At least as long as stuff as outlined in the below article happens.
I feel for the US troops. I do. If the Bush administration had not fucked up the occupation by providing enough troops to guarrantee safety and infrastructure - let alone sack anyone from the former government thus flooding the country with pissed off military veterans and destroy any semblance of administration experience left in the country - then stuff like this might not have happened.
ADF troops are not like this. Unlike the yanks they are trained in peace keeping and peace enforcement to a high standard - the shooting of the trade minister's bodyguard not withstanding. Hearts and minds for example is the bedrock of our ability to look after those in our charge. Our guys are to be commended for their skills and their abilities.
But the yanks, well, fuck me if this doesn't have shades of Vietnam all about it. Macho dickheads in sunnies tromping into the country and driving the people to join an insurgency through abusive dishonourable behaviour. And like Vietnam our guys again did the right thing. We did. If you look at the Australian experience in Vietnam by and large we were not hated, we didn't piss people off, and we looked after those we were in charge of.
However also like Vietnam we got a relatively peaceful area we could call our own and look after it with exceptional ability.
Anway, read this article - as highlighted in Crikey's blogwatch. It's some disturbing reading. And it makes me weep for the utter futility of America trying once again to force countries to adopt an ideology and government they were not ready for by means of blunt force.
It didn't have to be this way. They really could have succeeded had they not made the tremendous blunders they made.
The article is located here
Here's the intro;
Truthdig contributor Nir Rosen, an American reporter who has lived for the last three years in Iraq and who can pass as Middle Eastern, describes what it’s like to live under the boot of a culturally callous—and sometimes criminal—occupying force in Iraq. “The occupation has been one vast extended crime against the Iraqi people, and most of it has occurred unnoticed by the American people and the media.”
By the way let me say this. I supported the invasion of Iraq and I supported it for both WMD and for taking down Hussein. I'm glad he's gone. He was a murderous thug. But I believe now that it was a mistake and containment was the better option - as long as of course the sanctions issue had been corrected and the children of Iraq were not still suffering from the looting of the oil for food program made possible by organisations such as the AWB. I also believe that the US could have succeeded if they had not had fuckwits like Rumsfeld, Bremmer, Cheney, and Wolfowitz in charge. Because if an invasion had happened without those fanatical fuckholes - and there's a good chance it would not have done - the military planners would have got their way with four times as many troops as an initial garrison and co-opting the Iraqi army and bureaucrats into a viable new administration that could have served the Iraqi people well.
The blame for Iraq does not lie on the Iraqis. It lies on Bush and his advisors who chose to ignore numerous studies and assessments from their intelligence and military personnel over what needed to be done to win the peace.
How these people got relected in 2004 is just beyond me. Oh wait, now I remember, the hundreds of millions of dollars they spent and the toxic lies they spread about their more than honourable opponent.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Cause I gotta have faith a faith a faith
I take the Lord's name in vain rather a lot. Both as a cursive, in general conversation, and attacking extreme right wing fuckholes that have distorted the message of Christ - like Pat Robertson or the Hillsong folk. Ditto those in Islam that claim the Koran gives you the moral go ahead to kill innocents. And ditto the Catholic Church that thinks somehow God will be angry if you didn't give HIV to someone because you wore a rubber. However that being said I have immense respect for anyone that holds a faith dear to their heart. Be they Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, or even Athiest. If you take the time and effort to understand, practice, and revere your faith in a loving, caring manner then you are a far worthier person than me.
I got a tad worried I could have potentially offended some kewl friends that read this blog on occasion so sent them an email about it. Their response?
You know what I (we) value greatly? What I love about you in particular? Honesty. What you see is what you get. Well thought through, wity, low or high brow... all real. 100% grade A quality meat with no artificial flavours or preservatives... I am not(and am yet to be) offended. I would only be offended if you censored yourself in front of me. I am however flattered to be called true believer's... it is (He is) the love and passion of my life.
What a kewl response. And that's exactly what faith should be. Don't be offended by what people say about what you believe when it comes to faith - because how should that impact on what you believe? If you hold your faith true in your heart then dickheads like me making crucifixion or suicide bomber jokes should not phase you. Besides, that says far more about me than it does about the target of said religious humour.
I am a lapsed Christian. I was raised in the church and for the most part had a reasonable experience with it. But I identified being a Christian with enforced religion at a private school and unpleasant memories from being a fatty socially retarded geek in a Christian youth group made of popular pretty types ("my precious"). And I found sermons to be boring - and offensive on occasion because I felt the criticized me unfairly.
Yep, I am pretty egotistical huh? It's all about me.
But I miss that glow you had when you believed. When you knew that no matter what happens in this life, if you believe and your heart is true, then a better life was for you in the hereafter. I miss that greatly especially since I have a morbid fear of death.
Maybe I will go back someday? I'm not ruling it out. I know one thing though. Friends who truly turn the other cheek when it comes to stuff like this make it far more likely that I would.
Whoops
I don't drink much any more. Actually I never really did. I can count the number of times I have been truly snorked drunk on one hand. Pissy - sure - lots. But snorked, maybe 4-5. The last real time was back in October 2004 when the Liberal party fear machine squashed Labor into the ground like Abbott, Costello, and Howard were on a comically driven steam roller.
It's on account of the IBS too though. Alcohol is a trigger and leaves me with severe abdominal pain if I do it.
Today a had a few drinks at a function - maybe 5-6 in an hour and a half. So I got a bit tiddly and knew that IBS pain would land in a couple of hours. And it did. I'm in it right now - as well as feeling a bit hung over because I didn't balance the alcohol with drinking water. As a consequence not feeling well nor sure of my legality to drive I had to cancel on a prospective nerd night which was a bit sad. Since I loves my nerd nights.
When I get tiddly I tend to become a bit blotchy and loud. I am naturally effusive ("thank you", "thank you" {accepts flowers} "thank you") anyway and it just means that slightly pissy HM is greater in volume and pushes the boundaries of taste.
Some examples from today.
Seeing a colleague's arm was heavily stitched up from having a melanoma cut out yelled 'you git the number of the shark that bit ya?!?!' then offered to pretend to be the shark for some 'scar licking action'.
Made numerous jokes about a soon to be departing crusty older boss.
Talked about how I used to keep roaches on a brick under a share house then gather the discarded roaches into a pathetic multi roach effort and go the toke.
And upon seeing an errant chicken wing fall in my neighbour's beer bet an aging hippy $10 I'd drink it then eat the wing, which I succeeded at most admirably. Much to the disgust of the beer's owner (the aging hippy replaced his beer).
The worst thing was that we then embarked on a walking tour of an interesting facility where I spent the first 30 minutes dashing off to the toot to piss clear liquid as the Barcadi Breezers what I sculled came shooting back out devoid of its alcoholy goodness.
All in all a fine day out. But I really wish I had not drunk so much, had balanced it with water, and perhaps didn't eat that beer soaked chicken wing. Which was quite unpleasant.
It reminded me of that time in uni when I commited my first - and last - theft of a half full beer can - only to discover upon drinking the previous owner had sabotaged it with a discarded cig.
As I recall I kept drinking and strained the cig from entering the mouth with my teeth.
Not happy Jan. Not happy at all.
It's on account of the IBS too though. Alcohol is a trigger and leaves me with severe abdominal pain if I do it.
Today a had a few drinks at a function - maybe 5-6 in an hour and a half. So I got a bit tiddly and knew that IBS pain would land in a couple of hours. And it did. I'm in it right now - as well as feeling a bit hung over because I didn't balance the alcohol with drinking water. As a consequence not feeling well nor sure of my legality to drive I had to cancel on a prospective nerd night which was a bit sad. Since I loves my nerd nights.
When I get tiddly I tend to become a bit blotchy and loud. I am naturally effusive ("thank you", "thank you" {accepts flowers} "thank you") anyway and it just means that slightly pissy HM is greater in volume and pushes the boundaries of taste.
Some examples from today.
Seeing a colleague's arm was heavily stitched up from having a melanoma cut out yelled 'you git the number of the shark that bit ya?!?!' then offered to pretend to be the shark for some 'scar licking action'.
Made numerous jokes about a soon to be departing crusty older boss.
Talked about how I used to keep roaches on a brick under a share house then gather the discarded roaches into a pathetic multi roach effort and go the toke.
And upon seeing an errant chicken wing fall in my neighbour's beer bet an aging hippy $10 I'd drink it then eat the wing, which I succeeded at most admirably. Much to the disgust of the beer's owner (the aging hippy replaced his beer).
The worst thing was that we then embarked on a walking tour of an interesting facility where I spent the first 30 minutes dashing off to the toot to piss clear liquid as the Barcadi Breezers what I sculled came shooting back out devoid of its alcoholy goodness.
All in all a fine day out. But I really wish I had not drunk so much, had balanced it with water, and perhaps didn't eat that beer soaked chicken wing. Which was quite unpleasant.
It reminded me of that time in uni when I commited my first - and last - theft of a half full beer can - only to discover upon drinking the previous owner had sabotaged it with a discarded cig.
As I recall I kept drinking and strained the cig from entering the mouth with my teeth.
Not happy Jan. Not happy at all.
Gitmo Goodness - Now with new improved chunks(tm)
It was announced recently that Bush's vaunted military tribunals were found to be illegal. That's right illegal - though it should be noted that the supreme court in the US suggested he go away and have a chat to Congress about ratifying something that would be say less illegal.
I admit to having a warm slow smug glow about this. Of course I am not involved at all in this on any meaningful level. I am just a puffy white boy with an interest in the rights of the accused. But it's nice to see 'the most conservative court in the history of the US in modern times' actually stick up for the law for a change.
There's hope yet.
They also noted that Gitmo falls under Geneva convention provisions. Which is an added bonus.
There's a rash of these stories on the web. So go find your own if you're interested. Here's the SMH one.
I admit to having a warm slow smug glow about this. Of course I am not involved at all in this on any meaningful level. I am just a puffy white boy with an interest in the rights of the accused. But it's nice to see 'the most conservative court in the history of the US in modern times' actually stick up for the law for a change.
There's hope yet.
They also noted that Gitmo falls under Geneva convention provisions. Which is an added bonus.
There's a rash of these stories on the web. So go find your own if you're interested. Here's the SMH one.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Ah this did make me smile
Greg Combet, secretary of the ACTU, said at a rally "I recall we used to run the country and it would not be a bad thing if we did again."
Cue applause and laughter. It's the sort of thing you say on the stump. It was a stump speech.
But no, more than that. It was a conspiracy man.
"Mr Combet in this morning's press has blown the cover, given it away," said Mr Howard in an interview with Sky TV.
"He said, very boldly, there used to be a day, a time, when the unions ran Australia and it wouldn't be a bad idea if that came back. Now this reveals in one sentence what this campaign is all about.
"It's not about the welfare of unionists, it's not about getting the unemployed back into work, it's not about boosting their real wages, it's about union power."
That's right man, it's all a plot man. With black helicopters man, and tinfoil hats man. Area 51 man, look to area 51.
See the full story here.
Left: Greg Combet ... evil
I'll just say this. Hands up which party receives known donations from a key support group of a particular brand of ideology. Aha - yes - the ALP.
Now, hands up which party just legislated so secret donations from their ideological supporters can be provided to the party's coffers up to $10,000 at a time.
Why that would be the Liberal party.
Talk about secret plots.
Yes the unions back Labor. It's no secret. Never has been. At least they provide their support out in the open you hippocritical toad.
Cue applause and laughter. It's the sort of thing you say on the stump. It was a stump speech.
But no, more than that. It was a conspiracy man.
"Mr Combet in this morning's press has blown the cover, given it away," said Mr Howard in an interview with Sky TV.
"He said, very boldly, there used to be a day, a time, when the unions ran Australia and it wouldn't be a bad idea if that came back. Now this reveals in one sentence what this campaign is all about.
"It's not about the welfare of unionists, it's not about getting the unemployed back into work, it's not about boosting their real wages, it's about union power."
That's right man, it's all a plot man. With black helicopters man, and tinfoil hats man. Area 51 man, look to area 51.
See the full story here.
Left: Greg Combet ... evilI'll just say this. Hands up which party receives known donations from a key support group of a particular brand of ideology. Aha - yes - the ALP.
Now, hands up which party just legislated so secret donations from their ideological supporters can be provided to the party's coffers up to $10,000 at a time.
Why that would be the Liberal party.
Talk about secret plots.
Yes the unions back Labor. It's no secret. Never has been. At least they provide their support out in the open you hippocritical toad.
Drunk surgeon naked on letterbox
It's from an SMH story located here
Here's the intro
Later in the story it drilled down into greater detail.
Two women, Megan Campbell and Amanda Apro, told police they had seen him masturbating on the letterbox while looking directly at them for about five minutes, on December 10, 2005.
Let me bold the best bit.
for about five minutes
Nice one ladies. I wonder what they said?
'Look at him, he's wanking!'
'So he is, let's call the cops ... hello? cops? Yes there's a man wanking on a letter box. Come quickly.'
'What did they say?'
'They're coming as quick as they can.'
'Really ... how long do you think he's going to take?'
'Dunno ... let's find out.'
Seriously ladies. If you're offended by the sight of a dude having a pull. Which is fair enough because it's not a normal thing to see. I have to ask. Why on earth are you hanging around for another five minutes?
Here's the intro
The children's doctor was sitting naked on an eastern suburbs letterbox masturbating, when the two women spotted him.
They called police, who found him fully dressed at a bus station on Carr Street, Coogee, reeking of alcohol, dazed and confused early on a Saturday morning.
Nice right? Pretty funny. Disgusted women calling the cops because Sanjay Warrier was going the pull. Fair enough.Later in the story it drilled down into greater detail.
Two women, Megan Campbell and Amanda Apro, told police they had seen him masturbating on the letterbox while looking directly at them for about five minutes, on December 10, 2005.
Let me bold the best bit.
for about five minutes
Nice one ladies. I wonder what they said?
'Look at him, he's wanking!'
'So he is, let's call the cops ... hello? cops? Yes there's a man wanking on a letter box. Come quickly.'
'What did they say?'
'They're coming as quick as they can.'
'Really ... how long do you think he's going to take?'
'Dunno ... let's find out.'
Seriously ladies. If you're offended by the sight of a dude having a pull. Which is fair enough because it's not a normal thing to see. I have to ask. Why on earth are you hanging around for another five minutes?
So I ask questions ... so what?
I'm stuck in another office for a couple of weeks assessing documents of a commerical nature. It's the first time I've done it. And since I haven't done it before I ask questions.
Today I was fucking hassled by my team mates for doing so.
Well fuck you. If I don't understand something I'm going to ask. Stupid people are the ones that sit there being stupid and not rectifying it. If you explain something and I don't understand it, chances are it's because you explained it in a fucked in the head manner.
I'm not bragging. I'm just saying I got smarts. And if your process is lame and rooted - for example not letting me keyword search documents for terms to make it easier to find information instead of relying on hard copies only - then I will say so. And claiming that 'the electronic document may vary' does not cut the mustard. If it varies it's their fucking fault - not mine.
My team mates said they suspected I was 'the nerdy kid that asked questions and kept people back after the bell went'.
So what ? I ask questions because unlike you I'm here to fucking learn. And if you don't like it shut the fuck up and let me, that's right me, work it all out so you can come crying to me later and whine about 'I don't get it' where upon I can say 'I do, I found out. Remember? Good luck with that.'
Geez that gives me the shits. And to top it off the work leader moans 'I can't start assessing because you're asking questions.'
Well team leader. Try the fuck explaining it first up in a manner that does not require questions. Nor if you're explaining it and I ask a question do you go 'well if you let me finish I will tell you'. Because it embarrasses me and makes me grump and come back here and rant about how your manner is both condascending, patronising, hectoring, and a whole bunch of other words of similiar meaning that I consider a slap in my large egg shaped head.
There is no such thing as a stupid question. Seriously. It may be embarrasing to ask stuff you should by all rights know. But the real danger is stoopid people wandering off and applying themselves in an incorrect manner and causing more work for people like me, with my massive egg head covered poorly in a light scrub of mouse fur coloured hair.
Later the team leader, who moaned again about 'how slow you are' when it was our first day and we'd never done it before, had a pop quiz. Was I able to answer her questions? Yes I fucking was.
And why was that? Because I took the fucking time to ask fucking questions and make notes and even create a cheat sheet of what to do. A cheat sheet she should have had fucking ready to make all our lives better in the first fucking place.
And if she does it again I will take her the fuck aside and say in no uncertain terms 'I am asking questions because I need to know. If you don't like that I am happy to leave this process and go and do my real job instead of sitting around here feeling like a twat because I am trying to do the right thing by this duty and learn what to do properly.'
Rant over.
Today I was fucking hassled by my team mates for doing so.
Well fuck you. If I don't understand something I'm going to ask. Stupid people are the ones that sit there being stupid and not rectifying it. If you explain something and I don't understand it, chances are it's because you explained it in a fucked in the head manner.
I'm not bragging. I'm just saying I got smarts. And if your process is lame and rooted - for example not letting me keyword search documents for terms to make it easier to find information instead of relying on hard copies only - then I will say so. And claiming that 'the electronic document may vary' does not cut the mustard. If it varies it's their fucking fault - not mine.
My team mates said they suspected I was 'the nerdy kid that asked questions and kept people back after the bell went'.
So what ? I ask questions because unlike you I'm here to fucking learn. And if you don't like it shut the fuck up and let me, that's right me, work it all out so you can come crying to me later and whine about 'I don't get it' where upon I can say 'I do, I found out. Remember? Good luck with that.'
Geez that gives me the shits. And to top it off the work leader moans 'I can't start assessing because you're asking questions.'
Well team leader. Try the fuck explaining it first up in a manner that does not require questions. Nor if you're explaining it and I ask a question do you go 'well if you let me finish I will tell you'. Because it embarrasses me and makes me grump and come back here and rant about how your manner is both condascending, patronising, hectoring, and a whole bunch of other words of similiar meaning that I consider a slap in my large egg shaped head.
There is no such thing as a stupid question. Seriously. It may be embarrasing to ask stuff you should by all rights know. But the real danger is stoopid people wandering off and applying themselves in an incorrect manner and causing more work for people like me, with my massive egg head covered poorly in a light scrub of mouse fur coloured hair.
Later the team leader, who moaned again about 'how slow you are' when it was our first day and we'd never done it before, had a pop quiz. Was I able to answer her questions? Yes I fucking was.
And why was that? Because I took the fucking time to ask fucking questions and make notes and even create a cheat sheet of what to do. A cheat sheet she should have had fucking ready to make all our lives better in the first fucking place.
And if she does it again I will take her the fuck aside and say in no uncertain terms 'I am asking questions because I need to know. If you don't like that I am happy to leave this process and go and do my real job instead of sitting around here feeling like a twat because I am trying to do the right thing by this duty and learn what to do properly.'
Rant over.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
And the card is down...
As you lads might recall the hideous spectre that is the lot of some Australian Aboriginals graced the nation's conscience recently. Mal Brough, federal minister for this portfolio, started talking about how things needed to be fixed. Which was good, but of course talk is cheap.
Instead a whole of goverment approach that tackled every aspect of failing Aboriginal communities, health, law and order, and various other across the board issues to once and for all assist remote and far regional Aboriginals to access services, education, and law and order that we all know and love, Brough elected to play the race card.
Fucking idiot.
He had in his hands an ideal opportunity to fix something that has been broken since white settlement. Instead he wanked on with his law and order summit.
As Chris Graham, editor of the National Indigenous Times, notes in Crikey
Brough promised $130 million as a one-off commitment to the states and territories, but it comes with one big string attached. The states and territories don't get any cash unless they agree to remove Aboriginal customary law as a mitigating circumstance in the legal processes of each jurisdiction.
Currently, Aboriginal people are being treated the same as all other Australians – they are entitled to have their beliefs and their cultural backgrounds taken into account when judges hand down a sentence during a court process. The Howard Government is pushing to ensure Aboriginal people are treated differently to everyone else. This is, of course, the absolute reverse of what the Howard Government says it's all about, but then no-one should be surprised.
Unfucking believable. Wait, I correct myself. Totally believable. Laura Norder combined with the delish combo of silly smelly black people who drink too much, sniff petrol, and rape babies. What more could a racist driven government want at the back of its sail as it drifts towards election time?
I am sick and fucking tired of the subtext that comes from the Howard government. White race good, brown/black race bad. Sure, deny it all you want, but they've spent 10 years telling us that Australians are different because some rape babies and/or want to blow us up, all the while decrying the idea that 'hyphenated Australians' even exist.
Brough, pull your hand off it. Sure it plays well in stump speeches. But you know, you fucking know that this problem will not be fixed by fucked up racist shit like this. Statesmen would look at this problem and see how to solve it. Politicians that play the race card look at the problem and see how to exploit it.
This is what this government has come to. So scared is it of losing the batler Hanson vote it found another way to whip up indignation of the fearful classes that somehow the problem with Aboriginal Australia has boiled down to the fact that their cultural laws excuse them in the rape of babies.
And by the way it doesn't.
If Brough actually cared for the fate of these people he would be calling on the best minds in Australia and overseas, opening up the Howard government bribe chest of surplus money and saying 'guys, take what you need, do it in consultation, and let's fix it so mothers don't ever learn that petrol gets babies to sleep, that Aboriginal Australians can access meaningful resources, and if they get caught in the system of poverty and recidivism that we address this so others don't follow and we help the ones that have.'
It's just that easy. The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. Brough allegedly entered politics to make a difference. But all I see is more of the same tired 'look out, black people about' dance of fear for the bigoted element of our society.
It's weak and its pathetic.
Instead a whole of goverment approach that tackled every aspect of failing Aboriginal communities, health, law and order, and various other across the board issues to once and for all assist remote and far regional Aboriginals to access services, education, and law and order that we all know and love, Brough elected to play the race card.
Fucking idiot.
He had in his hands an ideal opportunity to fix something that has been broken since white settlement. Instead he wanked on with his law and order summit.
