Thursday, November 29, 2007

Fvcking Optus II

Well I should have had my Internet back up and running yesterday. The operative words being "Should Have". Sick from post surgery related badness (severe constipation) I decided I could spend my time waiting to have a shit productively and called Optus to find out what the fuck was happening.

"Nick" looked up my account. In his own mangled way he managed to inform me our switch on date was now 4 December.

What. The. Fuck.

Our landline was connected on 23 November. Optus were now saying it would be 4 December until the internet was restored. I told Nick in no uncertain terms I was a tad upset given the fucking forecast had been two working days - not seven. "Nick" kept using my name in an effort to calm me down. "Yes Mikey I understand Mikey but you see Mikey the database number Mikey is fixed Mikey" before adding a double Mikey for good measure. News flash "Nick". When attempting to calm an irate customer don't overdo the dropping of the name because it will fucking shit them.

So end result was three additional phone calls to various segments of the Optus worm, repeating my fucking customer fucking details every single fucking time, getting a mix of Ozzers and Indians, all with anglo names, and eventually, eventually I found someone that appeared to know what they were talking about.

Let's call him "Sam".

After his colleague "Lucy" failed to call back as promised RE shifting the date earlier, I called the correct area again and got "Sam". "Sam" said the reason why was because Optus leased the slot on the exchange for south side DSL and it was Telstra who set the date of connection because apparently it involved an actual technician doing something actually technical - you know how well Telstra have done with the tech side since they were privatised by the now rightly fucked off into the discard pile Howard government. All Optus could do was politely ask if they could possibly, and only if you know it wasn't a bother old bean, hurry THE FUCK UP.


So to all those considering ISPs do not get Optus. They are fucking fucked. And yes, the moment my internet is restored, I will be fucking Optus off. If you have an ISP you are happy with let HM know and he will scope out their package.

PS Blogging more normally from 4 December thanks to fucking Optus.

ALP win in a near landslide ... Liberals in disarray ...

And a big sucked shit to the Howard Hugger Opinionists (Sheehan, Akerman, Bolt, Devine, Flint, Henderson etc ad nauseam), that infest our National dallies like trench lice.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Well ... see ya!

Hopefully by Wed I am back online. Have a good day later today y'all. Let's hope it's a good one.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Hold on Bernie

Bernie Banton is on the way out. This man spent the past several years enduring a very painful medical condition and during that time did his utmost to look out for those people in a similar position. If you had to point to someone as an example of heroism it would be him.

His family is with him now and he's expected to pass on very soon. I just hope he can last long enough to see the ALP cross the line tomorrow and boot Howard et al to the curb. If of course they don't win then hopefully Bernie won't have to know.

Hang in Bernie.

Optus: Screwed us again

Unbelievably it takes Optus two working days to get your phone on after the previous occupant disconnects and, from there up to three days for your broadband to be re-established only once your connection is through.

The end result is that tonight is the last night I have have internet access. I likely won't have it again until I'd say Thursday.

Yes I am aware I should have arsed Optus when I moved house but it was just too difficult with all the things we had to juggle.

Suffice to say it will be annoying not being able to Blog over election night. If we lose and you don't hear from me I haven't taken my life or anything. I'm just denied access. Ditto if we win.

Anyway, in case this is the last blog until mid next week, adios y'all. A massive good luck to those progressive candidates standing for election on the morrow. I am hoping against hope that the average voter has woken up to itself about the Howard government and will give them the arsing they so richly deserve.

The government gazette recommends for Rudd...

Poor old Murdoch papers. They tried and tried and tried and in the end were unable to get the Libs to an overtly winning position. Therefore with Rudd ahead going into the straight, as befitting standard practice, News Ltd are recommending Rudd get a crack at the top job.

See here.

Here's the conclusion;

As Australia's economic centre of gravity shifts north to reflect the mining boom and the rise of Asia, it is fitting that the new Labor leader comes from Queensland. We believe this is a great advantage. ALP leaders from Queensland and Western Australia, more than the southeast of the nation, are attuned to the concerns and aspirations of middle Australia. We believe the incumbent Government has been a good manager but has not done much with the prosperity with which the nation has been blessed during its watch. Mr Howard and his team have a proven track record but, to us, they have run out of energy. Their campaign is a signal of their torpor. Mr Rudd has spoken of recapturing some of the reform zeal of the Hawke and Keating years, the economic benefits of which are still being felt. There is much detail missing from Mr Rudd's promised reform revolution, especially in education and health, but we believe he has the administrative experience to manage constructive change. We recognise that no change is free of risk, but we recommend a vote for Mr Rudd.

Bad luck lads. You tried your best to turn it for Howard but the stubborn old goat wouldn't listen. Interesting times indeed ahead.

David Flint in today's Crikey - Howard will prevail!

7. Flint: El momento de verdad
David Flint writes:

Cockroaches coming out of the operating table, so old it cracks during an operation. A pregnant woman, left in a waiting room for hours, miscarries in a lavatory. While a parliamentary inquiry is hearing this evidence about Sydney’s Royal North Shore, doctors and nurses are complaining because they haven’t been paid. Yet NSW has more health bureaucrats than "needed to run the Kremlin," as one observer puts it. A large number are on an unattached list, and unlike the doctors and nurses they’re paid for doing nothing. It’s the same with transport, water, law and order. This is New South Wales under Labor.

On every indicator, interest, employment, work for the dole, unemployment (including the outsourcing which so enriched the Rudd family), exports, waterfront efficiency, increases in real wages, inflation, taxation, skills measured by the massive increase in the number of apprentices, industrial disputation, immigration policy, border control, indigenous policy, our standing in Asia, our relations with the US and China, Howard is streets ahead of the Hawke/Keating governments.

Over the last decade Australian GDP growth led the Western world. Of course his government isn’t perfect. As the editor of The Australian points out, Howard had the effrontery not to walk for reconciliation, and when it comes to the theory of anthropogenic global warming, he did not immediately and willingly suspend disbelief. (Incidentally could someone tell the editor that Howard was never a suburban lawyer.)

And yet, with the exception of the latest Galaxy, the polls say the same franchise grossly misgoverning NSW and the other states and territories, will tomorrow win a mandate greater than the landslide against the failed Whitlam government. But as Sol Lebovic told Alan Jones today, about one in four voters finally decide in the last week and one in 10 on Saturday.

In the meantime, watching Kevin Rudd on the 7.30 Report was like the news which used to come from Radio Moscow. "The Chairman of the Council of Ministers of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, Comrade Malenkov today met with the President of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR, the Deputy President of the... etc., etc."

The similarity is in filling all available time with waffle. Pointing out that Rudd’s claim to be an economic conservative doesn’t sit well with the fact that he’d voted against every significant economic reform proposed by the Coalition, Kerry O’Brien asked him whether he would now agree that the GST, a growth tax funding the states, was right for Australia. In an exercise in obfuscation which would be the envy of a filibustering Southern Senator, Rudd used just under 800 words to avoid answering the question. That is the size of an opinion piece in a newspaper, and it was typical.

Most viewers would have been lost in following Rudd’s weaving, circumlocutory answers sprinkled with spin, especially the ubiquitous "working families." Perhaps this is the intention. As George Orwell wrote, "The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink."

By way of contrast the program the night before with John Howard was lively, with O’Brien interrupting the Prime Minister frequently. Journalists rarely interrupt Rudd - are they afraid, is it deference, or is it just a continuation of the dream run? The contrast with Howard is remarkable. When the Prime Minister gave an excellent address at the National Press Club, most of the questions were about trivia rather than issues which interest, dare I say, "working families".

