian soil, he should be here just like the UK has brought their people back to the UK to be tried.' in June last year.
You see Fielding loves families. He puts families first. But not families of people who have been railroaded by the "War on Terror" fuckmachine that is driven by the twin engine drivers of Bush and Howard.
Nice one Fielding. Let's see you fucking blog this one.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Daily Show Goodness
I don't know how to link to the current vids [it's titled the Unforgettable Fired], but it's on the intro screen on today's excerpt (see Daily Show link in blogroll - it should start automatically).
Anyway, this made me piss myself laughing.
... A flat out denial from Gonzales (RE firing Attorneys for base political purpose). You know in the good old days that would have been the end of the story. The Republican Congress would have said ‘Huh? What? You Didn’t? Okay’ and gone back to say building bridges in Alaska to save Terry Schiavo from gay flag burners.
Anyway, this made me piss myself laughing.
... A flat out denial from Gonzales (RE firing Attorneys for base political purpose). You know in the good old days that would have been the end of the story. The Republican Congress would have said ‘Huh? What? You Didn’t? Okay’ and gone back to say building bridges in Alaska to save Terry Schiavo from gay flag burners.
Won't someone please think of Santo Santoro?!
Ah Alexander "Lovejoy" Downer. Quick to priss on the behalf of fallen mates. As evidenced in the SMH with his damning Labor for still putting the boot into Mr 'Scores and Scores of forgotten transactions' even though he has now resigned completely from the Senate. According to Prissy, we should now leave him alone."I mean he has resigned. What more can he do," Mr Downer told ABC Radio.
"Does the Labor Party want him to go out and do something even worse. Leave him alone now. He has resigned. Think about him as a human being.
"I think it is about time there is a bit more of that from the Labor Party. Santo Santoro is a human being. Does he have to be whipped and chastised more and more and more? He has resigned and I think the Labor Party should now start talking about something of substance."
See the SMH article here.
The Liberal party muck machine goes into overdrive to slag off former ALP figures, deals made, or things the ALP did over 10 years ago when they were in government. Richardson this, Keating that, Evans this, and so on and so on and so on.
And yet when the ALP points out just how nakedly hypocritical they are, prissy has a wah wah. How I remember his 'I always thought Kelvin Thompson was a grubby sort of character' for the mistake Thompson made in generating a referee support statement for someone he'd never met (who turned out to be a drug king pin). Downer went off, champing at the bit to point out darkly that the ALP make 'huge errors of judgment'. Thompson having resigned two days before Downer went at him.
But you see, it's different. Because ... prissy said said so.
I'd like to see him in one of those old time 19th century sailor suits the rich kids wore. Maybe he could turn up to one of the APECs in it and do karoke?
"On the good ship, lollypop..."
The dilema of hard core orthodox theists
Almost every organised religion has issue with gays in the design of things. Abrahamic faiths across the board don't like it. Even Dharmic ones glower at it - as noted in a previous post RE Life Holes.
But as this washpost article notes, the more science reveals how biologically the drive for homosexuality can be genetic, the more faiths will struggle to incorporate this revelation into their beliefs. Much like some had to incorporate the concept that the world is a probably touch over the 8,000 year mark (and yea do Uth they struggle with that!)
Excellent quote from the piece as follows;
...Mohler's conundrum: how to reconcile a God who creates homosexuals with a God who condemns practicing homosexuals to hell? A mysterious God may be well and good, but a capricious or contradictory God can inspire so much doubt that He threatens the credibility of the entire religious enterprise.
Anyway, worth a read. Excellent piece. You may need to register to access it (free - takes some moments to set up).
But as this washpost article notes, the more science reveals how biologically the drive for homosexuality can be genetic, the more faiths will struggle to incorporate this revelation into their beliefs. Much like some had to incorporate the concept that the world is a probably touch over the 8,000 year mark (and yea do Uth they struggle with that!)
Excellent quote from the piece as follows;
...Mohler's conundrum: how to reconcile a God who creates homosexuals with a God who condemns practicing homosexuals to hell? A mysterious God may be well and good, but a capricious or contradictory God can inspire so much doubt that He threatens the credibility of the entire religious enterprise.
Anyway, worth a read. Excellent piece. You may need to register to access it (free - takes some moments to set up).
Shaken Seating Syndrome
This morning I called in semi-sick to work. Semi-sick means 'I'll be in at lunchtime', due to a rough night with the old guts.
My work alllows me to send it by email. Which is kewl.
In a fair chunk of pain, tired from crap sleep, and basically rather annoyed, theWife, who is also sick, happened to remark the email I sent my supervisor didn't make it.
Where upon I felt the need to wail/gnash teeth. I grabbed the back of my Dr Evil chair and shook it violently all the while yelling 'rrrwwwaaawwrrrggghhhhhhh'.
Felt bad for it. I have a quick temper. And for some reason IT related fuck ups - wether me caused or the gear I am using - makes me crack the shits big time.
I feel especially bad that I took it out on the chair.
Poor chair.
(pats it lovingly).
Let's hope the Battered Furniture Foundation doesn't hear about it. Burly swedes in wife beaters with allen key shaped batons might come to take me away for re-education.
'Who is the big man now, fatso?' (poke, poke). 'Quick Sven, let's insert our key into him and see if he enjoys it.'
My work alllows me to send it by email. Which is kewl.
In a fair chunk of pain, tired from crap sleep, and basically rather annoyed, theWife, who is also sick, happened to remark the email I sent my supervisor didn't make it.
Where upon I felt the need to wail/gnash teeth. I grabbed the back of my Dr Evil chair and shook it violently all the while yelling 'rrrwwwaaawwrrrggghhhhhhh'.
Felt bad for it. I have a quick temper. And for some reason IT related fuck ups - wether me caused or the gear I am using - makes me crack the shits big time.
I feel especially bad that I took it out on the chair.
Poor chair.
(pats it lovingly).
Let's hope the Battered Furniture Foundation doesn't hear about it. Burly swedes in wife beaters with allen key shaped batons might come to take me away for re-education.
'Who is the big man now, fatso?' (poke, poke). 'Quick Sven, let's insert our key into him and see if he enjoys it.'
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Aw ... look at the widdle Oz trying to pretend it isn't the publishing arm of the Liberal party
In reluctantly endorsing a return of the Howard Government at the last election, The Australian expressed disappointment at what we said had been a grubby, greedy election campaign waged by both parties. Under pressure, the Government had set a strategy of bribing its way back into office with $60 billion in giveaways that failed to address the great economic challenges of improving workforce participation and boosting productivity. For its part, Labor had put forward a flawed leader and a backward-looking agenda. The record shows that far from being too close to the Howard Government, as our detractors would argue, this newspaper has in fact been a fierce critic. Instead of criticising from the soft Left perspective on issues such as the treatment of asylum-seekers or accused terrorists, we have attacked the Howard Government for its lack of credibility on economic management. We have adopted a rationalist position, criticising the Government for giving too much money to special interest groups in the quest for electoral advantage at the expense of good policy. Against the reforms of the Hawke and Keating years, the Howard Government can be justly accused of being weak on economic reform. This said, we support the Government's introduction of a GST - something Mr Keating was unable to achieve - despite its benefits having been largely squandered by the Labor state governments. And we support the Government's higher education reforms, the freeing up of the waterfront from its unionised straitjacket and the more flexible workplace it has championed. But for a government that argues its strongest virtue is economic management, the real economic achievements of the past 11 years are slim pickings.
Yep, they sure were reluctant. And they're right in the sense they do attack Howard - from the right - in the sense of having articles whose theme is 'bloated fat cats need more money; LESS TAX FOR THE RICH'.
Ah the Oz. You amuse me so. See the editorial here
Oh I particularly also like Dennis "I heart the Liberal party" Shannahan attempting to explain the polls in such as way that it's a positive for the Liberal party.
He's a good completely objective egg.
Yep, they sure were reluctant. And they're right in the sense they do attack Howard - from the right - in the sense of having articles whose theme is 'bloated fat cats need more money; LESS TAX FOR THE RICH'.
Ah the Oz. You amuse me so. See the editorial here
Oh I particularly also like Dennis "I heart the Liberal party" Shannahan attempting to explain the polls in such as way that it's a positive for the Liberal party.
He's a good completely objective egg.
Freaky kid seen near Sundown Motel Resort
The child, about nineish, was seen near the Sundown Motel Resort in Canberra, watching the building intently, before leaving to hang out in a graveyard.
'His freaky orange/red hair and thick Child Molester glasses put the wind up me,' admitted the owner, whose motel endured an unsuccessful exorcism recently.
'It was almost as if he was waiting for someone, or something, to turn up and "claim him",' he added.
The motel owner said he later spotted a fucked in the head bald racist sometime newspaper columnist ex crocodile farming PNG parliament former advisor to some bigoted Ipswich bint wandering around the car park who he told to 'piss off'. The bald former 'advisor' said he was going to bally paint a terrifically mean picture then write about how the motel owner was in league with Arabs.
The bald man was later seen to pick up the child, check him for birthmarks, then drive the child down south to be 'raised to inherit the earth and bring it unto fire and yea angels shall fall before him and woe be to those that stand against him.'
They later stopped for McDonalds where the child enjoyed melting happy meal toys of the other differently hued children, much to the beaming delight of his hairless mentor.
'His freaky orange/red hair and thick Child Molester glasses put the wind up me,' admitted the owner, whose motel endured an unsuccessful exorcism recently.'It was almost as if he was waiting for someone, or something, to turn up and "claim him",' he added.
The motel owner said he later spotted a fucked in the head bald racist sometime newspaper columnist ex crocodile farming PNG parliament former advisor to some bigoted Ipswich bint wandering around the car park who he told to 'piss off'. The bald former 'advisor' said he was going to bally paint a terrifically mean picture then write about how the motel owner was in league with Arabs.
The bald man was later seen to pick up the child, check him for birthmarks, then drive the child down south to be 'raised to inherit the earth and bring it unto fire and yea angels shall fall before him and woe be to those that stand against him.'
They later stopped for McDonalds where the child enjoyed melting happy meal toys of the other differently hued children, much to the beaming delight of his hairless mentor.
Ah the Libs, so humorous
Lt. Irv Lansing: Hey Sarge, it's tingling!
Sgt. Wes Luger: Good! That means it's working
From Loaded Weapon
Today on the drive home I happened to hear some lame arsed Lib no name senator wanking on about how Labor were mean and horrid when they were in government - over 10 years ago - and how they didn't have a ministerial code of conduct. And how Keating had a piggery (yep, that again, 13 years on). And anyway, the Santoros resignation showed that the Code was working.
Yep, that it was working. No mention of the nearly nine year hiatus of it not working - or rather chosen by them not to be enforced at all up until the Ian 'sorry you're in the way mate' Campbell took one for the team and walked away. Of course Santoros had such a massive breech of the code it was hard for them not to ignore it. But how we all remember when their much vauted 'code which the ALP refused to bring in when they were in government' was not implemented. Peter "Phone Card / Children Overboard" Reith. Warrick Parer (not a hanging offence to have two million shares in the portfolio you're fucking running). AWB, etc, etc, etc.
Yep, it's not the anti dandruff shampoo that's making this work this time. It's the election year and Howard all of a sudden has found accountibility is big in the polls. Good, it's about fucking time.
Monday, March 19, 2007
More open mouth face slap mcclure goodness
The war in Iraq has only made the world a more dangerous place, writes Paul McGeough in Islamabad.
IT IS more the war of error than a war on terror.
See the SMH article here.
Exorcism fails to banish malign presence
Canberra; An exorcism staffed by leading faiths including Anglican, Catholic, Judaism, Islam, Pentecostal Baptist, and Wicca, failed to drive out a lurking ominous presence from a local motel according to sources.
‘Great evil happened here,’ said Father Shamus O’Toole. ‘Great evil that was two, that became one.’
Motel management said the fell manifestation of evil had been present ever since around the mid to late 90’s, coinciding with the first term of the Liberal government.
‘We’re not sure what happened exactly,’ said the motel owner who asked not to be named. ‘Only that anyone within the room feels a … presence … of evil. And whispered broken voiced strine going on about Aboriginal benefits and being swamped by Alsatians – or something like that.’
The gathered theologians huddled for an inter-faith dialogue on the outside stair that lead to the room and decided that likely what occurred was two evil presences conducted an unholy rite that was a blasphemy on the very earth, and that from that rite came the possibility of a greater evil.
‘Oh … should their congruence bear fruit then seek a boy child … born …. of evil …’ said Wicca rep Willow Earthroot, eyes rolling into the back of her head. ‘Yeah ye shall know him from his red hair, tortured voice, and poor eyesight.’
The theologians said birth records from the era around nine months after the date of the first mannifestation should be scoured, in case the rite did produce an unholy spawn.
As for the presence, unfortunately the theologians said there was nothing that could shift it.
‘The presence feeds off the consciousness of those around it. It feeds off fear, off difference. The cultural environment of Australia is such that as long as those who make it their business to use fear for their own ends, these malign presences will continue to pop up in all sorts of places.’
The theologians were then taken to the Channel 7 studios to assist with a similar manifestation at the stage where Dancing With the Stars is filmed. Darryl Sommers was then seen hastily throwing in several colourful jumpers into a case and running out a side door just in case they were coming for him.
See SMH story here
‘Great evil happened here,’ said Father Shamus O’Toole. ‘Great evil that was two, that became one.’
Motel management said the fell manifestation of evil had been present ever since around the mid to late 90’s, coinciding with the first term of the Liberal government.
‘We’re not sure what happened exactly,’ said the motel owner who asked not to be named. ‘Only that anyone within the room feels a … presence … of evil. And whispered broken voiced strine going on about Aboriginal benefits and being swamped by Alsatians – or something like that.’
The gathered theologians huddled for an inter-faith dialogue on the outside stair that lead to the room and decided that likely what occurred was two evil presences conducted an unholy rite that was a blasphemy on the very earth, and that from that rite came the possibility of a greater evil.
‘Oh … should their congruence bear fruit then seek a boy child … born …. of evil …’ said Wicca rep Willow Earthroot, eyes rolling into the back of her head. ‘Yeah ye shall know him from his red hair, tortured voice, and poor eyesight.’
The theologians said birth records from the era around nine months after the date of the first mannifestation should be scoured, in case the rite did produce an unholy spawn.
As for the presence, unfortunately the theologians said there was nothing that could shift it.
‘The presence feeds off the consciousness of those around it. It feeds off fear, off difference. The cultural environment of Australia is such that as long as those who make it their business to use fear for their own ends, these malign presences will continue to pop up in all sorts of places.’
The theologians were then taken to the Channel 7 studios to assist with a similar manifestation at the stage where Dancing With the Stars is filmed. Darryl Sommers was then seen hastily throwing in several colourful jumpers into a case and running out a side door just in case they were coming for him.