As Chris Graham, editor of the National Indigenous Times, notes in Crikey
Brough promised $130 million as a one-off commitment to the states and territories, but it comes with one big string attached. The states and territories don't get any cash unless they agree to remove Aboriginal customary law as a mitigating circumstance in the legal processes of each jurisdiction.
Currently, Aboriginal people are being treated the same as all other Australians – they are entitled to have their beliefs and their cultural backgrounds taken into account when judges hand down a sentence during a court process. The Howard Government is pushing to ensure Aboriginal people are treated differently to everyone else. This is, of course, the absolute reverse of what the Howard Government says it's all about, but then no-one should be surprised.
Unfucking believable. Wait, I correct myself. Totally believable. Laura Norder combined with the delish combo of silly smelly black people who drink too much, sniff petrol, and rape babies. What more could a racist driven government want at the back of its sail as it drifts towards election time?
I am sick and fucking tired of the subtext that comes from the Howard government. White race good, brown/black race bad. Sure, deny it all you want, but they've spent 10 years telling us that Australians are different because some rape babies and/or want to blow us up, all the while decrying the idea that 'hyphenated Australians' even exist.
Brough, pull your hand off it. Sure it plays well in stump speeches. But you know, you fucking know that this problem will not be fixed by fucked up racist shit like this. Statesmen would look at this problem and see how to solve it. Politicians that play the race card look at the problem and see how to exploit it.
This is what this government has come to. So scared is it of losing the batler Hanson vote it found another way to whip up indignation of the fearful classes that somehow the problem with Aboriginal Australia has boiled down to the fact that their cultural laws excuse them in the rape of babies.
And by the way it doesn't.
If Brough actually cared for the fate of these people he would be calling on the best minds in Australia and overseas, opening up the Howard government bribe chest of surplus money and saying 'guys, take what you need, do it in consultation, and let's fix it so mothers don't ever learn that petrol gets babies to sleep, that Aboriginal Australians can access meaningful resources, and if they get caught in the system of poverty and recidivism that we address this so others don't follow and we help the ones that have.'
It's just that easy. The flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. Brough allegedly entered politics to make a difference. But all I see is more of the same tired 'look out, black people about' dance of fear for the bigoted element of our society.
It's weak and its pathetic.
Does CGI mean the end of midget employment in the movies?
Whilst attending the movies in celebration of my completing my 14th year of uni studies I passed the poster for "Little Man", the latest Wayan's brothers movie out and about. On it is a CGI shrunk Wayan's brother staring as the little man.
Then I got to figuring. With CGI as good as it is now, witness the Hobbits in LOTR, does that mean the end of midgets being able to walk into a studio and say in a squeaky voice 'point me to specialist extras'?
There was a time goddam it when little people were given the red carpet treatment in Hollywood. Okay, maybe not red carpet maybe like a carpet offcut or a hall runner treatment. That being little meant you could be an Ewok, a dwarf, a hobbit, circus folk, suspiciously adult babies, stunt doubles for kids ("I'm Milhouse vhen he gets hurt"), ET, or R2D2 – all manner of small goodness.
But now, with CGI does this mean a little person getting a free ride on the floor of the dream factory is now at an end?
The glory days must have been the 1939 Wizard of Oz. Practically every little person in the country was rounded by professional midget wranglers. Likely herded into horse floats and transported en-masse to the west coast. A rumour went around that the little people were feted with keggers and got toasted. Nicely, nicely toasted. But consarnit if Wiki didn't ruin that fine tale with some probable truth – claiming it was all an exaggeration. That sucks. I had this image of glorious technicolour made that much more colourful with tiny technicolour yawns. It would have been kewl.
Of course there is still good niche work for a midget specialist who can talk and actually act, as opposed to prancing around in that odd stumpy way midgets like to do. Tony Cox of Bad Santa, Verne Troyer of Austin Powers fame, and Danny Woodburn who played Mickey in Seinfeld. All top notch actors from the lower shelf.
Left: Tony Cox
I suppose there is probably a drop off in the number of midget people growing to be midgets now. Those that find out while pregnant may choose to terminate, and there's growth hormones harvested from cadavers that can address the condition for some, not to mention arm and leg breaking that goes on for others (their legs and arms get broken, stretched, healed, then broken again until they have gained sufficient limb length - women in China are getting it done now as a career enhancer too).
So maybe this is a natural thing? More CGI means less midget work, but there's less midgets to do the work because fewer are coming up the pipe?
What I'd like to see is a movie featuring a midget actor that is playing a straight dramatic role that incidentally focuses on the fact they are a small person. Sure it will have to cover some things like their using normal sized stuff, but not have them in the movie because their height makes them fantastical or fun to look at as opposed to everyday life.
As a short dude myself – me being 5'4" I think – I used to cop a fair amount of shit. But of course being short and being a dwarf is something completely different. It would suck. Your entire being would be defined by others largely based on how short you were as opposed to your value as a human being. Much like I am doing right now.
And even if you did want to enter the biz you got Hollywood shrinking Wayan's brothers instead of giving the role to someone like Tony Cox, who could out act a Wayan any day of the week. Plus – he was also black so he had that going for him.
Vote #1 no CGI for little people.
I'm going to go picket a studio with my tiny sign.
Then I got to figuring. With CGI as good as it is now, witness the Hobbits in LOTR, does that mean the end of midgets being able to walk into a studio and say in a squeaky voice 'point me to specialist extras'?
There was a time goddam it when little people were given the red carpet treatment in Hollywood. Okay, maybe not red carpet maybe like a carpet offcut or a hall runner treatment. That being little meant you could be an Ewok, a dwarf, a hobbit, circus folk, suspiciously adult babies, stunt doubles for kids ("I'm Milhouse vhen he gets hurt"), ET, or R2D2 – all manner of small goodness.
But now, with CGI does this mean a little person getting a free ride on the floor of the dream factory is now at an end?
The glory days must have been the 1939 Wizard of Oz. Practically every little person in the country was rounded by professional midget wranglers. Likely herded into horse floats and transported en-masse to the west coast. A rumour went around that the little people were feted with keggers and got toasted. Nicely, nicely toasted. But consarnit if Wiki didn't ruin that fine tale with some probable truth – claiming it was all an exaggeration. That sucks. I had this image of glorious technicolour made that much more colourful with tiny technicolour yawns. It would have been kewl.
Of course there is still good niche work for a midget specialist who can talk and actually act, as opposed to prancing around in that odd stumpy way midgets like to do. Tony Cox of Bad Santa, Verne Troyer of Austin Powers fame, and Danny Woodburn who played Mickey in Seinfeld. All top notch actors from the lower shelf.
Left: Tony CoxI suppose there is probably a drop off in the number of midget people growing to be midgets now. Those that find out while pregnant may choose to terminate, and there's growth hormones harvested from cadavers that can address the condition for some, not to mention arm and leg breaking that goes on for others (their legs and arms get broken, stretched, healed, then broken again until they have gained sufficient limb length - women in China are getting it done now as a career enhancer too).
So maybe this is a natural thing? More CGI means less midget work, but there's less midgets to do the work because fewer are coming up the pipe?
What I'd like to see is a movie featuring a midget actor that is playing a straight dramatic role that incidentally focuses on the fact they are a small person. Sure it will have to cover some things like their using normal sized stuff, but not have them in the movie because their height makes them fantastical or fun to look at as opposed to everyday life.
As a short dude myself – me being 5'4" I think – I used to cop a fair amount of shit. But of course being short and being a dwarf is something completely different. It would suck. Your entire being would be defined by others largely based on how short you were as opposed to your value as a human being. Much like I am doing right now.
And even if you did want to enter the biz you got Hollywood shrinking Wayan's brothers instead of giving the role to someone like Tony Cox, who could out act a Wayan any day of the week. Plus – he was also black so he had that going for him.
Vote #1 no CGI for little people.
I'm going to go picket a studio with my tiny sign.
Take that into your back face
Well I is done. Fuck me my hand is hurting harder than when I came first and third in a wanking contest (ho, ho).
It's cramped up. Much like the cramped hand as modelled in the episode where George becomes a hand model. As irony would have it cramping that occured due to chronic self love.
I left the exam 25 minutes early. I should have gone back over my answers but my pain threshold had been hit. I said there throbbing nastily away and my words a blur of incomprehension. I just ran into my tutor. I apologised for the crap hand writing and offered to come in and read it to her if I had to.
They actually allow that. There was one guy they had to helicopter back to uni and ask him to read his paper. No fooling - sent a helicopter to get him.
Least that's what they told me.
It's bittersweet. I have finished now, and I doubt I will ever come back to suckle the salty teat that is tertiary study - well that's how I'm feeling at the moment anyway. I worked out that since I joined the public service in 1997 I spent the following years doing uni as well; 1998-1999, 2001-2002, 2004-2006. Fuck me if that isn't a lot of study. Not intensively. Just one unit at a time plodding along.
Of course my newly minted Masters which I get in December (I don't get why I can't say I have it now? Or do I say pending once marks arrive?) is of no practical use to me in my current job. Nor, thanks to my ability to push panel members over and other failures at interview, will I likely be able to use it to get another job.
Still, I finished. And that's something. A big shout out to all the peeps that helped make it possible. To my study buds, to awesome tutors, to my work for letting me do it, to friends that supported me along the way. And most of all to The Wife. Who put up with me having weekends at work and nights late in the office, and let me off domestic duties now and then when stuff was due.
Domestic duties ... hmmm.
Honey, guess what? I've enrolled in another course!
(ducks plate)
It's cramped up. Much like the cramped hand as modelled in the episode where George becomes a hand model. As irony would have it cramping that occured due to chronic self love.
I left the exam 25 minutes early. I should have gone back over my answers but my pain threshold had been hit. I said there throbbing nastily away and my words a blur of incomprehension. I just ran into my tutor. I apologised for the crap hand writing and offered to come in and read it to her if I had to.
They actually allow that. There was one guy they had to helicopter back to uni and ask him to read his paper. No fooling - sent a helicopter to get him.
Least that's what they told me.
It's bittersweet. I have finished now, and I doubt I will ever come back to suckle the salty teat that is tertiary study - well that's how I'm feeling at the moment anyway. I worked out that since I joined the public service in 1997 I spent the following years doing uni as well; 1998-1999, 2001-2002, 2004-2006. Fuck me if that isn't a lot of study. Not intensively. Just one unit at a time plodding along.
Of course my newly minted Masters which I get in December (I don't get why I can't say I have it now? Or do I say pending once marks arrive?) is of no practical use to me in my current job. Nor, thanks to my ability to push panel members over and other failures at interview, will I likely be able to use it to get another job.
Still, I finished. And that's something. A big shout out to all the peeps that helped make it possible. To my study buds, to awesome tutors, to my work for letting me do it, to friends that supported me along the way. And most of all to The Wife. Who put up with me having weekends at work and nights late in the office, and let me off domestic duties now and then when stuff was due.
Domestic duties ... hmmm.
Honey, guess what? I've enrolled in another course!
(ducks plate)
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Good one Building Maintenance
Whilst walking to my car to drive it from a far car park to a closer car park so my post exam study walk out the door at 9 pm wasn't as cold I passed a series of bike racks at my work. It's then I noticed something odd.
My department is pretty big. So there's lots of bike racks. It's fairly secure because there are cameras and the odd guard around.
But even so.
You'd think ... they'd bolt the bike racks down. Yep, every single one of them literally free standing. I gave them an experimental wobble.
All it would take is a a couple of dudes in a truck armed with a clipboard.
"Here for the bike racks mate," says the driver. "Been ordered to take them away with the bikes for a security thing."
"No worries mate," says a guard.
In go the bike racks with bikes. Off drives the truck.
The official looking dude with the clipboard is a common con. Here in the ACT I think more than one pub or club was taken for a ride when the clipboard men turned up with a ute to take the cig machine "for a service".
Serviced alright. With jimmys to get the f_cker open so they could loot it.
I think I've heard of art galleries being done like this. And foyer furniture. Guys in overalls with clipboards come in, look official, brazenly steal stuff and walk off with it. Sometimes they give receipts.
Imagine getting the receipt then realising five minutes later what happened?
Bummer.
Anyway, it's not listed in the wiki on cons, since it's not really a con. Just tricky theft. But if you're curious check out the wiki anyway - located here.
My brother had the Speaker scam tried on him but didn't fall for it.
He did get taken for a couple of hundred quid in the UK once. He was half pissed in a 'Gentleman's Club' in London and he got offered a membership. I'll try and find out the details of how they got it out of him, but I think they were hazy on the total costs. I believe he was half way down the street afterwards when he realised what had happened, and how much they'd taken him for, and when he tried to get the money back he started crying and they gave him a free scotch and coke before saying in a cockney voice "Now, now Mr (HM's Brother) - you voluntarily entered this arrangement and we can't refund your money."
Double bummer.
My department is pretty big. So there's lots of bike racks. It's fairly secure because there are cameras and the odd guard around.
But even so.
You'd think ... they'd bolt the bike racks down. Yep, every single one of them literally free standing. I gave them an experimental wobble.
All it would take is a a couple of dudes in a truck armed with a clipboard.
"Here for the bike racks mate," says the driver. "Been ordered to take them away with the bikes for a security thing."
"No worries mate," says a guard.
In go the bike racks with bikes. Off drives the truck.
The official looking dude with the clipboard is a common con. Here in the ACT I think more than one pub or club was taken for a ride when the clipboard men turned up with a ute to take the cig machine "for a service".
Serviced alright. With jimmys to get the f_cker open so they could loot it.
I think I've heard of art galleries being done like this. And foyer furniture. Guys in overalls with clipboards come in, look official, brazenly steal stuff and walk off with it. Sometimes they give receipts.
Imagine getting the receipt then realising five minutes later what happened?
Bummer.
Anyway, it's not listed in the wiki on cons, since it's not really a con. Just tricky theft. But if you're curious check out the wiki anyway - located here.
My brother had the Speaker scam tried on him but didn't fall for it.
He did get taken for a couple of hundred quid in the UK once. He was half pissed in a 'Gentleman's Club' in London and he got offered a membership. I'll try and find out the details of how they got it out of him, but I think they were hazy on the total costs. I believe he was half way down the street afterwards when he realised what had happened, and how much they'd taken him for, and when he tried to get the money back he started crying and they gave him a free scotch and coke before saying in a cockney voice "Now, now Mr (HM's Brother) - you voluntarily entered this arrangement and we can't refund your money."
Double bummer.
Humour Rule - Putting "The" in front of something makes it funnier
Family Guy does it a lot.
For example
Instead of "Gays" it becomes "The Gays"
Instead of "Aids" it becomes "The Aids"
Of course it doesn't work with things that already have "The". For example "The Nazis" or "The KKK".
For example
Instead of "Gays" it becomes "The Gays"
Instead of "Aids" it becomes "The Aids"
Of course it doesn't work with things that already have "The". For example "The Nazis" or "The KKK".
The Circle of Life
It's the circle of life
And it moves us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding In the circle
The circle of life
Unwanted local free newspaper arrives in letter box
Unread unwanted local free newspaper arrives in recycling bin
Tomorrow is my last exam
At Homer's work station, a workman brings in a new, nice chair for him.
Carl and Lenny watch.
Homer: Jealous?
Lenny: Well...no, we've got the same chair.
Homer: [smug] You're jealous.
Carl and Lenny watch.
Homer: Jealous?
Lenny: Well...no, we've got the same chair.
Homer: [smug] You're jealous.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Oh Christ No
Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour.About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI ?" that is, "MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME ?"
Now Paris eyes up a music career
What a farking idiot
Customs arrested a woman at Perth airport for concealing 320 condoms of heroin in her person.
See the story here.
Look I think the war on drugs is dumb. I think human beings are always going to seek out chemical means to trip out and making those illegal just allows things like organised crime to flourish. It should be legal, it should be controlled. And if you do something under the influence of a drug that is illegal then you're a nob and it's no real excuse.
Rant away about that but that's just what I feel.
In this case she's a farking idiot because if one or more had burst she could have died. Let alone the fact that it's illegal.
What's a mule get anyway? 5k? Is that worth the risk to your life? The cost of my shithouse car?
Idiots.
See the story here.
Look I think the war on drugs is dumb. I think human beings are always going to seek out chemical means to trip out and making those illegal just allows things like organised crime to flourish. It should be legal, it should be controlled. And if you do something under the influence of a drug that is illegal then you're a nob and it's no real excuse.
Rant away about that but that's just what I feel.
In this case she's a farking idiot because if one or more had burst she could have died. Let alone the fact that it's illegal.
What's a mule get anyway? 5k? Is that worth the risk to your life? The cost of my shithouse car?
Idiots.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
The Break Up - an HM review where he talks mostly about himself again
The wife and I risked another trip to the movies to spy out some movie goodness.
We selected The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. We'll, I got to choose it. The Wife probably wanted to see Cars.
We watched it. It was in a smaller cinema - which I prefer - and after negotiating incredibly long lines managed to sit and watch.
This time we had two mobile phone people and a loud talker/repeater. You know, it's the music bit so I can talk now types and who repeat the last section of dialogue - also loudly. Mr Loud Talker was also one of the mobile phone people.
To their credit they had it on vibrate, and one whispered theirs, and loud talker took his outside, so irritating yes, but steps taken to lessen the irritation to others. They still should have turned the phones off but hey at least this is some progress.
The movie. It was ... good. It was not the dramedy I had thought it to be - and while there were funny bits - there was a lot of the raw stuff too. Those stoopid arguments you have as a couple that come out of nowhere then blossom like a mushroom cloud to include all manner of crap.
It was very close to home. We've been together about 10-11 years all up. And in our time we've had some doozies - like me smearing toast on a door because it got interrupted, and even my turning off every light in the house, locking all the doors, and leaving The Wife to come home to a cold, dark, uninviting place because of a fight over the washing up (which I hate - the washing up - and the fights over it).
We've certainly had slammed doors and angry drive or walk offs, but never more than for a couple of hours. It doesn't happen often. Indeed it's rare. And more often than not the fights were because one party was stressed or depressed and not coping well and lashed out.
There's no secret to success with living together - because all of us fight. Basically you have to care enough to make up. And if you don't then maybe it's a sign things are not well.
Relationships are tricky, involved, amazing, dangerous, and insane things. They need care, and they need consideration. And given I am an obstinate, annoying, difficult to live with person, it can't be easy for The Wife.
The Break Up. It will make you think, and you will see stuff in you up there on the screen.
It's worth seeing, but don't expect a laugh-a-thon.
We selected The Break Up with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. We'll, I got to choose it. The Wife probably wanted to see Cars.
We watched it. It was in a smaller cinema - which I prefer - and after negotiating incredibly long lines managed to sit and watch.
This time we had two mobile phone people and a loud talker/repeater. You know, it's the music bit so I can talk now types and who repeat the last section of dialogue - also loudly. Mr Loud Talker was also one of the mobile phone people.
To their credit they had it on vibrate, and one whispered theirs, and loud talker took his outside, so irritating yes, but steps taken to lessen the irritation to others. They still should have turned the phones off but hey at least this is some progress.
The movie. It was ... good. It was not the dramedy I had thought it to be - and while there were funny bits - there was a lot of the raw stuff too. Those stoopid arguments you have as a couple that come out of nowhere then blossom like a mushroom cloud to include all manner of crap.
It was very close to home. We've been together about 10-11 years all up. And in our time we've had some doozies - like me smearing toast on a door because it got interrupted, and even my turning off every light in the house, locking all the doors, and leaving The Wife to come home to a cold, dark, uninviting place because of a fight over the washing up (which I hate - the washing up - and the fights over it).
We've certainly had slammed doors and angry drive or walk offs, but never more than for a couple of hours. It doesn't happen often. Indeed it's rare. And more often than not the fights were because one party was stressed or depressed and not coping well and lashed out.
There's no secret to success with living together - because all of us fight. Basically you have to care enough to make up. And if you don't then maybe it's a sign things are not well.
Relationships are tricky, involved, amazing, dangerous, and insane things. They need care, and they need consideration. And given I am an obstinate, annoying, difficult to live with person, it can't be easy for The Wife.
The Break Up. It will make you think, and you will see stuff in you up there on the screen.
It's worth seeing, but don't expect a laugh-a-thon.
Friday, June 23, 2006
I wonder...
It's been said that the last movie John Howard went and saw in a cinema was Four Weddings and a Funeral. It's on now. Makes sense. It came out around in 1994. Either that or it's his favourite movie.
I wonder if he's watching it tonight? I know he's probably still got that plasma TV he was road testing for Telstra or one of the telecommunications companies - and it's likely this is not his POV.
But ... do you think there's a good chance he's watching it wearing his Vodaphone tracksuit?
I do. I think it's like his blankey or something.
I wonder what he thought of the funeral scene, where one gay man mourns the death of his long time partner, and offers up the words 'Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in.'
And do you think at that moment Howard felt that the human race was threatened by the idea that two men who were romantically involved could one day be married?
I do. The bigoted little snake weasel.
(Oh photoshop challenge. A snake weasel with JH glasses and eyebrows. Photoshoppers, start your engines...)
I wonder if he's watching it tonight? I know he's probably still got that plasma TV he was road testing for Telstra or one of the telecommunications companies - and it's likely this is not his POV.
But ... do you think there's a good chance he's watching it wearing his Vodaphone tracksuit?
I do. I think it's like his blankey or something.
I wonder what he thought of the funeral scene, where one gay man mourns the death of his long time partner, and offers up the words 'Gareth used to prefer funerals to weddings. He said it was easier to get enthusiastic about a ceremony one had an outside chance of eventually being involved in.'
And do you think at that moment Howard felt that the human race was threatened by the idea that two men who were romantically involved could one day be married?
I do. The bigoted little snake weasel.
(Oh photoshop challenge. A snake weasel with JH glasses and eyebrows. Photoshoppers, start your engines...)
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Ah memories - bought back to life by the good people at Crikey
Christian Kerr of Crikey was commenting on Tony Abbott's child like glee in mentioning failed to materialise tax cuts that were 'L-A-W' according to then PM Keating back in 1987.
Kerr points out the Libs have a lot, a lot of errant crap on their side of the fence.
Like this pearler from an ABC story which can be found here that discussed a certain then opposition leader's views on wages systems.