Mr Rudd’s plans, which have so dazzled many in the media, are mainly vacuous. Just take the "education revolution" which centres on computers, necessary tools in the modern world. But once, before IT, we had a first rate educational system, which delivered. The evidence is in the numeracy, literacy and knowledge of the older generations. We have slipped behind because state governments have "dumbed down" education at the behest of the teachers unions.

Take another, anthropogenic global warming, where scepticism, the badge of true science, has been declared anathema by the elites. Rudd will ratify the useless Kyoto 1, declared a failure in the respected scientific journal Nature. Fortunately he has lifted Howard’s policy on Kyoto 2, lest vast numbers of jobs be exported overseas, a process begun with Whitlam’s unilateral tariff reductions. Rudd has still committed us to long term carbon emission reductions before any cost benefit analysis was done. We have just learned that the 20% renewable energy target was chosen again without any such analysis. Don’t the editors spot this flaw?

While Rudd fails to submit vast amounts of his proposals to Treasury scrutiny, or delivers them too late, we see a rush of last-minute assurances to counter reservations disclosed in focus groups. Having decided to create 81 new bureaucracies and 119 reviews, he now claims he will take an axe to the bureaucracy. When the Labor-Green alliance really wants an open border policy, and used immigration as a tool to create election fodder, we are now told that Rudd will "turn back boat people," solve the hospital crisis created by State Labor, and put off moving to a republic where the head of state will be yet another politician.

Australians, in that moment of truth tomorrow, are not likely to dispatch one of the best prime ministers in the history of the Commonwealth, merely because of this vacuous puff and spin.


You know the ALP winning this election would be worth it just to stick this up Flint's arse. God I hate right wing Howard Huggers like Flint. But hey, there's just so, so many of them to hate.

Are you people insane?!

An op ed piece by the Kancer Kids

We say this without any hyperbole, John Howard is the greatest leader a country could ever have. He single handedly fixed the economy by agreeing with Labor in the 80's and 90's. His GST protected us from the Asians when they melted. And thanks to his ringing the country with gun boats we were able to stop any muzzies from landing on our shores.

Now you ingrates want to show him the door?! After all he has done? WorkChoices empowered people to find new jobs if their old job did not work out. And if they didn't have the language skills or life circumstances to find better jobs then WorkChoices forced them to develop them or starve or something like that.

It's all about the economy stupids. Who cares what "skills" you need for a modern economy. It's all about what we can till from the soil. We control 10% of the earth's surface! We don't need to know how to do stuff, just dig it up and give it to people who do. Anyone who suggests just because China is about a barbie fart from environmental collapse and therefore there goes the mining boon is nothing but a communist who wants us to fail.

Unions do nothing but encourage people to be satisfied with their lot in life because of protected conditions of employment and salary. A country cannot develop if people know where their next meal is coming from! Lords and serfs - that's the only way. It's in the bible anyway heathens.

So to recap, John Howard is amazing. Everything he's ever done ever has been amazing. And everything anyone has done that he has not agreed with is either a pithy slogan or developed by a unionist.

You people make me sick.

The Kancer Kids

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Hawke likewise sticks it to Howard

From today's Age - here.

The PM continues to misrepresent the truth. He must go

Date: November 21 2007

Bob Hawke

JOHN Howard has advanced three arguments why you should not vote Labor, each one based on a gross misrepresentation of the truth. I will now demolish those arguments, not with opinions but with facts.

First, the trade union bogy. Every working Australian, and those dependent on them, is indebted to the trade union movement. Everything they take for granted that largely makes up their standard and quality of living — their pay structure, paid annual leave, long-service leave, sick leave, penalty rates, equal pay — was fought for and won by the trade union movement.

I can speak with authority on this because for many years I presented before the national Arbitration Tribunal the union case for improvements in wages and conditions. On every occasion when I walked into the court I was confronted with an array of bewigged senior counsel representing the Coalition governments in the states and Canberra, lined up with the employer organisations, to oppose the improvements that trade unions were fighting to obtain for working Australians.

So whose advertisements on industrial relations and WorkChoices are you going to believe? The employer organisations and the Coalition that have consistently used the independent tribunals to deny you any improvements, and who have now neutered those tribunals and the protections they provide for the most needy — or Labor and the trade unions who have argued the cases from which working Australians continue to be the beneficiaries?

As to TV advertisements and the trade unions: what an insult to voters' intelligence is Howard's "union thug" scam. The fact is that in an organisation as vast as the Australian trade union movement there will be some bad apples. (You may remember that when I was prime minister I finished off Norm Gallagher, a union bad apple of his day; Kevin Rudd has shown his readiness to be just as tough.)

But ask the question: what would Howard say if Rudd, in the context of attacking employers' support for WorkChoices, authorised a TV advertisement with a photograph of a businessman, jailed for criminal behaviour for defrauding thousands of senior citizens of their life savings, with the caption "Employer Crooks"?

I conclude my observations on this first Howard misrepresentation, by saying that no institution in this country's history has done more to flesh out and give real meaning to the concept of the "fair go" than the trade union movement.

Second is Howard's economic management myth, that only he and not Labor can be trusted with the economic management of Australia. Again, let me use facts to destroy this grotesque misrepresentation. Who, as treasurer, had responsibility for economic management for more than five years before I was elected on March 5, 1983? John Winston Howard. I knew that he was handing me the worst legacy in terms of unemployment and inflation in Australia's history; both were at 11%. But I didn't know exactly how bad the projected budget deficit was, because he had refused to come clean on this during the campaign.

On Sunday, March 5, I called in the secretary of the Treasury, John Stone, who told me that the projected figure for 1983-4 was $9.6 billion, the largest in our history; equivalent today as a percentage of GDP to more than $40 billion. Stone pointed out that "the budget balance is projected to deteriorate from near zero to more than 6% of GDP in a two-year period. The speed and magnitude of that deterioration is almost without precedent among the major OECD countries in the postwar period". Stone was no Labor stooge — he went on to become a Nationals senator — and his written judgement was that Howard's performance was virtually the worst anywhere in the developed world since 1945.

My government had to rescue an economy wrecked by Howard. We made the tough economic management decisions he had shirked — we reduced tariffs, floated the dollar, introduced competition into the financial and banking sectors and massively stimulated funding in industrial research and development. Central to all this was a great act of institutional self-sacrifice: the trade unions, in return for improvements in health, education and welfare, agreed to forgo increases in wages, and thus increase the competitiveness of Australian industry.

It is the judgement of economists here and in the relevant international institutions that it was the economic management and structural reforms of Labor and the restraint of the trade unions that laid the foundations for the strength of the Australian economy today.

Prime Minister Howard has squandered it again. With the strong economy we handed over and the enormous surge in demand for our resources from Asia, his Government has had unprecedented surpluses to invest in our future, particularly in education and training. But he has utterly failed to do so and thus our future is hamstrung by shortages of skilled tradesmen and professionals.

Third, and in some ways the greatest Howard myth, is his claim about foreign relations and security. Again, look at the facts: joining with his pal, George Bush, in Iraq (described by Lieutenant-General Ricardo Sanchez, former commander of the US-led forces there, as "a catastrophic failure"). It is the unanimous view of the Australian, US and UK intelligence agencies that the war in Iraq has increased the threat of a terrorist attack in our country. Thank you, Prime Minister.

When the facts are examined against the panicked rhetoric of Howard, I suggest there is only one conclusion to which you can come: it is time for him and his Government, with all their misrepresentations of the truth, to be gone.

Bob Hawke was prime minister from 1983-1991.

Penberthy to give Rudd the tick - oh no for Piers!