See SMH story here
PM Fart Gag Goes Wrong
Prime Minister John Howard had a gag go horribly wrong, when his planned amusing display in a Hercules transport aircraft triggered smoke alarms and forced the crew and passengers to don masks.
‘I’d been building up quite the volume of gas ever since that dodgy chicken tikka MRE we had at Camp Freedom and decided I’d let her rip for the joy of the air crew,’ said the guilty PM. ‘Only I went the lighter and it kind of backfired.’
Not backfired in the internal rectal sense but rather when the PM lifted his legs up and manuevered the lighter just below his rectum and let fly, the ignited gas unfortunately shorted out an opposing panel causing the plastic wiring to melt. This in turn triggered the smoke detection sensors, forcing the occupants into masks.
‘I am just so terribly embarrassed,’ said the PM. ‘Aussie troops have been joshing and joking ever since they skull fucked a dead turk at Lone Pine. So naturally I thought they’d think this was a rip snorter. Unfortunately once I ripped, it shorted wiring instead.’
The plane was forced to make an emergency landing, leading the SAS troopers on board to carry the Prime Minister out the rear and into the safety of the desert. Unfortunately for the PM, his legs were still locked in Y mode from the fart lighting due to a tricky hip issue that has recently bedevilled the walk obsessed dear leader, forcing the troopers to carry him out with legs still raised.
‘They placed me on the ground, with my legs awkwardly arranged,’ said the PM. ‘I’m just glad there were no naked flames cause the rest of the tikka gas came out thanks to the jostling I’d received. And if I’d passed blue flame there’s a good chance I would have pinwheeled around the southern deserts of iraq, my buttock escapees clearly giving away our position like some kind of rectally discharged illumination flare.’
For the SMH story see here
‘I’d been building up quite the volume of gas ever since that dodgy chicken tikka MRE we had at Camp Freedom and decided I’d let her rip for the joy of the air crew,’ said the guilty PM. ‘Only I went the lighter and it kind of backfired.’
Not backfired in the internal rectal sense but rather when the PM lifted his legs up and manuevered the lighter just below his rectum and let fly, the ignited gas unfortunately shorted out an opposing panel causing the plastic wiring to melt. This in turn triggered the smoke detection sensors, forcing the occupants into masks.
‘I am just so terribly embarrassed,’ said the PM. ‘Aussie troops have been joshing and joking ever since they skull fucked a dead turk at Lone Pine. So naturally I thought they’d think this was a rip snorter. Unfortunately once I ripped, it shorted wiring instead.’
The plane was forced to make an emergency landing, leading the SAS troopers on board to carry the Prime Minister out the rear and into the safety of the desert. Unfortunately for the PM, his legs were still locked in Y mode from the fart lighting due to a tricky hip issue that has recently bedevilled the walk obsessed dear leader, forcing the troopers to carry him out with legs still raised.
‘They placed me on the ground, with my legs awkwardly arranged,’ said the PM. ‘I’m just glad there were no naked flames cause the rest of the tikka gas came out thanks to the jostling I’d received. And if I’d passed blue flame there’s a good chance I would have pinwheeled around the southern deserts of iraq, my buttock escapees clearly giving away our position like some kind of rectally discharged illumination flare.’
For the SMH story see here
Spruiker’s pitch undermined by open button revealing Connery esq thatch of chest hair
Kerrie-Anne’s morning show; Kerrie-Anne’s offsider, an unnamed gentlemen, today completely undermined his sycophantic sucking up to a ‘special guest’ pitching a product no one ever needs, or at least if they do need it, not from them, by having the top button of his shirt done.
‘I couldn’t take my eyes of it,’ said Harrangueman, who happened to see the debacle on the TV near his PC when he came in to check the internet. ‘And, to top it off, nestled in the downy mass was a thin gold chain which I can only presume ended in some sort of 70’s style sex symbol of an upward thrusting arrow.’
Harrangueman watched as the gentleman presenter gently ‘teased out’ details of the incredible must have package of some shit, all the while his sight line was drawn to the upside down triangle of chest hair rustling in the slight breeze within the studio.
‘You know, their “conversation” would seem more like a normal “conversation” if the opposing spruiker, a plastic surgery enhanced product pitcher, actually looked at the gentleman spruiker she was allegedly talking to instead of right down the barrel of the camera,’ added HM, but noting that perhaps the reason she didn’t was the dude’s ample hairage put her off.
‘I couldn’t take my eyes of it,’ said Harrangueman, who happened to see the debacle on the TV near his PC when he came in to check the internet. ‘And, to top it off, nestled in the downy mass was a thin gold chain which I can only presume ended in some sort of 70’s style sex symbol of an upward thrusting arrow.’
Harrangueman watched as the gentleman presenter gently ‘teased out’ details of the incredible must have package of some shit, all the while his sight line was drawn to the upside down triangle of chest hair rustling in the slight breeze within the studio.
‘You know, their “conversation” would seem more like a normal “conversation” if the opposing spruiker, a plastic surgery enhanced product pitcher, actually looked at the gentleman spruiker she was allegedly talking to instead of right down the barrel of the camera,’ added HM, but noting that perhaps the reason she didn’t was the dude’s ample hairage put her off.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Goatee No Mo
I want this term to enter the book of updated words/phrases. Because it's far easier than saying 'a goatee without a moustache' and does not require the cultural awareness of 'Almish beard'.
Maybe Google will pick this up?
Here's hoping.
Anyway
Goatee No Mo
Goatee-no-mo
Goatee No Mo
Goatee-no-mo
Goatee No Mo
Goatee-no-mo
Goatee No Mo
Goatee-no-mo
Goatee No Mo
Goatee-no-mo
And so forth. Let's hope it picks it up.
Hey is there an official term for the goatee no mo? Let me know, if so.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
1001 Posts; So HM which is your fave?
Well there are so, so many posts, so it's hard to choose.
But, for me, this is probably my favourite.
But, for me, this is probably my favourite.
Are you The Man? The Quiz
| Do you wear a uniform in your daily occupation? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you work for the government? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Are you a member of a right wing political movement? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Are you a member of a left wing political movement? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you vote Conservative? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you vote for Socialist minded parties? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Are you a fan of Alternate Rock ? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do swear words form part of your everyday vocabulary? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Are you in an upper income tax bracket? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Have you ever been a member of a right wing youth movement (eg Scouts, Young Liberals etc)? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you oppose homosexuality? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Are you a member of a conservative religion? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Have you ever bought a Green Left Weekly or the Big Issue? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever smoked an illegal substance? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you like to walk around naked? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you like hippies? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever been to an Alternate Rock Festival? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever been to a right wing political rally? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you like Michael Moore? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you like Bob Brown (leader of the Greens)? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you like John Howard? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you like George Bush? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you like American Wrestling? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Did you study History at uni? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever bought the Sydney Star Observor? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever yelled at the TV when a Conservative politican was on? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Do you own a four wheel drive that you use primarially for in town transport? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
| Do you know what your Porn Star name is? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Have you ever seen a film by Michael Moore and agreed largely with the sentiments expressed there in? | =0 if yes, 1 if no |
| Did you drive a ute at uni and/or play Rugby? | =1 if yes, 0 if no |
I mocked this up in excel but alas have no idea how to set up those them thar fancy quizzes you see on the internets.
AnYway, scoring.
21+; You are the man and will be first up against the wall when the revolution comes
11-20; While you are not the man, you like the man and as such are not to be trusted
10-; You are not the man and despise what the man stands for
Of course these questions are completely unscientific and are merely pulled out of my arse. If you're curious, my score was 2.
Anyway, thanks to Ms Sparx for the kind words reminding us, that as far as many of us grounded in reality types go, we are not the man.
Supermarket Follies
As thewife sat down while I waited at the line, the woman behind me got exasperated at her kidlets (a pair of 3-4 year olds).
'Oh,' she said, frustrated. 'You're acting like children!'
--------------------------------------------------------
Coles has Love Bins of Classic Love Movies - pretty pink cardboard stands crammed with DVDs to make you go 'Awwwwwwwwwwww'.
Only they'd put Revenge of the Nerds in it.
--------------------------------------------------------
Finally, while reading the rowdies* at Michel's I looked down at my arm, only to see I was being fucked on by a pair of flies.
*Couplespeak for Newspapers
'Oh,' she said, frustrated. 'You're acting like children!'
--------------------------------------------------------
Coles has Love Bins of Classic Love Movies - pretty pink cardboard stands crammed with DVDs to make you go 'Awwwwwwwwwwww'.
Only they'd put Revenge of the Nerds in it.
--------------------------------------------------------
Finally, while reading the rowdies* at Michel's I looked down at my arm, only to see I was being fucked on by a pair of flies.
*Couplespeak for Newspapers
Cat Voms
If you're not a cat person you won't know of the joy of hearing the pain laced yowling of yer cat launching into upchuck mode. It's kind of 'YYYYOOOOOOOOEEEEEEUUUUURRRRRRLLL' then their little stomachs heave in an out like furry bellows. The trick is of course is to then grab them and go place them on tiles or lino.
And they're voms are not like human voms where it's 'Bllleeeuuurrrghh' (SPLOOSH). It's figuratively their laying a stomach sausage only out their mouth. As their stomach heaves in and out, out comes said sausage - a lot like an actual sausage in fact.
As an aside when I was a kid I was obsessed with guns. There was no banned gun play from kidtlet playing places in the 70's. It was encouraged. Guns, guns, guns. Not only did I have a black painted cut out of a gun my Dad made for me, but I'd walk around in a tiny NATO uniform with little epaulettes and everything.
So naturally when I drew my kidlet pictures, there would be guns in it. If I'd done this today, counsellors (I'm thinking dudes with those goatee-no-mos) would have been called in.
If we went on a tugboat cruise, there was my Dad at the prow, with his gun. Basically shooting whales (my then town was an old whaling town I think). Of course all I could do was stick figures where the gun was represented by a single dash between limbs. But still, hilarious.
Anyway, as kidlets we'd get taken places, excursions etc. Farms, factories (Box factory?), etc. One day we were shown how a sausage was made at a Butchers.
We got tasked with drawing an account of our sausage gensis viewing adventure.
Naturally, in the pic, it turns out, I was packing heat. I think I recall the carefuly penned penmanship of the teacher where she described for me the action in the pic, which was 'then we saw a sausage made and I had my gun'.
Back to the Voms.
When the cat has finished the upchuck the sausage is there, usually laced through with hair (the reason for the upchuck), and needs to be cleaned up. Because it's a sausage you can actually just pick almost all of it up.
But fellow cat owners. If you do pick it up right away (and kitchen towel is the best), do ... do you get a little gag reflex because it's still warm?
I know I do.
And they're voms are not like human voms where it's 'Bllleeeuuurrrghh' (SPLOOSH). It's figuratively their laying a stomach sausage only out their mouth. As their stomach heaves in and out, out comes said sausage - a lot like an actual sausage in fact.
As an aside when I was a kid I was obsessed with guns. There was no banned gun play from kidtlet playing places in the 70's. It was encouraged. Guns, guns, guns. Not only did I have a black painted cut out of a gun my Dad made for me, but I'd walk around in a tiny NATO uniform with little epaulettes and everything.
So naturally when I drew my kidlet pictures, there would be guns in it. If I'd done this today, counsellors (I'm thinking dudes with those goatee-no-mos) would have been called in.
If we went on a tugboat cruise, there was my Dad at the prow, with his gun. Basically shooting whales (my then town was an old whaling town I think). Of course all I could do was stick figures where the gun was represented by a single dash between limbs. But still, hilarious.
Anyway, as kidlets we'd get taken places, excursions etc. Farms, factories (Box factory?), etc. One day we were shown how a sausage was made at a Butchers.
We got tasked with drawing an account of our sausage gensis viewing adventure.
Naturally, in the pic, it turns out, I was packing heat. I think I recall the carefuly penned penmanship of the teacher where she described for me the action in the pic, which was 'then we saw a sausage made and I had my gun'.
Back to the Voms.
When the cat has finished the upchuck the sausage is there, usually laced through with hair (the reason for the upchuck), and needs to be cleaned up. Because it's a sausage you can actually just pick almost all of it up.
But fellow cat owners. If you do pick it up right away (and kitchen towel is the best), do ... do you get a little gag reflex because it's still warm?
I know I do.
Creepy...
Whilst finding choice lines for the Pauline Pillow I re-read her maiden speech, as seen here.
I have to admit I am more than a little creeped out by the fact many, many wonderful demands of hers have since not only been adopted by the Howard government, but fiercely embraced.
For example
This is why I am calling for ATSIC to be abolished. It is a failed, hypocritical and discriminatory organisation that has failed dismally the people it was meant to serve.
ATSIC has since gone. The ALP likewise called for it to go. And it was poorly run I admit on that front. But still, creepy.
The child support scheme has become unworkable, very unfair and one sided. Custodial parents can often profit handsomely at the expense of a parent paying child support, and in many cases the non-custodial parent simply gives up employment to escape the, in many cases, heavy and punitive financial demands.
The government will be amending child support provisions to make them fairer. Again, she had a point. As they stand now they are not as fair as they can be. This will be changed, such as fairer recognition of time with the non primary carer as well as income of both parties. Still, creepy.
Immigration and multiculturalism are issues that this government is trying to address, but for far too long ordinary Australians have been kept out of any debate by the major parties. I and most Australians want our immigration policy radically reviewed and that of multiculturalism abolished.
Hello... They grabbed this one tight, even renaming the fucking department responsible.
Immigration must be halted in the short term so that our dole queues are not added to by, in many cases, unskilled migrants not fluent in the English language.
Well our refugee intake is fuck all (where the unskilleds come from - though the 457 scheme is abused by companies frequently to attract "apprentices" to semi-skilled jobs), but the English language provisions are coming our way. Not to mention the 'Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi' quiz.
The government must be imaginative enough to become involved, in the short term at least, in job creating projects that will help establish the foundation for a resurgence of national development and enterprise. Such schemes would be the building of the Alice Springs to Darwin railway line, new roads and ports, water conservation, reafforestation and other sensible and practical environmental projects.
Not sure Pauline understands the word "environmental" when applying it to a fucking railway, but still railway now up and running ... at a massive fucking loss. But water conversation (tick - and well it should be) right on the agenda for all.
So, yes, a bit creeped out but just how much the government has done in accordance with Pauline's mannifesto.
Finally...
We now have a situation where a type of reverse racism is applied to mainstream Australians by those who promote political correctness and those who control the various taxpayer funded `industries' that flourish in our society servicing Aboriginals, multiculturalists and a host of other minority groups. In response to my call for equality for all Australians, the most noisy criticism came from the fat cats, bureaucrats and the do-gooders. They screamed the loudest because they stand to lose the most—their power, money and position, all funded by ordinary Australian taxpayers.