KIM LANDERS: Nine years ago, when he was Opposition leader, John Howard did make such a pledge. He delivered it to the Young Liberal Convention in Canberra, just a couple of months before winning the 1996 election.
JOHN HOWARD: Under no circumstances will a Howard Government create a wages system that will cause the take home pay of Australians to be cut. Under a Howard Government you cannot be worse off, but you can be better off. I give this rock solid guarantee our policy will not cause a cut in the take home pay of Australian workers.
Of course Howard has done famous other 'never ever' stuff like with the GST. But at least he went to an election on that issue. He didn't with the IR changes.
Oh, they're changes. Not reforms. Because these made it worse. Which is hardly reform.
Kerr points out the Libs have a lot, a lot of errant crap on their side of the fence.
Like this pearler from an ABC story which can be found here that discussed a certain then opposition leader's views on wages systems.
KIM LANDERS: Nine years ago, when he was Opposition leader, John Howard did make such a pledge. He delivered it to the Young Liberal Convention in Canberra, just a couple of months before winning the 1996 election.
JOHN HOWARD: Under no circumstances will a Howard Government create a wages system that will cause the take home pay of Australians to be cut. Under a Howard Government you cannot be worse off, but you can be better off. I give this rock solid guarantee our policy will not cause a cut in the take home pay of Australian workers.
Of course Howard has done famous other 'never ever' stuff like with the GST. But at least he went to an election on that issue. He didn't with the IR changes.
Oh, they're changes. Not reforms. Because these made it worse. Which is hardly reform.
Performance Art I'd like to see
I'd like to see performance art as an ad. An artist makes up a trippy short film - maybe just 30 seconds - and runs it in ad time. No explanation. No reason. Just sticks it in there. Exposes us drones to a brief flash of coolness.
Other performance art I'd like to see is apparent destruction of a real priceless art work.
Say it gets bought for a poo load of money. Then it gets swapped for a fake in a frame that looks just like the real one. It is taken past all the other sad bidders and outside. Curious, they gather. Then out comes the perfomance artist with a shottie and 'BANG!' (click click) 'BANG' (click click) 'BANG'
That would be kewl.
Other performance art I'd like to see is apparent destruction of a real priceless art work.
Say it gets bought for a poo load of money. Then it gets swapped for a fake in a frame that looks just like the real one. It is taken past all the other sad bidders and outside. Curious, they gather. Then out comes the perfomance artist with a shottie and 'BANG!' (click click) 'BANG' (click click) 'BANG'
That would be kewl.
NERDS!
The above header is a quote from Homer in the College episode of the Simpsons, where Homer decides he is a Jock and yells at the first person he sees. Much to the shock of other students.
On our vigorous constitutionals around our offices at lunch time, and in between trying to gross out Cass with adult or sewerage talk, Techno, Cass and I discuss many esoteric issues. I don't remember how this came up, but topic was touched on. Specifically the issue was what is the difference between Nerds and Geeks.
Turns out the difference depends who you are talking to. The wiki reference was most helpful in this regard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerd
The wiki had a link to another wiki which discussed a reputedly famous web essay on nerd life in general, the essay which can be found here.
Left: NERDS!
Fuck me if it wasn't intensely interesting.
I was an unashamed social failure in high school. I was high strung, socially awkward, overweight, lazy, and very, very irritating. Extremely irritating. I've said this before many times. Had I been a late 90's kid I would have been on Ritalin. Back then they just took me off sugar for three years – and didn't that suck.
Whilst not academically gifted, because I really didn't give a shit, I was nonetheless a nerd in the sense that I was a pen and paper gamer (as opposed to a Playstation fiend like today's kids). But believe it or not that didn't really matter at my school. And in fact neither did it if you were smart or not. Probably because my school was an aberration in the sense that being a university town, a lot of academics sent their kids to my school.
But what made a difference was difference. Marked difference to the social norm, and not willing to be a part of the bizarrely complex arrangement that is high school socialisation.
I did want to be a part of it. I just didn't cope with the minutia of rules that went with it. I didn't give a shit about clothes, and because I was a chubbo I had no chance with the chicks anyway. Being fat is poison when it comes to the delicate dance that is boy on girl relations in high school. Least, that's what I put it down to. I had weird patterns of behaviour, which marked me as outside the herd which so didn't help.
But I was allowed to join social groups after a fashion – and I even got to go to the odd party. In fact, by the end of year 12 - I was doing okay. I still wasn't cool – not by a long shot. But I wasn't a reviled scumwad either. In terms of the essay I was probably on a table that straddled C-D.
What the essay really bought home to me was this idea of school being a part time prison. It resonated with me strongly. Paul Graham argues that school as a societal system is an aberration. In the old days children were in the workplace as 'junior adults' from an early age – say as farmers in the field, or apprentices in the work shop. Now teens are poorly supervised by distant adults, who are much like prison warders, with kids given largely useless tasks and facts to memorise.
Teenagers he argues have become economically useless save for the fast food industry. So they get put on pause, thrust into this environment, and have to learn the rules of a distorted society that ordinarily they would not be a part of. Here's a kewl snippet.
Instead of depending on some real test, one's rank depends mostly on one's ability to increase one's rank. It's like the court of Louis XIV. There is no external opponent, so the kids become one another's opponents.
When there is some real external test of skill, it isn't painful to be at the bottom of the hierarchy. A rookie on a football team doesn't resent the skill of the veteran; he hopes to be like him one day and is happy to have the chance to learn from him. The veteran may in turn feel a sense of noblesse oblige. And most importantly, their status depends on how well they do against opponents, not on whether they can push the other down.
Court hierarchies are another thing entirely. This type of society debases anyone who enters it. There is neither admiration at the bottom, nor noblesse oblige at the top. It's kill or be killed.
This is to me very true. I saw this happen in my school. Difference was punished, and people used it to move up. Even I did it. I hated myself for it but I can remember in grade 10 picking on this kid that was smaller than me (just) that everyone else hated. I once went up to him in class and punched him for no reason – actually I had a reason – I was pointing out I wasn't him to the others. I like to think I did that once and woke up to myself. I'm pretty sure I did.
He later left school early then killed a girl in a crash where he had been speeding. His life was fucked up by school.
So many lives are fucked up in this distorted unreality. I love modern society. I do. I love the fact we learn and are educated. But there's a lot that resonates about the idea that schools come with the downside of a fucked up culture that causes many people intense pain even after they leave.
I still flash on high school stuff. Lately I've been having intense dreams about being at the school reunion I missed. It's weird. Why should I care so much about what some kids, that's right kids, did to me 16 years ago? I choose to give painful memories power. And I am going to try and do that no longer.
I was different. I was a nob. I was a fat git then, and a fatter lesser git now. Does it matter in the great scheme of things? Hell no.
But my heart goes out to all those kids hitting high school now. To those that invest their time and effort to play the court game, and to those that sit outside it whether by exclusion or choice.
And to those that are unhappy, just remember this. As Paul Graham says adult life is far, far better. Not only do you get to associate with who you are comfortable with and who treasure you, but when people assault you they get their arses slung into court.
So two fingers to those that gave me shit, and a heartfelt sorry to those I gave shit to.
I'm putting this crap behind me. Because I've been in adult land near 20 years now and I friggin' love it.
(On a side note, the wife used to humorously abuse me as I would head off to nerd nights with Techno and pals - screaming 'NERDS!' like Homer as loud as she could through the open kitchen window. Trust me, it was funny. It was even funnier when the gaming lads would see her at group gatherings and ask in a fake hurt voice if it was true, causing her to go pink with embarrassment. Ha! Revenge of the Nerds sweets, Revenge of the Nerds).
On our vigorous constitutionals around our offices at lunch time, and in between trying to gross out Cass with adult or sewerage talk, Techno, Cass and I discuss many esoteric issues. I don't remember how this came up, but topic was touched on. Specifically the issue was what is the difference between Nerds and Geeks.
Turns out the difference depends who you are talking to. The wiki reference was most helpful in this regard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerd
The wiki had a link to another wiki which discussed a reputedly famous web essay on nerd life in general, the essay which can be found here.
Left: NERDS!Fuck me if it wasn't intensely interesting.
I was an unashamed social failure in high school. I was high strung, socially awkward, overweight, lazy, and very, very irritating. Extremely irritating. I've said this before many times. Had I been a late 90's kid I would have been on Ritalin. Back then they just took me off sugar for three years – and didn't that suck.
Whilst not academically gifted, because I really didn't give a shit, I was nonetheless a nerd in the sense that I was a pen and paper gamer (as opposed to a Playstation fiend like today's kids). But believe it or not that didn't really matter at my school. And in fact neither did it if you were smart or not. Probably because my school was an aberration in the sense that being a university town, a lot of academics sent their kids to my school.
But what made a difference was difference. Marked difference to the social norm, and not willing to be a part of the bizarrely complex arrangement that is high school socialisation.
I did want to be a part of it. I just didn't cope with the minutia of rules that went with it. I didn't give a shit about clothes, and because I was a chubbo I had no chance with the chicks anyway. Being fat is poison when it comes to the delicate dance that is boy on girl relations in high school. Least, that's what I put it down to. I had weird patterns of behaviour, which marked me as outside the herd which so didn't help.
But I was allowed to join social groups after a fashion – and I even got to go to the odd party. In fact, by the end of year 12 - I was doing okay. I still wasn't cool – not by a long shot. But I wasn't a reviled scumwad either. In terms of the essay I was probably on a table that straddled C-D.
What the essay really bought home to me was this idea of school being a part time prison. It resonated with me strongly. Paul Graham argues that school as a societal system is an aberration. In the old days children were in the workplace as 'junior adults' from an early age – say as farmers in the field, or apprentices in the work shop. Now teens are poorly supervised by distant adults, who are much like prison warders, with kids given largely useless tasks and facts to memorise.
Teenagers he argues have become economically useless save for the fast food industry. So they get put on pause, thrust into this environment, and have to learn the rules of a distorted society that ordinarily they would not be a part of. Here's a kewl snippet.
Instead of depending on some real test, one's rank depends mostly on one's ability to increase one's rank. It's like the court of Louis XIV. There is no external opponent, so the kids become one another's opponents.
When there is some real external test of skill, it isn't painful to be at the bottom of the hierarchy. A rookie on a football team doesn't resent the skill of the veteran; he hopes to be like him one day and is happy to have the chance to learn from him. The veteran may in turn feel a sense of noblesse oblige. And most importantly, their status depends on how well they do against opponents, not on whether they can push the other down.
Court hierarchies are another thing entirely. This type of society debases anyone who enters it. There is neither admiration at the bottom, nor noblesse oblige at the top. It's kill or be killed.
This is to me very true. I saw this happen in my school. Difference was punished, and people used it to move up. Even I did it. I hated myself for it but I can remember in grade 10 picking on this kid that was smaller than me (just) that everyone else hated. I once went up to him in class and punched him for no reason – actually I had a reason – I was pointing out I wasn't him to the others. I like to think I did that once and woke up to myself. I'm pretty sure I did.
He later left school early then killed a girl in a crash where he had been speeding. His life was fucked up by school.
So many lives are fucked up in this distorted unreality. I love modern society. I do. I love the fact we learn and are educated. But there's a lot that resonates about the idea that schools come with the downside of a fucked up culture that causes many people intense pain even after they leave.
I still flash on high school stuff. Lately I've been having intense dreams about being at the school reunion I missed. It's weird. Why should I care so much about what some kids, that's right kids, did to me 16 years ago? I choose to give painful memories power. And I am going to try and do that no longer.
I was different. I was a nob. I was a fat git then, and a fatter lesser git now. Does it matter in the great scheme of things? Hell no.
But my heart goes out to all those kids hitting high school now. To those that invest their time and effort to play the court game, and to those that sit outside it whether by exclusion or choice.
And to those that are unhappy, just remember this. As Paul Graham says adult life is far, far better. Not only do you get to associate with who you are comfortable with and who treasure you, but when people assault you they get their arses slung into court.
So two fingers to those that gave me shit, and a heartfelt sorry to those I gave shit to.
I'm putting this crap behind me. Because I've been in adult land near 20 years now and I friggin' love it.
(On a side note, the wife used to humorously abuse me as I would head off to nerd nights with Techno and pals - screaming 'NERDS!' like Homer as loud as she could through the open kitchen window. Trust me, it was funny. It was even funnier when the gaming lads would see her at group gatherings and ask in a fake hurt voice if it was true, causing her to go pink with embarrassment. Ha! Revenge of the Nerds sweets, Revenge of the Nerds).
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
This is a political over reaction
I am a member of the ALP. Sure, I'm not an ardent member that turns up to every branch meeting and knows the words to 'Keep the Red Flag Flying'. But I am a member nonetheless.
And this is a political sop to 'nail 'em up I say' types who have little understanding of the corrections process.
Iemma is taking Milat's jaffle iron and tellie off him. See the story here.
When someone goes to jail at no point in their sentencing does the judge say 'and you are not to have access to basic resources that other prisoners have access too, such as the tellie or a jaffle iron.' Maybe if they did they could drape a TV week over their wig like the black cloth in the old days of assigning the death penalty?
This is a matter for corrections. And as the article points out giving prisoners access to resources like this makes their lives easier because it helps direct their behaviour. After-all they can take the stuff away when they have been bad.
Prison is boring. And given there are some messed up people in there, boredom is dangerous for inmates and guards both.
The sentence is not about denying them access to the tellie. It's about denying them access to civilisation while they atone for their crime and prepare to re-enter society. Cramming them in a concrete box with nothing to do is a recipe for anger, bitterness, and misbehaviour. Not just to fellow prisoners, but prison guards.
SMH quotes a guard on the decision
"By having that [reward system] in place it gives them something to work towards and gives us additional management tools.
Give the man back his damn tellie and jaffle iron. And if he tries to assemble a hack saw or eat another stapler, take them off him again.
See how it works?
And this is a political sop to 'nail 'em up I say' types who have little understanding of the corrections process.
Iemma is taking Milat's jaffle iron and tellie off him. See the story here.
When someone goes to jail at no point in their sentencing does the judge say 'and you are not to have access to basic resources that other prisoners have access too, such as the tellie or a jaffle iron.' Maybe if they did they could drape a TV week over their wig like the black cloth in the old days of assigning the death penalty?
This is a matter for corrections. And as the article points out giving prisoners access to resources like this makes their lives easier because it helps direct their behaviour. After-all they can take the stuff away when they have been bad.
Prison is boring. And given there are some messed up people in there, boredom is dangerous for inmates and guards both.
The sentence is not about denying them access to the tellie. It's about denying them access to civilisation while they atone for their crime and prepare to re-enter society. Cramming them in a concrete box with nothing to do is a recipe for anger, bitterness, and misbehaviour. Not just to fellow prisoners, but prison guards.
SMH quotes a guard on the decision
"By having that [reward system] in place it gives them something to work towards and gives us additional management tools.
"While we're totally and 100 per cent in support of the families and friends of victims, our position is that he's just another prisoner.''
"So he receives nothing special, and through his behaviour he receives access to the same things [other inmates have].''
"He's one inmate among a whole lot of inmates - there are other inmates that are worse than he is from a management point of view - and if that's what they're going to put in place for Ivan Milat, why not for all the other inmates as well?''
Damn right. Milat maybe a psycho sex killer but enlightened Oz does not have the death penalty, and nor does it chain people in a hole to serve out their time medieval style. We have standards in our corrections system. And bending them for political pressure purposes in this manner demeans the value of this system and demens those unfortunate to be caught in this system in the process.
Give the man back his damn tellie and jaffle iron. And if he tries to assemble a hack saw or eat another stapler, take them off him again.
See how it works?
The Oz Editorial on Lodhi
From today's Australian - editorial found here
Faheem Lodhi's conviction is a tribute to the jury system
FAHEEM Khalid Lodhi could have once looked like a poster boy for multiculturalism. He was a professionally educated man, apparently happy to have made Australia his home. Like tens of thousands of other Muslim migrants his success offered ample evidence of Australia's tradition of tolerance to all who come to this country keen to call it home. But in Lodhi's case, it was all a lie. Whatever he said about Australia, the chilling truth is that he was keen to kill as many of us as he could. Lodhi's conviction on Monday is a chilling confirmation of what has been obvious for years but still hard for some Australians to understand – that there are men in our midst with mass murder on their minds. And beyond giving the police and security services the resources to ensure they are caught before they kill, there is not a damn thing we can do to stop them.
There is certainly no point in assuming Lodhi was motivated by issues that Australians can, let alone should address. Rather, he is just the most recent recruit to the regiment of fanatics who believe that their own opinions and prejudices give them some sort of religiously inspired licence to kill. After the September 11 attacks on the US, we heard how these mass murders were a response by dispossesed Muslims to oppression from the West. These were always idiotic arguments; the bombers were not living in poverty, nor were any of them persecuted for their religion. And attempts to find any sense in Islamic terror attacks have become ever more absurd with each new Islamic terrorist conspiracy to kill. Murdering commuters in Madrid accomplished nothing. The London Tube bombers were to all outward appearances ordinary Englishmen with nothing to gain by killing their countrymen and women. It is almost impossible to find sense in the scheme of the young Canadian conspirators who allegedly planned to behead their Prime Minister as a way of forcing their nation's armed forces to pull out of Afghanistan. Certainly, we will not know whether any of the 20 or so of the Australian residents who have been charged with terror offences in the past six months planned to do the rest of us harm until they face courts. But Lodhi did.
His conviction vindicates the Howard Government's terror laws, which were called divisive and discriminatory when they were first proposed. But it also affirms the importance of maintaining a balance between the state's duty to protect us from terror attack with the rights of everyone in Australia. Federal Police chief Mick Keelty has made an argument for terrorism cases to be heard by a judge alone, as the British did in the generation-long campaign against terrorists in Northern Ireland. Given the high stakes involved, this will make sense to many ordinary Australians. Judges are discreet and disciplined, they understand the importance of keeping operational secrets. They are also unlikely to be swayed by an emotive case. And calls to protect the civil liberties of people charged with terror offences must be balanced against those most basic human rights – to be safe in our persons and property. True enough. But juries almost always ensure justice is done. The jury in the Lodhi trial agreed with three of the prosecution's claims but was not convinced by a fourth, that he was acquiring information on military bases as part of his preparations for a terror attack. Even so, the police and security services have ample reason to be pleased with this outcome. And it is all the more credible for the way Lodhi was judged by a jury of ordinary Australians on the evidence before them. The trial gave the lie to Islamic extremists who proclaim they are persecuted by the police and security services. Of course, the sort of people who make excuses for terrorism anywhere in the world will not amend their opinions, whatever the facts. But that is no reason to change the way terror suspects are tried, when Lodhi's conviction demonstrates Australia's system is working well.
-----------------
What I take umbrage is this line. 'His conviction vindicates the Howard Government's terror laws, which were called divisive and discriminatory when they were first proposed.'
No it doesn't, it doesn't at all. How it doesn't is the preventative detention aspects. Lodhi was not detained in a preventative manner, nor was he prevented of telling people where he was. And when he was arrested people were allowed to discuss it openly in a public forum without being arrested. All of these laws are currently in play and belong to the broad sweep of anti-terror laws Howard bought in. This case proves nothing as far as they are concerned.
The laws are divisive and they are discriminatory. Yes the conspiracy charge laws stuck, though I for one am uncomfortable with their nature. Because I for one could be at risk of circumstantial evidence had I been investigated years before. I did an explosives course once, and I once owned a copy of the anarchist's cook book - a net print out from a friend that was given to me 'cause I thought it sounded interesting - not because I wanted to blow stuff up. Being nearly killed on three occasions during my course was enough to wipe out the romance of explosives for me.
As for now I have copies of Mein Kamph and Marquis de Sade tracts on my bookshelf - which came from a modern history course a friend of mine went through - and she gave me the books because I like books and reading all manner of stuff.
I have a bunch of books on nerd related topics which includes armaments and explosives. I have books on terrorism and transnational crime because of my uni course. I have books on espionage and a series of espionage thrillers because it's a personal interest.
But the flip side is that I am a whitey of an anglo background. So my threat level is naturally less. Make me a muslim who attended a mosque where a radical once spoke and I may appear on a watch list had the above been known.
Lodhi was sprung lying on the how and why, and from my reading of the case it appears he was up to something. Nothing proven as specifically planned - however it was enough to convict him under these new laws. And now he faces life in jail not because of anything he specifically planned to do. But because he had a bunch of freaky shit in his house, was a muslim, lied his arse off about what he planned to do with whatever to various people, and because he had ties to certain figures like Willie Brigette.
I worry about these laws being misued because there is enough scope for them to be misused - especially given possesion is enough to convict, not proven specific intent. Because it's a lot easier to cast suppositions about what's in a person's house than it is about what they specifically planned to do with it. And there is too the issue of planted items. It may not be the police - hell it could be a rival to the suspect who then dobbed them in themselves. And if people don't think the cops fit people up on occasion then read about Tim Anderson's experiences with the NSW special branch.
That being said however AFP and ASIO are professional, well trained, and almost to a man or woman highly ethical. Indeed this was evidenced in the tapes of the raid of Lodhi's house where Lodhi himself agreed they had conducted it with fairness and respect, as well as identifying the items found as his. Of course this professional ethical nature may change in the future, and there is always the chance of a bad seed getting in, or the aforementioned planting of material by another involved person outside those agencies.
But at least the Oz is right. A jury got to hear the evidence and decide. And if we have to have these laws at least 12 people have to agree (unless its majority verdict) as opposed to one person. I put great store in judges because they're experienced in law and crime. But at the same time I'd rather a multiple number of people are engaged in the decision process on guilt than a lone person who may face pressures to convict on evidence that is suspect.
I still don't like these laws, and I don't think they are neccesary. But Lodhi was convicted on evidence provided by a jury on these laws so that has to be respected.
However, as I pointed out, his arrest was public and he was charged with specific crimes. Those preventative laws are yet to be tested ... as far as I know. Because of course its against the law to disclose such things in some cases.