I think I saw it on the 730 report. Penberthy is alleging that Rudd deserves a chance as PM and the Daily Terror is going to editorialize in his favour RE the election. I will believe it when I see it. Now, in the meantime, what's Tiddalik of News Ltd saying?

Dated yesterday, Akerman's latest 'Rudd is evil incarnate' is titled Weak grip on the rudder. Oh dear Piers, must have taken at least three lines to come up with that header.

Akerman's points are this.

The ALP used the firm Hawker Britton, which was used by James Hardy. Therefore the ALP are involved in creating asbestos victims.

Rudd has hidden deals with the Greens for their preferences, the Greens want to do the following evil to us (bring inheritance taxes for example), ergo Labor is going to become their bitch.

Maxine McKew has Chinese Australian supporters who dubbed themselves MSG as a joke. Piers points out that " MSG, a cheap food additive, was popularised during the famines induced in China under the murderous dictatorship of Mao Zedong."

Rudd blames everyone else for his mistakes. He wants to take our troops out of Iraq where they are safe and send them to Afghanistan where they are not.

Rudd was called Dr Death when he was Chief of Staff to Wayne Goss, then ALP Premier of QLD, for killing the hospitals. He also personally stopped a dam being built.

Then Akerman ends with this distilled essence of Liberal slander; "With wall-to-wall Labor governments and economic instability in the world financial markets, can Australia afford to risk a totally inexperienced Rudd Labor government and its baggage train of unrepresentative trade union hacks itching to get their hands on the surpluses the Coalition has carefully built? "

Good old Piers. Dying in a ditch for the Liberal party until the bitter, bitter end.

As ever I wish PK was still in public life

From today's SMH.

A chance to rebuild, after a decade of moral erosion

Date: November 22 2007

Paul Keating

The principal reason the public should take the opportunity to kill off the Howard Government has less to do with broken promises on interest rates or even its draconian Work Choices industrial laws, and everything to do with restoring a moral basis to our public life.

Without this, the nation has no standard to rely upon, no claim that can be believed, not even when the grave step of going to war is being considered. When truth is up for grabs, everything is up for grabs.

Cynicism and deceitfulness have been the defining characteristics of John Howard and his Government. They were even brazen enough to oversee the corruption of a United Nations welfare program. And when they were found out, not one of them accepted ministerial responsibility. Not Alexander Downer, not Mark Vaile and certainly not Howard. What they were doing was letting the cockies get their wheat sold through the AWB, while turning a blind eye to the AWB's unscrupulous behaviour - illegally funding a regime Howard was arguing was so bad it had to be changed by force.

Howard took us into the disastrous Gulf War on the back of two lies. One, that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction, capable of threatening the Middle East and Western Europe; the other, that Howard was judiciously weighing whether to commit Australian forces against an evolving situation. We now know he had committed our forces to the Americans all along.

If the Prime Minister cannot be believed, who in the political system is to be believed?

When Opposition leader in 1995, Howard told us he would restore trust in government, when at that time trust in government was not in question. He also told us he would make us more "relaxed and comfortable". Well, some relaxation and some comfort. These days, there are many parts of the world where Australians dare not go. Something new for all of us.

But bad as all this is, how much worse was it for Howard to begin the fracturing of his own community?

His tacit endorsement of Pauline Hanson's racism during his first government, his WASP-divined jihad against refugees; those wretched individuals who had enough faith in us to try and reach us in old tubs, while his wicked detention policy was presided over by that other psalm singer, Philip Ruddock.

This is the John Howard the press gallery in Canberra went out of its way to sell to the public during 1995. The new-made person on immigration, not the old suburban, picket-fence racist of the 1980s, no, the enlightened unifier who now accepted Australia's ethnic diversity; the Opposition leader who was going to maintain Keating Labor's social policies on industrial relations, on superannuation at 15 per cent, on reconciliation, on native title, and on the unique labour market programs for the unemployed.

These solemn commitments by Howard, which helped him win the 1996 election, bit the dust under that breathtaking blanket of hypocrisy he labelled "non-core promises".

Even on Medicare. And on that, contrary to his commitment, he forced each of us into private health or carry the consequences.

During the 1996 election campaign, a number of people I regard well said to me "Oh, I think Howard will be all right"; meaning, while not progressive, he would not be reactionary or socially divisive, or opportunistically amoral.

Well Howard wasn't "all right". He has turned out to be the most divisive prime minister in our history. Not simply a conservative maintaining the status quo, but a militant reactionary bent upon turning the clock back. Turning it back against social inclusion, cooperation at the workplace, the alignment of our foreign policies towards Asia, providing a truthful and honourable basis for our reconciliation, accepting the notion that all prime ministers since Menzies had: Holt, Gorton, McMahon, Whitlam, Fraser, Hawke and me: that our ethnic diversity had made us better and stronger and the nation's leitmotif was tolerance. Howard has trodden those values into the ground.

He also trod on the reasonable constitutional progression to an Australian republic, even when the proposal I championed had everything about it that the Liberal Party could accept. A president appointed by both houses of Parliament; meaning by both major parties, while leaving the reserve powers with the new head of state as the Liberals had always wanted. The price of Howard conniving in its defeat probably means we will ultimately end up with an elected head of state, completely changing the representative nature of power and of the prime ministership and of the cabinet.

To compound Howard's transgressions, he has run dead on the continuing obligation of structural economic change, just like he did as treasurer in the 1970s.

He and Costello have simply made hay while the sun has shone from the great structural reforms introduced by the Hawke and Keating governments. Those changes: open financial and product markets, the new decentralised wages system of 1993, were married up with a trillion dollars in superannuation savings, to underwrite the country's prosperity and renew its economic base.

Howard's sole example of reform is his GST. The one he told us in 1996 he would not give us. A regressive tax on all spending regardless of income.

Nations get a chance to change course every now and then. When things become errant, a wise country adjusts its direction. It understands that it is being granted an appointment with history. On this coming Saturday, this country should take that opportunity by driving a stake through the dark heart of Howard's reactionary government.

Paul Keating was prime minister from 1991 to 1996, and treasurer from 1983 to 1991.

Tsk tsk

It's not that he doesn't believe in climate change - he does. He just always wanted to lease a hummer - even if for a short while.

So my brother did. He's leased a hummer. And, on his first day with it, he knocked over a concrete wall at his apartment block.

He is a bad man.

Area man loses it

The stress and my general shitted off with life crap landed in a core nub of two minutes. Unfortunately the recipient was theWife. She caught a full rage freak out of mine, completely not her fault, just being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Suffice to say we got ourselves a combo of high intensity life crap hitting us at the moment which isn't helping. But I haven't been very nice and in a very good mood of late and really I should do better and act better.

Contrition mode on.

A silver lining however is the pain meds are very nice and right now the chemical effect of bliss out just landed. W-e-e-e-e-e-e-e.

Press Club with Howard

Why are the journalists clapping Howard's speech at key clap points? Aren't they supposed to be objective and wait until then end and ask actual questions? I bet it was the News Ltd crowd.

UPDATE: Hilarious. They just cut to Janette Howard who has this rictus like grin on her face. Her eyes flicked towards the camera to check it was still there and for her corpse smile to be maintained. She did it about three or four times.

UPDATE 2: Howard keeps Paper-Scissors-Rocking again - these inexplicable fist pumps without a sense of rhythm.

UPDATE 3: Howard is now bleating on that the ALP's dense policy forecast is nothing but slogans. He's complaining how the ALP only just posted their policies for treasury checking. Which is ironic since the Libs did the exact same thing in the '96 election when they were in opposition. Some more lies about the ALP broadband policy ('won't be active until 2014!'). Here we go on Labor's IR policies. "It's all bad". He is claiming his proudest moment in government is his low unemployment rate (and its because of WorkChoices apparently).

