Sunday, October 21, 2007

Leader's Debate

NOTE: Mikey hates Howard and likes Rudd. Mikey is an ALP member.

Ruddy went first. Calm, considered. No rhetorical statements. Laid out policies.
Howard didn't say welcome to Mr Rudd. H on the future. He's fundamentally optimistic view apparently - and Ruddy is a nasty pessimist. H thinks the prosperity of the nation is due to 10-20 years of a new society? What the fuck? Apparently entrepreneurs are the reason why we are going great guns. Small business he said. Really, why then is the massive amount of govie money based on corporate receipts you deceptive rat. Oh ... he's now saying we don't have non a fair go. 2nd highest minimum wage eh? I'd have to look into that.

33 year low in unemployment eh? Across the board eh? He just ran out of time and is still bleating on. "Don't be frightened of growth". I swear he just looked down at his pants then. Maybe his funsize marsbar is on the rise or something.

Howard claims it's only better to have new leadership if its better and fresh, realised what he said, then went er back to um better. Howard is now lying about unions again. Hilarious. Unions are old and dated. Piss off now he's saying unions would have a monopoly - that's lies.

Ruddy is playing the realism card. He's pointing out the global stats are akin to Oz's. Rudd's mentioned the investment angle. As in Howard did fuck all with the extra money. Implication being Howard pissed it up against the wall.

Presenter - 'why chuck Howard when you agree with so much with him?'. Rudd hit back with longterm prosperity. Quoting reserve banks saying mining boom will end. Rudd promoting education/skills/broadband as a means to redress it when the crash comes. Mentions climate change and water issues.

Howard - er being an economic conservative more than a slogan. Now he's bringing up Rudd's voting record. 'He voted against tax breaks! He voted against the GST! All the reforms!'

Oh this is good, Howard's claiming because Keating/Hawke had economic reforms he agreed with then therefore he's better than Rudd. Nice one. Howard is crapping on about the tax policy where there was a potential worse off issue in the ALP package. 'It's understanding tax and economics! It's practicing what you preach !' etc. How many things did Howard offer just then as benefits for Australians ... er nothing.

Oh Costello will succeed Howard 'well into the next term'. Ouch for
Costello. Howard is bleating on about his team and how it was Peter and him on the economy. Downer was great as foreign affairs minister (news to me). Howard is now being forthright about his future apparently. Let's ignore the many many times when he was not. 'I will hand over to you after a term and a half' etc.

Ruddy is mentioning the reserve as backing the bipartisan claims. Then slamming Howard over his treasurer record. Noice. About fucking time someone brought that up.

Presenter - Unions bad? to Rudd. 'Is that not out of whack?' Rudd is going at Howard on 70% for Cabinet for being party hacks and Lawyers. Excellent. 70% of his cabinet wanted Howard to go. Awesome. Rudd is mentioning his team's varied backgrounds. And yes, has trade unionists in his background. Nice - mentioned the Unions getting justice for workers.

Take that prick!

Howard - Apparently having 70% lawyers is awesome and having unionists is pathetic. Yeah... that's right ... all pathetic. He's still going on about the 70% unions - and that State and Territory is all ALP. There's a reason for that fucktard - cause your state parties suck my anus in ability and quality candidates.

Howard - I know families are facing financial pressures! I know! Back to his tax reform for his plan (Rudd adopted 9/10 of that plan). They decided the best thing was general taxation relief. Despite the fact its potentially inflationary which means the banks get it not them. Hooray for the tax plan! No - we refuse to tinker with the system to make things more attractive than others (cough Private Health Rebate cough).

Rudd - Why do the rich get an immediate tax break when there are pressures on systems we can address now. Go Ruddy. Mentions his education plan which was kewl. Going against child care costs. Nice mention. So far calm and unflustered. He's doing well.

Presenter - Your plan not inflationary?

Rudd - No. I'm investing in progression elements so more skills/education adds capacity to the economy. Skill shortages translate into inflation pressures. Howard irresponsible on interest rates for saying 'record lows'. Rudd saying he's not going to make said promise because he's not a cockhead. Aim for downward pressure.

Howard - If Rudd believes making Reserve bank manage monetary policy why does the ALP stand against budget surpluses. Er they don't. They voted against shitty aspects of your budgets you misleading arsehole. Er Housing 17% interest rate! Let's not forget that! Forgetting of course A) it was temporary and B) used to fix the economy which he took advantage for claiming it was all him. Why do people fall for this shit? Again 'always lower under a Liberal government'. How the fuck can he guarantee that. He's claiming he's accountable now! Remember the 17%!


Kelly - why are you cutting tax when it will increase upward pressure on interest rate. Slammo ! That's gotta hurt given Kelly is government gazette man.

Howard - er inflation is the interest rate kicker. So er no. Because the economy has grown we can provide tax relief and they are not inflationary. Because ... of workchoices? Huh? He's not making much sense. See the transcript. Oh here we are 'if you don't have unions high wages are not inflationary.' ????