Now how is that not a threat to civil liberties? Terrorism works when we take fear and change our lives radically to address that fear. And that radical change includes seeking out the Daddy political party to save us from the nasty terrorist. Howard's government, and to a limited extent state ALP governments, have all played up the terror threat for political purposes. And that irks me greatly. Because they give fuckwits who spread hate oxygen and make people vote not for what they hope for but for what they fear.
And how to we grow as a people if we think every unattended package is a bomb, every burka has a suicide belt, or every brown person with an Arabic name is a potential hijacker?
Faheem Lodhi's conviction is a tribute to the jury system
FAHEEM Khalid Lodhi could have once looked like a poster boy for multiculturalism. He was a professionally educated man, apparently happy to have made Australia his home. Like tens of thousands of other Muslim migrants his success offered ample evidence of Australia's tradition of tolerance to all who come to this country keen to call it home. But in Lodhi's case, it was all a lie. Whatever he said about Australia, the chilling truth is that he was keen to kill as many of us as he could. Lodhi's conviction on Monday is a chilling confirmation of what has been obvious for years but still hard for some Australians to understand – that there are men in our midst with mass murder on their minds. And beyond giving the police and security services the resources to ensure they are caught before they kill, there is not a damn thing we can do to stop them.
There is certainly no point in assuming Lodhi was motivated by issues that Australians can, let alone should address. Rather, he is just the most recent recruit to the regiment of fanatics who believe that their own opinions and prejudices give them some sort of religiously inspired licence to kill. After the September 11 attacks on the US, we heard how these mass murders were a response by dispossesed Muslims to oppression from the West. These were always idiotic arguments; the bombers were not living in poverty, nor were any of them persecuted for their religion. And attempts to find any sense in Islamic terror attacks have become ever more absurd with each new Islamic terrorist conspiracy to kill. Murdering commuters in Madrid accomplished nothing. The London Tube bombers were to all outward appearances ordinary Englishmen with nothing to gain by killing their countrymen and women. It is almost impossible to find sense in the scheme of the young Canadian conspirators who allegedly planned to behead their Prime Minister as a way of forcing their nation's armed forces to pull out of Afghanistan. Certainly, we will not know whether any of the 20 or so of the Australian residents who have been charged with terror offences in the past six months planned to do the rest of us harm until they face courts. But Lodhi did.
His conviction vindicates the Howard Government's terror laws, which were called divisive and discriminatory when they were first proposed. But it also affirms the importance of maintaining a balance between the state's duty to protect us from terror attack with the rights of everyone in Australia. Federal Police chief Mick Keelty has made an argument for terrorism cases to be heard by a judge alone, as the British did in the generation-long campaign against terrorists in Northern Ireland. Given the high stakes involved, this will make sense to many ordinary Australians. Judges are discreet and disciplined, they understand the importance of keeping operational secrets. They are also unlikely to be swayed by an emotive case. And calls to protect the civil liberties of people charged with terror offences must be balanced against those most basic human rights – to be safe in our persons and property. True enough. But juries almost always ensure justice is done. The jury in the Lodhi trial agreed with three of the prosecution's claims but was not convinced by a fourth, that he was acquiring information on military bases as part of his preparations for a terror attack. Even so, the police and security services have ample reason to be pleased with this outcome. And it is all the more credible for the way Lodhi was judged by a jury of ordinary Australians on the evidence before them. The trial gave the lie to Islamic extremists who proclaim they are persecuted by the police and security services. Of course, the sort of people who make excuses for terrorism anywhere in the world will not amend their opinions, whatever the facts. But that is no reason to change the way terror suspects are tried, when Lodhi's conviction demonstrates Australia's system is working well.
-----------------
What I take umbrage is this line. 'His conviction vindicates the Howard Government's terror laws, which were called divisive and discriminatory when they were first proposed.'
No it doesn't, it doesn't at all. How it doesn't is the preventative detention aspects. Lodhi was not detained in a preventative manner, nor was he prevented of telling people where he was. And when he was arrested people were allowed to discuss it openly in a public forum without being arrested. All of these laws are currently in play and belong to the broad sweep of anti-terror laws Howard bought in. This case proves nothing as far as they are concerned.
The laws are divisive and they are discriminatory. Yes the conspiracy charge laws stuck, though I for one am uncomfortable with their nature. Because I for one could be at risk of circumstantial evidence had I been investigated years before. I did an explosives course once, and I once owned a copy of the anarchist's cook book - a net print out from a friend that was given to me 'cause I thought it sounded interesting - not because I wanted to blow stuff up. Being nearly killed on three occasions during my course was enough to wipe out the romance of explosives for me.
As for now I have copies of Mein Kamph and Marquis de Sade tracts on my bookshelf - which came from a modern history course a friend of mine went through - and she gave me the books because I like books and reading all manner of stuff.
I have a bunch of books on nerd related topics which includes armaments and explosives. I have books on terrorism and transnational crime because of my uni course. I have books on espionage and a series of espionage thrillers because it's a personal interest.
But the flip side is that I am a whitey of an anglo background. So my threat level is naturally less. Make me a muslim who attended a mosque where a radical once spoke and I may appear on a watch list had the above been known.
Lodhi was sprung lying on the how and why, and from my reading of the case it appears he was up to something. Nothing proven as specifically planned - however it was enough to convict him under these new laws. And now he faces life in jail not because of anything he specifically planned to do. But because he had a bunch of freaky shit in his house, was a muslim, lied his arse off about what he planned to do with whatever to various people, and because he had ties to certain figures like Willie Brigette.
I worry about these laws being misued because there is enough scope for them to be misused - especially given possesion is enough to convict, not proven specific intent. Because it's a lot easier to cast suppositions about what's in a person's house than it is about what they specifically planned to do with it. And there is too the issue of planted items. It may not be the police - hell it could be a rival to the suspect who then dobbed them in themselves. And if people don't think the cops fit people up on occasion then read about Tim Anderson's experiences with the NSW special branch.
That being said however AFP and ASIO are professional, well trained, and almost to a man or woman highly ethical. Indeed this was evidenced in the tapes of the raid of Lodhi's house where Lodhi himself agreed they had conducted it with fairness and respect, as well as identifying the items found as his. Of course this professional ethical nature may change in the future, and there is always the chance of a bad seed getting in, or the aforementioned planting of material by another involved person outside those agencies.
But at least the Oz is right. A jury got to hear the evidence and decide. And if we have to have these laws at least 12 people have to agree (unless its majority verdict) as opposed to one person. I put great store in judges because they're experienced in law and crime. But at the same time I'd rather a multiple number of people are engaged in the decision process on guilt than a lone person who may face pressures to convict on evidence that is suspect.
I still don't like these laws, and I don't think they are neccesary. But Lodhi was convicted on evidence provided by a jury on these laws so that has to be respected.
However, as I pointed out, his arrest was public and he was charged with specific crimes. Those preventative laws are yet to be tested ... as far as I know. Because of course its against the law to disclose such things in some cases.
Now how is that not a threat to civil liberties? Terrorism works when we take fear and change our lives radically to address that fear. And that radical change includes seeking out the Daddy political party to save us from the nasty terrorist. Howard's government, and to a limited extent state ALP governments, have all played up the terror threat for political purposes. And that irks me greatly. Because they give fuckwits who spread hate oxygen and make people vote not for what they hope for but for what they fear.
And how to we grow as a people if we think every unattended package is a bomb, every burka has a suicide belt, or every brown person with an Arabic name is a potential hijacker?
Just the exam left now
I got my assignment back. I got 15 1/2 out of 20. Which is pretty good. And considering the amount of work I stuck into it then it was well earned.
Except Summer School next to me revealed he'd gotten 17, for the second time. And he turned up to like three tutes out of 12.
Mind you he's sick. He looks like Tom Hanks from Philadelphia. No, he doesn't have HIV/AIDs, some fatigue related illness. Hence why he missed class.
But I slogged my guts out on it, and on the talk, and still got less than no show man.
Why Summer School? Summer School was a legendary teen movie from the 80's about, yes, Summer School. Summer School as is my understanding is a US thing where if you fuck up in the school year you have to go back on the break and repeat courses. Something like that. Anyway, in the movie this dude asks for the toilet key in the first class. He leaves. He doesn't return until the day of the final exams, hands in the key, and tops the class.
It shits me.
I like Summer School. He's a dude. But man I totally nailed the question, the topic, and all associated research and still got less. And I had been grade grubbing like a MoFo with linked articles sent to the tutor outside of class.
Maybe that's it? My overt lips locked on my tutor's arse?
Plus I got in just under the max word limit each time and she hates reading long essays. Hell a fellow student, who got 16/20, got just over the limit and had just nine footnotes. Nine! That's it! I had 53.
I should have learned my lesson.
Ah fuck it you go how you go.
But let me touch on the salient lesson.
The study bud.
I had never really had study buds before this program. Sure I was stuck in group presentations - which sucked the arse - and in forced parings. But never in a mutual support network kind of way.
And it rawks. Sharing sources, proofing each other's assignments, finding kewl articles and pinging them to each other. Even having a mini brief on the topic in the library before we went in.
It made the course bearable, even fun.
So kudos to mah study buds, past and present. May our friendships continue post uni and into the distant future. I can't imagine a nicer group of people to have ever been locked in the throes of academia with.
Exam is the last thing. Then I am done. My study bud calculated she was on 49.875% going into the exam. She was mildly debating not going :). Mildly. She'll be there.
Study buds forever!
(PS If you're grappling with the tertiary monkey, get yourself a study bud today. They're clinically proven to make your study life easier and social life richer)
(PPS Update - my study bud is on 50.75%. I was off by nearly a mark.)
Except Summer School next to me revealed he'd gotten 17, for the second time. And he turned up to like three tutes out of 12.
Mind you he's sick. He looks like Tom Hanks from Philadelphia. No, he doesn't have HIV/AIDs, some fatigue related illness. Hence why he missed class.
But I slogged my guts out on it, and on the talk, and still got less than no show man.
Why Summer School? Summer School was a legendary teen movie from the 80's about, yes, Summer School. Summer School as is my understanding is a US thing where if you fuck up in the school year you have to go back on the break and repeat courses. Something like that. Anyway, in the movie this dude asks for the toilet key in the first class. He leaves. He doesn't return until the day of the final exams, hands in the key, and tops the class.
It shits me.
I like Summer School. He's a dude. But man I totally nailed the question, the topic, and all associated research and still got less. And I had been grade grubbing like a MoFo with linked articles sent to the tutor outside of class.
Maybe that's it? My overt lips locked on my tutor's arse?
Plus I got in just under the max word limit each time and she hates reading long essays. Hell a fellow student, who got 16/20, got just over the limit and had just nine footnotes. Nine! That's it! I had 53.
I should have learned my lesson.
Ah fuck it you go how you go.
But let me touch on the salient lesson.
The study bud.
I had never really had study buds before this program. Sure I was stuck in group presentations - which sucked the arse - and in forced parings. But never in a mutual support network kind of way.
And it rawks. Sharing sources, proofing each other's assignments, finding kewl articles and pinging them to each other. Even having a mini brief on the topic in the library before we went in.
It made the course bearable, even fun.
So kudos to mah study buds, past and present. May our friendships continue post uni and into the distant future. I can't imagine a nicer group of people to have ever been locked in the throes of academia with.
Exam is the last thing. Then I am done. My study bud calculated she was on 49.875% going into the exam. She was mildly debating not going :). Mildly. She'll be there.
Study buds forever!
(PS If you're grappling with the tertiary monkey, get yourself a study bud today. They're clinically proven to make your study life easier and social life richer)
(PPS Update - my study bud is on 50.75%. I was off by nearly a mark.)
Clinically Proven?
There was an ad just on for some product featuring a jogging woman. It began with an A - the product, not the woman.
She said the product, not her, was 'Clinically Proven'.
What does that mean exactly? Are there standards for that? Is there some sort of agency that authorises you to use that phrase? Can bikies who make backyard speed use that term.
'This is clinically proven mate, to rip your fucking tits off'.
I'd like to see that in an ad. A big stonking bikie that says something is clinically proven to fuck you up.
Left: Clinically proven?
Perhaps his fist?
(Scene. Bikie is standing there, in the semi dark, lit poorly lit by a flickering street light).
BIKIE (waving fist): I'm clinically proven to fuck you up if you do not buy (PRODUCT).
Obviously it would need to be a Gen Y product like an energy drink with hohova beans in it or something.
Anyway - clinically proven. The when and the where. I'd like to know.
She said the product, not her, was 'Clinically Proven'.
What does that mean exactly? Are there standards for that? Is there some sort of agency that authorises you to use that phrase? Can bikies who make backyard speed use that term.
'This is clinically proven mate, to rip your fucking tits off'.
I'd like to see that in an ad. A big stonking bikie that says something is clinically proven to fuck you up.
Left: Clinically proven?Perhaps his fist?
(Scene. Bikie is standing there, in the semi dark, lit poorly lit by a flickering street light).
BIKIE (waving fist): I'm clinically proven to fuck you up if you do not buy (PRODUCT).
Obviously it would need to be a Gen Y product like an energy drink with hohova beans in it or something.
Anyway - clinically proven. The when and the where. I'd like to know.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Miscellaneous Funkster
Some random facts about the wife. Many of you know her only as Toastus Interuptus or the beautiful brown eyed eye roller. And there's far more to her than just interfering with the consumption of cooked bread products or humorous eye realignments. Much more.
Let's see, from the top of my head.
She is very generous - she'll do things like get a load of wood or groceries for a friend a bit tight on cash, or send flowers or a hamper to a loved one that's in the mopes.
She has an infectous laugh and has asthma. Which means sometimes she laughs so hard she chokes and has to use a puffer, all the while everyone else is laughing. She has accused me of doing this deliberately on occasion. It's just that her laugh is so kewl I want to keep her laughing. Not kill her. But I do go a bit far sometimes.
She has a freckle on her nose that's very cute.
I once cut her hair and was pissed off about having to do so. I did a bad job because I was in a bad mood. She got very upset when she saw how much came off. Not quite 'shave for charity' levels but a significant amount. I learned that day that her hair, and indeed any woman's hair, is rather important to them - especially her hair because it's beautiful. I kept that hair in a box. I still have it. It's very cute. And in 50 years time I can probably clone her from it.
With my army of The Wife clones I will launch myself into the business world, because the wife does all the finances in our house. I have no head for it. Is by her and her alone that our heads are above debt. I would likely blow our money on stupid things if she wasn't there to keep a watch on it. And with my clone army, and some seed money, I could slowly become richer and richer, afford more clones, then I don't know, have a party or something.
And at that party the wife could serve her lasange. It's to be eaten to be believed - it's awesome. Hopefully one of the clones will also have the recipe.
She is passionate about pretty much everything she does. From boring chores to her job. It's pretty inspiring and occasionally annoying - only because I fall short of expectations sometimes. She has trouble seeing why you should do a half arsed job at something - which is tricky since I am a quarter arse job man most of the time.
Tonight I was headed out and she made me schnitzel burgers for the trip and wrapped them in foil. I felt like a 1930's miner sent off with a hearty meal before headed'down'hole. They were delish. Not the miners - the burgers. I'm sure the miners would have tasted fine had they also been wrapped in foil and prepared for my consumption.
She puts up with my shit.
She makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
She knows almost all the words to every Madonna song there is. And sounds like her when she sings.
She kicks arse at Singstar(tm).
I have never beaten her at Monopoly or Gin Rummy.
She lets me choose books for her to read.
If you're broken she will do her best to fix you. If you're sad she will try and cheer you up.
That's just the briefest of snapshots. She is in otherwords pretty damn kewl. And she lets me go off and game now and then even if she thinks the hobby is a tad nerdy and lame.
Let's see, from the top of my head.
She is very generous - she'll do things like get a load of wood or groceries for a friend a bit tight on cash, or send flowers or a hamper to a loved one that's in the mopes.
She has an infectous laugh and has asthma. Which means sometimes she laughs so hard she chokes and has to use a puffer, all the while everyone else is laughing. She has accused me of doing this deliberately on occasion. It's just that her laugh is so kewl I want to keep her laughing. Not kill her. But I do go a bit far sometimes.
She has a freckle on her nose that's very cute.
I once cut her hair and was pissed off about having to do so. I did a bad job because I was in a bad mood. She got very upset when she saw how much came off. Not quite 'shave for charity' levels but a significant amount. I learned that day that her hair, and indeed any woman's hair, is rather important to them - especially her hair because it's beautiful. I kept that hair in a box. I still have it. It's very cute. And in 50 years time I can probably clone her from it.
With my army of The Wife clones I will launch myself into the business world, because the wife does all the finances in our house. I have no head for it. Is by her and her alone that our heads are above debt. I would likely blow our money on stupid things if she wasn't there to keep a watch on it. And with my clone army, and some seed money, I could slowly become richer and richer, afford more clones, then I don't know, have a party or something.
And at that party the wife could serve her lasange. It's to be eaten to be believed - it's awesome. Hopefully one of the clones will also have the recipe.
She is passionate about pretty much everything she does. From boring chores to her job. It's pretty inspiring and occasionally annoying - only because I fall short of expectations sometimes. She has trouble seeing why you should do a half arsed job at something - which is tricky since I am a quarter arse job man most of the time.
Tonight I was headed out and she made me schnitzel burgers for the trip and wrapped them in foil. I felt like a 1930's miner sent off with a hearty meal before headed'down'hole. They were delish. Not the miners - the burgers. I'm sure the miners would have tasted fine had they also been wrapped in foil and prepared for my consumption.
She puts up with my shit.
She makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
She knows almost all the words to every Madonna song there is. And sounds like her when she sings.
She kicks arse at Singstar(tm).
I have never beaten her at Monopoly or Gin Rummy.
She lets me choose books for her to read.
If you're broken she will do her best to fix you. If you're sad she will try and cheer you up.
That's just the briefest of snapshots. She is in otherwords pretty damn kewl. And she lets me go off and game now and then even if she thinks the hobby is a tad nerdy and lame.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Tales of Buckwheat
As you know I have a baby with the one eyebrow in my office. My nemisis. A rival. A foe.
Left: Baby Gerald
Well, not really. She just annoys me because she's an ignorant bigot that talks shit.
Wait, is that tautology? No, some bigots are educated. Look at Windshuttle - he's got degrees and everything. That's my opinion by the way, feel free to disagree. I still think he's a bigot.
Hey HM, any idiot can get a degree or other qualifications. You got like nearly three all up and you're a moonbat according to some wingnuts out there. And we know how dangerously loony such folk are. And it's likely you have a small penis and girls laugh at you too.
Okay - good point. Moving on.
Buckwheat got her promotion without interview. I expected as much - I knew it was going to happen. And I really can't complain since I got both of my jobs on application only. Of course the difference is I wrote my applications and deserved the jobs. I'm not sure who wrote hers. I seriously doubt she did. She intimated as much when I asked her.
I was annoyed but got over it 'cause there's no use getting mad over someone getting a job that way in the public service. Otherwise your head would explode in a shower of bloody brain froth.
What has annoyed me however is my coming back to work after a day off on Friday sick with the flu to discover the workmen had been in to move work stations around.
The end result is that Buckwheat is !*$%#*$#(!@ now on the other side of my work station wall!
Arrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. She's so fucking loud and never shuts the fuck up. And her irritating drivel drives me to distraction. She doesn't get the social cues that most of us know when we're being asked to go away such as use of words like 'I'm a bit busy right now' or backing away from her like she was a rattlesnake.
Today it was "Aw I saw a movie last night, China Moon. It was a bit racy. It was about [cue incredibly long recount of plot]"
This is the same woman that complained about my heavy typing being 'loud and irritating'. Least I don't spend all day wasting valuable oxygen that beavers and other woodland creatures could use.
I'm just going to go spare. I can feel it. I can totally feel it. I'm going to have to go on corridor circuits just to let off steam at being so close. She really is a fucked in the head total and utter waste of space and energy. She does less work than I do, but hey at least I'm fucking productive and produce things. I may not be Mr Super-work but I get my work done and produce a pretty good product. All she produces is poo poos and wee wees and carbon dioxide - carbon dioxide that is exhaled in the process of ensuring loud and annoying nonsense crap is burbling out her pie hole.
Hate - Hate - Hate - Seethe - Hate
Look - I am not a great person. In fact I am a bad person. I wouldn't trust me with money, passed out people while I have access to shaving cream and bowls of warm water, vulnerable attractive women, small children, treasured heirlooms, cooked mince, your bathroom cabinet ("so a tube of that eh?"), your car (speed bumps at 80!), explosives (failed the tafe course), your books that I am interested in, and a whole host of other well liked object de yours.
But, while all that may be the case I at least don't faff on about wankery in a loud and obnoxious manner and offend everyone in earshot.
After-all, I have a blog at blogspot for that...
Left: Baby GeraldWell, not really. She just annoys me because she's an ignorant bigot that talks shit.
Wait, is that tautology? No, some bigots are educated. Look at Windshuttle - he's got degrees and everything. That's my opinion by the way, feel free to disagree. I still think he's a bigot.
Hey HM, any idiot can get a degree or other qualifications. You got like nearly three all up and you're a moonbat according to some wingnuts out there. And we know how dangerously loony such folk are. And it's likely you have a small penis and girls laugh at you too.
Okay - good point. Moving on.
Buckwheat got her promotion without interview. I expected as much - I knew it was going to happen. And I really can't complain since I got both of my jobs on application only. Of course the difference is I wrote my applications and deserved the jobs. I'm not sure who wrote hers. I seriously doubt she did. She intimated as much when I asked her.
I was annoyed but got over it 'cause there's no use getting mad over someone getting a job that way in the public service. Otherwise your head would explode in a shower of bloody brain froth.
What has annoyed me however is my coming back to work after a day off on Friday sick with the flu to discover the workmen had been in to move work stations around.
The end result is that Buckwheat is !*$%#*$#(!@ now on the other side of my work station wall!
Arrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh. She's so fucking loud and never shuts the fuck up. And her irritating drivel drives me to distraction. She doesn't get the social cues that most of us know when we're being asked to go away such as use of words like 'I'm a bit busy right now' or backing away from her like she was a rattlesnake.