Some key whining as follows;

Hundreds of young people have enthused about their job/employment prospects.

Rudd hasn't said anything about reducing unemployment" (he has, it's called skilling the country).

Rudd will damage small business! Dreaded unfair dismissal laws will be back! Unions back in the workplace! Think of the miners! (Too much wrong with that to even bother)

Here comes the interest rates line. "Ours is half that of their 89 peak! (ignore the fact it takes seven years average salary to pay off a house than five years when Labor was in)."

"Rudd voted against the health rebate, GST, etc ergo not an economic conservative!" (WTF? Conservatives are people against change; this is all change stuff)

"Politics is more than a slogan!" (We decide who comes to this country and the manner in which their arrival is distorted within the press)

"Unions!" (apparently the former union officials still worship their dark masters and we will be sacrificed on the altar of Marxism).

"It would be the ALP in full power across the country! Nochecks and balances!" (yes ... because you didn't do anything to checks and balances by altering FOI in your favour, covering up government policies in embroyo, passing intelligence information to pet journalists, and gutting the senate's ability to oversight the executive".

"Best years ahead but only under us!"

(Cue sycophantic clapping).

Questions begin.

Jim Middleton: Lib funds used for that Muslim pamphlet? How about the Greenway incident?

Howard: I don't believe public funds were used, and I condemn it. He actually said he doesn't believe the ALP believes the stuff that was on it (all power to him).

Karen Middleton: On about the pamphlet. People want Howard to do some things differently. Will you?

Howard: Country in the right direction (polling tells me so). The ALP agree with me unless the unions say so! My pitch is you want right direction don't change government. Take the Aboriginal intervention. We couldn't have done that three years ago and we took advantage of today to do it. (now he's going on about recognition of first ozzers again - won't apologise but we will admit they were here first before we destroyed their culture).

Someone on the Flyer:

Howard: I didn't know anything about it (I believe him on that)

Phil Corey, SMH: Said you would be leader while in best interests in party. Still agree you did the right thing?

Howard: Yes (cue clapping).

(Missed stuff due to phone call)

Howard: Got the balance right on IR, nothing further coming (yeah right)

Some reporter: You want to be around for the referendum thing in 18 months? Is this realistic given your party might want you to go before then.

Howard: Chortling.

Reporter: What about transition?

Howard: If we are re-elected, and we will be I believe, there will be a transition well into next term. Don't know when. But plenty of time for Peter to get the house in order. Howard claims he is now being candid on this issue (unlike all the other hundreds of times he wasn't). Bringing up state premiers going without telling people (yes, state ALP = federal ALP). Please we all know Howard had to say it or Costello would have fucked off to the back bench.

Tingue: Are you satisfied the Lindsay candidate had nothing to do with it? What about mandates?

Howard: I won't consider being defeated so no response. I am confident candidate had no prior knowledge. Nor Miss Kelly.

Herald Sun: Does being a new grand dad giving him a perspective on climate change. Are you concerned what will happen to him?

Howard: My grandson talks about greenhouse gases all the time (ha ha ha). Wanking on about being a granddad and life continuity. Of the future. Loving families (quick, get me a baby to maul stat). I think we have to do something about CC that's measures and applied. We all have to play our part. Some lies about ALP embracing the Liberal policy on CC. Again, deliberate falsehood spreading. See! They agree with me! No difference between us now!

(Missed a bunch of stuff)

Michelle Grattan: Back on pamphlet. RE Risk on Rudd government. How important national security is. Is Rudd risky on NS?

Howard: Don't visit upon the candidate the errors of her husband. Something about husbands and wives being independent from each other. Not sure where he's going with this at all. Rudd will be a big risk to the economy. Huge risk! Rudd more restrained than Latham on NS, not saying a lot however. Rudd on Iraq - Rudd is hedging his beats. If post invasion had been good Rudd would have morphed into a supporter. He would have likely supported the WMD thing (?) I think some in Labor hates the US alliance and hates ASIO.

(Missed some stuff)

Howard: I have the longest PM/Treasurer partnership in the history of Oz. Intimately involved in economics. Yes we have had disagreements in our sexless marriage but there's a broad continuity of themes we agree on. Different style yes, but broadly we agree on stuff. Something about Hawke/Keating had similar relationship. Costello and I have different views on the Republic. There will be subtle nuanced difference between our two PMships. But broadly, we're like this (twins fingers). We believe in IR, lower tax, balanced budgets, social security of welfare to work, globalisation, best hope for Aboriginals to be mainstream community members, US alliance and maintaining strong Defence spending etc etc etc. We agree more than we disagree being the basic thrust of his response.

AAP: What steps have you taken there won't be a repeat of the pamphlet in other places? How much responsibility do you take as leader?

Howard: I ordered discipline against these people and quickly. Within 24 hours! Nothing to do with it, I condemn it, right response etc.

Canberra Times: Labor promised to double the efficiency dividend (Howard: Don't believe it - cue laughter).

Howard: We proposed a dividend. Theirs is a gimmick. Ours isn't. Ours is solid and large. If ALP forms government then the public servant unions would never carry it out (bullshit - the ALP are gunning for all the political appointees Howard bought in).

ABC: Interest rate lows. Voters will have that in mind. You said sorry and then didn't.

Howard: Didn't like the rate went up. But always lower under me than Labor (Can't prove a negative but doesn't change the fact he will keep saying it).

Reporter: If you're rejected does that mean the people reject your changes?

Howard: I am not going to answer any question that infers we will lose. Because we won't. We're awesome. People don't want change in direction of Oz. Happy with fundamentals. Disagree with some minor stuff. I accept that. This is not an angry campaign and its not dirty (apart from all the dirty shit we've pulled). It's not acrimonious (despite the fact 99% of our ads are attack ads distorting facts like interest rates and union participation). People's complaints are can't get enough staff (der, because you rode the education skilling system into the ground). We should preserve values of "old Australia" and be excited by "New Australia" (what does that even mean?)

Milne: There are people in Libs worth mining race relations for pol advantage. Will you step up to build bridges between Muslim Australians if re-elected?

Howard: I don't think racism is an attitude in the Liberal party, not reflected by our values (HA HA HA Mainstream values anyone?) We respect racial/cultural background. But they have to adhere to our values (which we determine). We must recog Islamic extremism manifests in terrorism (der). Terrorists distort Islam to their advantage (he's right). We must be careful not to blame all Muslims for it (exactly). I don't think the Lindsay incident is an indicator of racism in the Liberals (more excellent lies).

Reporter: Deals with States on Health/Water. Rudd says he can deal with States. How do you intend to do this? Won't you face log jams on dealing with States like you have done in the past?

Howard: Former premier Beattie emerged from COAG in 2006 said COAG rawked and how awesome they are. We've had a bad time with the states cause they've been planning for the fed election (which is ironic since that was the reason Abbott used for not dealing with the states). Bracks said he would bring Vic to the table. And he didn't bring Vic to the table cause they wanted to screw me over. Me?! The greatest PM in the history of this country. How dare they not back my 10 billion pulled out of my arse not tested by science or treasury water plan! You need checks and balances - if all ALP then no changes made! (in 69 the coalition had all governments in OZ BTW). It's good to have diff parties at different levels. Bad situation, boo, no checks and balances.

ABC News: Not healthy to have the same governments eh? You only face that cause state Libs are useless

Howard: My job is to govern well for everyone and I put that ahead of state Libs party changes. I have put that above partisan political advantage - we don't have a supreme executive.