Kelly - tax cuts will increase demand on the economy, so will you reconsider if they are?

Howard - no. They will dampen wage demands apparently. Huh?

Rudd - Nice 22% gets another mention (Howard as Treasurer). Rudd claims Labor made mistakes, as 'you did as treasurer'. Rudd mentions Costello said Howard's treasurer record was shit. Rudd mentioned the infrastructure / skill changes needs. Reinforces the ALP skills/infrastructure plan. It's awesome.

Kelly - good point from Kelly. You're (Rudd) doing the same as him (Howard). Education is a 2nd priority.

Rudd - Nup, education rawks. Bullet pointing all his plans.

Note to Howard - all you've done is the negative crap. Rudd is kicking your arse around the block by getting to mention his plans.

Rudd - Howard is killing education. We will fix it.

Oh no Ruddy is going rhetorical on Howard! No ruddy, noooooo! But did mention his policy.

Howard - I will whine about minor details on the edge of the report that Rudd used the report.

Rudd - you suck

Howard - you do. You're dishonest.


Big Laurie- will you owe unions for their support given their workchoice opposing legislation?

Ruddy - no, but I balanced our approach by listening to everyone. See the reaction ? Unions didn't like it. Business didn't like it. Therefore balance good. Rudd is slamming Howard over unions. 'Mr Howard has mentioned it 67,000 times'. Ruddy slammed Howard on the economy and mentioned how ALP REFORMS BOUGHT ABOUT THE CHANGES TO THE ECONOMY! Hooray! Finally he mentioned it.

Howard - yeah they did bring in reforms ... but I supported it! He never supported what I tried to do. Also - unions dominate his front bench. Again. Again. Is that 67,001 mentions? Bringing up the Gavin O'Connor. Oh Howard thinks there should be a 'reasonable percentage' of union officials as ministry - but not this much! Tee hee, what a loon.

Go Big Laurie - mentioning all the evil workchoices crap the Libs had planned that they wanted to implement.

Howard - no concerns. No intention for further IR reform. He believes he got it right (cough fairness test cough). We got rid of unfair dismissal! Sky will fall in according to the unions. 450k! more employees! Fewer strikes! Ergo all WorkChoices apparently. General evidence indicates its been successful - which is why we decided not to release the figures. We're the only ones who worry about unemployment! They don't. They no longer talk about it because union control is more important than jobs. 'We're the party of full employment; they just want to restore union domination!'.

Big Laurie - Why didn't you mention it before the last election?

Howard - er they will have to make a judgment that I always believed in it (piss off). I don't think we have to go any further. Back to the 2nd highest minimum wage of a western country crap. Because you see most workers are on the minimum wage. Not. But on AWAs more likely to be closer to the minimum wage.

Ruddy - Can't trust Howard on IR, WorkChoices. Given what he did before.

Hartcher - Greenhouse question to Rudd.

Rudd - Howard refused to ratify Kyoto. Won't set a carbon target. We all take our responsibility. 60% reduction by 2050 against 2000 levels. 60% is the target number set by science. We place planet in danger by not going for it.

Kelly - Where's the target for 2020? Rudd - when report comes in June we will set it then. Remember we didn't have government support for our reports. We had to commission in.

Howard - We all accept mankind has made a contribution to global warming (nice to see it). We respond but carefully. Shh, in case we wake people. Quietly now! We're developing a trading system that will kick in of 2011. We will set a target mid next year. And our target will be economically sensible and only that will determine the target (but let's ignore the science). Apparently they're going to fund battlers for the rising costs of energy which is cleaner. Please, his concern for the less well off is so so transparent. We do have plan! We will sign a new agreement which includes everyone! Something about cricket.

Hartcher - Turnbull said we should have binding targets. Bush doesn't.

Howard - Turnbull is right! And I will put that view to the US president. Oh dear the Sydney declaration apparently got China and the US to talk about climate change. My close relationship was the lubricant on that meeting. Yes, you heard it first, Howard declared himself to be Climate Change KY. India and China have to be in! Oh - we will meet the targets.

Rudd - China is critical. China doesn't accept targets because we and the US didn't. Rudd mentions preserving the planet. Mentions the clean coal thing. Mentions the innovation fund. Mentions various other funding. Mentions good research but no targets on renewable energy investments. Howard didn't act for 11 years, oh and where are the nuclear reactors? Good point. Where are the nuclear reactors?

Presenter to Howard - Can you change Bush's mind.

Howard - Yes. Yes I can. We have the best chance because you see I can shout up my thoughts right to his large colon given my conjunction with his puckered anus that I am yelling through. Again the Sydney declaration. His Climate Change KY is grouse. I hope someone takes this up.

Presenter - Iraq - increase or decrease terrorism?

Howard - Always a risk - there was Bali pre-Iraq. My foreign policy will not be dictated by terrorists apparently. Which ones? The US or the apparent Islamic dudes? Howard mentioning the Pakistan bombings. Apparently terrorists hate freedom and that's why they attacked. They don't care about race or colour or nationality. Er crap. They do. That's why they conduct terrorism you fuck knuckle.

