Well I should have had my Internet back up and running yesterday. The operative words being "Should Have". Sick from post surgery related badness (severe constipation) I decided I could spend my time waiting to have a shit productively and called Optus to find out what the fuck was happening.
"Nick" looked up my account. In his own mangled way he managed to inform me our switch on date was now 4 December.
What. The. Fuck.
Our landline was connected on 23 November. Optus were now saying it would be 4 December until the internet was restored. I told Nick in no uncertain terms I was a tad upset given the fucking forecast had been two working days - not seven. "Nick" kept using my name in an effort to calm me down. "Yes Mikey I understand Mikey but you see Mikey the database number Mikey is fixed Mikey" before adding a double Mikey for good measure. News flash "Nick". When attempting to calm an irate customer don't overdo the dropping of the name because it will fucking shit them.
So end result was three additional phone calls to various segments of the Optus worm, repeating my fucking customer fucking details every single fucking time, getting a mix of Ozzers and Indians, all with anglo names, and eventually, eventually I found someone that appeared to know what they were talking about.
Let's call him "Sam".
After his colleague "Lucy" failed to call back as promised RE shifting the date earlier, I called the correct area again and got "Sam". "Sam" said the reason why was because Optus leased the slot on the exchange for south side DSL and it was Telstra who set the date of connection because apparently it involved an actual technician doing something actually technical - you know how well Telstra have done with the tech side since they were privatised by the now rightly fucked off into the discard pile Howard government. All Optus could do was politely ask if they could possibly, and only if you know it wasn't a bother old bean, hurry THE FUCK UP.
"Sam"'s explanation made sense and I accepted it. The thing is if Optus had FUCKING TOLD ME THAT THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKING EXPEC - FUCKING - TATIONS OF GETTING MY FUCKING INTERNET UP IN TWO FUCKING WORKING FUCKING DAYS.
So to all those considering ISPs do not get Optus. They are fucking fucked. And yes, the moment my internet is restored, I will be fucking Optus off. If you have an ISP you are happy with let HM know and he will scope out their package.
PS Blogging more normally from 4 December thanks to fucking Optus.