She tricked me!

Thewife hates me picking the bottom of my foot. Fair point. Often I miss the bin with the skin and they curl into unpleasant to step on shards.

Anyhoo tonight she was demanding promises I would not skin drop in the new house. I agreed I would try. 'No!' She cried. 'You WILL! Or I will leave you!' (and other assorted dramatic rhetoric).

'Please,' she wheedled. 'Please!'

'Okay,' I said. 'I promise not to leave skin lying around in the new house.'

Five seconds she replayed it. She'd caught my skin free promise on her fucking mobile phone and declared she will use it as a surprisingly creepy ring tone.

Then she added that not only do I have ugly feet but really, really ugly feet.

In her defence she is correct. I have broad paddle feet that are completely fallen with kinked toes and deep sunken big toe nails.

They are most ugly.

I've ... got something in my eye (sniff).

PS I have a shit phone that does fuck all. Hers is awesome. Why is it the girls get all the kewl gadgets in the house. Boys toys my sunken toenails.