Presenter - AQ franchised in Iraq most invasion. So AQ increased yes?

Howard - AQ is in retreat in Iraq! And Terrorist hate our way of life! Still not answering the question.

Rudd - Why didn't he answer the question? Because the Brits said it 'would compound terror not decrease it'. Iraq is the greatest error since Vietnam. Nice one Rudd. Iraq is increasing damage to us not reducing it. Balance is important, and you have to deal with the reasons for recruitment such as economic opportunities.

Presenter to Rudd - You withdrawing from Iraq completely?

Rudd - No. Combat troops will be out mid year. The rest will be dealt with in conjunction with the US. No I am not withdrawing the SecDet.

Howard - I agree with SecDet. But what I find strange is that Ruddy has two bob each way. ie leaving ships and air force in Iraq. Ruddy wants to convey impression against Iraq but not really. Fair point I suppose. Howard talking about the training of the Iraqi militias I mean army. 'We're making progress! Humanitarian work!'

Chris 'Former Liberal person' Uhlmann (who said the ABC can't be ideological): You opposed this stuff and now you adopt it! Eg Medicare, Iraq etc. Death Penalty etc

Rudd - pressures on families meant judgment was to revist. Death Penalty stuff - we will do it globally but not act diplomatically for non Australians. Prob true. Nice one Ruddy take that Liberal stooge.

Presenter - Why won't you say sorry?

Howard - Wasn't my fault. The idea of asking a present generation to say sorry for a previous generation is offensive. No, it's not. Because we're the legacy of that generation and we have a responsibility to say 'that was fucked, I'm sorry, let's fix it.' Sigh, going on about his "team" again. The NT was a watershed! 20 years of failure overthrown (11 years by him, including various active things he did against Aboriginal Australians like ramping up against native title).

Presenter to Rudd - You backed it? Agree?

Rudd - We backed it because it was needed. It requires radical thinking. Rudd on Sorry. It's about respect. Creating a bridge. To bridge the gap. The fact an Aboriginal kid is 3-4 times more likely to die is fucked.

Questions eh? Rudd - Redundancy not covered under AWAs? Howard - didn't answer the question. Went on about redundancy scheme he created.

Howard - Why didn't you talk about Climate Change with Bush? Rudd - how do you know? I didn't talk about it. Also, didn't answer the question. Rudd - Bush shut down his mind on the climate change on the issue. I had 40 minutes. You have many more opportunities. Your question was a wank.

Rudd - Why should we believe you on a range of issues when you lie your arse off. Howard - er I will talk about it with yanks it.

(I paused to create Howard KY tube)

Howard - Why can't you give guarantees? I can. Rudd - I won't, but I will create programs that will do the best they can.

Closing time now.

Ruddy - I'm from QLD country. And I am an optimist. But you need to craft a plan for the future. You need to build prosperity beyond the mining boom. You need an education revolution. You need high speed broadband. Nats suck at it. Nice one Ruddy - Howard spent the whole time attacking me and offered no plans for the future.

Howard - I am a supreme optimist. I believe in the people! It's in the hands and resources of the people! Everything they (ALP) said is slogans. So it's all about the economy. Just the economy. Nothing else. Strong economy is important. All important. Education requires basic standards apparently. Despite the fact we're one of the leaders in the western world. Oh and more technical schools (no programs mentioned). We need to restore a narrative of Australian history. Why are we so ashamed of the Australian story (WTF? Teachers - is that true are you not talking about the good things we did? Is it all about genocide?) Restore a proper (RIGHT WING) balance to the country for history.

That's his plan. A new history syllabus.

Jeez I wished people watched this and took notes. Howard - Lefties dominate the schools and unions and the ALP. Rudd - here's what we're going to do.

Rudd kicked his fucking arse.


  1. Rudd kicked his arse alright. Howard looked desperate and sounded old.

    Love your work on the bottle of lube... and the ref to Howard's fun-size Mars Bar... Lol.

  2. The worm had Rudd high up in the white so often that I thought, "No way that's true. Gotta be a glitch." Then the cameras cut to John Howard and everything made sense again.

  3. Then the cameras cut to John Howard and everything made sense again.

    Maybe they should consider putting pictures of the candidates beside the people the ballots. A "here is the person you are voting for" then next to it a pic of Howard, "and this is what you are really voting for."

    Excellent stuff, Mikey.

  4. The spirit fingers Howard or the glum saddo one?

  5. Neither would be flattering.

  6. Very nice work indeed, Mikey.

  7. What I thought was terrific was Rudd reclaiming the the Hawke/Keating economic reforms. For so long Labor has been so unwilling to talk about this important legacy - let alone proudly claim it - that we've allowed the coalition to paint us as less good at the economy.

    It was amazing to see Rudd proudly talk about those reforms and them being the basis of our current prosperity.


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