It may as well have been Howard himself saying that. You know what the govt should do? Appoint her as an advisor. I mean, she's clearly got her finger on their pulse.
I have to admit I am more than a little creeped out by the fact many, many wonderful demands of hers have since not only been adopted by the Howard government, but fiercely embraced.
For example
This is why I am calling for ATSIC to be abolished. It is a failed, hypocritical and discriminatory organisation that has failed dismally the people it was meant to serve.
ATSIC has since gone. The ALP likewise called for it to go. And it was poorly run I admit on that front. But still, creepy.
The child support scheme has become unworkable, very unfair and one sided. Custodial parents can often profit handsomely at the expense of a parent paying child support, and in many cases the non-custodial parent simply gives up employment to escape the, in many cases, heavy and punitive financial demands.
The government will be amending child support provisions to make them fairer. Again, she had a point. As they stand now they are not as fair as they can be. This will be changed, such as fairer recognition of time with the non primary carer as well as income of both parties. Still, creepy.
Immigration and multiculturalism are issues that this government is trying to address, but for far too long ordinary Australians have been kept out of any debate by the major parties. I and most Australians want our immigration policy radically reviewed and that of multiculturalism abolished.
Hello... They grabbed this one tight, even renaming the fucking department responsible.
Immigration must be halted in the short term so that our dole queues are not added to by, in many cases, unskilled migrants not fluent in the English language.
Well our refugee intake is fuck all (where the unskilleds come from - though the 457 scheme is abused by companies frequently to attract "apprentices" to semi-skilled jobs), but the English language provisions are coming our way. Not to mention the 'Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi' quiz.
The government must be imaginative enough to become involved, in the short term at least, in job creating projects that will help establish the foundation for a resurgence of national development and enterprise. Such schemes would be the building of the Alice Springs to Darwin railway line, new roads and ports, water conservation, reafforestation and other sensible and practical environmental projects.
Not sure Pauline understands the word "environmental" when applying it to a fucking railway, but still railway now up and running ... at a massive fucking loss. But water conversation (tick - and well it should be) right on the agenda for all.
So, yes, a bit creeped out but just how much the government has done in accordance with Pauline's mannifesto.
Finally...
We now have a situation where a type of reverse racism is applied to mainstream Australians by those who promote political correctness and those who control the various taxpayer funded `industries' that flourish in our society servicing Aboriginals, multiculturalists and a host of other minority groups. In response to my call for equality for all Australians, the most noisy criticism came from the fat cats, bureaucrats and the do-gooders. They screamed the loudest because they stand to lose the most—their power, money and position, all funded by ordinary Australian taxpayers.
It may as well have been Howard himself saying that. You know what the govt should do? Appoint her as an advisor. I mean, she's clearly got her finger on their pulse.
One Nation proudly presents the Pauline Pillow
Tired of trying to sleep with all the evil of the world? Terrified the soft left will give Australia over to brown and yellow people with funny names and hats? Need yourself a shrill broken voiced mother figure to rock you to sleep?
That’s right, right wingers, the Pauline Pillow is for you. Large enough for you to wail and scream into you can cry, cry, cry into it all night long. Special sensors designed to detect angry tears will then trigger, activating our soothing sounds of Pauline in action against the enemies of freedom, such as edumacated people and them thar fancy book learnin’ stuff.
In addition to these soothing sounds, you can have your choice of one of several lines, stitched to the pillow's loving face by overseas workers, of our great Pauline in action in her maiden speech in parliament before she was cruelly denied her chance to serve in the 1998 election, after short sighted people who clearly do not deserve the vote, voted her out.
Choose from
‘We are in danger of being swamped by Asians.’
‘Abolishing the policy of multiculturalism will save billions of dollars and allow those from ethnic backgrounds to join mainstream Australia, paving the way to a strong, united country.’
‘Present governments are encouraging separatism in Australia by providing opportunities, land, moneys and facilities available only to Aboriginals.’
‘I have done research on benefits available only to Aboriginals and challenge anyone to tell me how Aboriginals are disadvantaged when they can obtain three and five per cent housing loans denied to non-Aboriginals.’
‘To survive in peace and harmony, united and strong, we must have one people, one nation, one flag.’
Yes, the Pauline Pillow. Because she truly is the mother of Australia.
(With thanks to Sarah)
Ahhh - it's like getting into a hot bath
Dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang, dang
Cello, cello, cello, cello, cello, cello
Cello, cello, cello, cello, cello, cello
Cello, cello, cello, cello, cello, cello
Cello, cello, cello, cello, cello, cello
I can't believe it
Do my eyes deceive me?
Am I back in your arms?
Away from all harm?
It's like a dream to be with you again
Can't believe that I'm with you again
I missed you and I must admit
I kissed a few and once did sit
On Ivor the Engine Driver's lap
And later with him, had a nap
You are forgiven, you are forgiven, you are forgiven ... [ad lib]
You are forgiven
Suck shit mofo
Oh the irony that this one actually went for doing the wrong thing in accordance with the Ministerial guidelines. It's almost as if the polls are saying 'be more accountable, be more accountable'.
Just as an aside, I twatwatched Santoro back here.
Friday, March 16, 2007
More quotes from the table
"I shot mah own damn ear off"
The budgie smuggler after Alex braked the car suddenly causing the rifle to discharge.
The budgie smuggler after Alex braked the car suddenly causing the rifle to discharge.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Fred Nile
(Pic courtesy of Sarah's blog)Jesus Christ, what a mofo.
Also see Art's blog here
I don't know why people are so down on Hilaly. Nile's been spouting similiar hateful crap under the guise of God for years.
Apologies to all Christians for your having him nominally part of your ranks. Of course, like Muslims across Australia, ultimately everything he says we assume you agree with unless you come out publically and say otherwise every single time he does say something.
Gee, that's a lot of public saying otherwise you're going to have to do!*
*Obviously not intended as a sledge on Christians but a sledge on certain figures in the coalition.
Dick Cheney to Race Bin Assface against Laden Cave Car
Dick Cheney, scary animatronic that escaped from a secret underground Halliburton R&D bunker deep in the Palmina flats in time to be elected as Vice President in the 2000 election, has reportedly taken umbrage at Bin Laden’s recent acquisition of a Flinstones style cave car, the gaunt terror leader who all leftists regard as ‘GOOD’ no matter what they say to the contrary, given the spiritual head of Al'Qaeda named the vehicle "Dick" after the VP.
Left: Bin Laden Cave Car "Dick".
‘No one, no one mocks Dick Cheney,’ said the human appearing combination of mechanical and electronic parts power behind the white house throne, his poorly concealed robotic jaw moving up and down as if to simulate people speak. ‘No one.’
Dick Cheney, who uses his robotic brain well behind its capacity to store greetings and salutations to various theme parks or memorable phrases echoed by great men of History’s past, such as Lincoln who stood up for principles and the union and not for example water boarding people until brink of organ failure, apparently demanded the raw intelligence of the reported acquisition, then insisted on a match up to see who the ‘real Dick’ was.
‘Wah,’ said the Vice Presidential machine, his eyes glinting red with android fury. ‘We’ll teach that bearded Islamic mofo who the real penis is.’
Cheney then authorised a special double secret mission costing the tax payer several hundreds of millions of dollars, the spending of which is none of anyone’s damn fool business, to re-create Dick Dastardly’s car from fellow Hanna-Barbera stable TV show ‘The Wacky Races’. A secret meeting was then arranged between the two horrid old war makers to see just whose car was the fastest and therefore who out of the two the bigger cockhead was.
Left: Cheney announces challenge.
‘I’m the biggest Dick in town,’ thundered the animatronic Cheney. ‘And I’m going to beat the damn hell out of Bin Laden in my car, which I have creatively named Bin Assface.’
President Bush when told of the plan was reported to have demanded he accompany Cheney, given his terrific Mutley impression that he performed on almost every occasion he’d ever laughed in his entire life.
‘See, see listen to this, listen to this,’ said the President, his eyes shining. ‘Heeh heeh heeh.’
Left: Cheney and Bush road test CIA designed Bin Assface.
CIA and Al Qaeda officials who are witnesses to the planned historic confrontation said privately they hoped all three would paste themselves into the sides of a mountain and then they could settle up their differences over roast lamb and couscous, dividing the region into spheres of influence which, as irony would have it, is akin to how the Middle East was carved up between non Middle Eastern imperial powers France and the United Kingdom following World War One.
Al Qaeda officials have also alleged to have agreed that the animatronic Cheney is in fact clearly responsible for far more death and destruction than Bin Laden ever was given the hundreds of thousands of people who have died since the Iraq invasion, authorised by the Halliburton enhanced theme park attraction, is several times the number killed in every single Al Qaeda operation ever launched.
Left: Bin Laden Cave Car "Dick".
‘No one, no one mocks Dick Cheney,’ said the human appearing combination of mechanical and electronic parts power behind the white house throne, his poorly concealed robotic jaw moving up and down as if to simulate people speak. ‘No one.’
Dick Cheney, who uses his robotic brain well behind its capacity to store greetings and salutations to various theme parks or memorable phrases echoed by great men of History’s past, such as Lincoln who stood up for principles and the union and not for example water boarding people until brink of organ failure, apparently demanded the raw intelligence of the reported acquisition, then insisted on a match up to see who the ‘real Dick’ was.
‘Wah,’ said the Vice Presidential machine, his eyes glinting red with android fury. ‘We’ll teach that bearded Islamic mofo who the real penis is.’
Cheney then authorised a special double secret mission costing the tax payer several hundreds of millions of dollars, the spending of which is none of anyone’s damn fool business, to re-create Dick Dastardly’s car from fellow Hanna-Barbera stable TV show ‘The Wacky Races’. A secret meeting was then arranged between the two horrid old war makers to see just whose car was the fastest and therefore who out of the two the bigger cockhead was.
Left: Cheney announces challenge.‘I’m the biggest Dick in town,’ thundered the animatronic Cheney. ‘And I’m going to beat the damn hell out of Bin Laden in my car, which I have creatively named Bin Assface.’
President Bush when told of the plan was reported to have demanded he accompany Cheney, given his terrific Mutley impression that he performed on almost every occasion he’d ever laughed in his entire life.
‘See, see listen to this, listen to this,’ said the President, his eyes shining. ‘Heeh heeh heeh.’
Left: Cheney and Bush road test CIA designed Bin Assface.CIA and Al Qaeda officials who are witnesses to the planned historic confrontation said privately they hoped all three would paste themselves into the sides of a mountain and then they could settle up their differences over roast lamb and couscous, dividing the region into spheres of influence which, as irony would have it, is akin to how the Middle East was carved up between non Middle Eastern imperial powers France and the United Kingdom following World War One.
Al Qaeda officials have also alleged to have agreed that the animatronic Cheney is in fact clearly responsible for far more death and destruction than Bin Laden ever was given the hundreds of thousands of people who have died since the Iraq invasion, authorised by the Halliburton enhanced theme park attraction, is several times the number killed in every single Al Qaeda operation ever launched.
Area Man enters the digital age with a move from the 70's
I finally got an MP3 player. My job involves some data entry and I like to listen to music as I do. But the music function on the CD player in the PC died so that put an end to that, especially given logging a job with the deodorant challenged* IT lads means it takes three months to fix. So we went out to JBs and entered the 21st century.
Got to say, I am impressed. 1 gig, and at 10 albums I only filled up a quarter of it. Muchos way cool.
Today I was listening to 'Wish you were here', one of the better Floyd albums. I was data entrying away, ticka-tacking on the keyboard when one of the kewl riffs kicked in.
I started to air guitar. It was a good 10 seconds before I realised I had the left hand out, and the right hand wagging fingers above my right wing beloved fat tummo.
Needless to say I was shocked.
I forget what show I saw it on, but someone said something along the lines of 'your guitar face looks identical to your sex face.'
I never new that. But it's bad news for any sex partner, presuming they can find my pin cock since I am fat and nothing I say is worth shit all on account of my being fat, because it turns out my guitar face is my screwing my eyes shut and biting my upper lip whilst nodding my head up and down.
That's not a good sex face.
Got a sex face? Then share. If you don't know just air guitar and let it flow.
===========
*Man that guy stunk. He was fixing a PC on the other side of the partition and his mutant 'valet from Seinfeld' funk sent its stink tendrils across on to my side. I was eating at the time. Fully put me off.
Got to say, I am impressed. 1 gig, and at 10 albums I only filled up a quarter of it. Muchos way cool.
Today I was listening to 'Wish you were here', one of the better Floyd albums. I was data entrying away, ticka-tacking on the keyboard when one of the kewl riffs kicked in.
I started to air guitar. It was a good 10 seconds before I realised I had the left hand out, and the right hand wagging fingers above my right wing beloved fat tummo.
Needless to say I was shocked.
I forget what show I saw it on, but someone said something along the lines of 'your guitar face looks identical to your sex face.'
I never new that. But it's bad news for any sex partner, presuming they can find my pin cock since I am fat and nothing I say is worth shit all on account of my being fat, because it turns out my guitar face is my screwing my eyes shut and biting my upper lip whilst nodding my head up and down.
That's not a good sex face.
Got a sex face? Then share. If you don't know just air guitar and let it flow.
===========
*Man that guy stunk. He was fixing a PC on the other side of the partition and his mutant 'valet from Seinfeld' funk sent its stink tendrils across on to my side. I was eating at the time. Fully put me off.
More dodgy old mates
Bless the people that collect trolleys in giant car parks. Bless them. It's manual labour which I won't do. In fact once I got sacked from cotton chipping I was that fucked at it. I really do suck if it involves physical effort.
So I say this with kindness.
If you are a trolley man, and you are working in a dank multistory carpark where it can get a little dark, and you do clearly have a fluoro vest. How about you wear it around your torso like you are meant to as opposed to wearing it as an arse cape. Just in case I don't see it as I back my car out.
So I say this with kindness.
If you are a trolley man, and you are working in a dank multistory carpark where it can get a little dark, and you do clearly have a fluoro vest. How about you wear it around your torso like you are meant to as opposed to wearing it as an arse cape. Just in case I don't see it as I back my car out.
Dodgy Old Mate Fully Goes The Upsk!rt
I use the ! for an i due to google purposes since I don't want that to tag on my blog.
Anyway as I was walking near the escalator in Westfields I saw attractive legs go past me upward. My attention flickered for a second, then stopped as it had clearly passed the dodgy area of looking.
Not the old mate in front of me. It was beautiful. He looked like a tilted head clown you used to stick ping pong balls in at the show. Terrific stuff. He clearly didn't give a shit that people could see him looking.
Anyway as I was walking near the escalator in Westfields I saw attractive legs go past me upward. My attention flickered for a second, then stopped as it had clearly passed the dodgy area of looking.