(Missed some stuff due to phone call)

Howard: I suspect Costello will be elected unopposed. That's what I'm basing it on. Hey the UK Labour party had a known transition coming. That's like this. Therefore our deal is sweet and awesome. Nothing extraordinary about my soon to be heading off into the sunset half way through a term costing the people another 300k in by-election costs (though state ALP did that too it should be admitted). We have no pacts! (except for that pact we had that I broke). Anyway, in conclusion, I am awesome. And so is my government.

HM's reaction - what a self serving wank this was.

All the best to the happy couple

Bronnie Bishop gets her beehive in a knot

Ah Bronwyn Bishop, once touted as a future PM solely on the strength of her Margaret Thatcher esq appearance, has railed against millionaire socialists in her latest missive to her electorate. She at least is thinking of the children. The SMH story came from here.

Relevant snippet as follows;

Mrs Bishop said she now had "a genuine concern should the Labor Party win the next election".

"Most of us will survive the economic slide and the lower living standard but my concern is for our youth.

"Our youth have never experienced a socialist government with its continuous barrage of laws, rules and regulations, the never-ending interference of government and unions in our lives and the soul-destroying unemployment as our living standard drops."

Then this: "Have you ever wondered how so many members of the Labor Party have become very rich whilst in government, while workers become poorer? How do they become multi-millionaires."

And on it went: "It would be sad to have the old failed socialist, union-driven government influencing our youth."

In other words, the corrupt socialists are poised to corrupt the children and drive them into poverty while lining their own pockets with millions in graft.

Hysterical and hyperbolic indeed, but it is about all the Coalition has left between now and election day if it is to change the minds of the significant group of undecided voters flirting with change.

Yep. Those pesky socialist millionaires spreading their socialism on people and ensuring their working conditions and take home pay is lesser thanks to collective bargaining and other socialist efforts.

I think Bronnie's been working the glue stick up the nostril again.

Nice one Liberal fvcksticks

Jackie Kelly, retiring member for Lindsay's husband and friends have been fingered in their plan to distribute leaflets from the mythical Islamic Australia Federation asking punters to vote for the ALP by way of thanks for doing all these nefarious acts to support Muzzies in Oz.

See the SMH story here.

From Crikey here's the pamphlet. What I especially love is how these bigoted dare I say racist smear merchants can't even get the chant right. It's Allahu Akbar, not Ala Akba. But given the McMansion owning TT/ACA audience the pamphlets are targeting and the falsehoods it's peddling, accuracy in slandering an entire faith is hardly required.

UPDATE: Jackie Kelly said it was a 'Chaser style prank';

"I think its intent is to be a send-up but obviously it hasn't worked," she said.

"I think if you read it you'd be laughing. Most people who have read it have said 'That's a Chaser-style of prank'."

Ms Kelly said the "prank" was "really immature stuff" that would not influence any voters.

Ms Kelly described her husband's actions as "skylarking" after a few beers.

"I'm a bit upset with him, but no, look I love him," she told Southern Cross Broadcasting.

"He hates the unions with a passion and after weeks and weeks of letterboxing, what gets to be boring material, of a repetitive message that we get them to letterbox all the time, they come up with their own skylarking over a few beers and think that something's funny," Ms Kelly said

Oh really Ms Kelly. Just skylarking after beers eh? These aren't photocopied pamphlets. These are printed pamphlets - as in organisation was required to lay them out/design them and print them. Hardly possible via skylarking after work. It took effort. It took time to arrange. What a crock of shit from these people. If it isn't going to influence voters then why the fuck would you have gone to all that trouble eh? Wow - these people will attempt anything to remain in power including tapping into to the racist element that have happily cultivated in the past 11 years. The Liberals must be very proud of them.

UPDATE 2: The candidate's husband for the Libs in Lindsay was in it up to his neck too.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

To the rescue!

Channel ten trying on their running late crap again

I like the show House. I also like Prison Break. We tape both. House ends at 930. The tape then kicks over to Prison Break on Channel Seven.

For the last three eps of House I have missed the ending because fucking Channel fucking ten fucking runs its fucking programs over time. Tonight House ended not at 9:30 but at 9:38. A couple of minutes - sure - I get that. But eight minutes! How is that fitting to any kind of schedule. Here's my theory. The amount of advertising a commercial station can run is self regulated. So they run as much advertising as they can which includes decisions like this to arbitrarily stick eight more minutes in on top of everything else they crammed in.

Channel ten - you suck. There's a reason why people are fleeing free to air and its not just your shithouse reality TV programming. It's you actual broadcasting techniques of shaving seconds before the ad break, cutting out dialogue (the Simpsons being a classic example) and refusing to stick to your advertised schedule. And don't get me started on your shitty introduce a kewl show like Jericho then arse it without a fucking word.

Andrew Robb

At this moment (Lateline 21 Nov) is the biggest fuckstick in Federal politics for claiming that the unions ran a 30 million dollar scare campaign and therefore the complaint by the ALP that the Libs ran a scare election campaign is moot.

WTF? Is he insane. Let's ignore then the 200 million he spent of government money promoting their self admitted rights removed in the workplace legislation. Scare campaign, my arse. Try grounded in reality campaign explaining in great detail how your shitty government raped the concept of collective bargaining.

Is this man a rep? If so let's hope his arse gets booted too. Seriously what a massive fuckstick.

UPDATE: Now he's wanking on about Labor inexperience and that the ALP is nothing but slogans despite the fact the ALP have offered many, many policies outlining what exactly they intend to do to empower the country as opposed to middle class bribery like his miserable crew. Oh Robb was the fuckstick behind the 'wah 12 Labor candidates are still employed by the crown cause we looked on the web and didn't consider that info was out of date because we barely know what the fucking internet is, wah' cockup of recent times.

Holy firetruck - the best photo of the campaign

Move over Tony Abbott here comes Fireman John and his pet dog Pete.

A snippet from the article RE Howard notes the following

Mr Howard's speech also targeted wavering voters.

He said he knows many people think the government hasn't done a bad job in the past 11 and a half years.

He was also aware there were those who think the government has done a bad job from the day it was first elected in 1996 and nothing he says today will change that.

"There are some who are saying to themselves three days out from the election 'Howard hasn't done a bad job, the country is in very good shape economically, we've got low unemployment, business is good, profits are up taxes are down, things seem to be going well, we've got some challenges'."

"'But gee, he's been there for 11 and a half years and maybe we should have a change'," Mr Howard said.

"I've been in politics a very long time, I understand that perfectly.

"I want to say to those people that there is no such thing as a change of government where everything continues the same as it was before the change."

He said every change of government since the end of World War II has resulted in a profound change in the nature of the country following that change of government.

He's right in the last part; how about this? Removal of accountability by ministers, outward lying by senior ministers, shabby treatment of refugees as part of racist domestic politics - all these "changes" came about because of Howard (and they're just the tip!). Now we have to undo that damage.


Yesterday's Crikey - Abjorensen: John Winston Howard, political extremist

Norman Abjorensen writes:

Australia has had a few dodgy and iffy governments over the years, but apart from the latter days of the Bjelke-Petersen dictatorship in Queensland, political extremism has never really gained a significant toehold.

That is, until the current term of the Howard government and its absolute authority over the parliament. The truth is that John Winston Howard – who masquerades not entirely convincingly as an ordinary bloke - is a political extremist.

Pragmatic concerns over the years have served to keep that extremism in check – but it’s always been there. In the mid-1980s he was talking about total deregulation of the labour market, even before he lit the fuse venting his long held belief in white Australia.