Today it was "Aw I saw a movie last night, China Moon. It was a bit racy. It was about [cue incredibly long recount of plot]"
This is the same woman that complained about my heavy typing being 'loud and irritating'. Least I don't spend all day wasting valuable oxygen that beavers and other woodland creatures could use.
I'm just going to go spare. I can feel it. I can totally feel it. I'm going to have to go on corridor circuits just to let off steam at being so close. She really is a fucked in the head total and utter waste of space and energy. She does less work than I do, but hey at least I'm fucking productive and produce things. I may not be Mr Super-work but I get my work done and produce a pretty good product. All she produces is poo poos and wee wees and carbon dioxide - carbon dioxide that is exhaled in the process of ensuring loud and annoying nonsense crap is burbling out her pie hole.
Hate - Hate - Hate - Seethe - Hate
Look - I am not a great person. In fact I am a bad person. I wouldn't trust me with money, passed out people while I have access to shaving cream and bowls of warm water, vulnerable attractive women, small children, treasured heirlooms, cooked mince, your bathroom cabinet ("so a tube of that eh?"), your car (speed bumps at 80!), explosives (failed the tafe course), your books that I am interested in, and a whole host of other well liked object de yours.
But, while all that may be the case I at least don't faff on about wankery in a loud and obnoxious manner and offend everyone in earshot.
After-all, I have a blog at blogspot for that...
HM's lame attempt at an insult
We were cruising home along our narrow street when we came across a truck partially blocking the road.
It had 'Snapped on Tools' emblazoned on the side.
Naturally, I made a funny.
'Snap this MoFo,' I growled, Dick Cheney style, as we squeezed past.
The wife laughed. Not in a good 'that's funny' way. But the more 'crickets and coyotes in the background' tumbleweed kind of way.
I think it was because I didn't actually do any action for the 'this' part. Normally that's the place you give the bird, or, if an action adventure, shoot someone in the face (Dick Cheney style).
Wouldn't that be great if Cheney had said the post tense of that?
'Mr Vice President, what were your first words when you shot your friend in the face?'
'Well Katie, that's an interesting question. In fact I said - heh heh and this is pretty funny - snap that mofo.'
(cue crickets and coyotes...)
It had 'Snapped on Tools' emblazoned on the side.
Naturally, I made a funny.
'Snap this MoFo,' I growled, Dick Cheney style, as we squeezed past.
The wife laughed. Not in a good 'that's funny' way. But the more 'crickets and coyotes in the background' tumbleweed kind of way.
I think it was because I didn't actually do any action for the 'this' part. Normally that's the place you give the bird, or, if an action adventure, shoot someone in the face (Dick Cheney style).
Wouldn't that be great if Cheney had said the post tense of that?
'Mr Vice President, what were your first words when you shot your friend in the face?'
'Well Katie, that's an interesting question. In fact I said - heh heh and this is pretty funny - snap that mofo.'
(cue crickets and coyotes...)
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Where HM gets some bad news and has to share it
(rustles battered black book as he juggles with phone)
"Yeah ... hi ... yeah Cindy? ... who? ... oh ... can you get your mum, thanks ... yeah, hello Cindy? Yeah, hi it's Harrangueman ... remember from uni? ... yeah, er, not so good ... no, no in fact, this why I'm calling ... yeah, look I discovered I have this thing ... yeah ... not good ... it's likely I had it even back then and, well, the doc said I should call people I've been with ... yeah, that night, yeah I figured you'd forgotten ... well, you, you better get to a doctor ... ask them to test for Dusky Thrush."
"Yeah ... hi ... yeah Cindy? ... who? ... oh ... can you get your mum, thanks ... yeah, hello Cindy? Yeah, hi it's Harrangueman ... remember from uni? ... yeah, er, not so good ... no, no in fact, this why I'm calling ... yeah, look I discovered I have this thing ... yeah ... not good ... it's likely I had it even back then and, well, the doc said I should call people I've been with ... yeah, that night, yeah I figured you'd forgotten ... well, you, you better get to a doctor ... ask them to test for Dusky Thrush."
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Return to the Bat Cave
I'm always wary of selecting a title at the DVD rental place when it's the only copy they have. Not the only one left, but the only copy full stop.
Basically because if there's only one, chances are the shop doesn't think much of it. It's like the Highlander tag 'There can be only one' applied in the not good Las Vegas way.
Despite that, and despite the rolling of beautiful brown eyes by the wife, I got out Return to the Bat Cave (IMDB link here) starring Burt Ward and Adam West in a sort of break the fourth wall where are they now TV movie about them in the present and the series back in the past.
The actors are re-united and have to solve who stole the Batmobile from a charity auction. The clues as to who was behind it lie in their past which of course allows us to travel back in time to see how they were during the TV series beginning, middle, and end.
It was ... not suckful. It had some funny bits in it. Ward and West took the piss out of themselves and their show, and the young Ward and West were spot on in looks and mannerisms.
All up, if you liked the show as a kid like me - and being Ozzers were saw it repeated about a thousand times - I think you'd probably like this. But get it on special as part of a three movie deal or something.
To the video/DVD shop !
(cue spinning bat symbol)
Actually, no, I really have to go to the shop and take it back.
Oh bits revealed
(SPOILER)
.
.
.
.
.
.
Burt Ward was apparently a black belt in Take Me on Do and could read 30,000 words a minute. He also had to take pills to shrink his schmeckle because the Catholic League complained his teen bulge was too bulgy in his ... tight ... pants.
Basically because if there's only one, chances are the shop doesn't think much of it. It's like the Highlander tag 'There can be only one' applied in the not good Las Vegas way.
Despite that, and despite the rolling of beautiful brown eyes by the wife, I got out Return to the Bat Cave (IMDB link here) starring Burt Ward and Adam West in a sort of break the fourth wall where are they now TV movie about them in the present and the series back in the past.
The actors are re-united and have to solve who stole the Batmobile from a charity auction. The clues as to who was behind it lie in their past which of course allows us to travel back in time to see how they were during the TV series beginning, middle, and end.
It was ... not suckful. It had some funny bits in it. Ward and West took the piss out of themselves and their show, and the young Ward and West were spot on in looks and mannerisms.
All up, if you liked the show as a kid like me - and being Ozzers were saw it repeated about a thousand times - I think you'd probably like this. But get it on special as part of a three movie deal or something.
To the video/DVD shop !
(cue spinning bat symbol)
Actually, no, I really have to go to the shop and take it back.
Oh bits revealed
(SPOILER)
.
.
.
.
.
.
Burt Ward was apparently a black belt in Take Me on Do and could read 30,000 words a minute. He also had to take pills to shrink his schmeckle because the Catholic League complained his teen bulge was too bulgy in his ... tight ... pants.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Gittin' down at Gitmo
Apparently Bush has actually recognised that Gitmo has done some damage to US reputation.
That's almost up there with getting him to admit that Global Warming exists (as opposed to Climate Change).
Check out the Washington Post article here
Good to see that he can actually admit when things haven't gone the way they planned.
Also I note with interest that there's been talk of the Afghanis held there being extradited back home. Presumably to face trials. Well, I hope so at least. According to Crikey (who linked to this article) an Afghani delegation declared they believed half of them were not guilty of serious crimes and should be let go - see the article here.
Maybe Junardi will be free at last, free at last, thank God almighty free at last.
Oh Crikey also highlighted Richard Ackland's SMH column on this - worth a read if pro or anti Gitmo - see here
Here's the coda; "Far from being grave, the charges are a fudge and any half-decent court would chuck them out. Only a military commission packed to the rafters with non-lawyer military officers could be expected to swallow them."
It seems the US supreme court may see it the same way and find the commissions unlawful. Will be interesting to see...
That's almost up there with getting him to admit that Global Warming exists (as opposed to Climate Change).
Check out the Washington Post article here
Good to see that he can actually admit when things haven't gone the way they planned.
Also I note with interest that there's been talk of the Afghanis held there being extradited back home. Presumably to face trials. Well, I hope so at least. According to Crikey (who linked to this article) an Afghani delegation declared they believed half of them were not guilty of serious crimes and should be let go - see the article here.
Maybe Junardi will be free at last, free at last, thank God almighty free at last.
Oh Crikey also highlighted Richard Ackland's SMH column on this - worth a read if pro or anti Gitmo - see here
Here's the coda; "Far from being grave, the charges are a fudge and any half-decent court would chuck them out. Only a military commission packed to the rafters with non-lawyer military officers could be expected to swallow them."
It seems the US supreme court may see it the same way and find the commissions unlawful. Will be interesting to see...
Why don't the Greens and the Democrats join forces?
I was a write in member of the Dems for a few years before joining the ALP after the October election of 2004.
I liked the Dems policies and back when I joined them I considered their 'watchers' role to be important.
I moved the Labor because I realised I despised the coalition government and now was the time to pick sides.
The Greens and the Dems appeal to the same educated left of centre base. Least that's my reading of it. And in the 2004 election the Dems unfortunately preferenced against the Greens in most senate tickets - since they were largely appealing to the same small segment of the populace.
The Greens are on the ascendant. And I wish them the best of luck. So maybe the Dems, whose policies are pretty much in line with the Greens, should consider a merger. Become the Australian Democratic Greens party or something. Present a united educated leftist front instead of having to battle each other and strip votes away and allow dickwads like Fielding to get up.
Of course I an an ALP man now. But if someone had to have balance of power in the Senate I'd rather it be Greens and Dems that the Coalition any day of the week. And a merger just might help that happen if the ALP are unable to get control of the Senate (which I doubt).
I liked the Dems policies and back when I joined them I considered their 'watchers' role to be important.
I moved the Labor because I realised I despised the coalition government and now was the time to pick sides.
The Greens and the Dems appeal to the same educated left of centre base. Least that's my reading of it. And in the 2004 election the Dems unfortunately preferenced against the Greens in most senate tickets - since they were largely appealing to the same small segment of the populace.
The Greens are on the ascendant. And I wish them the best of luck. So maybe the Dems, whose policies are pretty much in line with the Greens, should consider a merger. Become the Australian Democratic Greens party or something. Present a united educated leftist front instead of having to battle each other and strip votes away and allow dickwads like Fielding to get up.
Of course I an an ALP man now. But if someone had to have balance of power in the Senate I'd rather it be Greens and Dems that the Coalition any day of the week. And a merger just might help that happen if the ALP are unable to get control of the Senate (which I doubt).
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Kudos to Gary Humphries
It was a vain effort and I am sure he likely knew it would be given Mr Holy Steve Fielding sitting in some sort of religious pose - a golden aura around his saintly head - ready to vote against it anyway because he is a bigoted fuckwit distorting the message of Christ.
The senate voted over the gay issue. Not sure why cause it had already been blocked. Maybe to try and overturn the decision? Anyway Humphries crossed the floor in the defence of the ACT to bring forth its own laws, and because according to the radio report I heard, Stanhope had declared his intention to bring those laws in before the 2004 state election. To Humphries as Stanners had won and had made this plan clear to the people before the election then Humphries felt Stanhope deserved to get it up. The senator being the first Liberal senator to cross the floor in the 10 years of the Howard government. Stanhope also having been the person that beat Humphries in the 2001 election back when Humphries was chief minister.
So kudos Senator Humphries. We may not see eye to eye all the time, but well done on this one. I appreciate it whenever politicians put the people ahead of politics.
See the article here
The senate voted over the gay issue. Not sure why cause it had already been blocked. Maybe to try and overturn the decision? Anyway Humphries crossed the floor in the defence of the ACT to bring forth its own laws, and because according to the radio report I heard, Stanhope had declared his intention to bring those laws in before the 2004 state election. To Humphries as Stanners had won and had made this plan clear to the people before the election then Humphries felt Stanhope deserved to get it up. The senator being the first Liberal senator to cross the floor in the 10 years of the Howard government. Stanhope also having been the person that beat Humphries in the 2001 election back when Humphries was chief minister.
So kudos Senator Humphries. We may not see eye to eye all the time, but well done on this one. I appreciate it whenever politicians put the people ahead of politics.
See the article here
Changes afoot at HM's work
We're going through a restructure. This is probably the fifth I've gone through. My government agency does this quite a bit.
The end result is HM gets moved into a proper branch with directors, deputy directors, and director generals etc which he has not had to endure for a while.
I was a specialist that kind of hung off to the side of a super boss. A bit like the white stuff you get in the corner of your mouth.
Geez Cyrus the Virus would love me.
Anyway, we had the big 'this is what is happening' re-org meeting whereupon I met my new boss. Who seems lovely. Really, really nice. So my fears are allayed somewhat.
Except, in true HM style the following happened.
I returned to my desk and being around 3ish checked out the Sydney Morning Herald website. I'm always interested in what other people are looking at so I checked out the top ten.
I pulled up the following article - see here
I was reading it away as you do when my new boss tapped me on the shoulder to discuss a time to discuss the move.
This is the pic that went with the article that was emblazoned on my super large screen.
Un-fucking-believable.
Way to make a first impression. It's up there with sneezing a goober on her.
Or like my recent job interview where I slammed a panelist into a wall and knocked him over.
I have a gift I swear to gawd.
Oh, I also discovered the IT lads caught up with the blog concept and have blocked HM's site from view. So no more checking comments during work time for me. Thank you IT lads. Way to remove one of the few workplace pleasures I had left.
Assholes.
The end result is HM gets moved into a proper branch with directors, deputy directors, and director generals etc which he has not had to endure for a while.
I was a specialist that kind of hung off to the side of a super boss. A bit like the white stuff you get in the corner of your mouth.
Geez Cyrus the Virus would love me.
Anyway, we had the big 'this is what is happening' re-org meeting whereupon I met my new boss. Who seems lovely. Really, really nice. So my fears are allayed somewhat.
Except, in true HM style the following happened.
I returned to my desk and being around 3ish checked out the Sydney Morning Herald website. I'm always interested in what other people are looking at so I checked out the top ten.
I pulled up the following article - see here
I was reading it away as you do when my new boss tapped me on the shoulder to discuss a time to discuss the move.
This is the pic that went with the article that was emblazoned on my super large screen.
Un-fucking-believable.Way to make a first impression. It's up there with sneezing a goober on her.
Or like my recent job interview where I slammed a panelist into a wall and knocked him over.
I have a gift I swear to gawd.
Oh, I also discovered the IT lads caught up with the blog concept and have blocked HM's site from view. So no more checking comments during work time for me. Thank you IT lads. Way to remove one of the few workplace pleasures I had left.
Assholes.
Do you ever feel like a priest when you put your shirt on back to front?
I know I do. Like Mork did in Mork and Mindy.
Womb Showers
I've blogged this before. But I had just one. I'm feeling a bit down so had to go isolate myself for five minutes.
Lights off in a hot shower is good for what ails you. Next time you're blue give it a go.
It's kewl.
And, if you like, croon the words "womb shower" over and over to the tune of The Who's 'See Me, Feel Me'.
Lights off in a hot shower is good for what ails you. Next time you're blue give it a go.
It's kewl.
And, if you like, croon the words "womb shower" over and over to the tune of The Who's 'See Me, Feel Me'.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
The wife threatened to dock my pay
I got home and she crossly accosted me RE the email. It seems I'd left our home account in the loop for some hilarious gaming related banter I was having with some lads via work email. So when she went to download when she got home they all popped in.
Now my work business is largely all email or word based. And I type fast. So why it appears I wasted work time over two hours, it really was about two minutes distilled down to the actual reading and writing time component.
She's a manager type at her work and her work is not happy about non work related emails. She said if I had been her subordinate I would have been counselled and/or dicked two hours pay. Er, that should be docked two hours - not dicked. I wonder what dicking someone's pay would involve? Printing out their pay slip, stapling it into a cylinder and sticking it over your nob whilst running past their work station?
Who knows?
My work allows 'reasonable use for personal matters'. Of course no one has successfully quantified what that actually means. It's true I send personal emails. I also send lots and lots of work emails. So it all balances out. And I don't swear in them - well I stick * in the place of key vowels which as you know makes in unoffensive.
For example c*nt is fat less offensive to sensitive eyes than cunt is.
Then, then we put on the new electric blanket and she races into say that 'IF YOU SLEEP ON SETTING NINE IT WILL KILL YOU AFTER HALF AN HOUR'.
I figured it would be a piss poor product that had a readily potential means of killing its patrons so with her I checked the book that came with it. It said just not to sleep more than half an hour on the setting. No actual mention of being killed.
Hmmm, what can all this mean? Is she out to get me? Is this toast watch taken to the next logical step?
Stay tuned...
(PS If I die in mysterious heat related circumstances, print this blog out and give it to the coroner)
(PPS Along with some toast. I think he'd be pleasantly surprised by that)
Now my work business is largely all email or word based. And I type fast. So why it appears I wasted work time over two hours, it really was about two minutes distilled down to the actual reading and writing time component.
She's a manager type at her work and her work is not happy about non work related emails. She said if I had been her subordinate I would have been counselled and/or dicked two hours pay. Er, that should be docked two hours - not dicked. I wonder what dicking someone's pay would involve? Printing out their pay slip, stapling it into a cylinder and sticking it over your nob whilst running past their work station?
Who knows?
My work allows 'reasonable use for personal matters'. Of course no one has successfully quantified what that actually means. It's true I send personal emails. I also send lots and lots of work emails. So it all balances out. And I don't swear in them - well I stick * in the place of key vowels which as you know makes in unoffensive.
For example c*nt is fat less offensive to sensitive eyes than cunt is.
Then, then we put on the new electric blanket and she races into say that 'IF YOU SLEEP ON SETTING NINE IT WILL KILL YOU AFTER HALF AN HOUR'.
I figured it would be a piss poor product that had a readily potential means of killing its patrons so with her I checked the book that came with it. It said just not to sleep more than half an hour on the setting. No actual mention of being killed.
Hmmm, what can all this mean? Is she out to get me? Is this toast watch taken to the next logical step?
Stay tuned...
(PS If I die in mysterious heat related circumstances, print this blog out and give it to the coroner)
(PPS Along with some toast. I think he'd be pleasantly surprised by that)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The lighter side of Al-Zarqawi
Look violent death is a tragedy. But there is a certain delish irony when it gets visted on those people that inflict it on others.
Like Al-Zarqawi. I wish the US could have taken him alive. Indeed, they likely could have done given he was 'in an isolated farmhouse' and UAVs could have tracked him if he'd decided to scamper. That and the fact that the troops got there pretty quick once the fuck was bombed out of it.
But well given the scamp he was and since he'd managed to evade the net so many times before they weren't taking any chances. Of course they didn't know who else exactly was in there - for example children (which was initially reported) - and had this been in the US law enforcement certainly would not have dropped a bomb on him for fear that there could be innocents there - oh and because it would be extra-judicial murder. But they, this is Iraq and there's a war going on.
A war the US started but a war nonetheless. Legal niceities like surrounding someone and arresting them tend to get put aside in situations like these. Besides, it's likely he would have killed himself anyway even if he'd gotten a 'you're surrounded give yourself up' yelled through a megaphone at his safe house.
The debate of that aside, there was one funny thing to come out of all of this. The Daily Show took the piss as usual crossing to their 'Iraq bound' commentator Samantha Bee.
Her opinion?
'No only was Zarqawi killed but so were seven of his cronies. Making it a good day to be the US military, but a bad day to be a virgin wrangler in muslim heaven. Eight martyrs, 72 virgins a piece. That's nearly 600 virgins needed stat.'
See The Daily Show site here. Select the video marked Night, Martyr.
Like Al-Zarqawi. I wish the US could have taken him alive. Indeed, they likely could have done given he was 'in an isolated farmhouse' and UAVs could have tracked him if he'd decided to scamper. That and the fact that the troops got there pretty quick once the fuck was bombed out of it.
But well given the scamp he was and since he'd managed to evade the net so many times before they weren't taking any chances. Of course they didn't know who else exactly was in there - for example children (which was initially reported) - and had this been in the US law enforcement certainly would not have dropped a bomb on him for fear that there could be innocents there - oh and because it would be extra-judicial murder. But they, this is Iraq and there's a war going on.
A war the US started but a war nonetheless. Legal niceities like surrounding someone and arresting them tend to get put aside in situations like these. Besides, it's likely he would have killed himself anyway even if he'd gotten a 'you're surrounded give yourself up' yelled through a megaphone at his safe house.
The debate of that aside, there was one funny thing to come out of all of this. The Daily Show took the piss as usual crossing to their 'Iraq bound' commentator Samantha Bee.
Her opinion?
'No only was Zarqawi killed but so were seven of his cronies. Making it a good day to be the US military, but a bad day to be a virgin wrangler in muslim heaven. Eight martyrs, 72 virgins a piece. That's nearly 600 virgins needed stat.'
See The Daily Show site here. Select the video marked Night, Martyr.
Do fanatic football fans get the shits when fairweather types turn up?
World Cup fever is off and running. You can see the shine in eyes or, at my work, the blood shot eyes of those who stayed up to watch.
I'm not a fan. It's kewl and everything - and good on you if you like it.
But if you're a true fan are you sick of people that didn't give a shit before Uruguay lost suddenly coming on board the Socceroo's express?
People you know who couldn't name a single member, let alone the Captain a few months ago now discussing the minutia of who went on when?
It gives me the shits.
Sure I will be proud by association if we go well. But I tell you this. I ain't staying up for it.
I am not fairweather. I remain uninterested and will be until this ends. As I am uninterested in all sports. Chalk that up to enforced sportage at the hands of fucking [bad word] at the private school I was forced to attend at hideous expense. Bullying evil minded pricks.
I do like though the spirit that global sport provides. It makes a nice change meeting someone in face to face in competition as opposed to dropping a bomb on their population cente.
Oh - Mr Fucking Vodaphone Tracksuit was just on smearing his pheromones over the Australian football team. What a fucking surprise. Do you think he puts it on when he watches all sports? I bet he does.
I'm not a fan. It's kewl and everything - and good on you if you like it.
But if you're a true fan are you sick of people that didn't give a shit before Uruguay lost suddenly coming on board the Socceroo's express?
People you know who couldn't name a single member, let alone the Captain a few months ago now discussing the minutia of who went on when?
