I have a hairy back. It's Sean Connery/Austin Powers hairy. Well not that hairy, but pretty hairy. It's not attractive. Whilst scratching - for I itch a lot - I felt some lump thing. I picked at it. It felt like one of those hard boil jobies. It half came out. I couldn't get it completely so I asked thewife to have a look.
Her first comment was 'Ew it's all bloody'.
She didn't want to, but with some protective equipment* (folded toilet paper), she picked out the lump.
Blood then ran down my back. It took about three protective equipment sheets to mop it all up and in the end thewife had to alcohol swab it away.
Ewwwwwww back blood
*UPDATE: The term "protective equipment" for toilet paper was invented by thewife. All rights reserved.