We have all been too taken in by his apparent ordinariness and his protestations that he was a conservative. He is not; he is a radical neoliberal, albeit with a pragmatic streak. Every institutional pillar has been under sustained assault on his watch – the High Court, the parliament, the public service, the military and security organisations, the Auditor-General, the ABC and so on.

Some aspects of his radical neoliberalism he shares with the rabid neo-conservatives who have wreaked such havoc in the Bush White House with their pet project – the war in Iraq. Like the neocons, he pretends to revere the past but really despises it.

The distinguished American political scientist, Anne Norton, who has repeatedly exposed the neocons for the social vandals they are, contrasts them with the archetypal traditional political conservative, whom Howard professes to admire, Edmund Burke. She writes in Leo Strauss and the Politics of American Empire:

"Conservatives of this caste... valued custom and practice, reverenced memory, and honoured the distinctive character of an established community sharing a common life."

Howard has derided and dismantled custom and practice, launched a cultural offensive against memory and tradition, and has implemented policies that effectively preclude Australians sharing a common life. His attack on the family by way of workplace changes while purporting to uphold family values is something Orwell could have used in 1984.

Jack Lang was demonised as a political extremist (which he wasn’t) and driven from office by the representative of the British bondholders – but the real extremists who fought Lang, the laughable but deadly New Guard, never quite cut it politically. They were fascists, pure and simple, and the Australian people did not like what they saw.

Similarly, the Communist Party only ever managed to get a single candidate elected, and while One Nation enjoyed a flurry of success in the late 1990s, its flame quickly subsided.

Howard’s extremism – in his fanatical campaign against the unions and the rights of workers and his total capitulation to the rapacity of big business – simply flies in the face of not just the Australian way of life but the collective wisdom of the Liberal Party itself.

Bob Menzies well knew the dangers of the party he helped found being seen to be too close to business. Bob Askin, in NSW, fought hard to drag the party in his State to the centre to make it electable in 1965 after 24 years in the wilderness, and Malcolm Fraser knew both his Menzies and his Burke.

Howard, of course, is not alone. Peter Costello is imbued with the fanaticism of the H. R. Nicholls Society, Tony Abbott is to the right of General Franco on all social and political issues, Nick Minchin never saw anything wrong in attending a breakfast with the LaRouchites, and Kevin Andrews appears to have created his very own political oxymoron – a unique Cromwellian Catholicism. And of course ever present is the sinister Eric Abetz who sees nothing wrong with using his staff to investigate witnesses at Senate committee hearings in order to try to discredit them.

The virtual outlawing of strikes and the hounding of union leaders, the contempt for accountability, a dysfunctional Freedom of Information regime, a sustained diminution of human rights and civil liberties, and a massive build-up of internal security forces all serve to make this country a very different place from the one in which many of us grew up.

Howard argues, with some justification, that the entire electorate has moved to the right. While not wishing to compare Howard with Hitler, precisely the same argument could have been mounted by the Nazis in defence of their policies in the 1930s.

If Howard loses on Saturday, it will be because of this perceived extremism. That might just explain why the electorate is uneasy in a prosperous time.

Why religions and government don't mix

Saudi Arabia has defended a court's decision to sentence a woman who was gang-raped to 200 lashes of the whip, after the United States described the verdict as "astonishing".

See here.

As the article notes; A series of erratic verdicts have focused attention on the Saudi legal system, which is dominated by clerics who adhere to the kingdom's austere Sunni form of Islamic law. Personal status law remains uncodified and the system does not recognise the concept of precedent."

When you base your legal code not on principles of justice but on religious doctrine the legal system is not just. This is by no means Islamic bashing, just an over-all head shake at religions influence on law and government when it goes over the top. The same goes for the fundies in the US influence on the Bush administration - though admittedly theirs is not so nakedly overt.

Oh for all those people that wank on about "Islamism" most of those conflicts are characterised by nationalist resistance as opposed to those trying to establish purely theological states. Most - not all. The Taliban are more theological than nationalist in my opinion.

Rudd at the press club

Didn't bother live blogging it but over-all performance was suburb. Easily batted away the curly ones thrown by the government gazette types.

The experience one was a classic.

'You don't have any experience - so why should people vote for you?'

'Mr Howard had experience of running the country into the ground when treasurer under Fraser. Mr Costello had no governmental experience whatsoever.'

And Ruddy spoke up for unions. Good on him. Favourite quip to some hack who added up 11 promises by Rudd and said 'I was going to call them commandments but you're one over', was 'sorry mate I'm more New Testament than old.'



Speaking of obesity, as with most things there is a scale of obesity. Taken from the wiki for obesity, the scale (based on Body Mass Index) is as follows;
  • A BMI less than 18.5 is underweight
  • A BMI of 18.5–24.9 is normal weight
  • A BMI of 25.0–29.9 is overweight
  • A BMI of 30.0–39.9 is obese
  • A BMI of 40.0 or higher is severely (or morbidly) obese
  • A BMI of 35.0 or higher in the presence of at least one other significant comorbidity is also classified by some bodies as morbid obesity.
Morbid obesity is a charming phrase is it not? Just to really drive it home just how fat that person is. Morbid. To me it resembles the sound a ship makes hitting an iceberg or something. What can't it be generously obese? If we can make killing civilians in war sound better with 'collateral damage' surely we can relabel morbid as generous - or well proportioned obesity. Or Jolly Old Nick obesity.

And another thing, how is it that Santa has always been depicted as a fat man yet his chosen means of house entry is a chimney? I mean the fact the average size of a from the inside sweep was that of a malnourished eight year old boy should have been a clue for santa to instead invest in a skeleton key or jimmey or something.

Oh, and yes, I am generously / well proportioned / Joly Old Nick obese.

First dog on the moon - taken from y'days Early Crikey

I'm b-a-a-a-c-k

As you can see I did not waste any space to spruik for Labor, borrowing a pen off Gary the orderly before going in for surgery.

The ex Rhodesian surgeon took one look at it and said 'we don't operate on Labor supporters' - which was pretty funny.

Later as I came out of the anesthetic a nurse said 'you've been in recovery for a week and Labor lost'.

Which was not funny.

All in all it went okay. I got my post match report from the anesthetist whilst I was sitting on the lav but the gist was it was all good. I felt like crud afterwards, and working out what was causing the pain became a bit difficult since it was very much A) IBS, B) hunger pains, C) bloating, D) incisions, or E) all of the above. Still a broad spectrum pain reliever took care of most of it.

I can't drive for 24 hours and can't lift anything for at least two weeks which as noted will make the moving house a challenge since that occurs within a few days. Yay for the timing.

If I've learned anything from all of this its to eat slower and sip a drink don't gulp it. Time is the key to satiety, not volume - though of course volume plays a part.

Anyway, thanks for all the good wishes from y'all. And apologies for you seeing my fattiness in all its morbid obese glory.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Well this is me signing off

Back Wednesday PM if all things go well. If not, well, best not thinking about.

Massive hearty man hugs with plenty of back slaps for the boys and close, quiet still hugs that linger uncomfortably long for the girls.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Interesting differences

Howard's crew knocks over woman who is rendered unconscious. Howard stands and watches as a staffer attends to her. See here.

Girl faints in front of Rudd. Rudd and staff help her and make sure she's hydrated. See here.

The symbology I think is fairly apt for the election as a whole

Time you will never get back

All that spent looking for the fucking remotes.

A classic Seinfeld moment

From the Face Painter.

George: ... Anyway, I'm thinking of making a big move.

Jerry: What?

George: I might tell her that I love her. I came this close last night, then I just chickened out.

Jerry: Well, that's a big move, Georgie boy. Are you confident in the 'I love you' return?

George: Fifty-fifty.

Jerry: Cause if you don't get that return, that's a pretty big matzoh ball hanging out there.