It gives me the shits.
Sure I will be proud by association if we go well. But I tell you this. I ain't staying up for it.
I am not fairweather. I remain uninterested and will be until this ends. As I am uninterested in all sports. Chalk that up to enforced sportage at the hands of fucking [bad word] at the private school I was forced to attend at hideous expense. Bullying evil minded pricks.
I do like though the spirit that global sport provides. It makes a nice change meeting someone in face to face in competition as opposed to dropping a bomb on their population cente.
Oh - Mr Fucking Vodaphone Tracksuit was just on smearing his pheromones over the Australian football team. What a fucking surprise. Do you think he puts it on when he watches all sports? I bet he does.
Oh sweet Ruddock how I long to embrace you to my man bosom
Well he got his way. The man once lauded for his membership of Amnesty international met with the GG today to overturn the ACT's gay unions legislation.
See the article here
Ruddock claims defence of the Man + Woman = Only ones in Law act passed some years ago, despite the fact the ACT amended its legislation to reflect his concerns.
I can only see this as pandering to the right wing of their right wing. The sort of people who discover their children are gay and try and send them to brain washing camps 'to cure them' of being camp.
Why else? What possible reason is there to deny the right of legal unions just because you and your partner are both swinging dicks?
Ruddock could have let this be tested in court. He did not. He could have let it go to a party vote. He didn't. He chose to exercise his power not to defend the rights of others which a good AG should do but deny rights instead.
So in my opinion he's a man who trucks with bigots and therefore, like Howard, is a bigot by association.
See the article here
Ruddock claims defence of the Man + Woman = Only ones in Law act passed some years ago, despite the fact the ACT amended its legislation to reflect his concerns.
I can only see this as pandering to the right wing of their right wing. The sort of people who discover their children are gay and try and send them to brain washing camps 'to cure them' of being camp.
Why else? What possible reason is there to deny the right of legal unions just because you and your partner are both swinging dicks?
Ruddock could have let this be tested in court. He did not. He could have let it go to a party vote. He didn't. He chose to exercise his power not to defend the rights of others which a good AG should do but deny rights instead.
So in my opinion he's a man who trucks with bigots and therefore, like Howard, is a bigot by association.
Finally prisoners get a break
Our prison systems suck ass. They suck ass because they do not very much at all to actually inspire inmates to go straight. ie rehabilitate instead of re-offend.
There's a reason why 60% of inmates had previous prison time. They get thrown back into society with fuck all support, have to deal with the fact they have a criminal record, have been exposed to violent disturbed other prisoners, possibly have a worsened drug addiction, and little means to address the reasons why they went to prison in the first place. That and something like 70% of prisoners have a mental illness that went untreated and partially impacted on their ability to stay the straight and narrow.
But kudos to the federal government. After ten years they actually worked out that if you help prisoners to get a job, or put them through programs, you reduce their re-offending rate.
Yes, I know, bit slow on the uptake.
It's a small program, and not nearly enough, but it's a start. Let's just hope it's not one of those programs that dies because the funding ran out and the pollies didn't want to be seen to be weak on crime when they tried to help the weakest link in societies' chain.
See the story here.
By the way in my opinion State governments are worse on Laura Norder - save when it comes to 'DANGER DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE WHEN WE TOUCH WHEN WE KISS' potential terrorists amongst us who are dangerously not banged up without charge.
And yes it sickens me that State ALP parties play this game with all the passion of their opposing numbers.
As mentioned before likely because 'LOCK 'EM UP' resonates far more easily with fearful families than 'ADDRESS ROOT CAUSES OF CRIME WITH LONG RANGING PROGRAMS FOCUSSED ON MENTAL ILLNESS, EMPLOYMENT, and SOCIO-ECONOMIC BACKGROUND.'
There's a reason why 60% of inmates had previous prison time. They get thrown back into society with fuck all support, have to deal with the fact they have a criminal record, have been exposed to violent disturbed other prisoners, possibly have a worsened drug addiction, and little means to address the reasons why they went to prison in the first place. That and something like 70% of prisoners have a mental illness that went untreated and partially impacted on their ability to stay the straight and narrow.
But kudos to the federal government. After ten years they actually worked out that if you help prisoners to get a job, or put them through programs, you reduce their re-offending rate.
Yes, I know, bit slow on the uptake.
It's a small program, and not nearly enough, but it's a start. Let's just hope it's not one of those programs that dies because the funding ran out and the pollies didn't want to be seen to be weak on crime when they tried to help the weakest link in societies' chain.
See the story here.
By the way in my opinion State governments are worse on Laura Norder - save when it comes to 'DANGER DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE WHEN WE TOUCH WHEN WE KISS' potential terrorists amongst us who are dangerously not banged up without charge.
And yes it sickens me that State ALP parties play this game with all the passion of their opposing numbers.
As mentioned before likely because 'LOCK 'EM UP' resonates far more easily with fearful families than 'ADDRESS ROOT CAUSES OF CRIME WITH LONG RANGING PROGRAMS FOCUSSED ON MENTAL ILLNESS, EMPLOYMENT, and SOCIO-ECONOMIC BACKGROUND.'
Monday, June 12, 2006
Celebrities Eat - shock NW Special
Celebrities have been seen eating foot and doing normal things like people do according to New Weekly, prized Ozzie mag journal that makes sure celebrities are punished for their fame with grainy photos of them up to no good or in out in public.
'Can you fucking believe that Kirstie Alley went to a fast food place like 82% of westerners do at least once a week!?!' shrieked the outraged magazine. 'What a fatty!'
Care was made to point out her dirty clothing and the fact she had a double chin, like hundreds of millions of other westerners.
'How dare she eat fast food and not be dripping in diamonds,' declared the magazine, who were busy making up almost 100% of their copy by using an excel spreadsheet random function to link famous people with their vices. 'This lardo needs to pay.'
New Weekly writers and other staff rejected however any considerations that they should post photos of themselves shopping, eating, putting out the bins or any other normal human activity on the grounds of privacy.
'We are not public figures,' huffed Amy of the NW-ettes. 'Therefore we're free to make any old shit up about famous people and not subject ourselves to the same treatment.'
Harrangueman said wouldn't it be great if celebrities hired detectives to investigate the lives of and take photos of tabloid staff then post it on a website for the entire world to read as payback for all the dribble poo that froths out of the bile laced presses of yellow screamsheet lie factories.
'Seriously, the celebs pony up some thousands of bucks to a conglomorate and nominate those magazines that have stuck it to them time and time again to the point that marriages they were always declaring in trouble became in trouble, not to mention other private things like miscarriages or fights or drinking a fucking milkshake for some own back treatment.'
A good start would be the crew of New Weekly, in all their rich celulite, listing information from 'close pals' who knew which staffer had sex with another staffer's boyf, who got what veneral disease when they were in college, in addition to raiding their garbage and having photos of them porking on fast food like the rest of us.
'Let's just see how Amy's marriage to Jimmy and their parenting of Max suffers when their spats and other personal stuff gets splashed across the web - like for example if young Max has a tanty in the supermarket and a mpeg of Amy losing it in the chocolate aisle becomes available for a podcast download.'
'Can you fucking believe that Kirstie Alley went to a fast food place like 82% of westerners do at least once a week!?!' shrieked the outraged magazine. 'What a fatty!'
Care was made to point out her dirty clothing and the fact she had a double chin, like hundreds of millions of other westerners.
'How dare she eat fast food and not be dripping in diamonds,' declared the magazine, who were busy making up almost 100% of their copy by using an excel spreadsheet random function to link famous people with their vices. 'This lardo needs to pay.'
New Weekly writers and other staff rejected however any considerations that they should post photos of themselves shopping, eating, putting out the bins or any other normal human activity on the grounds of privacy.
'We are not public figures,' huffed Amy of the NW-ettes. 'Therefore we're free to make any old shit up about famous people and not subject ourselves to the same treatment.'
Harrangueman said wouldn't it be great if celebrities hired detectives to investigate the lives of and take photos of tabloid staff then post it on a website for the entire world to read as payback for all the dribble poo that froths out of the bile laced presses of yellow screamsheet lie factories.
'Seriously, the celebs pony up some thousands of bucks to a conglomorate and nominate those magazines that have stuck it to them time and time again to the point that marriages they were always declaring in trouble became in trouble, not to mention other private things like miscarriages or fights or drinking a fucking milkshake for some own back treatment.'
A good start would be the crew of New Weekly, in all their rich celulite, listing information from 'close pals' who knew which staffer had sex with another staffer's boyf, who got what veneral disease when they were in college, in addition to raiding their garbage and having photos of them porking on fast food like the rest of us.
'Let's just see how Amy's marriage to Jimmy and their parenting of Max suffers when their spats and other personal stuff gets splashed across the web - like for example if young Max has a tanty in the supermarket and a mpeg of Amy losing it in the chocolate aisle becomes available for a podcast download.'
The Chamber of Commerce is apparently not partisan when it comes to AWAs
I am a news slut. I love the news. If I am at home on a weekday I will watched each morning show one after the other. Then I will watch it again at night.
Peter Hendy of the Chamber of Commerce was on today, interviewed by no less than three stations, for his views on Beazley's proposal to ditch AWAs if he gets in.
Hendy is about as partisan in this debate as Greg Combet. But did we get that in the news reports? No. If they'd talked to Greg Combet there would have been a big fat UNION under his name. Or even UNION BOSS in the voice over. But not Hendy with a right wing equivalent of CORPORATE SHILL or BUSINESS TEAT LICKER.
Hendy's Chamber of Commerce paid for ads backing the Work Choices campaign when it was foisted on us last year.
That wasn't mentioned at all. He was in fact presented as a 'neutral observor' in the issue as best as I can tell.
Nice one Hendy. I can't wait for your next utterly biased report that is the political equivalent of a reach around for the Howard government.
Twat.
Peter Hendy of the Chamber of Commerce was on today, interviewed by no less than three stations, for his views on Beazley's proposal to ditch AWAs if he gets in.
Hendy is about as partisan in this debate as Greg Combet. But did we get that in the news reports? No. If they'd talked to Greg Combet there would have been a big fat UNION under his name. Or even UNION BOSS in the voice over. But not Hendy with a right wing equivalent of CORPORATE SHILL or BUSINESS TEAT LICKER.
Hendy's Chamber of Commerce paid for ads backing the Work Choices campaign when it was foisted on us last year.
That wasn't mentioned at all. He was in fact presented as a 'neutral observor' in the issue as best as I can tell.
Nice one Hendy. I can't wait for your next utterly biased report that is the political equivalent of a reach around for the Howard government.
Twat.
Even more Gitmo goodness - its the gift that keeps on giving
Well, not really.
In the press today was a story that three inmates had finally succeeded in taking their lives. According to the report there have been a total of 41 attempts by 25 different inmates.
This time, and I use this term with the irony it deserves, Mission Accomplished.
See the article here
My favourite bit comes from the CO. Relevant snippet as follows;
It kind of reminds me a bit of the Suicide Squad from Life of Brian
Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
That's some nice work Bush Administration. The people I feel sorry for most of all are not the inmates but all the military personnel that have had their ideologies and careers warped by having to deal with all this shit. They deserve better by their Commander in Chief and his many gibbering right of right companions like Rumsfeld, Rove, Gonzales, and Cheney.
In the press today was a story that three inmates had finally succeeded in taking their lives. According to the report there have been a total of 41 attempts by 25 different inmates.
This time, and I use this term with the irony it deserves, Mission Accomplished.
See the article here
My favourite bit comes from the CO. Relevant snippet as follows;
Rear Admiral Harry Harris, the camp's commander, described the suicides as an act of "warfare''.
"These are dangerous men and they will do anything they can to do gain support for their cause and the advance of their cause,'' Harris said.
It kind of reminds me a bit of the Suicide Squad from Life of Brian
Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?
That's some nice work Bush Administration. The people I feel sorry for most of all are not the inmates but all the military personnel that have had their ideologies and careers warped by having to deal with all this shit. They deserve better by their Commander in Chief and his many gibbering right of right companions like Rumsfeld, Rove, Gonzales, and Cheney.
I have the same Myer's Briggs profile as Avon
It's true. The same. Myers Briggs is a personality testing system that I was unfortunately exposed to back in the late 90s when my then division was going through a "phase". The "phase" being the director who had a mate (an alleged mate) than ran these things with fancy 'Channel 9 Worm' style remotes and questionaires - the whole thing costing my Department around 200k. 200k for managing about 90 staff.
I know, I can't believe it either. What a friggin' waste of money. It changed nothing - except the Director leaving a few months later.
Anyway, Avon. I was trawling Wiki as you do and came across Avon the character from Blake's 7, a wobbly set sci fi show from the BBC dated around the late 70's and early 80's. As a kid it was friggin' great. Loved it. And I loved Avon, the second in command - and later first in command when the actor who played Blake chucked a fit of pique and stomped off the show.
It's INTJ.
I should however point out it's also the same profile as Winnie the Pooh.
See here for a free onling Myers Briggs test and let us know how you went - go see link.
I know, I can't believe it either. What a friggin' waste of money. It changed nothing - except the Director leaving a few months later.
Anyway, Avon. I was trawling Wiki as you do and came across Avon the character from Blake's 7, a wobbly set sci fi show from the BBC dated around the late 70's and early 80's. As a kid it was friggin' great. Loved it. And I loved Avon, the second in command - and later first in command when the actor who played Blake chucked a fit of pique and stomped off the show.
It's INTJ.
I should however point out it's also the same profile as Winnie the Pooh.
See here for a free onling Myers Briggs test and let us know how you went - go see link.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Fairy wings are for kids and pretty people only
It's true.
Fairy wings on a hairy fatty such as me really don't look that good. Even I recognise that.
Fairy wings on kids are okay, and on pretty slim grown up Bratz types then even erotic. In fact the latter can get away with it as normal clubbing wear which I'm led to understand they do.
Me on the other hand in line up for the night club with a foam dome and fairy wings - not going to be let in.
Left: So not getting into a night club
Mind you I've never been not let into a night club because largely I have never really tried to get into a kewl night club. Yes I went to night clubs on the odd occassion but in truth night clubs in my home town consisted of the dead space above a pub and a lame arsed converted ballroom above a bar. I think once they stuck a mannequin in the centre of the dance floor and named the club after it. They may have even dressed the mannequin in fairy wings and lingerie (or "lingeree"). They let anyone in - even hairy fat people like me. And back then I had long hair.
Of course I had my hair pulled by drunk fuckwits trying to start fights. That happened a couple of times. And I once had some guy strangle me after he'd looked at me intently for about five minutes and me thinking he knew me waved hello.
Night clubs. So not fun for me. Largely not fun because while the early 20's was all about meeting someone you were sexually compatible with and scoring with them it was not alas for me. It never happened. Not once - ever.
I think the foam dome let me down.
I remember wasted hours being half drunk with my elbows sitting in spilled ash coated beer shivering in the winter hours of early morn on the balcony of the pub night club trying to hold a conversation with disinterested types over the screaming doosh doosh coming from the micro dance floor. Or even being on said dance floor jiggling my jiggles in my dodgy lead foot two step as an associate member (no visitation privileges) of some extended social group that consisted of attractive people in their early 20's who would get to have sex with each other but not me.
In other words a complete total waste of time.
Would fairy wings have made it better for me? Probably worse given I got my pony tail yanked. That and the early 90's was when my early 20's happened the word metrosexual was used only when fuckwits got confused and tried to call you a poof but mangled the preface before the sexual bit. So I couldn't pretend I was some sort of androgynous esq man god descended to have fun with mortals like a metrosexual man could do if he happened to go the FW in a nightclub (and obviously has to be attractive enough to carry the god look off).
I'm not bitter or anything. Well, a bit bitter. I really only have me to blame for being a heavy dude. And back then I was still firmly in 'annoying tool' mode, so that obviously didn't help.
All these obvious issues I have with my self worth and my weight aside, to sum up as follows - Fairy wings. Alright for some - clearly not others.
Just as an aside, and completely off topic, whilst trawling for bedding in K-Mart I noticed that Bratz had hooked their slutty tendrils into bedsheets and bedside lamps.
So now not only can your tween daughter launch herself on the pre-teen sexual world between the sheets, she can also read her Girlfriend, Dolly, New Weekly, and other mind poison by the light of a micro mini'ed Bratz lamp.
Tasteful.
Fairy wings on a hairy fatty such as me really don't look that good. Even I recognise that.
Fairy wings on kids are okay, and on pretty slim grown up Bratz types then even erotic. In fact the latter can get away with it as normal clubbing wear which I'm led to understand they do.
Me on the other hand in line up for the night club with a foam dome and fairy wings - not going to be let in.
Left: So not getting into a night clubMind you I've never been not let into a night club because largely I have never really tried to get into a kewl night club. Yes I went to night clubs on the odd occassion but in truth night clubs in my home town consisted of the dead space above a pub and a lame arsed converted ballroom above a bar. I think once they stuck a mannequin in the centre of the dance floor and named the club after it. They may have even dressed the mannequin in fairy wings and lingerie (or "lingeree"). They let anyone in - even hairy fat people like me. And back then I had long hair.
Of course I had my hair pulled by drunk fuckwits trying to start fights. That happened a couple of times. And I once had some guy strangle me after he'd looked at me intently for about five minutes and me thinking he knew me waved hello.
Night clubs. So not fun for me. Largely not fun because while the early 20's was all about meeting someone you were sexually compatible with and scoring with them it was not alas for me. It never happened. Not once - ever.
I think the foam dome let me down.
I remember wasted hours being half drunk with my elbows sitting in spilled ash coated beer shivering in the winter hours of early morn on the balcony of the pub night club trying to hold a conversation with disinterested types over the screaming doosh doosh coming from the micro dance floor. Or even being on said dance floor jiggling my jiggles in my dodgy lead foot two step as an associate member (no visitation privileges) of some extended social group that consisted of attractive people in their early 20's who would get to have sex with each other but not me.
In other words a complete total waste of time.
Would fairy wings have made it better for me? Probably worse given I got my pony tail yanked. That and the early 90's was when my early 20's happened the word metrosexual was used only when fuckwits got confused and tried to call you a poof but mangled the preface before the sexual bit. So I couldn't pretend I was some sort of androgynous esq man god descended to have fun with mortals like a metrosexual man could do if he happened to go the FW in a nightclub (and obviously has to be attractive enough to carry the god look off).
I'm not bitter or anything. Well, a bit bitter. I really only have me to blame for being a heavy dude. And back then I was still firmly in 'annoying tool' mode, so that obviously didn't help.
All these obvious issues I have with my self worth and my weight aside, to sum up as follows - Fairy wings. Alright for some - clearly not others.
Just as an aside, and completely off topic, whilst trawling for bedding in K-Mart I noticed that Bratz had hooked their slutty tendrils into bedsheets and bedside lamps.
So now not only can your tween daughter launch herself on the pre-teen sexual world between the sheets, she can also read her Girlfriend, Dolly, New Weekly, and other mind poison by the light of a micro mini'ed Bratz lamp.
Tasteful.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Where HM returns to the Canberra Centre
Friday, my mission postage and purchasing some blank DVDs. Parking is easy, this is good, I am on Brown Three level. Brown – a choice for the colour of the level seems odd. They could have gone with something a bit more brighter, but no, brown. Why not beige or grey? Equally memorable. But I guess if I can picture three Clevland Steamers then I can remember this easily.
Go downstairs to the mall bit and go to the post office. Arrange to send a friend a parcel by registered post because Oz Post lost the last parcel. She works in a big company so I am sending it to her work station. I decide to pay the five bucks extra so it's signed for by her. Then they tell me she'd have to physically front the post office where the company has their PO box to sign for it. I disincline. They take the sticker off. Finally done I head off.
The Big Issue lads are out spruiking under the overhead bit of the centre on the street. I get some cash out and spring for the issue. I like the Big Issue. It's a good system of helping these dudes out. For a second, just a second, I find it odd that homeless people are eating Michel's pastries and drinking Michel's coffees. But then why the fuck not? They earned the money. Who am I to deem they should spend it on staples of life only? I bet there's a million French people that consider dainty Danishes a staple of life – that is when they are not rioting and setting fire to cars.
I head to Target to get the DVDs. On the way I pass Sir Ian McKellan - famed as Magneto and Gandalf - dressed in a lurid pink tracksuit riding a disabled person trolley. It was quite the surprise. Her/his husband followed along dutifully.
Target security man had a massive overbite and drooled on his name badge when he directed me to the relevant section.
I purchase the blanks and then see their toy section has a sale on plushies – the big plushies the size of a 10 year old. They're in a big red bin with SALE SALE SALE written all over it. I look for a penguin from Madagascar because they crack me up. Go you penguins. Then I get this disturbing vibe that I am fishing around in a mass grave for toon people. Images of corpses being bulldozed into pits fill me brain. Nervous, I back off and head out. Overbite has made some woman who foolishly took in her roly suitcase open it and fish around in her smalls to prove ownership. He drools but nods with approval. I leave.
Canberra Centre food court. Despite going the Red Rooster and Icecream the previous night I decide to push my IBS envelope to the limit and see if I was going to cramp up after some fake KFC from Kingsleys. For those non to the ACT Kingsleys is a cheap KFC knock off where bizarre overly obsequious staff serve you at a frenetic pace knock off KFC chicken goods. However unlike KFC Kingsleys has embraced crinkle cut chips. That's right – crinkle cut goodness. And are their chips good HM? They sure as hell are. And so is their gravy – though I did not go that.
Out I go. Fancy goatee man is offering free squirts of moisture. He does not squirt me. He waits for the gaggle of post teen hot chicks behind me. I feel a little miffed.
Finally back to the poo three level and obtain my car for the drive out. Make it back to work inside an hour and a half and being the Friday before a public holiday and being a public servant I have my choice of some quality close by parks. The sort of parks that normally go at 7.20 am.
All in all a trip worth making. Except of course the fake KFC whipped me like a bitch and landed about 3 pm. So I left for home and after some respite zoomed off to Techno's for some quality gaming fun.