Not the old mate in front of me. It was beautiful. He looked like a tilted head clown you used to stick ping pong balls in at the show. Terrific stuff. He clearly didn't give a shit that people could see him looking.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
I dance to theme songs
It's true. I have an array of dances. My top three are Four Corners, the X-Files theme, and Sesame Street.
Speaking of tools
Grinning hard man Tony Abbott, whose smiling reminds me of deep sea fish that have those special lips to allow extra long fang to slot safely back into their head and not their brain, had a fit in the SMH today about how 'questions on Ruddy's character are important.'
The pious frequent guest of Cardinal Pell (who lies about it unless confronted by direct evidence) and proud 'I didn't abort my son, I gave him away to strangers .... whoops wasn't even mine' parent and a health minister who can't put his portfolio above his religion had a nice little spray on Rudd, not to mention some classic Abbott whining about how unfair it was for people to regard their 'let's throw shit at him' as dirty pool.
Check it out here
I especially love this bit "Rudd was smart enough not to respond in Parliament, where advertent inaccuracy would be a hanging offence."
Hanging offence eh Tony? Tell me Abbott, when was the last minister to walk in your horrid little NW style gossip muck raking government for misleading parliament? I can't think of one. Are you saying it never, ever happened? I think you are.
I also love this "It can't claim to have adopted all the Government's popular policies while simultaneously repudiating all its unpopular ones, especially when unpopular decisions on workplace relations and privatisation have been essential for today's prosperity."
Yep, because workplace relations and privatisation have been essential to the economy have they? Wouldn't have anything at all to do with the hard work Labor put in fixing your bosses fucked up stint as the boy treasurer would it? Remember the Howard Black Hole? Something like 16 billion in today's terms and about three times that that Beasley was alleged to have left?
Tell me Abbott, when Howard said in Japan that 'Australia was able to withstand the 1997 Asian meltdown because of it's terrific economy' and given you got in back in 1996, are you honestly saying that you guys put your shoulders to the wheel and FIXED IT ALL IN ONE YEAR WITH YOUR MIGHTY TOOLS.
Now whose trying to live in a fucking log cabin.
The pious frequent guest of Cardinal Pell (who lies about it unless confronted by direct evidence) and proud 'I didn't abort my son, I gave him away to strangers .... whoops wasn't even mine' parent and a health minister who can't put his portfolio above his religion had a nice little spray on Rudd, not to mention some classic Abbott whining about how unfair it was for people to regard their 'let's throw shit at him' as dirty pool.
Check it out here
I especially love this bit "Rudd was smart enough not to respond in Parliament, where advertent inaccuracy would be a hanging offence."
Hanging offence eh Tony? Tell me Abbott, when was the last minister to walk in your horrid little NW style gossip muck raking government for misleading parliament? I can't think of one. Are you saying it never, ever happened? I think you are.
I also love this "It can't claim to have adopted all the Government's popular policies while simultaneously repudiating all its unpopular ones, especially when unpopular decisions on workplace relations and privatisation have been essential for today's prosperity."
Yep, because workplace relations and privatisation have been essential to the economy have they? Wouldn't have anything at all to do with the hard work Labor put in fixing your bosses fucked up stint as the boy treasurer would it? Remember the Howard Black Hole? Something like 16 billion in today's terms and about three times that that Beasley was alleged to have left?
Tell me Abbott, when Howard said in Japan that 'Australia was able to withstand the 1997 Asian meltdown because of it's terrific economy' and given you got in back in 1996, are you honestly saying that you guys put your shoulders to the wheel and FIXED IT ALL IN ONE YEAR WITH YOUR MIGHTY TOOLS.
Now whose trying to live in a fucking log cabin.
What is it about right wing fuckwits resorting to personal attacks
I am a fairly honest person. I admit my failings. Fuck, if you look above you'll see my physical descriptive is not a flattering self portrayal. Nor should it be. I am all those things. People who know me in real life know this.
I've just had a third right wing fuckwit call me fat (see Miss P's blog). So that's Iain (deleted), David Tan (on Iain's deluded rantfest), and now some other tool who thinks that everything about Islam is scary and that they all have bomb belts under their burqas (comedic exaggeration) and that Islam is the most evil thing that has ever happened and ... and ... and Arabs do nothing all day but beat their women.
Yes, I am fat. It's up there in the mast for all to see. In fact if you did a search of fat, obese, BMI, fatty fatty fat fat, and morbid (love that word) you'll see I've posted on it before. Yes I am a fat person. Yes, I regard it as a personal failing. But no, it does in no way undercut my politics or my views on non fat related topics. Unless of course you're a right wing fuckwit who has barely graduated from calling someone with glasses four eyes.
But then what do you expect of people who hang around the selfish side of the political spectrum where at the end of the day they're fearful and feel threatened and don't want to share. Oh and feel their personal morality should be everyone else's morality and that if you don't know Bradman's average score then you should be deported.
Fuckwits.
I've just had a third right wing fuckwit call me fat (see Miss P's blog). So that's Iain (deleted), David Tan (on Iain's deluded rantfest), and now some other tool who thinks that everything about Islam is scary and that they all have bomb belts under their burqas (comedic exaggeration) and that Islam is the most evil thing that has ever happened and ... and ... and Arabs do nothing all day but beat their women.
Yes, I am fat. It's up there in the mast for all to see. In fact if you did a search of fat, obese, BMI, fatty fatty fat fat, and morbid (love that word) you'll see I've posted on it before. Yes I am a fat person. Yes, I regard it as a personal failing. But no, it does in no way undercut my politics or my views on non fat related topics. Unless of course you're a right wing fuckwit who has barely graduated from calling someone with glasses four eyes.
But then what do you expect of people who hang around the selfish side of the political spectrum where at the end of the day they're fearful and feel threatened and don't want to share. Oh and feel their personal morality should be everyone else's morality and that if you don't know Bradman's average score then you should be deported.
Fuckwits.
The Fatuous Toad Speaks
Australia's most opinionated opinionist, Piers Akerman, has received his writing orders from Dear Leader's Palace to join in on the 'Rudd's a lying shit heap' plan the Libs have to combat the fact Rudd and the ALP are presenting a clear articulate and desirable alternative to a collection of truth evading bigoted little snake weasels.
Here's Piers.
Nice one Piers. I can't wait for your similar searing portrayal of the Howard childhood where his petrol station owning dad fronted for corrupt businessmen who screwed PNG citizens out of their own land to grow cash crops. Oh wait, you said nothing about that at all. What a biased tool.
Here's Piers.
Thanks to Crikey for the excerpt. You can find the original here.[T]he official coronial record makes it clear that Bert Rudd was involved in a single car accident in late December, 1968, after spending an afternoon playing bowls and drinking beers and whiskies and a dinner at which he had more beers before he attempted to drive the 120km home.
About 3am his car swerved to the wrong side of the road and hit a power pole. He suffered massive internal injuries and despite a number of major operations over a seven-week period, died on February 12, 1969, in the Royal Brisbane Hospital…
Kevin Rudd's memory, however, is that "there were great concerns about the calibre of the surgeons who were operating on him toward the end of his period in hospital".
Indeed, he told Channel Nine's Ellen Fanning he'd like to know exactly what their skills were and what happened to them professionally "because I've heard reports that some of them were subsequently removed from medical practice. I'd like to know the truth of that one day but I've not had the time to check it out."
It's a pity he did not check because the coroner's report contains no suggestion of medical malpractice.
The story of the Rudd family's eviction is core to the myth of Kevin Rudd's earliest beginnings – and it seems untrue…
Nice one Piers. I can't wait for your similar searing portrayal of the Howard childhood where his petrol station owning dad fronted for corrupt businessmen who screwed PNG citizens out of their own land to grow cash crops. Oh wait, you said nothing about that at all. What a biased tool.
Twatwatch - some fuckwit
"I believe homosexual acts between two individuals are immoral and that we should not condone immoral acts"
General Pace, current head of the Joint Chiefs in the US Defense Department.
See SMH article here
Unfortunately the homophobic Pace doesn't understand much about gays and the gay lifestyle. This military life is attractive for many gays. Masculine atmospheres, men in uniform, exercise, the outdoors, good clean fun. And bum sex. Lots of it. In fact I'd hazard in the defence forces probably more gays than the general population. Indeed under Don't Ask Don't Tell where provided a soldier, sailor, airman shut the fuck up about their love they dare not speak of, no one cared, more gays have been booted from the US Armed Services for being gay than before it came in. For the simple fact gays are tired of having to pretend not to be gay because of homophobic fuck knuckles like General Pace.
In Australia, in around 1992, the then federal government quietly gave the ban on gays the heave ho. Gays have even managed to get equality of sorts, by having interdependent relationships recognised (though spousal support is yet to happen). And in 1992 certain fuckwits on the Liberal side of the house screamed about how 'the sky would fall' and there would be mass resignations because they'd opened the flood gates to poofos and lessos.
I believe the end result was that of the thousands of people that separated during the next couple of years, based on exit interviews (though I can't recall the name of the Senate paper where they said this) a total of two people resigned over the issue - both NCOs who'd been in since the year dot.
So here we have it. A world where the US is struggling to meet recruitment targets for a purely volunteer force, yet they still have naked phobia and bans on people being gay in a frankly very gay environment.
I just finished reading 'A Deserter's Tale' by Joshua Ley. It would rank up there with Dispatches by Michael Herr as a surreal retelling of fucked up shit that happens in war when there is a systematic failure of command and of training. Where soldiers still get told that the stab dummy for bayonet practice is a rag head, where they're told ALL Iraqis are the enemy, where they raid countless thousands of houses, terrify families, insult their honour, steal from them, and where they kill innocents with almost no repercussions. And they fucking wonder why they had problems with the insurgency growing.
I tell you what Pace. What's more immoral. Letting a man who likes deep throating cock into the military (as opposed to going down on a good old country girl) who happens to be a patriot and wants to serve with honour or having four soldiers laugh as they kick around the heads of some civilians they just murdered.
Bum chums any day my friend.
General Pace, current head of the Joint Chiefs in the US Defense Department.
See SMH article here
Unfortunately the homophobic Pace doesn't understand much about gays and the gay lifestyle. This military life is attractive for many gays. Masculine atmospheres, men in uniform, exercise, the outdoors, good clean fun. And bum sex. Lots of it. In fact I'd hazard in the defence forces probably more gays than the general population. Indeed under Don't Ask Don't Tell where provided a soldier, sailor, airman shut the fuck up about their love they dare not speak of, no one cared, more gays have been booted from the US Armed Services for being gay than before it came in. For the simple fact gays are tired of having to pretend not to be gay because of homophobic fuck knuckles like General Pace.
In Australia, in around 1992, the then federal government quietly gave the ban on gays the heave ho. Gays have even managed to get equality of sorts, by having interdependent relationships recognised (though spousal support is yet to happen). And in 1992 certain fuckwits on the Liberal side of the house screamed about how 'the sky would fall' and there would be mass resignations because they'd opened the flood gates to poofos and lessos.
I believe the end result was that of the thousands of people that separated during the next couple of years, based on exit interviews (though I can't recall the name of the Senate paper where they said this) a total of two people resigned over the issue - both NCOs who'd been in since the year dot.
So here we have it. A world where the US is struggling to meet recruitment targets for a purely volunteer force, yet they still have naked phobia and bans on people being gay in a frankly very gay environment.
I just finished reading 'A Deserter's Tale' by Joshua Ley. It would rank up there with Dispatches by Michael Herr as a surreal retelling of fucked up shit that happens in war when there is a systematic failure of command and of training. Where soldiers still get told that the stab dummy for bayonet practice is a rag head, where they're told ALL Iraqis are the enemy, where they raid countless thousands of houses, terrify families, insult their honour, steal from them, and where they kill innocents with almost no repercussions. And they fucking wonder why they had problems with the insurgency growing.
I tell you what Pace. What's more immoral. Letting a man who likes deep throating cock into the military (as opposed to going down on a good old country girl) who happens to be a patriot and wants to serve with honour or having four soldiers laugh as they kick around the heads of some civilians they just murdered.
Bum chums any day my friend.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Buying p0rn in newsagents
We have a friend that used to work at one. When I did buy p0rn at a news agent I always made sure to buy something with it. I am apparently not alone. Top choices for the combo purchase were gum, tic tacs (all at the counter), and New Idea.
Because they last thing you want the clerk to thing is that you purposely came in to buy a wank mag. And really what you are saying is 'I am worried about my breath and also ... I might have a pull later.'
Because they last thing you want the clerk to thing is that you purposely came in to buy a wank mag. And really what you are saying is 'I am worried about my breath and also ... I might have a pull later.'
So Kelvin's a grub is he?
The Shadow Attorney General got pinged for writing a reference for a drug dealer (not knowing who he was but giving the stock standard reference anyway). He resigned. Downer, at his most prissy (and this man can pris for the country), declared there was always something grubby about him and that he lacked judgement.
Judgement being the Krusty word of the Libs this year. As Crikey have reported the High School Debate club of the Liberal Party that sets attack phrases has elected to use Judgement against the ALP. The same way they used the word Trust (oh the irony) in the 2004 election.
Judgement this, judgement that. Judgement, judgement, judgement. Mostly political judgement it seems as opposed to attacking the alternative government's better policies (disclaimer: Mikey is a member of the ALP).
Anway, the grubby reference. I wonder if Downer thinks dickheads in his party who own shares in companies to do with their portfolio who who they have spruiked for in parliament or smuggled money in their underpants for (Santoro / Lightfoot) showed poor judgement and are grubby? I'd say he should. Indeed this is Crikey's take on it today.
Anyway, the Libs. Stay tuned for more of the same. They can't argue against policy (their policies suck especially WorkChoices - which they did not take to the people in the last election but bought in when an ALP preference deal in Vic blew up in their face). Interest rates low is out since it went up four times. They can only play the man/men/women.
So watch the mud fly. Hateful mofos.
Judgement being the Krusty word of the Libs this year. As Crikey have reported the High School Debate club of the Liberal Party that sets attack phrases has elected to use Judgement against the ALP. The same way they used the word Trust (oh the irony) in the 2004 election.
Judgement this, judgement that. Judgement, judgement, judgement. Mostly political judgement it seems as opposed to attacking the alternative government's better policies (disclaimer: Mikey is a member of the ALP).
Anway, the grubby reference. I wonder if Downer thinks dickheads in his party who own shares in companies to do with their portfolio who who they have spruiked for in parliament or smuggled money in their underpants for (Santoro / Lightfoot) showed poor judgement and are grubby? I'd say he should. Indeed this is Crikey's take on it today.
Alexander Downer wasn't to blame for the AWB fiasco.
Peter Reith hardly ever misused his phonecard. Don't mention children overboard.
John Howard really believed there were weapons of mass destruction.
Mark Vaile was at arm's length from AWB too.
Ross Lightfoot never talked shares with Brian Burke.