George: Aw, I've just got to say it once, everybody else gets to say it, why can't I say it?

Elaine: What, you never said it?

George: Once, to a dog. He licked himself and left the room.

Jerry: Well, so it wasn't a total loss.

Day 14

I made the mistake of taking a shake to work. In its defence the core nub of the mistake occurred from my putting the powder in the shaker before the water. When shaken, it left drifts of powder at the bottom that could not be shifted. The shaking left it watery and lumpy and I gagged on lumps when the dregs came down.

All in all - not good.

However that being said on Day 14 - largely felt good. Tomorrow is the Op, then it's a graduated return to solids over a month. There's even a warm liquid goo phase which is kewl slash not kewl at all.

Is putting slash instead of a / pretentious? Probably.

Anyhoo - fasting from midnight tonight. Yay. And no fizzy drinks for two weeks or so afterwards. Double yay of the not actually double yay at all, clearly sarcastic variety.

So all in all, I made it barring unforeseen sleep eating. Hey man, USE is real. In fact lots of people do kooky 'during sleep' stuff, usually a reaction to medications. The funniest I heard of was one woman who became a lady of the evening while 'asleep'. I wonder what she thought when she woke up and found the wedges of cash on her person?

Finally, a rating for Optifast. I give it a 6/10. Avoid the soups - the bars are okay for the first few days - but the stand out is the Strawberry milkshake. I actually looked forward to it.

Have fun campers.

If I don't make it tomorrow...

... then goodbye. It's been a hell of a ride.

Pre Voted

In case I died on the table I wanted to make sure my vote was in. So I pre-voted.

I noticed Oz's favourite loons - the CEC - were on the ballot. Needless to say they were put last in the Reps (did you know Climate Change is a Green extremist plot to de-populate the earth!)

Suffice to say I went with a combo of ALP and Greens. There's a good chance the ALP vote will spill over into a Greens Senator getting up anyway which is kewl.

So for the Senate to that end Gary Humphries came last. I respect he crossed the floor on the same sex debate. But he's in the way of his arse fuck govt losing control of the Senate and alas he had to go. I hope his post politics life is a good one.

From Today's Crikey: David Williamson reflects on Election 07

1. David Williamson: Howard, morning walks and the ghosts of 1969

David Williamson writes:

In 1971 I wrote the play Don’s Party about the 1969 election night, when Labor supporters were fervently hoping for the arrival of the Great Gough. As it turned out he was five seats short of arriving and we had to wait until 1972 before the long dark night of conservative rule ended.

The similarities with this Saturday’s election are obvious, and many of the old baby boomers, faint memories of the idealistic dreams of the sixties not yet erased by Alzheimer’s, are hoping fervently we won’t see a re-run of 1969. There are many reasons to wish Johnnie bon voyage, the most pressing being the thought of another eighteen months of television footage of his morning walks.

It’s time to say no to those daggy shorts, the horrible knees, the resolute stride towards a neo con past where Anglo man still rules the world, and the total lack of wit or spontaneity in his travelling badinage. Joy number two will be picturing the tears and foot stamping of the well paid hosts of Howard acolytes littering our press.

Any journalist who can turn a man his own party dubbed a “lying rodent”, into the Saint who saved Australia, has, like their idol, a superb grasp of slippery rhetoric which has hopefully earned them enough money to retire. These same scribes have falsely divided Australia into “Howard hating elites”, and “ordinary Australians,” without ever asking the question as to why many with the remnants of a conscience, including “ordinary Australians”, find it hard to stomach him.

The shameless exploitation of fear and hysteria over four hundred genuine and dehydrating refugees on Tampa might be a start. The ludicrous and hugely expensive “Pacific solution” might be another. The moral sleaze of the Saddam kickbacks, the lies of children overboard, the blatant and immoral pork barrelling of Coalition electorates, the attempt to deliver a cowed and cheap workforce to employers without a mandate, the constant and unrelenting grovelling to George Bush, the deathbed conversion to climate change and reconciliation lite - the list could go on.

If John can’t pull a Tampa out of his baggy green in this last week, it looks over for him. But we’ve been through 1969, and the anxiety is rising nonetheless. The thought of the most unlovely and thuggish front bench in Australian political history, namely Abbott, Downer, Costello, Ruddock, Andrews, Hockey and the rest retaining power is a thought that could send our already soaring rate of depression exponential.

If Rudd does win it will be heartening proof that the cynical pundits who say the hip pocket nerve is the only factor are wrong. Many would like a return to simple decency, and Rudd patently has more of it than Howard. If it’s not a re-run of 1969 and John and Janette are prised out of Kirribilli, the greatest relief for me will still be the end of the morning walks.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Cyclone Goober?

What sort of name is that? It fully undercuts the sheer misery of having your village wiped out.

Or did I hear it wrong?

UPDATE: Yep, heard it wrong - it's Sidr, not Goober.

Man, that could have been embarrassing.

Day 13

Well I felt great for most of the day. It's now been three days since I have eaten solid food. Tonight was hard. TheWife cooked carbonara which smelled fucking awesome. She had to Glen20 the entire house so I wouldn't smell it and even then I stuck Vaseline under my nose to try and take the edge off the smell.

Just. One. Day. To. Go.

I will be on restricted eating for a while after the Op but at least I can eat. Damn you Optifast, DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Except for your strawb milkshakes. I did not get sick of those at all.


The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) overnight handed down a summary of its three previous reports on global warming, issuing its most stark warning yet on its impact and urging politicians to immediately tackle the threat.

The panel of scientists declared the impact of global warming could be "abrupt or irreversible" and no country would be spared.

For the rest see here.

My immediate reaction was 'we be fucked'. Unless Bush is given the arse and other climate change denying fucksticks - cough, Howard, cough - as as well.

RE Kyoto. We're going to prob meet our target. We get a seat at the table for what comes after it if we sign. We don't get that seat, or have the same level of influence as to what the world does to stop it cooking. Not signing it is moronic. In fact its criminal. And the only reason why is because a stubborn old man clinging to his last days in twisted power has decided he can't cut and run from cutting and running from it in the first place.

A silver lining

There's not many when moving house, but here is one.

Arsing off all that fucked up accumulated plastic kitchen crap that spills forth like some sort of Tupperware money shot every single fucking time you open the fucking cupboard. Then you have to bend over to pick it up and throw it back in, shutting the door before it all falls out again.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Overt pleasure in the suffering of others

Not sure what the German for that is but well I got it.

The ANAO released a report into the regional partnerships program from the 2004 election which effectively has proven the Nats and the Libs together pork barrelled marginals with the intention of winning the election.

Hands up who is surprised. I see, no hands.

You know what the absolutely great thing about this is? No, not just the government being shown for what it is - a shameless prolifigate spender of tax payer funds for politically self serving reasons. The fact that they are at it again.

I think yesterday's Crikey says it best RE the nats.

MacCormack: Nats are genetically designed to rort

David MacCormack writes:

The surprising thing about the emerging scandal over the maladministration of the Regional Partnerships program is that anyone is surprised. What do you think happens when you put a National Party minister near a very deep - several hundred million dollar deep - pork barrel?

The National Party is different from the Liberal Party, the Labor Party, or for that matter just about every other political party from the lunar Right to the raving Left in Australia. It has no interest in the welfare of the nation, in good public policy, or achieving outcomes for the whole community. Its parasitic purpose is to leech off resources from the rest of the community to a minority interest of limited economic or social value. It has always been that way and always will be. It isn't a political party, it's a conspiracy to defraud.