Unfortunately I got a call as I was hunting down fantails to take with me. Someone I know has had a lump scare and had gone to Sydney to find the results. She got the bad news. Cancer, it's advanced, and she has surgery next week.
She has a six and a four year old. They've gone back home now to see the kids before she returns to Sydney for surgery then chemo. She's going to be sick as a dog for a long while and may lose her breast or breasts.
It's lucky she found it as early as she did and I'm hoping it all goes as well as it can go in situations like this.
Crossing fingers.
Tell you what though, it makes you think long and hard about impending mortality. I used to be scared of death until I realised that statistically assuming I'm far older when I am near death, I will likely be older and willing to embrace it. It made me feel a lot better knowing that.
But she, like so many who do get it, has not lived out her life and has a young family.
So fingers crossed even tighter.
Go downstairs to the mall bit and go to the post office. Arrange to send a friend a parcel by registered post because Oz Post lost the last parcel. She works in a big company so I am sending it to her work station. I decide to pay the five bucks extra so it's signed for by her. Then they tell me she'd have to physically front the post office where the company has their PO box to sign for it. I disincline. They take the sticker off. Finally done I head off.
The Big Issue lads are out spruiking under the overhead bit of the centre on the street. I get some cash out and spring for the issue. I like the Big Issue. It's a good system of helping these dudes out. For a second, just a second, I find it odd that homeless people are eating Michel's pastries and drinking Michel's coffees. But then why the fuck not? They earned the money. Who am I to deem they should spend it on staples of life only? I bet there's a million French people that consider dainty Danishes a staple of life – that is when they are not rioting and setting fire to cars.
I head to Target to get the DVDs. On the way I pass Sir Ian McKellan - famed as Magneto and Gandalf - dressed in a lurid pink tracksuit riding a disabled person trolley. It was quite the surprise. Her/his husband followed along dutifully.
Target security man had a massive overbite and drooled on his name badge when he directed me to the relevant section.
I purchase the blanks and then see their toy section has a sale on plushies – the big plushies the size of a 10 year old. They're in a big red bin with SALE SALE SALE written all over it. I look for a penguin from Madagascar because they crack me up. Go you penguins. Then I get this disturbing vibe that I am fishing around in a mass grave for toon people. Images of corpses being bulldozed into pits fill me brain. Nervous, I back off and head out. Overbite has made some woman who foolishly took in her roly suitcase open it and fish around in her smalls to prove ownership. He drools but nods with approval. I leave.
Canberra Centre food court. Despite going the Red Rooster and Icecream the previous night I decide to push my IBS envelope to the limit and see if I was going to cramp up after some fake KFC from Kingsleys. For those non to the ACT Kingsleys is a cheap KFC knock off where bizarre overly obsequious staff serve you at a frenetic pace knock off KFC chicken goods. However unlike KFC Kingsleys has embraced crinkle cut chips. That's right – crinkle cut goodness. And are their chips good HM? They sure as hell are. And so is their gravy – though I did not go that.
Out I go. Fancy goatee man is offering free squirts of moisture. He does not squirt me. He waits for the gaggle of post teen hot chicks behind me. I feel a little miffed.
Finally back to the poo three level and obtain my car for the drive out. Make it back to work inside an hour and a half and being the Friday before a public holiday and being a public servant I have my choice of some quality close by parks. The sort of parks that normally go at 7.20 am.
All in all a trip worth making. Except of course the fake KFC whipped me like a bitch and landed about 3 pm. So I left for home and after some respite zoomed off to Techno's for some quality gaming fun.
Unfortunately I got a call as I was hunting down fantails to take with me. Someone I know has had a lump scare and had gone to Sydney to find the results. She got the bad news. Cancer, it's advanced, and she has surgery next week.
She has a six and a four year old. They've gone back home now to see the kids before she returns to Sydney for surgery then chemo. She's going to be sick as a dog for a long while and may lose her breast or breasts.
It's lucky she found it as early as she did and I'm hoping it all goes as well as it can go in situations like this.
Crossing fingers.
Tell you what though, it makes you think long and hard about impending mortality. I used to be scared of death until I realised that statistically assuming I'm far older when I am near death, I will likely be older and willing to embrace it. It made me feel a lot better knowing that.
But she, like so many who do get it, has not lived out her life and has a young family.
So fingers crossed even tighter.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
More Colbert Goodness
Link provided via your new reality at blogspot
Colbert gives Commencement Address at Knox College on 3 June 2006. See link to speech here
Bugger it, here's the full thing. If I get in trouble I will cease and desist.
[Pours water into a glass at the podium, splashes face and back of neck]
Colbert gives Commencement Address at Knox College on 3 June 2006. See link to speech here
Bugger it, here's the full thing. If I get in trouble I will cease and desist.
[Pours water into a glass at the podium, splashes face and back of neck]
Thank you. Thank you very much. First of all, I’m facing a little bit of a conundrum here. My name is Stephen Colbert, but I actually play someone on television named Stephen Colbert, who looks like me, and who talks like me, but who says things with a straight face he doesn’t mean. And I’m not sure which one of us you invited to speak here today. So, with your indulgence, I’m just going to talk and I’m going to let you figure it out.
I wanted to say something about the Umberto Eco quote that was used earlier from The Name of the Rose. That book fascinated me because in it these people are killed for trying to get out of this library a book about comedy, Aristotle’s Commentary on Comedy. And what’s interesting to me is one of the arguments they have in the book is that comedy is bad because nowhere in the New Testament does it say that Jesus laughed. It says Jesus wept, but never did he laugh.
But, I don’t think you actually have to say it for us to imagine Jesus laughing. In the famous episode where there’s a storm on the lake, and the fishermen are out there. And they see Jesus on the shore, and Jesus walks across the stormy waters to the boat. And St. Peter thinks, “I can do this. I can do this. He keeps telling us to have faith and we can do anything. I can do this.” So he steps out of the boat and he walks for—I don’t know, it doesn’t say—a few feet, without sinking into the waves. But then he looks down, and he sees how stormy the seas are. He loses his faith and he begins to sink. And Jesus hot-foots it over and pulls him from the waves and says, “Oh you of little faith.” I can’t imagine Jesus wasn’t suppressing a laugh. How hilarious must it have been to watch Peter—like Wile E. Coyote—take three steps on the water and then sink into the waves.
Well it’s an honor to be giving your Commencement address here today at Knox College. I want to thank Mr. Podesta for asking me two, two and a half years ago, was it? Something like that? We were in Aspen. You know—being people who go to Aspen. He asked me if I would give a speech at Knox College, and I think it was the altitude, but I said yes. I’m very glad that I did.
On a beautiful day like this I’m reminded of my own graduation 20 years ago, at Northwestern University. I didn’t start there, I finished there. On the graduation day, a beautiful day like this. We’re all in our gowns. I go up on the podium to get my leather folder with my diploma in it. And as I get it from the Dean, she leans in close to me and she smiles, and she says—[train whistle] that’s my ride, actually. I have got to get on that train, I’m sorry. [Heads off stage.] Evidently that happens a lot here.—So, I’m getting my folder, and the Dean leans into me, shakes my hand and says, “I’m sorry.” I have no idea what she means. So I go back to my seat and I open it up. And, instead of having a diploma inside, there’s a scrap—a torn scrap of paper—that has scrawled on it, “See me.” I kid you not.
Evidently I had an incomplete in an independent study that I had failed to complete. And I did not have enough credits. And, let me tell you, when your whole family shows up and you get to have your picture taken with them—and instead of holding up your diploma, you hold the torn corner of a yellow legal pad—that is a humbling experience. But eventually, I finished. I got my credits and next year at Christmas time, they have mid-year graduation. And I went there to get my diploma then. They said that I had an overdue library fine and they wouldn’t give it to me again. And they eventually mailed it to me...I think. I’m pretty sure I graduated from college.
But I guess the question is, why have a two-time commencement loser like me speak to you today? Well, one of the reasons they already mentioned—I recovered from that slow start. And I was recently named by Time magazine one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World! Yeah! Give it up for me! Basic cable—THE WORLD! I guess I have more fans in Sub-Saharan Africa than I thought. I’m right here on the cover between Katie Couric and Bono. That’s my little picture—a sexy little sandwich between those two.
But if you do the math, there are 100 Most Influential People in the World. There are 6.5 billion people in the world. That means that today I am here representing 65 million people. That’s as big as some countries. What country has about 65 million people? Iran? Iran has 65 million people. So, for all intents and purposes, I’m here representing Iran today. Don’t shoot.
But the best reason for me to come to speak at Knox College is that I attended Knox College. This is part of my personal history that you will rarely see reported. Partly because the press doesn’t do the proper research. But mostly because—it is not true! I just made it up, so this moment would be more poignant for all of us. How great would it be if I could actually come back here—if I was coming back to my alma mater to be honored like this. I could share with you all my happy memories that I spent here in...Galesburg, Illinois. Hanging out at the Seymour Hall, right? Seymour Hall? You know, all of us alumni, we remember being at Seymour Hall, playing those drinking games. We played a drinking game called Lincoln-Douglas. Great game. What you do is, you act out the Lincoln-Douglas debate and any time one of the guys mentions the Dred Scott decision you have to chug a beer. Well, technically 3/5 of a beer. [groans from audience]
You DO have a good education! I wasn’t sure if anybody was going to get that joke.
I soon learned that a frat house—oops—divided against itself cannot stand.
How can I forget cheering on the team—the Knox College Knockers? The Prairie Fire. Seriously, the Prairie Fire. Your team is named after something that can get you federal disaster relief. I assume the “Flash Floods” was taken.
Oh, yes, the memories are so fresh. It was as if it was just yesterday I made them up. And the history, you don’t have to tell me the history of Knox College. No, your Web site is very thorough. The college itself has long been known for its diversity. I am myself a supporter of diversity. I myself have an interracial marriage. I am Irish and my wife is Scottish. But we work it out. And it is fitting, most fitting, that I should speak at Knox College today because it was founded by abolitionists. And I gotta say—I’m going to go out on the limb here—I believe slavery was wrong. No, I don’t care who that upsets. I just hope the mainstream media give me the credit for the courage it took to say that today. I know the blogosphere is just going to explode tomorrow. But enough about me—if there can be enough about me.
Today is about you—you who have worked so hard to pack your heads with learning until your skulls are all plump like—sausage of knowledge. It’s an apt metaphor, don’t question it. But now your time at college is at an end. Now you are leaving here. And this leads me to a question that just isn’t asked enough at commencements. Why are you leaving here?
This seems like a very nice place. They have a lovely Web site. Besides, have you seen the world outside lately? They are playing for KEEPS out there, folks. My God, I couldn’t wait to get here today just so I could take a breather from the real world. I don’t know if they told you what’s happened while you’ve matriculated here for the past four years. The world is waiting for you people with a club. Unprecedented changes happening in the last four years. Like globalization. We now live in a hyperconnected, global economic, outsourced society. Now there are positives and minuses here. And a positive is that globalization helps us understand and learn from otherwise foreign cultures. For example, I now know how to ask for a Happy Meal in five different languages. In Paris, I’d like a “Repas Heureux” In Madrid a “Comida Feliz” In Calcutta, a “Kushkana, hold the beef.” In Tokyo, a “Happi- Shokuji ” And in Berlin, I can order what is perhaps the least happy-sounding Happy Meal, a “Glückselig Mahlzeit.”
Also globalization, e-mail, cell phones interconnect our nations like never before. It is possible for even the most insulated American to have friends from all over the world. For instance, I recently received an e-mail asking me to help a deposed Nigerian prince who is looking for a business partner to recuperate his fortune. Thanks to the flexibility of global banking, a Swiss bank account is ready and waiting for my share of his money. I know, because I just e-mailed him my Social Security number.
Unfortunately for you job seekers, corporations searching for a better bottom line have moved many of their operations overseas, whether it’s a customer service operator, a power factory foreman, or an American flag manufacturer. They’re just as likely to be found in Shanghai as Omaha. In fact, outsourcing is so easy that I had this speech today written by a young man named Panjeeb from Bangalore.
If you don’t like the jokes, I assure you they were much funnier in Urdu...
And when you enter the workforce, you will find competition from those crossing our all-too-porous borders. Now I know you’re all going to say, “Stephen, Stephen, immigrants built America.” Yes, but here’s the thing—it’s built now. I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spanish, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools.
So we must build walls. A wall obviously across the entire southern border. That’s the answer. That may not be enough—maybe a moat in front of it, or a fire-pit. Maybe a flaming moat, filled with fire-proof crocodiles. And we should probably wall off the northern border as well. Keep those Canadians with their socialized medicine and their skunky beer out. And because immigrants can swim, we’ll probably want to wall off the coasts as well. And while we’re at it, we need to put up a dome, in case they have catapults. And we’ll punch some holes in it so we can breathe. Breathe free. It’s time for illegal immigrants to go—right after they finish building those walls. Yes, yes, I agree with me.
There are so many challenges facing this next generation, and as they said earlier, you are up for these challenges. And I agree, except that I don’t think you are. I don’t know if you’re tough enough to handle this. You are the most cuddled generation in history. I belong to the last generation that did not have to be in a car seat. You had to be in car seats. I did not have to wear a helmet when I rode my bike. You do. You have to wear helmets when you go swimming, right? In case you bump your head against the side of the pool. Oh, by the way, I should have said, my speech today may contain some peanut products.
My mother had 11 children: Jimmy, Eddie, Mary, Billy, Morgan, Tommy, Jay, Lou, Paul, Peter, Stephen. You may applaud my mother’s womb. Thank you, I’ll let her know. She could never protect us the way you all have been protected. She couldn’t fit 11 car seats. She would just open the back of her Town & Country—stack us like cord wood: four this way, four that way. And she put crushed glass in the empty spaces to keep it steady. Then she would roll up all the windows in the winter time and light up a cigarette. When I die I will not need to be embalmed, because as a child my mother hickory-smoked me.
I mean even these ceremonies are too safe. I mean this mortarboard...look, it’s padded. It’s padded everywhere. When I graduated from college, we had the edges sharpened. When we threw ours up in the air, we knew some of us weren’t coming home.
But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you. Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don’t understand why we’re here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots.
But you seem nice enough, so I’ll try to give you some advice. First of all, when you go to apply for your first job, don’t wear these robes. Medieval garb does not instill confidence in future employers—unless you’re applying to be a scrivener. And if someone does offer you a job, say yes. You can always quit later. Then at least you’ll be one of the unemployed as opposed to one of the never-employed. Nothing looks worse on a resume than nothing.
So, say “yes.” In fact, say “yes” as often as you can. When I was starting out in Chicago, doing improvisational theatre with Second City and other places, there was really only one rule I was taught about improv. That was, “yes-and.” In this case, “yes-and” is a verb. To “yes-and.” I yes-and, you yes-and, he, she or it yes-ands. And yes-anding means that when you go onstage to improvise a scene with no script, you have no idea what’s going to happen, maybe with someone you’ve never met before. To build a scene, you have to accept. To build anything onstage, you have to accept what the other improviser initiates on stage. They say you’re doctors—you’re doctors. And then, you add to that: We’re doctors and we’re trapped in an ice cave. That’s the “-and.” And then hopefully they “yes-and” you back. You have to keep your eyes open when you do this. You have to be aware of what the other performer is offering you, so that you can agree and add to it. And through these agreements, you can improvise a scene or a one-act play. And because, by following each other’s lead, neither of you are really in control. It’s more of a mutual discovery than a solo adventure. What happens in a scene is often as much a surprise to you as it is to the audience.
Well, you are about to start the greatest improvisation of all. With no script. No idea what’s going to happen, often with people and places you have never seen before. And you are not in control. So say “yes.” And if you’re lucky, you’ll find people who will say “yes” back.
Now will saying “yes” get you in trouble at times? Will saying “yes” lead you to doing some foolish things? Yes it will. But don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes.”
And that’s The Word.
I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat.
Congratulations to the class of 2006. Thank you for the honor of addressing you.
Uh oh Jungo - US Administration at it again
Still not really happy with how they've ripped up the concept that torture is wrong, the US army alas is taking out the bits of its manual that dealt with that as well.
See the LA Times article here
(Registration likely required)
Here's the relevant snippet.
The Pentagon has decided to omit from new detainee policies a key tenet of the Geneva Convention that explicitly bans "humiliating and degrading treatment," according to knowledgeable military officials, a step that would mark a further, potentially permanent, shift away from strict adherence to international human rights standards.
Here's another delish bit from the article
Among the directives being rewritten following Bush's 2002 order is one governing U.S. detention operations. Military lawyers and other defense officials wanted the redrawn version of the document known as DoD Directive 2310, to again embrace Common Article 3 of the Geneva Convention.
That provision — known as a "common" article because it is part of each of the four Geneva pacts approved in 1949 — bans torture and cruel treatment. Unlike other Geneva provisions, Article 3 covers all detainees — whether they are held as unlawful combatants or traditional prisoners of war. The protections for detainees in Article 3 go beyond the McCain amendment by specifically prohibiting humiliation, treatment that falls short of cruelty or torture.
Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. The Bush administration is shooting itself in its much bullet ridden foot again. It will piss off Europe, make its British ally look bad by association, and it gives shrieking mullahs and other whako fuckwits ammunition to exhort their 'on the edge' faithful.
Why did the insurgency get worse in Iraq? It's because the yanks kept kicking in doors, screaming at people, pointing guns at women and children, and having rules of engagement that were so pathetically weak as to be dangerous to their strategic objectives. Hey not to say other elements were involved like sacking anyone who was a Ba'athist and the rest of the armed forces didn't have an impact too.
The yanks may have the best conventional military known to man. But at the end of the day the public face is the 19 year old with the Simpson's squeaky voice who is trained to shoot first and ask questions later. Its just not the best thing to have when the high tech war is over and its down to grunts in Humvees trying to keep a lid on a boiling over ethnic pressure cooker.
The Bush administration may be the worst presidential administration ever in the history of the US. Can anyone think of a worse one? I can't.
See the LA Times article here
(Registration likely required)
Here's the relevant snippet.
The Pentagon has decided to omit from new detainee policies a key tenet of the Geneva Convention that explicitly bans "humiliating and degrading treatment," according to knowledgeable military officials, a step that would mark a further, potentially permanent, shift away from strict adherence to international human rights standards.
Here's another delish bit from the article
Among the directives being rewritten following Bush's 2002 order is one governing U.S. detention operations. Military lawyers and other defense officials wanted the redrawn version of the document known as DoD Directive 2310, to again embrace Common Article 3 of the Geneva Convention.
That provision — known as a "common" article because it is part of each of the four Geneva pacts approved in 1949 — bans torture and cruel treatment. Unlike other Geneva provisions, Article 3 covers all detainees — whether they are held as unlawful combatants or traditional prisoners of war. The protections for detainees in Article 3 go beyond the McCain amendment by specifically prohibiting humiliation, treatment that falls short of cruelty or torture.
Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable. The Bush administration is shooting itself in its much bullet ridden foot again. It will piss off Europe, make its British ally look bad by association, and it gives shrieking mullahs and other whako fuckwits ammunition to exhort their 'on the edge' faithful.
Why did the insurgency get worse in Iraq? It's because the yanks kept kicking in doors, screaming at people, pointing guns at women and children, and having rules of engagement that were so pathetically weak as to be dangerous to their strategic objectives. Hey not to say other elements were involved like sacking anyone who was a Ba'athist and the rest of the armed forces didn't have an impact too.
The yanks may have the best conventional military known to man. But at the end of the day the public face is the 19 year old with the Simpson's squeaky voice who is trained to shoot first and ask questions later. Its just not the best thing to have when the high tech war is over and its down to grunts in Humvees trying to keep a lid on a boiling over ethnic pressure cooker.
The Bush administration may be the worst presidential administration ever in the history of the US. Can anyone think of a worse one? I can't.
The Oz on board with its back Howard on gays message - you see giving homosexuals the right to a civil union harms them in the long run
Check out the editoral from today's Oz - you can find it here
Howard's helper
Australia's tolerant society does not need gay marriage
IN seeking to push through laws to allow gay couples to marry in all but name, ACT Chief Minister Jon Stanhope has handed John Howard a wedge issue that will bolster the Prime Minister's credentials with middle Australia. Few societies are as tolerant as this one when it comes to its citizens' private lives. Several states allow same-sex couples to adopt children, and Australians are relaxed about homosexuality. But while they support extending to gay couples the same property and inheritance rights that their married peers enjoy, most Australians draw the line at sanctifying gay relationships with the institution of wedlock. Recognising this political reality, Mr Howard and Attorney-General Philip Ruddock announced on Tuesday that the commonwealth would intervene to veto the ACT's Civil Unions Act, passed in amended form last month. The changes, which Mr Ruddock sought earlier this year, did not go far enough to alleviate Howard cabinet concerns that, under the law, gay civil unions and marriage would be the same.
The commonwealth last intervened in territory law in 1997 when it scuppered the Northern Territory's euthanasia legislation. Two years ago, the federal Government won bipartisan backing when it sought to clarify that marriage was a union between a man and a woman. Mr Stanhope may have thought he was playing clever politics with his elite Canberra constituency when he determined to thumb his nose at this national consensus against gay marriage. Instead, his grandstanding on same-sex unions has backfired badly and against the interests of homosexual couples. At the same time, he has helped boost Mr Howard's moral authority where it counts – with swinging voters.
If Mr Stanhope wants to support the gay community, he should turn his attention to practical issues, such as winning federal agreement to overturn laws that still discriminate against gay relationships, including the Medicare safety net, public sector superannuation, veterans' entitlements and judicial pensions. Same-sex couples should not let their private lives be manipulated for political advantage.
The right wing 'less tax for the rich' bible that is the Oz hates John Stanhope. It hates him for the fact that his government is less about politics that it is about doing the right thing. You should have seen the bashing it gave him over his pitch to move to Canberra, claiming that pursuit of things like extending the right to marry to 10% of the population was an expensive distraction from the woeful state of fiscal affairs.
Just a note on that The Australian. Do you know why Canberra suffers when it comes to money? Because it's very small with no resources to speak of beyond its land which it sells for 99 years. It was the same with the previous Liberal government, and the sparse money we have is likewise reflected in a massively belt tightening exercise we're about to go through that means 25% of schools will close.