Neither did David Johnston.
Santo Santoro gave his gains to charity.
Poor Kelvin Thomson and Ian Campbell. Somehow only they were headed in the wrong direction.
They have a graphic of a moral compass with the bad arrow pointing at the ALP. Not pictured cause it's like a copyright thing.Anyway, the Libs. Stay tuned for more of the same. They can't argue against policy (their policies suck especially WorkChoices - which they did not take to the people in the last election but bought in when an ALP preference deal in Vic blew up in their face). Interest rates low is out since it went up four times. They can only play the man/men/women.
So watch the mud fly. Hateful mofos.
Attraction
Today us walking buds talked about attraction. Now bless the walking buds, they're good people. But their perception on the influence of attraction is somewhat warped since as a man and a woman, both of them are quite attractive. Techno looks a little like Carlos from Desperate Housewives, Cassmalo looks like one of those pretty librarians who doesn't need to take off her glasses and shake hair to reveal beauty.
I on the other hand am the skin to their shirts as it were. On the opposite side of the fence. I am not a pretty person. Normalish in the face, but I gots me an apple shaped body that looks like when Jeremy Irons impersonated a fat monk in The Man in the Iron Mask and strapped Leonardo Dicaprio to his belly to smuggle him out.
Anyway, attraction in regards to sex, pure sex, as opposed to liking someone as the package ie enjoying them as a person irrespective of their sexual attraction as a potential sex partner, I argue is very important. But its important is stressed more depending on the sexual identity you posses. In my experience, from personal life, from reading, movies, TV, etc is as follows - from most to least important.
Gay guys
Hetro girls
Hetro boys
Gay girls
Feel free to rate them yourself. But for me it seems gay guys are very focussed on outward appearance. Gym bodies, smelling nice, clothes, being fit etc. Slobbo fatties do not cut it in the gay community. I'm guessing it's the glory hole for them as far as anonymous sex attempts goes (thank you for that Sarah).
Hetro girls I believe are more focussed on the attractive side of their potential sex partner. Because they are the gate keeper. As in all they really have to do, unless they are rank, is simply turn up. With a greater pool of potential partners to potentially draw on therefore attraction obviously makes its way up the ladder. This I think explains why my total sexual partners in my entire life has been 1.5. The .5 being able to see B, but not allowed to slot A into B.
Hetro guys are next because at the end of the day, given enough potential, I think our sex drive is such that we're pretty much up for it whenever. And if free sex were offered, and you weren't swanning around the street looking like Carlos from Desperate Housewives, you take what you're given. Remember, you're the keymaster as a hetro guy and you can only cross the gate when the gate keeper says yes. Ergo, less import for us.
Finally, least import I think is gay girls. I am basing this solely on lesbian sightings, the really hard core lesbians, where it's obvious that overalls, short haircuts, arm and leg hair, bulkiness, and all those other stereotypical images of non porn related lesbians we see and hear, indicate that looks are not that important.
Now, for actual partners. As in liking both outside and in, then yes I agree Attractiveness probably becomes a lesser consideration. But it's still there. Especially for guys. There's this bit in Harry Met Sally where Harry says 'Men can't be friends with women because sex gets in the way'. I think that's partially true. You can as a man be friends with a woman you're attracted to, but at the back of your mind you do still see them as a sexual being, even if you're with someone and they're with someone. And if your partners out to the shops and you decide to go for one of your 3.7's a week there's a chance for those that do, that friends who they recognise as sexually attractive might make an appearance in their Turning Japanese moment (variety after-all is a life spice). And I suppose if they let this momentary appearance get out of control it can colour the friendship potentially - especially if they are the Heather Locklear of such moments. And of course should A) a friend be feeling vulnerable and B) alcohol is present and C) then A can slot into B in reality.
Monogamy is a cultural affectation in the west. Plenty of cultures have dabbled with multiple partners at a time. We're living longer too (no more dying at 37 like in medieval times). And with a sexualised media where men and women in advertising are actually representative of 0.05% of the population, and where sexual imagery dominates prime time, here in the west I argue sexual attraction can lead to a lot of confusion and angst, regret, temptation, lust, and longing etc. And unhappy relationships too I suppose where someone might feel their missing out on something because the shiny suited David Jones man has one foot on a rock and a jacket slung over their shoulder hanging off the crook of a sexy muscular finger.
Anyway, my 0.02 is this. Sexual identities rate looks more important than others. And in my experience my hetro female friends, you're worse than us.
So nyar.
I on the other hand am the skin to their shirts as it were. On the opposite side of the fence. I am not a pretty person. Normalish in the face, but I gots me an apple shaped body that looks like when Jeremy Irons impersonated a fat monk in The Man in the Iron Mask and strapped Leonardo Dicaprio to his belly to smuggle him out.
Anyway, attraction in regards to sex, pure sex, as opposed to liking someone as the package ie enjoying them as a person irrespective of their sexual attraction as a potential sex partner, I argue is very important. But its important is stressed more depending on the sexual identity you posses. In my experience, from personal life, from reading, movies, TV, etc is as follows - from most to least important.
Gay guys
Hetro girls
Hetro boys
Gay girls
Feel free to rate them yourself. But for me it seems gay guys are very focussed on outward appearance. Gym bodies, smelling nice, clothes, being fit etc. Slobbo fatties do not cut it in the gay community. I'm guessing it's the glory hole for them as far as anonymous sex attempts goes (thank you for that Sarah).
Hetro girls I believe are more focussed on the attractive side of their potential sex partner. Because they are the gate keeper. As in all they really have to do, unless they are rank, is simply turn up. With a greater pool of potential partners to potentially draw on therefore attraction obviously makes its way up the ladder. This I think explains why my total sexual partners in my entire life has been 1.5. The .5 being able to see B, but not allowed to slot A into B.
Hetro guys are next because at the end of the day, given enough potential, I think our sex drive is such that we're pretty much up for it whenever. And if free sex were offered, and you weren't swanning around the street looking like Carlos from Desperate Housewives, you take what you're given. Remember, you're the keymaster as a hetro guy and you can only cross the gate when the gate keeper says yes. Ergo, less import for us.
Finally, least import I think is gay girls. I am basing this solely on lesbian sightings, the really hard core lesbians, where it's obvious that overalls, short haircuts, arm and leg hair, bulkiness, and all those other stereotypical images of non porn related lesbians we see and hear, indicate that looks are not that important.
Now, for actual partners. As in liking both outside and in, then yes I agree Attractiveness probably becomes a lesser consideration. But it's still there. Especially for guys. There's this bit in Harry Met Sally where Harry says 'Men can't be friends with women because sex gets in the way'. I think that's partially true. You can as a man be friends with a woman you're attracted to, but at the back of your mind you do still see them as a sexual being, even if you're with someone and they're with someone. And if your partners out to the shops and you decide to go for one of your 3.7's a week there's a chance for those that do, that friends who they recognise as sexually attractive might make an appearance in their Turning Japanese moment (variety after-all is a life spice). And I suppose if they let this momentary appearance get out of control it can colour the friendship potentially - especially if they are the Heather Locklear of such moments. And of course should A) a friend be feeling vulnerable and B) alcohol is present and C) then A can slot into B in reality.
Monogamy is a cultural affectation in the west. Plenty of cultures have dabbled with multiple partners at a time. We're living longer too (no more dying at 37 like in medieval times). And with a sexualised media where men and women in advertising are actually representative of 0.05% of the population, and where sexual imagery dominates prime time, here in the west I argue sexual attraction can lead to a lot of confusion and angst, regret, temptation, lust, and longing etc. And unhappy relationships too I suppose where someone might feel their missing out on something because the shiny suited David Jones man has one foot on a rock and a jacket slung over their shoulder hanging off the crook of a sexy muscular finger.
Anyway, my 0.02 is this. Sexual identities rate looks more important than others. And in my experience my hetro female friends, you're worse than us.
So nyar.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Dummies guide to wearing of Burqas
For some reason right wingers, morons, and plain bigots fear the mighty burqa as if it will come to life and wrap around them like in some sort of freakish cartoon. Eg dickheads like Bronwyn Bishop and many others in her "party".
Anyway, Miss P has written an excellent snapshot on the cultural/religious nature of the outfit in question and it is well worth a read - see here.
Anyway, Miss P has written an excellent snapshot on the cultural/religious nature of the outfit in question and it is well worth a read - see here.
I hate
Haircuts
Clothes shopping (not fun for the fat - ever)
Vacuuming when the fucking vacuum incredibly starts blowing instead of fucking sucking you piece of sourced from Godfrey's piece of shit.
Oh - apparently if you take your 'still under warranty' vacuum to Godfrey's for repair they don't have a loaner available to cover you in its absence. Because that's too much fucking client service in a shop filled with fucking vacuum cleaners.
Clothes shopping (not fun for the fat - ever)
Vacuuming when the fucking vacuum incredibly starts blowing instead of fucking sucking you piece of sourced from Godfrey's piece of shit.
Oh - apparently if you take your 'still under warranty' vacuum to Godfrey's for repair they don't have a loaner available to cover you in its absence. Because that's too much fucking client service in a shop filled with fucking vacuum cleaners.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Hot Fuzz
See it. It's awesome. A combo of dead pan policing, general hilarity, and extreme over the top comedic violence.
By the same guys from Shaun of the Dead.
HM gives it 3.141 out of pi
By the same guys from Shaun of the Dead.
HM gives it 3.141 out of pi
Holy fucking shit I won!
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See you later losers. I'm quittin' work too. And livin' the high life. Hmm Amsterdam eh? I wonder if I can get it in prostitutes and reefer?
See you later losers. I'm quittin' work too. And livin' the high life. Hmm Amsterdam eh? I wonder if I can get it in prostitutes and reefer?
Greens the only ones to respond
I sent some thoughts RE Hicks to four separate pollies recently. Two labor, Bartlett, and Bob Brown.
Only Bob Brown's staff bothered to respond.
Kudos Bob Brown's staff, kudos.
Only Bob Brown's staff bothered to respond.
Kudos Bob Brown's staff, kudos.
Male Toilet
So it's got a big pulsating cock hanging out the wall next to the trough as I walk in does it? Because I looked for it and could not see it.
Stupid misnaming. It's not a male toilet. It's the gents, or the men's, or iterations thereof. Why not Men's Toilet? Same number of characters purchased. Actually correct in usage.
Stupid misnaming. It's not a male toilet. It's the gents, or the men's, or iterations thereof. Why not Men's Toilet? Same number of characters purchased. Actually correct in usage.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Hicks; Feather in Cap / Black Eye
In Catch 22 the CO is obsessed with getting feather's in his cap. But he's always cursed with black eyes instead.
Black eye for Hicks is that the US has finally given him a date for the arraignment. Which I believe, as far as my base legal knowledge goes, is where a judge hears pleas, then determines if there is enough evidence to go to trial. It's a fait accompli that there's enough evidence. Because A) they've had five years to cook it up and B) they can use hearsay evidence and I believe evidence gained under duress up to a certain date. And if it's one thing people do under torture it's telling their torturers what they think they want to hear.
Feather in his cap. His Ozzer lawyers have convinced a Federal court that the government does have a case to answer for in regards to their complete abrogation of their responsibilities as a government in looking after Ozzers that fuck up overseas. Even nasty minded homophobic fanatical extremists.
Of late the right in this country, distilled in certain key figures mostly in the Murdoch press, but ring ins from Fairfax as well (mostly Gerard “Former completely acknowledged staffer to John Howard” Henderson) have been fixating on Hicks the man as opposed to Hicks the legal situation. They even asked why our same sex preferred brethren had a float in the Mardi Gras given fanatical extremists in Islam’s hatred of all things guy on guy and lesbian related. ‘Why can you support a man that thinks this?’ many of them shriek, as they hold photos of Hicks with a rocket launcher from a completely different conflict (where as irony would have it the Muslims were the good guys).
Because it’s not about Hicks the man. Sure, his Defence have played the ‘adventurous youth mixed up in the wrong crowd’ card. And they should play that card because they know public opinion is important in possibly winning him a get out of jail free without having to go to trial. But for most of us it’s not about Hicks the man. It’s about Hicks the symbol. He is what we all could be if government goes unfettered and unchallenged in its constant desire to take away what we have fought for. The right to think what we want and to know what crimes were are facing and to have the legal protections available to us when we go through a criminal process.
This government in Australia, and the government in the US, have shamelessly exploited the fear of fundamentalist terror to erode civil rights in an effort to politically entrench themselves, and even started a fucking war that killed hundreds and thousands of people, most of who would be alive to day if it had not happened. Even if under a despicable regime.
So yes. I support Hicks. I support Hicks because he’s ours. He may be a son of a bitch but he’s our son of a bitch. And he should not, must not, be left to rot by fucking arseholes on the conservative thug right so they can win elections and distort the will and the good nature of the people they offensively govern.
Oh, by the way. Howard gave an interesting definition of 'almost daily' today when he admitted he'd spoke to Bush exactly twice this year, once in January and once in February. Not quite 'almost daily' is it you trecherous lying thug.
Black eye for Hicks is that the US has finally given him a date for the arraignment. Which I believe, as far as my base legal knowledge goes, is where a judge hears pleas, then determines if there is enough evidence to go to trial. It's a fait accompli that there's enough evidence. Because A) they've had five years to cook it up and B) they can use hearsay evidence and I believe evidence gained under duress up to a certain date. And if it's one thing people do under torture it's telling their torturers what they think they want to hear.
Feather in his cap. His Ozzer lawyers have convinced a Federal court that the government does have a case to answer for in regards to their complete abrogation of their responsibilities as a government in looking after Ozzers that fuck up overseas. Even nasty minded homophobic fanatical extremists.
Of late the right in this country, distilled in certain key figures mostly in the Murdoch press, but ring ins from Fairfax as well (mostly Gerard “Former completely acknowledged staffer to John Howard” Henderson) have been fixating on Hicks the man as opposed to Hicks the legal situation. They even asked why our same sex preferred brethren had a float in the Mardi Gras given fanatical extremists in Islam’s hatred of all things guy on guy and lesbian related. ‘Why can you support a man that thinks this?’ many of them shriek, as they hold photos of Hicks with a rocket launcher from a completely different conflict (where as irony would have it the Muslims were the good guys).
Because it’s not about Hicks the man. Sure, his Defence have played the ‘adventurous youth mixed up in the wrong crowd’ card. And they should play that card because they know public opinion is important in possibly winning him a get out of jail free without having to go to trial. But for most of us it’s not about Hicks the man. It’s about Hicks the symbol. He is what we all could be if government goes unfettered and unchallenged in its constant desire to take away what we have fought for. The right to think what we want and to know what crimes were are facing and to have the legal protections available to us when we go through a criminal process.