That's why National Party politicians are a priori unfit for public office. They are genetically designed to rort. We saw it in Queensland under Joh and we've seen it for years under the Howard Government.

Only in its early days, when fiscal discipline was rigorously imposed, did this Government control National Party pork-barrelling - if you don't give them the money, they can't rort it. But since then, the Transport and Regional Services portfolio has become a multi-billion dollar machine geared to delivering cash to rural communities and businesses for political purposes.

Regional Partnerships is only a particularly blatant example. There are many other regional development and rural roads programs in that portfolio. Does anyone seriously think they are administered any more soundly?

And, as usual, when Nationals are caught out, they attack the people who've exposed them. De-Anne Kelly was today blaming the ANAO for revealing the partisanship and lack of accountability in the program she administered. Just like it was the media's fault that the National Party in the 1980s was riddled with corruption.

Even so, it is exquisite timing. The Government's reputation for prudent economic management has been taking a battering for the last fortnight. The Nationals just might have helped kill it off entirely.

Day 12

I haven't eaten solid food now for over 48 hours. I imagine my stomach is a deflated balloon. I still get hunger pains mind you. But the idea of eating those repulsive bars makes me gag.

When Oprah famously crash dieted all those years ago she did it via milkshakes which are I guess akin to this. I remember reading about how when she went on air post weight loss she spruiked the maker, whose switchboard apparently crapped itself because it could not take the volume of calls.

But it's still crash dieting. And crash diets don't work. Again, if I didn't have to do this to avoid potential surgical complications I sure as hell would not try losing weight this way. It's painful and its depressing.

The shiny happy overweight girl riding the bike on the front of the Optifast literature is a lie. In reality she'd probably be sitting sadly on the couch thinking about what food she would eat if she could.

Just two days to go.

... yay ...

Friday, November 16, 2007

Pauline Hanson, not a racist

Curious at what Australia's greatest dole bludger, Pauline Hanson (aka RHRR), has to say for this election I went to scope out her website - which seems on balance to be a feeder mechanism to buy her presumably illiterate autobiography.

See it here.

What a cracker website. I especially loved the image of Our Pauline with a flag behind her. It's a first for her and she should be congratulated for twinning her person with our nation's symbol.

Oh - great idea. She should call herself mother of the nation.

Anyway, onto policies. Immigration is naturally first cab off the rank, despite the fact other policies that come before it alphabetically are on that page. I guess she's giving the punters what they want.

The Immigration policy defends RHRR's views, and notes she is not a racist, reminding me of that episode of Father Ted where he gives a slide show interspersed with the words 'not a racist' flashing up on the screen.

Here's the main defence item

I have often been labeled a racist. Usually, it is innocently done by people who haven’t recognized yet, the difference between race and culture. Sometimes it’s just a convenient way to discount whatever I might say, or to avoid really thinking about the issues involved. Sometimes it is done to fool people, to deliberately confuse culture with race.

The facts are simply that I love Australia and prefer the Australian way of life over any other. I prefer the Australian way of looking at things, our values, our beliefs and our priorities.

It's true. People do confuse culture with race. Especially when a lot of people of a certain race happen to enjoy a certain culture. So it seems as long as you act Ozzer then Pauline has no probs with you.

Fair enough I suppose.

Pauline proudly has her maiden speech she gave from her first and last time time in Federal parliament. You can click to it on the above site.

This is my favourite bit

Immigration and multiculturalism are issues that this government is trying to address, but for far too long ordinary Australians have been kept out of any debate by the major parties. I and most Australians want our immigration policy radically reviewed and that of multiculturalism abolished. I believe we are in danger of being swamped by Asians. Between 1984 and 1995, 40 per cent of all migrants coming into this country were of Asian origin. They have their own culture and religion, form ghettos and do not assimilate. Of course, I will be called racist but, if I can invite whom I want into my home, then I should have the right to have a say in who comes into my country. A truly multicultural country can never be strong or united. The world is full of failed and tragic examples, ranging from Ireland to Bosnia to Africa and, closer to home, Papua New Guinea. America and Great Britain are currently paying the price.

Oh dear. That seemed to identify Asian people by their race didn't it?

Anyway, Pauline may think she's not a racist, despite claiming things like African immigrants to Oz are AIDS ridden. But her desire for the one culture that immigrants have to adapt to or else is something bad.

It's called bigotry.

Will she get a seat? I don't think so. Will she get a shed load of cash from the AEC? Probably. Though she's a registered party now so it will be interesting to see how she funnels it from the org to her pockets. Stand by federal police to go on in.

Tony Abbott - Pure. West.

Tony Abbott was caught out again recently RE saying unpalatable things. In his defence the footage of him saying job protections were less under WorkChoices didn't include the Liberal rider of 'But er ... they create jobs', implying that the ability to fire someone without effective recourse is somehow the panacea to full employment. No, I don't get it either.

Anyway, check out the SMH story here, which includes the full transcript of Abbott remarks which mentions the 'but ... sacking people means more jobs' defence.

But the classic thing out of it is the photo. In campaigns the aim to catch a candidate near applicable signage is like the Golden Snitch of political photo-journalism - 1000 words and all that.

This ... this is magnificent.

Photo from SMH, by Peter Rae


I finally set that analytics thing up against my Google account. As I suspected 85% of hits I get are simply misfires. According to the Keywords used thingy in Google the following stand out pearls of wisdom were sought.
  • hot firemen
  • abuse of women in animal
  • beat somebody with a rubber hose
  • bl0w jobs
  • bloody ear wax
  • britney spears vaginal
  • calendars fireman
  • children referring to himself in third person
  • fine me information on crippie fishes
  • fuck a sheep under no circumstances you may fuck
  • hot calendar fireman
  • manana I'm doing nada
  • police officer sticks finger down throat drug
  • movies midgets
  • sexy catfight
  • tarzan and jane jokes

Needless to say the average time spent here perusing the linked topics was 0:00 seconds. And who would have thought hot firemen calendars would be so popular?

Also, just how sexy is that forbidden fruit sheep that dude wants to fuck? I for one would like to know.

Day 11

Well it sucked. More than ever. Note to self, don't A) leave your fatty bar at home then B) go hang with someone having lunch who is eating fish and chips.

Really, I am just asking for trouble.

Yesterday I had my fatty thunder stolen. We were in a section meeting, catered no less by myself and a colleague (who kindly bought it all so I would not have to suffer the indignity of purchasing the delish that I could not myself eat), when the subject of this here medication starvation came up. One of my c0-workers, a delightful girl, said I looked less fatty in the face (she said it more nicely than that obviously).

I was chuffed, and did that little head wobble you do when people look at you in a pleased manner.

Then my Director spoke up. 'Oh yeah, I've lost weight too.'

The heads turned to him.

'I've dropped 13 kilos on my diet and am two kilos off my ideal body weight.'

(cue drawn in breath of amazement and clapping).

He beamed, quite rightly, for he has stuck to a normal diet and exercise plan and got his weight/intake to acceptable levels.

But he stole my fatty thunder. My precious, antique fatty thunder. Fatty thunder only has a limited lifespan - it's gone so quickly.


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Earliest clear memory meme

From Uncle Bruce.

The rules for this one are simple.

  1. Describe your earliest memory where this memory is clear, where clear means you can depict at least three details.
  2. Give an estimate of how old you were at this age.
  3. Tag five other bloggers with this meme.
I think it was when we lived on a property in WA where we had a playroom in an old storeroom. There was a small table in a room and bare metal blue shelves - the metal had holes like meccano. The thing I remember most clearly is the floor was sticky and your feet made rip, rip sounds as you lifted them. I think I was three.

Tags out to Gam, Sarah, MB, Madd McColl, and Enny