This government in Australia, and the government in the US, have shamelessly exploited the fear of fundamentalist terror to erode civil rights in an effort to politically entrench themselves, and even started a fucking war that killed hundreds and thousands of people, most of who would be alive to day if it had not happened. Even if under a despicable regime.
So yes. I support Hicks. I support Hicks because he’s ours. He may be a son of a bitch but he’s our son of a bitch. And he should not, must not, be left to rot by fucking arseholes on the conservative thug right so they can win elections and distort the will and the good nature of the people they offensively govern.
Oh, by the way. Howard gave an interesting definition of 'almost daily' today when he admitted he'd spoke to Bush exactly twice this year, once in January and once in February. Not quite 'almost daily' is it you trecherous lying thug.
HM discovers he does not like the salty sweet coppery taste of his own blood
The toilets near my work station are always breaking down. They keep running after the cistern fills. Given they assigned desert cubes to the urinals to save on flushing you'd think they'd fix it. Or just maybe the plumber fixes it just enough so they work a little longer and have to call them back.
Anyway, the cistern on one of them was still filling when I left for the day. I usually punch the side of said cistern and it stops filling. Most of the time it works. Today I gave it a flat hander.
I was horrified to see I had knocked a large chip out of the cistern lid. But it was close of business and I wanted to go home. So I decided to report it tomorrow.
A co-worker lent me a book - Grisham's 'The Broker' so I was walking to my car with it and I decided to have a flick through. I went to open it and discovered it was smeared in blood. This freaked me out. I looked at my hand. I didn't realise it at the time but I had sliced open the webbing between forefinger and thumb and it was bleeding all down my palm.
The book had one of those gloss covers that doesn't absorb liquids that well. So I knew I could clean it off. But it wasn't rubbing off liked I hoped. So I did the only thing I could.
I licked it clean.
Hence the tasting my own blood. Which was not pleasant.
Anyway, the cistern on one of them was still filling when I left for the day. I usually punch the side of said cistern and it stops filling. Most of the time it works. Today I gave it a flat hander.
I was horrified to see I had knocked a large chip out of the cistern lid. But it was close of business and I wanted to go home. So I decided to report it tomorrow.
A co-worker lent me a book - Grisham's 'The Broker' so I was walking to my car with it and I decided to have a flick through. I went to open it and discovered it was smeared in blood. This freaked me out. I looked at my hand. I didn't realise it at the time but I had sliced open the webbing between forefinger and thumb and it was bleeding all down my palm.
The book had one of those gloss covers that doesn't absorb liquids that well. So I knew I could clean it off. But it wasn't rubbing off liked I hoped. So I did the only thing I could.
I licked it clean.
Hence the tasting my own blood. Which was not pleasant.
You know you're a blogger when ...
... something stupid / annoying / funny / embarrassing / trite / dangerous / etc happens to you and one of your first reactions is 'I am so going to blog that'.
Der...
I'm watching four corners (the repeat from 5 March). It's on prisoners in the community once they're out of jail.
It boggles the fucking mind at how little support ex cons get when they get out. And the rub is this. With support they are far less likely to re-offend. Feeding/housing prisoners cost tens of thousands each a year when inside ($63,000 according to four corners). So anything we can do to reduce numbers and still protect the community you'd think would just be good policy.
But politics gets in the way. Because pollies do not like to be seen being 'kind to prisoners'.
Except it's not being kind to help them because in reality if they're less likely to offend it saves us money and people being the victims of crime - a point made by victims of crime organisations.
We spend 1% of corrective services budgets on looking after ex cons and helping them on their feet.
Fuck me, we can be blindly stupid sometimes. We're victims alright. Victims of politics of fear instead of hope. And unfortunately the ALP does it as well as the Coalition. Which as an ALPer makes me annoyed.
Least four corners reported that the Victorians improved their assistance and as a result reoffending dropped significantly.
Again I say der.
It boggles the fucking mind at how little support ex cons get when they get out. And the rub is this. With support they are far less likely to re-offend. Feeding/housing prisoners cost tens of thousands each a year when inside ($63,000 according to four corners). So anything we can do to reduce numbers and still protect the community you'd think would just be good policy.
But politics gets in the way. Because pollies do not like to be seen being 'kind to prisoners'.
Except it's not being kind to help them because in reality if they're less likely to offend it saves us money and people being the victims of crime - a point made by victims of crime organisations.
We spend 1% of corrective services budgets on looking after ex cons and helping them on their feet.
Fuck me, we can be blindly stupid sometimes. We're victims alright. Victims of politics of fear instead of hope. And unfortunately the ALP does it as well as the Coalition. Which as an ALPer makes me annoyed.
Least four corners reported that the Victorians improved their assistance and as a result reoffending dropped significantly.
Again I say der.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Oh it's fucking vodafone not vodaphone
Curse my stupidity in assuming fucking companies don't fuck with the queen's English to come up with some stylised fucked up iteration phonetic spelled word for marketing purposes.
I suppose the one saving grace is if you google 'Vodaphone Tracksuit' HM is the No 1 blog.
Ditto Harrangueman - given I spelled fucking Harangue wrong when I created it.
And another thing. I hate the word 'Lite'. Hate it! It's light. Not lite. Or nite. Who thought of that? Some Dikhehd.
I suppose the one saving grace is if you google 'Vodaphone Tracksuit' HM is the No 1 blog.
Ditto Harrangueman - given I spelled fucking Harangue wrong when I created it.
And another thing. I hate the word 'Lite'. Hate it! It's light. Not lite. Or nite. Who thought of that? Some Dikhehd.
Sparrows
The other day at work I went to Social Club Lady and asked if I could lock up our fun fridge later that night since I was staying late.
'I'm here until the opposite of sparrows,' I said, referring to the oft used replacement of the word dawn by the name of a small bird. 'Which,' I added. 'Would be er ...'
I paused because for the life of me I could not think of something that would signify an opposite to sparrows.
'Bats?' said Social Club Lady.
Perfect. From now on, if you're staying up late, then you're staying up until Bats.
NOTE: I am aware Bats is not an actual opposite of a Sparrow, but it's a pretty cool line nonetheless.
'I'm here until the opposite of sparrows,' I said, referring to the oft used replacement of the word dawn by the name of a small bird. 'Which,' I added. 'Would be er ...'
I paused because for the life of me I could not think of something that would signify an opposite to sparrows.
'Bats?' said Social Club Lady.
Perfect. From now on, if you're staying up late, then you're staying up until Bats.
NOTE: I am aware Bats is not an actual opposite of a Sparrow, but it's a pretty cool line nonetheless.
Flint Laden gets new cave car
Gaunt, tall Arab terrorist on dialysis, Osama Bin Laden, has been gifted with a new form of inter cave transport according to AQ sources.
‘Bin just loves his new cave car,’ gushed Mohammed Falasai, wanted demolitions expert responsible for the bombing deaths of French engineers in Karachi. ‘And the beautiful thing is that it is 100% carbon neutral.’
Bin Laden, noted environmentalist, said that while he wished to be more mobile within the cave bunker where he’d been since 2001, he did not want to be a gas guzzler and cause damage to the planet.
‘Bin Laden said it’s no good having a caliphate that stretches across the globe if we’re nearly dead from global warming,’ said Falasai. ‘So given that, he’s demanded we become green wherever possible. With that restriction we elected to go with a muscle powered transport system, that not only got Bin places, but gave him much needed exercise.’
Laden said he’d taken his new car, affectionately named Dick for the Vice Satan, for a spin around the empty cistern of Tora II and said the vehicle handled beautifully once you got it up to speed with a dozen paces.
Left: Bin Laden cave tests Dick
‘Ha,’ said Bin Laden, or Flint Laden as his crew affectionately termed their spiritual ‘kill them all and let Allah sort them out’ leader. ‘I’d like to see a Hummer take me on in this bad boy. It’s kinetic power is worth two IEDs!’
‘Bin just loves his new cave car,’ gushed Mohammed Falasai, wanted demolitions expert responsible for the bombing deaths of French engineers in Karachi. ‘And the beautiful thing is that it is 100% carbon neutral.’
Bin Laden, noted environmentalist, said that while he wished to be more mobile within the cave bunker where he’d been since 2001, he did not want to be a gas guzzler and cause damage to the planet.
‘Bin Laden said it’s no good having a caliphate that stretches across the globe if we’re nearly dead from global warming,’ said Falasai. ‘So given that, he’s demanded we become green wherever possible. With that restriction we elected to go with a muscle powered transport system, that not only got Bin places, but gave him much needed exercise.’
Laden said he’d taken his new car, affectionately named Dick for the Vice Satan, for a spin around the empty cistern of Tora II and said the vehicle handled beautifully once you got it up to speed with a dozen paces.
Left: Bin Laden cave tests Dick
‘Ha,’ said Bin Laden, or Flint Laden as his crew affectionately termed their spiritual ‘kill them all and let Allah sort them out’ leader. ‘I’d like to see a Hummer take me on in this bad boy. It’s kinetic power is worth two IEDs!’
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Rolled Gold Posts
Art's post on scienciness_1, and scienciness_2.
Esp worth it for the graphic he found in the second one. I rarely snort. That made me snort.
Esp worth it for the graphic he found in the second one. I rarely snort. That made me snort.
Blow Out Big Time
As an Uncle Fatty BMI 40+ I tend to have to get gear for the taller man and crop it on down for my short arse wear. I also have a tendency to wear away the material of my crotch from constant rubbing.
Okay ... I mean my legs - being fatto legs - rub together wearing away material until it is almost see thru.
Today, whilst at all places (in a govie car no less), McDonald's, I felt the cool touch of easily wiped plastic on my heavy set thighs.
It'd seemed my pants had chosen that moment to die.
I seriously considered driving home to get a new pair but I didn't know if the car was booked next to I elected to return to work. I went and showed my boss.
'Check this out,' I said grabbing at my inner thigh to try and twist the rip around to show her.
Yep, her. I really should have explained what I was doing before I did it...
Anyway, the pants blow out. It could have been a lot worse.
My greatest blow out of all time was at the roller rink. Yep, I am old enough to have been to a roller rink - with roller skates as opposed to blades. You know the four wheels side by side instead of in a row like sand people (to hide their numbers).
It was one of those Sport option things they made us select in school (like tethered swimming). Only, not really an option, I had to do it. I was wearing those horrid thick grey shorts – the ones with the inbuilt change purse slit on the top right hand side.
Being flat footed (like Hobbit feet they is), wearing roller skates (and ice skates and roller blades) is quite the challenge since my footsies don’t squeeze in to the loaner shoes meets locomotion very well. I fall arse over tit a lot when I wear them.
Which is, naturally, what I did. Windmill arms across the concrete and bang straight on my arse. The resulting impact – with my puffy puppy fat weight behind it – split the shorts from waist hem front to waist hem back. They looked like a pacman sitting on his face. And, as luck would have it, I was wearing those tiny undies you were as a puberty inflicted boy that are ultra specially embarrassing when seen by the Terri’s and Sherri’s of your year.
So pinching them closed, and sitting with legs tighter than a Catholic girl on her first date, I some how made it back to school without too many people pointing and going the Haw, Haw.
Blessed with a reasonably large brain that for the most part was spent generating endless batches of role playing characters (did you know bics were hexi shaped and thus could be a d6 in a pinch?), I put it to good use and figured the nice ladies who taught domestic duties down near the industrial arts block could six million dollar man up my ripped shorty shorts and render my crotch once more protected by more than one layer of cloth.
And bless their blue rinse cotton socks they were indeed able to resurrect those shorts to survive at least the bus ride home.
Anyway, it was very embarrassing. And to this day no one knows my dark crotch revealing secret. No one.
(blows out candle)
Okay ... I mean my legs - being fatto legs - rub together wearing away material until it is almost see thru.
Today, whilst at all places (in a govie car no less), McDonald's, I felt the cool touch of easily wiped plastic on my heavy set thighs.
It'd seemed my pants had chosen that moment to die.
I seriously considered driving home to get a new pair but I didn't know if the car was booked next to I elected to return to work. I went and showed my boss.
'Check this out,' I said grabbing at my inner thigh to try and twist the rip around to show her.
Yep, her. I really should have explained what I was doing before I did it...
Anyway, the pants blow out. It could have been a lot worse.
My greatest blow out of all time was at the roller rink. Yep, I am old enough to have been to a roller rink - with roller skates as opposed to blades. You know the four wheels side by side instead of in a row like sand people (to hide their numbers).
It was one of those Sport option things they made us select in school (like tethered swimming). Only, not really an option, I had to do it. I was wearing those horrid thick grey shorts – the ones with the inbuilt change purse slit on the top right hand side.
Being flat footed (like Hobbit feet they is), wearing roller skates (and ice skates and roller blades) is quite the challenge since my footsies don’t squeeze in to the loaner shoes meets locomotion very well. I fall arse over tit a lot when I wear them.
Which is, naturally, what I did. Windmill arms across the concrete and bang straight on my arse. The resulting impact – with my puffy puppy fat weight behind it – split the shorts from waist hem front to waist hem back. They looked like a pacman sitting on his face. And, as luck would have it, I was wearing those tiny undies you were as a puberty inflicted boy that are ultra specially embarrassing when seen by the Terri’s and Sherri’s of your year.
So pinching them closed, and sitting with legs tighter than a Catholic girl on her first date, I some how made it back to school without too many people pointing and going the Haw, Haw.
Blessed with a reasonably large brain that for the most part was spent generating endless batches of role playing characters (did you know bics were hexi shaped and thus could be a d6 in a pinch?), I put it to good use and figured the nice ladies who taught domestic duties down near the industrial arts block could six million dollar man up my ripped shorty shorts and render my crotch once more protected by more than one layer of cloth.
And bless their blue rinse cotton socks they were indeed able to resurrect those shorts to survive at least the bus ride home.
Anyway, it was very embarrassing. And to this day no one knows my dark crotch revealing secret. No one.
(blows out candle)
Vodaphone Tracksuit attacks Drizabone
Howard’s Closet; Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, today suffered violence within his clothing storage area when his former favourite, his Vodaphone tracksuit attacked its replacement garb, Howard’s drizabone.
Left: The tracksuit, in happier times.
The tracksuit, which has featured in numerous photo opportunities where the media have been invited to cover Howard clad in the famous yellow-green logo clad sportswear whilst fast walking to show his virility or for 4 am sporting events where the PM can be seen cheering on whatever sporting team is within snifters of the public consciousness, has reportedly been shelved, with the new focus tested and approved Ozzer rainwear taking its place.
‘The PM’s wife was alerted to the violence when she heard muffled snarling and barking coming from within the first closet,’ said a Kirribilli valet – the Howards residing in the Sydney Harbourside mansion having spurned the actual official Prime Ministerial residence at a significant additional annual cost to the tax payer in wages, infrastructure and security upgrades, and jet travel between the state and Federal capitals. ‘And when she opened the door she saw the vodaphone tracksuit was slamming into the drizabone in an effort to tear out it’s leathery tasting throat.’
Left: The king is dead; long live the king; Howard's latest preferred electorially friendly wear.
The drizabone, that quintessential icon of the Quiet Achieving Australian recently featured on the new improved ‘non whiteys out unless you is ozzer’ website for the Liberal party, the ironically named ultra conservative political group that has ruled Australia for the past decade and transformed it from a fair go culture to one of self-interest. And it was this ‘taking the crown’ as it were that caused the Vodaphone Tracksuit to attack its younger more virile rival.
‘The PM’s wife was hysterical. She grabbed the squirter bottle she uses on the first cats to keep them off the first pot plants, and when that didn’t work she was forced to resort to the first broom in an effort to separate them,’ said the valet.
The PM’s wife then engaged the services of Marlana Dsx, a professional service provider of quality wardrobe re-arranging policy advice, whose Senate Estimates disclosure of costing the tax payer $82,960 in fees, or the equivalent of a two night Howard stay in a Rome hotel, was regarded by the first, and dare we say bestest ever couple, as worth every cent.
‘The Vodaphone tracksuit has a special place in Howard’s tiny stone heart,’ said the valet. ‘So he didn’t want to get rid of it – after-all trying to rip out the throat of a love rival is hardly a hanging offence, as indeed neither is running public service departments where systemic failures of governance have occurred nor is owning two million shares in industries in the very portfolios you have ministerial responsibility for.’
As a result, Ms Dsx placed a wooden partition - costing $42,000 - separating 'Election 2004 and older' wear from pre-2007 election wear, allowing Mr Howard to superbly arrange his rejuvenated clothing to present an image of confidence, Australiana, and all rounder Ozzerness to his beloved hard core ‘We grew here, youse flew here/No Tabouli’ super patriotic supporters.
Left: The tracksuit, in happier times.The tracksuit, which has featured in numerous photo opportunities where the media have been invited to cover Howard clad in the famous yellow-green logo clad sportswear whilst fast walking to show his virility or for 4 am sporting events where the PM can be seen cheering on whatever sporting team is within snifters of the public consciousness, has reportedly been shelved, with the new focus tested and approved Ozzer rainwear taking its place.
‘The PM’s wife was alerted to the violence when she heard muffled snarling and barking coming from within the first closet,’ said a Kirribilli valet – the Howards residing in the Sydney Harbourside mansion having spurned the actual official Prime Ministerial residence at a significant additional annual cost to the tax payer in wages, infrastructure and security upgrades, and jet travel between the state and Federal capitals. ‘And when she opened the door she saw the vodaphone tracksuit was slamming into the drizabone in an effort to tear out it’s leathery tasting throat.’
Left: The king is dead; long live the king; Howard's latest preferred electorially friendly wear. The drizabone, that quintessential icon of the Quiet Achieving Australian recently featured on the new improved ‘non whiteys out unless you is ozzer’ website for the Liberal party, the ironically named ultra conservative political group that has ruled Australia for the past decade and transformed it from a fair go culture to one of self-interest. And it was this ‘taking the crown’ as it were that caused the Vodaphone Tracksuit to attack its younger more virile rival.
‘The PM’s wife was hysterical. She grabbed the squirter bottle she uses on the first cats to keep them off the first pot plants, and when that didn’t work she was forced to resort to the first broom in an effort to separate them,’ said the valet.
The PM’s wife then engaged the services of Marlana Dsx, a professional service provider of quality wardrobe re-arranging policy advice, whose Senate Estimates disclosure of costing the tax payer $82,960 in fees, or the equivalent of a two night Howard stay in a Rome hotel, was regarded by the first, and dare we say bestest ever couple, as worth every cent.
‘The Vodaphone tracksuit has a special place in Howard’s tiny stone heart,’ said the valet. ‘So he didn’t want to get rid of it – after-all trying to rip out the throat of a love rival is hardly a hanging offence, as indeed neither is running public service departments where systemic failures of governance have occurred nor is owning two million shares in industries in the very portfolios you have ministerial responsibility for.’
As a result, Ms Dsx placed a wooden partition - costing $42,000 - separating 'Election 2004 and older' wear from pre-2007 election wear, allowing Mr Howard to superbly arrange his rejuvenated clothing to present an image of confidence, Australiana, and all rounder Ozzerness to his beloved hard core ‘We grew here, youse flew here/No Tabouli’ super patriotic supporters.
Kewl Beans - cited by two fine bloggers
Mr Lefty very kindly cited the post RE the Drizabone featuring new Liberals website a couple of days ago, and now Oz Politics (presumably via seeing it at Mr Lefty) likewise stuck a link on their piece.
Well. I think it's cool. Even if makes me a giant panama hat and dark glasses wearing selfo.
Well. I think it's cool. Even if makes me a giant panama hat and dark glasses wearing selfo.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Fox Po
Today I committed yet another memorable clanger. A friend of mine tragically lost her husband of 40+ years while he was overseas. This week is his memorial service. At the tail end of her email was the comment 'you may even see me in a dress', as said friend rarely wears dresses.
I emailed back my commiserations, as you do, then tail ended my telling her I would be there with 'it will be worth it to see you in a dress'.
Only after did I send it did I realise it could have been read 'the memorial service will be worth it to see you in a dress'. As in your husband died so we mayeth see you in a dress.
I couldn't let it go. And knowing Microsoft Outlook recall is especially useless I decided to simply email back and say 'obviously I meant going to the service will be worth it to see you in a dress.' Which simply compounded it all I think.
I sure can blurt these things out.
I told the walkin' buds at lunch. They laughed at me.
And they were right to do it!
I emailed back my commiserations, as you do, then tail ended my telling her I would be there with 'it will be worth it to see you in a dress'.
Only after did I send it did I realise it could have been read 'the memorial service will be worth it to see you in a dress'. As in your husband died so we mayeth see you in a dress.
I couldn't let it go. And knowing Microsoft Outlook recall is especially useless I decided to simply email back and say 'obviously I meant going to the service will be worth it to see you in a dress.' Which simply compounded it all I think.
I sure can blurt these things out.
I told the walkin' buds at lunch. They laughed at me.
And they were right to do it!
Shut up or I will charge you
According to Fairfax papers, but denied by the officer in question (on SBS news tonight), the prosecutor of Hicks has suggested Michael Mori, the only saving grace and last skerrick representative of the US as the 'Home of the Brave/Free' in the US federal/military justice system, be charged for his passionate defense of Hicks and attacks on the current government's flawed system.
You see as a lawyer defending a client to the best of his ability he has to keep his fat yapper shut. If you needed yet another reason for why these commisions are a flagrant shit stain on a proud legal tradition, there you have it. Defence lawyers can't critique laws which are patently unfair.
What a bunch of scumwads.
You see as a lawyer defending a client to the best of his ability he has to keep his fat yapper shut. If you needed yet another reason for why these commisions are a flagrant shit stain on a proud legal tradition, there you have it. Defence lawyers can't critique laws which are patently unfair.
What a bunch of scumwads.
More Ian Campbell Goodness
I don't even think TT/ACA Ozzers are fooled by Howard's sacking of a Minister over Burke and claiming it was over principle as opposed to politics since his government has failed to get one over Rudd since Kev got the slot as Opposition Leader.
Here's some choice quotes from today's press (paraphrased from TV / Radio for where I don't have a link).
'Howard barely paused to hurdle his [Campbell's] corpse before continuing the attack on Rudd' - ABC reporter on ABC666 this morning.
'Typical of the dessicated coconut, he'll try anything won't he?' - former ALP PM and all time legend Paul Keating on ABC Radio (as shown on SBS news)
'Howard himself admitted that Campbell's offence was "benign". Campbell initially thought the Prime Minister's office was OK with it all when he informed it on Friday. After all, a formal meeting with a delegation in his capacity as the relevant minister was not the same as Rudd having breakfast, coffee and lunch with Burke while West Australian state MPs were banned from any contact with Burke.
Here's some choice quotes from today's press (paraphrased from TV / Radio for where I don't have a link).
'Howard barely paused to hurdle his [Campbell's] corpse before continuing the attack on Rudd' - ABC reporter on ABC666 this morning.
'Typical of the dessicated coconut, he'll try anything won't he?' - former ALP PM and all time legend Paul Keating on ABC Radio (as shown on SBS news)
'Howard himself admitted that Campbell's offence was "benign". Campbell initially thought the Prime Minister's office was OK with it all when he informed it on Friday. After all, a formal meeting with a delegation in his capacity as the relevant minister was not the same as Rudd having breakfast, coffee and lunch with Burke while West Australian state MPs were banned from any contact with Burke.
Furthermore, Rudd was unable to clearly recollect details of what had been said and who organised what.
Campbell was the first minister sacked since Howard's first term. In the intervening period, Howard has made it a point of pride to stand beside ministers accused of far worse transgressions, including lying, ineptitude, deceit or corruption. But as Howard showed on Saturday, he is prepared to eat his own in his pursuit of Rudd.' - Phillip Coorey in today's smh
Howard on Hicks
From The Today Show (the "In shadow of Sunrise Howard friendly news/presenters are people too Prog" on 9 in the mornings).
"I am very angry Hick's trial has taken so long to happen."
And
"Justice delayed is justice denied."
Chuck in some faux badly timed air-lecturn thumps and it almost looked, almost, like Howard cared for a principle, as opposed to the day to day political survival of his morally bankrupt government.
Yes. He is very angry. Remember how he insistently told the Americans to get Hicks up for trial in the beginning? Remember his constant 'the trial's coming, the trial's coming' and 'military commisions are great m'kay'?
Yep, we do. And hopefully we will all remember some sunny election Saturday in the none too distant future.
"I am very angry Hick's trial has taken so long to happen."
And
"Justice delayed is justice denied."
Chuck in some faux badly timed air-lecturn thumps and it almost looked, almost, like Howard cared for a principle, as opposed to the day to day political survival of his morally bankrupt government.
Yes. He is very angry. Remember how he insistently told the Americans to get Hicks up for trial in the beginning? Remember his constant 'the trial's coming, the trial's coming' and 'military commisions are great m'kay'?
Yep, we do. And hopefully we will all remember some sunny election Saturday in the none too distant future.
Cheney “Getting a Little Chunky” according to Secret Service
The Secret Service, a subunit of the Treasury department given the charge of protection of senior government officials, claims the VP has stacked on some weight of late which is hampering their ability to speedily evacuate their charge.
‘Bald Eagle is very unpopular,’ said an unnamed official. ‘With ratings below 30%, the volume of crank calls and death threats have gone up. And when in doubt regarding a possible attack we’re trained to pick him up bodily, throw him in an armoured stretch [Limousine] and go, go, go. But when the Veep’s packing on some extra pounds it can lead to trouble.’
Cheney’s latest assassination scare at a base in Afghanistan caused one of his accompanying agents shoulder strain as he fireman carried the heavier Veep along concrete tunnels to the bunker.
‘I’ve seen him eat a stack of pancakes with maple syrup and bacon without giving a tinker’s cuss for the people that have to carry him. I mean just because he has an ambulance with him wherever he goes in case he suffers a fifth heart attack is no reason to be complacent with your diet,’ said the ultra-fit agent who had to meet strict physical standards to be part of a presidential detail. ‘Some common sense would be good.’
Concerned at the reduced mobility of Cheney Republicans in the last Congress authorised a US 100 million dollar program under DARPA called "Cheney lift" to develop a special belt and harness with helium pockets that could be triggered to reduce Cheney’s effective weight for carrying, enabling even the smallest agent to simply push him along in the air.
Left: The Veep road tests the "Cheney Lift" Escape/Evasion lifting harness.
Cheney then apparently organised for congressional allies to include a rider in the program to have heart plugs installed in close aides that he could yank should they prove to be troublesome in the future.
‘If Scooter Libby had a plug installed back then we wouldn’t be in this mess now,’ admitted a Cheney official, rubbing his still tender left pectoral.
‘Bald Eagle is very unpopular,’ said an unnamed official. ‘With ratings below 30%, the volume of crank calls and death threats have gone up. And when in doubt regarding a possible attack we’re trained to pick him up bodily, throw him in an armoured stretch [Limousine] and go, go, go. But when the Veep’s packing on some extra pounds it can lead to trouble.’
Cheney’s latest assassination scare at a base in Afghanistan caused one of his accompanying agents shoulder strain as he fireman carried the heavier Veep along concrete tunnels to the bunker.
‘I’ve seen him eat a stack of pancakes with maple syrup and bacon without giving a tinker’s cuss for the people that have to carry him. I mean just because he has an ambulance with him wherever he goes in case he suffers a fifth heart attack is no reason to be complacent with your diet,’ said the ultra-fit agent who had to meet strict physical standards to be part of a presidential detail. ‘Some common sense would be good.’
Concerned at the reduced mobility of Cheney Republicans in the last Congress authorised a US 100 million dollar program under DARPA called "Cheney lift" to develop a special belt and harness with helium pockets that could be triggered to reduce Cheney’s effective weight for carrying, enabling even the smallest agent to simply push him along in the air.
Left: The Veep road tests the "Cheney Lift" Escape/Evasion lifting harness. Cheney then apparently organised for congressional allies to include a rider in the program to have heart plugs installed in close aides that he could yank should they prove to be troublesome in the future.
‘If Scooter Libby had a plug installed back then we wouldn’t be in this mess now,’ admitted a Cheney official, rubbing his still tender left pectoral.
Ha ! Great Minds
Nice to see the SMH has also picked up on the Debbie takes his cues from Mr Burns riff he performed recently (see previous post here)
So what did SMH have to say for themselves on this most amusing topic of Laura Norder meets Animation?
Coalition reveals: we owe this one to Bart
Date: March 5 2007
Damien Murphy
FOR 19 years The Simpsons has offered a handy guide to dealing with modern life but only now is it clear that the Coalition has been employing Bart Simpson after school as a policy adviser.
Peter Debnam's decision to make children as young as 10 held criminally responsible has chilling echoes of a 1991 episode called "Bart the Murderer".
According to The Simpsons Archive, a rather po-faced website at www.snpp.com, "When Bart is accused of having murdered Principal Skinner, he dreams of sitting on the electric chair. This unnatural situation is emphasised by the fact that he was placed upon a pile of telephone books, because he is too small … this is, unlike most episodes of The Simpsons, no exaggeration and quite realistic, as even teenagers can be sentenced to death in the US."
The origin of the Debnam policy is revealed in a conversation between the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Montgomery Burns, and his assistant, Waylon Smithers.
Smithers: "That Simpson boy is looking at 180 years."
Burns: "Thank God we live in a country so hysterical over crime that a 10-year-old child can be tried as an adult."
In the words of Mr Burns ... excellent...
So what did SMH have to say for themselves on this most amusing topic of Laura Norder meets Animation?
Coalition reveals: we owe this one to Bart
Date: March 5 2007
Damien Murphy
FOR 19 years The Simpsons has offered a handy guide to dealing with modern life but only now is it clear that the Coalition has been employing Bart Simpson after school as a policy adviser.
Peter Debnam's decision to make children as young as 10 held criminally responsible has chilling echoes of a 1991 episode called "Bart the Murderer".
According to The Simpsons Archive, a rather po-faced website at www.snpp.com, "When Bart is accused of having murdered Principal Skinner, he dreams of sitting on the electric chair. This unnatural situation is emphasised by the fact that he was placed upon a pile of telephone books, because he is too small … this is, unlike most episodes of The Simpsons, no exaggeration and quite realistic, as even teenagers can be sentenced to death in the US."
The origin of the Debnam policy is revealed in a conversation between the owner of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Montgomery Burns, and his assistant, Waylon Smithers.
Smithers: "That Simpson boy is looking at 180 years."
Burns: "Thank God we live in a country so hysterical over crime that a 10-year-old child can be tried as an adult."
In the words of Mr Burns ... excellent...
The combo aftershock
I don't know if this is an IBS only thing, but today I suffered the combo aftershock. You know, when you go to the toilet to lay down a combo and, ten minutes later, you really have to go again (either another combo or a urethra lodged wee).
TheWife had to sign me in so I could go and, upon alighting from her kind building, I announced I had to go again. In the end she had to drop me off at a petrol station and I had to borrow the key with the large thing on it (why, petrol people, why?) and rid myself of the aftershock.
Anyway, the whole thing shits (and wees) me.
TheWife had to sign me in so I could go and, upon alighting from her kind building, I announced I had to go again. In the end she had to drop me off at a petrol station and I had to borrow the key with the large thing on it (why, petrol people, why?) and rid myself of the aftershock.
Anyway, the whole thing shits (and wees) me.
Rank Stank
That's the wife, fresh from creating a new brand of wordage to label my at home wear with, to describe the odour I put out in this here there computer locatin' room when I bent over to look at the screen. As in I stank so much, it was rank.
Apparently she had to hose the room down with air freshener when I left.
Rank Stank, theWife for 'you smell like a dirty old man.' Not look like, smell like.
What I want to know is, how has she been sampling the geriatric community to come up with that assessment.
Apparently she had to hose the room down with air freshener when I left.
Rank Stank, theWife for 'you smell like a dirty old man.' Not look like, smell like.
What I want to know is, how has she been sampling the geriatric community to come up with that assessment.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Burn
Me - "Hey Hon, I'm just going to change my shirt before I go out. Because I know you like me looking nice."
theWife - "Yes, don't be dressed in any of your scumwear".
Scumwear!?!
theWife - "Yes, don't be dressed in any of your scumwear".
Scumwear!?!
That's Entertainment
Actually, that's desperation.
Caught out by News Ltd (of all people), Senator Ian Campbell fell on his sword after admitting to a benign meeting with the notorious Brian Burke (ex ALP Premier, stamp thief, corrupt lobbyist).
A minor no nothing meeting according to even Howard.
So why did he fall on his sword?
Well the simple reason is Rudd. The Libs have not been able to lay a glove on him over his meetings with Burke, and Rudd’s candid ‘I did a bad thing, I am sorry’ kind of took the wind out of their gibbering and shrieking and trying to paint Rudd like he was some sort of fedora clad bagman with brown bags’o’cash. Especially coming from a government who just made it so you didn’t have to disclose donations of $9999 or less to their political coffers.
So poor old Campbell had no place to go but sepuku land so the coalition can maintain their pathetic "outrage" over Rudd's apparent meeting with former party figures in a party context.
I wonder what Campbell gets out of it? I’d say he will get a parl sec position by the next shuffle and be back on the bench soon after that. Or he will go out at the next election and become one of those shiny men overseas for government and queen as an ambassador. Especially given his previous “good works” in the environment portfolio. Assuming Howard gets back in.
My favourite part of all of this is this. Howard hasn’t sacked a minister since the dark days of 1998 when they were all falling by the wayside thanks to the violations of his (Howard’s) much vaunted Code of Conduct (which was later dropped because too many people were falling by the wayside). Yet Downer, who presided over a Department whose culture was such that they looked the other way with the AWB spent 300 million of Iraqi people’s money on lining the pockets of Saddam, and Ruddock whose department illegally deported people and locked up Australian citizens, get to stay while Campbell walks into the snow after declaring ‘he may be some time’.
Like I said, that’s desperation.
Another fine Simpson's moment
Brought to you by the only party ensuring we have Mainstream Values.
"Springfield will have its first annual "Do What You Feel" Festival this
Saturday, whenever you feel like showing up! It'll be a welcome change
from our annual, "Do As We Say" Festival started by German settlers in
1946."
- Bart's Inner Child
Hicks could get time served 'eh?
The Howard government, finally twigging to fucking on someone who is innocent unless proven guilty (ie gets his day in court), is frantically trying to defuse Doctor's Wives and other assorted intelligentsia who *might* vote their way, and releasing nice teasers like this (from today's SMH).
A senior government source intimate with the Hicks case told the Herald there was a good chance that in return for a guilty plea the time Hicks had served would ensure his release.
Under the military commissions process there is no such thing as time served. Detention without trial cannot count towards a sentence under this shit stain of a legal system. So given that if Hicks cops guilty and is let out what this in effect means is he released from detention without punishment. As in not 'been punished for what he did', but simply let go.
Remember people he was the worst of the worst etc.
All this is, is nothing more than a giant politically charged face saving exercise by a government who have been sucking at the terrorist teat for so long that the milk has turned.
My trusty groat is now on the table. Here it is. Hicks will be out before the 2007 Federal election. Which is good. But it still sticks in my craw that it will not be because what happened to him was injustice, as per 'information gleaned via torture' for Jack Thomas' original trial, but because a cowardly fucking hateful government didn't want to upset those constituents who actually bothered to write to their member and say 'this is fucked'.
I just hope these same people don't forget this happened when the election rolls around.
A senior government source intimate with the Hicks case told the Herald there was a good chance that in return for a guilty plea the time Hicks had served would ensure his release.
While any plea bargain would have to be sorted out between Hicks's lawyers and the Convening Authority, it would be an outcome that was not only probable but acceptable to the Government, the source said.
The Attorney-General, Philip Ruddock, while not commenting on the specifics of any plea bargain, said an agreement would be a good option for all concerned.
Typical too that Australia's greatest failure as both an Immigration/do as we say minister and Attorney General thinks the plea bargain for time served is a hum dinger. Because that way he's already been punished! All without the trickiness of the fact he did not get a fair day in court the entire time he was banged up.
Here's the rub special secret super source close to the government with an extra helping of Ruddock.Under the military commissions process there is no such thing as time served. Detention without trial cannot count towards a sentence under this shit stain of a legal system. So given that if Hicks cops guilty and is let out what this in effect means is he released from detention without punishment. As in not 'been punished for what he did', but simply let go.
Remember people he was the worst of the worst etc.
All this is, is nothing more than a giant politically charged face saving exercise by a government who have been sucking at the terrorist teat for so long that the milk has turned.
My trusty groat is now on the table. Here it is. Hicks will be out before the 2007 Federal election. Which is good. But it still sticks in my craw that it will not be because what happened to him was injustice, as per 'information gleaned via torture' for Jack Thomas' original trial, but because a cowardly fucking hateful government didn't want to upset those constituents who actually bothered to write to their member and say 'this is fucked'.
I just hope these same people don't forget this happened when the election rolls around.
Friday, March 02, 2007
The Hicks Follies Continue With No End In Sight
I felt the header deserved Capital Case.
News in today that the female, that's right female, judge (easier on the eye, wink/wink), has elected to formally charge Hicks with just the material support to terror crime what he done whilst waiting for a bus in jolly old Arab land.
See here
Funny that the charge of Attempted Murder didn't make it huh?
Terry Hicks managed to get to talk to Howard on radio (luckily for him Howard loves his radio) and Howard naturally responded to the complaint of 'it's a retroactive law' by saying it had been on the books since 1994, and said the other charge had been dropped because it could not be proven.
Perhaps in normal US law it was on the books Mr Howard. But not in the war commission environment Hicks is being charged in. So, if that is the case PM, why doesn’t the US simply bring David into US territory (as opposed to their indefinitely "leased" part of Cuba which don't count even though it's a perpetual arrangement as long as the US gives Cuba something like $1000 a year) and charge him with that crime in the normal legal sphere where he would be entitled to correct legal protections such as not being subject to hearsay and other beyond the pale kick to the balls crap the festy commissions let in willy nilly?
Oh I see. I just answered my own question.
What a despicable toad of a man. I want to know that why is it that when he jams his tongue so far up the crevice of Bush why he can't wind it back just for a moment and say honestly 'Look George, we have to talk, it turns out I am a complete total arsehat of a skunk for leaving this man out to dry for base political purpose while I suck the votes of disaffected fearful moron McMansion owning dumb-arses.'
I think I just answered that question too.
News in today that the female, that's right female, judge (easier on the eye, wink/wink), has elected to formally charge Hicks with just the material support to terror crime what he done whilst waiting for a bus in jolly old Arab land.
See here
Funny that the charge of Attempted Murder didn't make it huh?
Terry Hicks managed to get to talk to Howard on radio (luckily for him Howard loves his radio) and Howard naturally responded to the complaint of 'it's a retroactive law' by saying it had been on the books since 1994, and said the other charge had been dropped because it could not be proven.
Perhaps in normal US law it was on the books Mr Howard. But not in the war commission environment Hicks is being charged in. So, if that is the case PM, why doesn’t the US simply bring David into US territory (as opposed to their indefinitely "leased" part of Cuba which don't count even though it's a perpetual arrangement as long as the US gives Cuba something like $1000 a year) and charge him with that crime in the normal legal sphere where he would be entitled to correct legal protections such as not being subject to hearsay and other beyond the pale kick to the balls crap the festy commissions let in willy nilly?
Oh I see. I just answered my own question.
What a despicable toad of a man. I want to know that why is it that when he jams his tongue so far up the crevice of Bush why he can't wind it back just for a moment and say honestly 'Look George, we have to talk, it turns out I am a complete total arsehat of a skunk for leaving this man out to dry for base political purpose while I suck the votes of disaffected fearful moron McMansion owning dumb-arses.'
I think I just answered that question too.
Guess where the 2007 election is headed...
Check out Tooty McToot bringing out the dog whistle for the mother of all elections this year. Howard, complete with (and I can't believe this - wait - yes I can) a fucking drizabone proclaiming his love of all things mainstream. Mainstream values.
Yes people because in our conglomerate society (conglomerate being the only word of use I remember from year 10 geology) we have mainstream values. Which translate for the most part it seems as 'whitey whitey white white' values. Things like 'we're a Christian country; our genesis is in Judeo-Christian whitey whitey white white and we should all adhere to it' spring to mind from the verbal poo froth he and his party have spewed forth. Actually Oz’s faith was an animist belief pre-literate structure that was wiped out by 'whitey whitey white white' settlement and replaced with said values that, from what I understand of history of European settlement, weren't actually up there with the Xtian Ethos. For example driving Koori's off cliff tops and giving them unpleasant diseases, and stringing up Chinese miners.
But, it's okay people, because John Howard and his Aussie-Aussie-Aussie-Oi-Oi-Oi wear (perhaps bought from Jackie Kelly or the good people at Vodaphone) is here to ensure brown people and yellow people and white people with funny talkin' voices all adhere to Australian values of not accepting bad things we've done in history, promoting a military defeat as the afterbirth of our nation, and making sure to wrap dog turds in a flag and call them fucking patriots.
Howard is the master of the culture war split. And as can be seen with his 'Mainstream' bull twang we face an election along those lines.
His crawly bum licking ital in the above graphic should really read 'The question that will be asked repeatedly over the next 12 months is which side of politics can make you poo scared of brown people with funny voices and strange names who don’t believe the same things we do, such as sending our daughters out dressed in a pair of rubber bands to get rooted off their tits on lolly water then claim their drinks were spiked.’ *
I don’t doubt it’s the coalition with their ‘run, Muslims are coming.’ (as former Liberal Party head Malcolm Fraser would happen). But get this. In 2006 Howard’s tongue glove Bush ran on the same ‘they is bad and we’s got’s to shoots them deid’ platform, even labelling (and I kid you not) a vote for the opposition as a vote for terror, and lost.
So perhaps, just perhaps even the aspirational 20% swingers that pollute the political landscape with their ‘me, me, fucking me’ mindset might actually look beyond the ragheads under the bed and vote for a party that offers a generational change for the better.
Well, here’s hoping.
DISCLAIMER: Mikey is a paid up member of the ALP.
*In no way am I being misogynistic. Women can wear what the fuck they want, when they want. Like it and lump it people. At the same time however I dislike cultural forces that distort body image for people where they think flashing your drunken lady parts at photographers like a special Bendy legged Bratz is a plus for their self esteem.
Where Laura Norder has Debbie around for a sleep over
Increasingly shrill voiced 'lock 'em up with anything' Peter "Debbie" Debnam has come out with another corker a few weeks out from the election. The charging 10 years olds with crimes.
Currently the prosecution has to be able to prove the kids know right from wrong. Debbie wants that taken away (see here). Fuck me. When I was ten I was still playing with toy soldiers in the attic. I did not have the full set of cards in my deck. And I came from a loving, educated, middle class household.
Imagine growing up in a crowded house where no one works where there's no adult role models where the parents don't know how to be parents then, having cooked and bubbled in this environment, you do commit a crime and fuckwits like Debbie want to chuck the book at you. The smarmy patrician prick.
The funniest thing is how much this latest and greatest policy from nutty right wing land resembles something said by Mr Burns.
Currently the prosecution has to be able to prove the kids know right from wrong. Debbie wants that taken away (see here). Fuck me. When I was ten I was still playing with toy soldiers in the attic. I did not have the full set of cards in my deck. And I came from a loving, educated, middle class household.
Imagine growing up in a crowded house where no one works where there's no adult role models where the parents don't know how to be parents then, having cooked and bubbled in this environment, you do commit a crime and fuckwits like Debbie want to chuck the book at you. The smarmy patrician prick.
The funniest thing is how much this latest and greatest policy from nutty right wing land resembles something said by Mr Burns.
Burns and Smithers read the newspaper...
Smithers: That Simpsons boy is looking at 180 years.
Burns: Thank God we live in a country so hysterical over crime that a
ten-year-old child can be tried as an adult.
From Bart the MurdererPlease NSW voters, vote 1 for Debbie. You know it makes
sense to open the legal system up to include locking up
yet more children as opposed to diversionary practices
which are meant to dissuade them from engaging in
crime in the first place.
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