We do not have access to the resource boom as well you know. We're easily the most on the edge territory in this country.
Moving on to this little pearl from the Oz.
You see apparently I, like fellow Canberrans, am an elitist because I believe in things like extending rights to everyone. Such as being married, not to mention not being locked up without charge. Yes, very elitist of me. I should remember that as I drive my fucking $4,000 car to work for my average job with an average wage and not drinking expensive coffees and wines that I don't know the names of.
Canberrans are not elitist. But it's true that we are the most left leaning place in Oz. And it's no surpise that most of us like Stanhope.
The reason for that? Because for the most part The Australian we are the most educated place in Australia. Who would have thought that tolerance and respect for the rights and feelings of fellow Australians would be linked to a high level of education? Wow - that's amazing.
We also see through political bullshit considering fuckheads like Howard et al come here with their poisonous wedge crap and try and smear it like shit from a mental patient over the padded wall that is now the Australian cultural landscape.
Notice too no mention at all of the fact the ACT laws are essentially the same as the Tasmanian laws. Why would that be The Australian? Could it be that it undercuts your 'gays are only hurting themselves with this shit' message? I suspect so.
As for this little pearler; "most Australians draw the line at sanctifying gay relationships with the institution of wedlock";
Complete bullshit as well they know. It was not about wedlock - with all the religious connotations that implies. It's about providing a legal mechanism by which two people who love each other who happen to pack the same baby making equipment gain the legal protection a heterosexual relationship gains.
To say they can't have it is bigotry pure and simple. To claim that somehow state marriage is a special institution that only hetros can have because it's special is the exact sort of reasoning as not letting people of colour vote, or excluding jews from country clubs, or women from voting, or any other special consideration crap that minorities and the put upon have had to put up ever since civilisation happened.
It's exclusory and it's wrong.
The Oz is right in one thing - Howard is using it as a wedge, like he uses terrorism as a wedge, or industrial relations as a wedge, or nuclear power as a wedge. Pretty much everything as a wedge in my opinion.
Howard may not even be a bigot in real life. But I'd say that he dresses in the cloak of bigotry for his political survival. And that makes him worse than a bigot. Because a bigot is an ill educated fuckwit that has yet to reason out their irrational hatreds. Howard is a pragmatic politician that embraces this sort to his non lactating bossom.
He should therefore know better.
But he's not on to a winner with this. There may be a generation of money loving generation Y coming up the ladder behind us X types that are more prone to vote for the Big L, but for the most part sexuality is no big deal for them.
So Howard better watch himself that he doesn't wedge himself out of existence in case his spreading hate about people and legislating to block rights might cause his mini capitalists to take their noses out of their wallets for two seconds and pay attention to the wrong that he's pursuing.
Here's hoping.
Finally the Oz's last line -
Same-sex couples should not let their private lives be manipulated for political advantage.
Who do you think is actually doing that The Australian? Howard or Stanhope? If you say Stanhope then that just points to the biased Liberal loving publication you've been ever since 1975.
I bet you my trusty still retained groat The Australian that you ask any gay person in a committed monogamous relationship who'd they'd back over this and it would be Stanhope 100% of the time.
I'm curious as to who wrote this editorial. I'm thinking perhaps Akerman or Bolt. It's the sort of poisonous sancimonious drivel that pair of fuckheads would burble out.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Because you see gays are not people like you and me
The Howard government today announced that it would scrub the recent civil union laws in the ACT that allowed same sex partnerships to have legal protection akin to a civil union between people of the opposite sex. See the article here.
This despite the ACT addressing the concerns of the Commonwealth when drafting the legislation.
Why am I not surprised? Especially since Howard's bum pal (ha ha) Bush is also bringing the war against the gay community because amending the Constitution to include laws for the first time that strip rights from people is somehow more important than fixing all the many many things wrong over there.
Do you think he and Howard ever kissed over a late night cognac when discussing their respective ways of foisting their narrow minded bigotry on the rest of the planet in an effort to win over bigots to their party? I bet they came close. Maybe a brush past or something.
It's just fucking typical of this and the US government. The Liberals and Republican parties rule not by inclusion and welcome but by fear and rejection. They are in all sense of the word bullies. Narrow minded bullies. The sort of fuckwits in high school that mocked others for being different because they feared difference, knew it played well with fuckwits, and likely because their penises were too small.
The irony is that both of them still, despite their theorised small pensises, managed to crack out some hottie daughters.
Maybe that was a choice for them? Maybe God came to them and said 'yea, for despite your physical appearances not being the most attractive I will bless thee with daughters that will be fair with beauty. In return you must make sure that homosexuals will never know the bliss of a state santioned union.'
I can only put it down to that.
So Howard Huggers out there who visit occassionally. This is the person you put your trust in. A narrow minded nasty little bigot that wedges on race and sexuality.
I hope you think it was worth the trade off against what ever it was you saw in him to vote for him in the first place.
This despite the ACT addressing the concerns of the Commonwealth when drafting the legislation.
Why am I not surprised? Especially since Howard's bum pal (ha ha) Bush is also bringing the war against the gay community because amending the Constitution to include laws for the first time that strip rights from people is somehow more important than fixing all the many many things wrong over there.
Do you think he and Howard ever kissed over a late night cognac when discussing their respective ways of foisting their narrow minded bigotry on the rest of the planet in an effort to win over bigots to their party? I bet they came close. Maybe a brush past or something.
It's just fucking typical of this and the US government. The Liberals and Republican parties rule not by inclusion and welcome but by fear and rejection. They are in all sense of the word bullies. Narrow minded bullies. The sort of fuckwits in high school that mocked others for being different because they feared difference, knew it played well with fuckwits, and likely because their penises were too small.
The irony is that both of them still, despite their theorised small pensises, managed to crack out some hottie daughters.
Maybe that was a choice for them? Maybe God came to them and said 'yea, for despite your physical appearances not being the most attractive I will bless thee with daughters that will be fair with beauty. In return you must make sure that homosexuals will never know the bliss of a state santioned union.'
I can only put it down to that.
So Howard Huggers out there who visit occassionally. This is the person you put your trust in. A narrow minded nasty little bigot that wedges on race and sexuality.
I hope you think it was worth the trade off against what ever it was you saw in him to vote for him in the first place.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Went and saw my mum
My parents live about 10 hours away from Canberra, so seeing them is a major effort. It usually means only 1-2 visits a year.
However my mum, who is chair bound with MS, has taken advantage of the excellent support offered by the MS people in NSW, and received respite care in a top notch facility in Sydney - allowing my dad to chance to go overseas at least one more time to the Northern part of the world to see friends and family.
With the assignment largely done we thought 'what the heck' and with all our weekend stuff completed on the Saturday, we went up yesterday to see her.
Man she looked good. Spanking hair cut, completely lucid, and clearly cheery despite being six weeks away from dad.
Her electric trolley was out so she was in a normal wheelchair. It was weird because I have not seen her at sitting down height for nearly I think 10 years. Because trollies are much higher.
Embarrasingly for me my first reaction was 'hey, she looks like a normal disabled person.'
It's true, it was a horrid thing to think. I think it's because that even though she's a normal build person (she used to be a little plump - no where near HM in status of course) - the electric trolley she used was identical to the ones sported by the ultra morbidly obese. So there was always this sort of vibe that she was choosing not to walk instead of not being able to walk.
Not that 99% of people in trolleys choose not to walk. Most can't because of various injuries or failing bits of bodies. Maybe it's because I have this massive self loathing for being fat that I instantly think the worst of trolley people because that will be me if I don't stop being 'Mr Sedentary eats a fuckload' (which sounds like a p0rn nasty Mr Men book).
Anway, moving on from my shameful thoughts RE disability, it was great to see her, and well worth the trip to Sydney to do so. And I feel shit that being just four hours away I saw her just once. She's worth way more than that. And when she goes again I will resolve to visit more than I did.
While we were talking this other resident cruised past. We got to talking. Mum and he swapped disability stories. 'How big is your wee bag?' 'Two litres' 'wow'. It was kewl. It was like rev heads comparing the stats of their cars.
The dude was starved for attention so he was a bit talkative. In the end mum kind of shooed him away. But he had something interesting to say about MS.
'I got diagnosed at 18. I wasn't chair bound until 31. I crammed a lot of life into those years. Disability is mental more than anything. You can't be disabled in the head cause the physical is bad enough.'
Note quite Carpe Diem, and paraphrased, but it was pretty impressive. He had a family during this time and made the most of what he had going. And there was me, sad about hefting around a toddler's worth of weight. Fuck me at least I can walk.
The other interesting thing was hearing tales of the early years that I was too young to remember. I was raised in WA in the early part of my life, leaving there when I was about seven. So I can't remember much.
My dad worked for a wealthy entrepreneur. It was the heady 70's in WA where the stock market and commercial life was very cut and thrust. Apparently his boss, who was very successful, had engaged in legally correct but dodgy looking deals. Including signing contracts under the glare of headlights in islands that had legal structures that allowed colourful manuevering.
Not that my dad was involved in any of this. He just ran the property for the guy. But the police came in and started hauling away documents for an investigation into this. Knowing there were many other files that my dad felt were sensitive and beyond the scope of the police business to know since it did not concern the investigation at all, but could potentially be seized and held hostage for months, Dad grabbed them all.
Apparently he, my mum, and my brother - in his little yellow rain coat - crammed the garbage bag wrapped files into their mini moke and zoomed into the dark of rainy night to relocate them. They found a spot and buried them in pouring rain, slopping mud everywhere, with my brother dancing gaily about in his little yellow wellies.
Later, months later, Dad went and got them back. But apparently appearing as a witness in the subsequent trial into all of this meant he missed out on my birth.
All very exciting stuff and definitely a lot greyer activity I ever considered my dad ever having been involved in. I can see why he did it, cause he was very loyal to his boss, but it certainly does not look 100% above board. I think I might have to ask him about this.
Great story though ... :)
However my mum, who is chair bound with MS, has taken advantage of the excellent support offered by the MS people in NSW, and received respite care in a top notch facility in Sydney - allowing my dad to chance to go overseas at least one more time to the Northern part of the world to see friends and family.
With the assignment largely done we thought 'what the heck' and with all our weekend stuff completed on the Saturday, we went up yesterday to see her.
Man she looked good. Spanking hair cut, completely lucid, and clearly cheery despite being six weeks away from dad.
Her electric trolley was out so she was in a normal wheelchair. It was weird because I have not seen her at sitting down height for nearly I think 10 years. Because trollies are much higher.
Embarrasingly for me my first reaction was 'hey, she looks like a normal disabled person.'
It's true, it was a horrid thing to think. I think it's because that even though she's a normal build person (she used to be a little plump - no where near HM in status of course) - the electric trolley she used was identical to the ones sported by the ultra morbidly obese. So there was always this sort of vibe that she was choosing not to walk instead of not being able to walk.
Not that 99% of people in trolleys choose not to walk. Most can't because of various injuries or failing bits of bodies. Maybe it's because I have this massive self loathing for being fat that I instantly think the worst of trolley people because that will be me if I don't stop being 'Mr Sedentary eats a fuckload' (which sounds like a p0rn nasty Mr Men book).
Anway, moving on from my shameful thoughts RE disability, it was great to see her, and well worth the trip to Sydney to do so. And I feel shit that being just four hours away I saw her just once. She's worth way more than that. And when she goes again I will resolve to visit more than I did.
While we were talking this other resident cruised past. We got to talking. Mum and he swapped disability stories. 'How big is your wee bag?' 'Two litres' 'wow'. It was kewl. It was like rev heads comparing the stats of their cars.
The dude was starved for attention so he was a bit talkative. In the end mum kind of shooed him away. But he had something interesting to say about MS.
'I got diagnosed at 18. I wasn't chair bound until 31. I crammed a lot of life into those years. Disability is mental more than anything. You can't be disabled in the head cause the physical is bad enough.'
Note quite Carpe Diem, and paraphrased, but it was pretty impressive. He had a family during this time and made the most of what he had going. And there was me, sad about hefting around a toddler's worth of weight. Fuck me at least I can walk.
The other interesting thing was hearing tales of the early years that I was too young to remember. I was raised in WA in the early part of my life, leaving there when I was about seven. So I can't remember much.
My dad worked for a wealthy entrepreneur. It was the heady 70's in WA where the stock market and commercial life was very cut and thrust. Apparently his boss, who was very successful, had engaged in legally correct but dodgy looking deals. Including signing contracts under the glare of headlights in islands that had legal structures that allowed colourful manuevering.
Not that my dad was involved in any of this. He just ran the property for the guy. But the police came in and started hauling away documents for an investigation into this. Knowing there were many other files that my dad felt were sensitive and beyond the scope of the police business to know since it did not concern the investigation at all, but could potentially be seized and held hostage for months, Dad grabbed them all.
Apparently he, my mum, and my brother - in his little yellow rain coat - crammed the garbage bag wrapped files into their mini moke and zoomed into the dark of rainy night to relocate them. They found a spot and buried them in pouring rain, slopping mud everywhere, with my brother dancing gaily about in his little yellow wellies.
Later, months later, Dad went and got them back. But apparently appearing as a witness in the subsequent trial into all of this meant he missed out on my birth.
All very exciting stuff and definitely a lot greyer activity I ever considered my dad ever having been involved in. I can see why he did it, cause he was very loyal to his boss, but it certainly does not look 100% above board. I think I might have to ask him about this.
Great story though ... :)
More Gitmo Fun
It's fun being an armchair expert about stuff. Law for example. But it's even more fun when open letters from eminent experts on an issue come out backing your position.
Like this beauty on David Hicks for example. Taken from the ICJ site - which can be found here.
Of course, like I said, I am not a lawyer. But the same can't be said of the people who signed this. However it should be noted that as jurists they don't have the same political pressures like shrieking politicians do when trying to out bid each other on Laura Norder despite any actual impetus to do so beyond their own political aspirations.
ICJ AUSTRALIA
3 June 2006
The Hon John Howard MP
House of Representatives
Parliament House
Canberra ACT 2600
Dear Prime Minister,
Re: David Hicks and Guantanamo Bay - Open Letter
As Australian lawyers we wish to bring to your attention that the imprisonment of David Hicks at Guantanamo Bay and his proposed trial by Military Commission, are illegal under international law. Whether or not David Hicks is in fact guilty or innocent is not the issue. The illegality lies in the process of indefinite detention and unfair trial by Military Commission, a process which expressly has no application to any American citizen.
Notwithstanding contrary positions adopted by the United States, the protections of international humanitarian and human rights law, as reflected in the Geneva Convention and the Civil and Political Rights Covenant, remain applicable to Mr Hicks. Both the United States and Australia are parties to these treaties and are bound by them. However, Australia has failed to comply with its obligations and fulfill its responsibilities under international law and has been complicit in the conduct of the United States.
The imprisonment at Guantanamo Bay and the unfair trial of David Hicks by Military Commission are an affront to international legal standards, indeed all civilized legal standards. The President of the United States has claimed the unilateral authority to try persons nominated by him as suspected terrorists in a system which is wholly outside the traditional civilian and military judicial systems. He seeks to conduct such trials before persons who are his chosen subordinates. The Military Commissions deny the basic rights to an independent and impartial trial and the procedures do not exclude evidence obtained by coercion including the use of cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.
The system also denies the fundamental right to an expeditious trial. David Hicks was in custody for two and a half years before he was charged on 10 June 2004. He has now been imprisoned for four and a half years without a trial. It is not fairly open to attribute this inordinate delay to Mr Hicks and his lawyers. It was the unjust system of trial by Military Commission which gave rise to his legitimate court challenge, a process which in any event occupied a small proportion of the total period. Further, there remains no explanation for the unconscionable delay prior to Mr Hicks being charged.
If Australia fails to join the United Kingdom in condemning these violations, it not only fails in its duty to one of its citizens, it also plays a part in undermining international legal order. This is not in our own interests nor is it in the interests of our strategic partner. It is therefore imperative that Australia encourages the United States to respect the principles of the rule of law and the protection of the bed rock freedoms which are enshrined in the major international law treaties.
The menace of terrorism is real. However, to meet the danger the world needs not only a military solution, but renewed and sustained commitment to the rule of law and to fundamental principles of human dignity and respect for human rights. This is the shared heritage of a civilized world. Unless we are vigilant, terrorism may achieve the destruction of these values. We should not give it such a victory.
Yours Sincerely,
The Hon John Dowd AO QC
President
ICJ Australia
on behalf of all of the Australian lawyers who are signatories to this letter published on www.icj-aust.org.au
Like this beauty on David Hicks for example. Taken from the ICJ site - which can be found here.
Of course, like I said, I am not a lawyer. But the same can't be said of the people who signed this. However it should be noted that as jurists they don't have the same political pressures like shrieking politicians do when trying to out bid each other on Laura Norder despite any actual impetus to do so beyond their own political aspirations.
ICJ AUSTRALIA
3 June 2006
The Hon John Howard MP
House of Representatives
Parliament House
Canberra ACT 2600
Dear Prime Minister,
Re: David Hicks and Guantanamo Bay - Open Letter
As Australian lawyers we wish to bring to your attention that the imprisonment of David Hicks at Guantanamo Bay and his proposed trial by Military Commission, are illegal under international law. Whether or not David Hicks is in fact guilty or innocent is not the issue. The illegality lies in the process of indefinite detention and unfair trial by Military Commission, a process which expressly has no application to any American citizen.
Notwithstanding contrary positions adopted by the United States, the protections of international humanitarian and human rights law, as reflected in the Geneva Convention and the Civil and Political Rights Covenant, remain applicable to Mr Hicks. Both the United States and Australia are parties to these treaties and are bound by them. However, Australia has failed to comply with its obligations and fulfill its responsibilities under international law and has been complicit in the conduct of the United States.
The imprisonment at Guantanamo Bay and the unfair trial of David Hicks by Military Commission are an affront to international legal standards, indeed all civilized legal standards. The President of the United States has claimed the unilateral authority to try persons nominated by him as suspected terrorists in a system which is wholly outside the traditional civilian and military judicial systems. He seeks to conduct such trials before persons who are his chosen subordinates. The Military Commissions deny the basic rights to an independent and impartial trial and the procedures do not exclude evidence obtained by coercion including the use of cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment.
The system also denies the fundamental right to an expeditious trial. David Hicks was in custody for two and a half years before he was charged on 10 June 2004. He has now been imprisoned for four and a half years without a trial. It is not fairly open to attribute this inordinate delay to Mr Hicks and his lawyers. It was the unjust system of trial by Military Commission which gave rise to his legitimate court challenge, a process which in any event occupied a small proportion of the total period. Further, there remains no explanation for the unconscionable delay prior to Mr Hicks being charged.
If Australia fails to join the United Kingdom in condemning these violations, it not only fails in its duty to one of its citizens, it also plays a part in undermining international legal order. This is not in our own interests nor is it in the interests of our strategic partner. It is therefore imperative that Australia encourages the United States to respect the principles of the rule of law and the protection of the bed rock freedoms which are enshrined in the major international law treaties.
The menace of terrorism is real. However, to meet the danger the world needs not only a military solution, but renewed and sustained commitment to the rule of law and to fundamental principles of human dignity and respect for human rights. This is the shared heritage of a civilized world. Unless we are vigilant, terrorism may achieve the destruction of these values. We should not give it such a victory.
Yours Sincerely,
The Hon John Dowd AO QC
President
ICJ Australia
on behalf of all of the Australian lawyers who are signatories to this letter published on www.icj-aust.org.au
Reaping what they have sown
Ah delish,
All those fucked up IR laws foisted on the Oz public are starting to bite on the Liberal party. Turns out that most employers are taking advantage of them to fuck their workers over.
The race to the bottom has begun.
Being a public servant in a large department I am yet to suffer from this. But give it say two years when the next agreement is up and like other government workers at the federal level I will be affected by it.
By the way. The only delish part is seeing Howard and Andrews going the squirm on this. It's fucked for the rest of it.
Here's the SMH article - go here. Oh, turns out the Cowra sacking / offer for less was likely legal under this despite protestations otherwise.
I'm sure the occassional 'Howard government fine by me' types will leap on the fact that financial viability was the alleged cause for said 'operational reasons'. And well done. But if that's the case, what makes that operation so different to all the other union backed meat worker operations in this country? Especially given most of the meat is butchered for the domestic market and therefore not subject to the international pressues like manufacturing. Be interesting to see.
Oh, the Spotlight lady. This is classic. A spotlight worker was asked to sign away $90 a week in penalties for a $0.02 payrise. This came to national attention - especially since the woman was a life long (so she says) Liberal party supporter.
Howard's rejoinder? AWAs have apparently allowed the operation to open a new Mount Druid store which apparently employed 38 unemployed people who could not find work otherwise. Therefore 'the laws are great and doing their job - more jobs for all.'
As the SMH editorial however pointed out. Under the old system the Spotlight lads managed to scrape together a 600 million dollar operation and 100 stores before all of this.
Mr Howard is making a lot of Spotlight's new store at Mount Druitt employing 38 formerly unemployed people among its 40 staff on the new Australian workplace agreements. But how did its proprietors manage to create a nationwide network of 100 stores, from their original shop in Melbourne in 1973, if the old system was so bad?
Indeed. The low skilled and semi-skilled live in 'Interesting Times'. I wish them all the best of luck.
They'll need it.
All those fucked up IR laws foisted on the Oz public are starting to bite on the Liberal party. Turns out that most employers are taking advantage of them to fuck their workers over.
The race to the bottom has begun.
Being a public servant in a large department I am yet to suffer from this. But give it say two years when the next agreement is up and like other government workers at the federal level I will be affected by it.
By the way. The only delish part is seeing Howard and Andrews going the squirm on this. It's fucked for the rest of it.
Here's the SMH article - go here. Oh, turns out the Cowra sacking / offer for less was likely legal under this despite protestations otherwise.
I'm sure the occassional 'Howard government fine by me' types will leap on the fact that financial viability was the alleged cause for said 'operational reasons'. And well done. But if that's the case, what makes that operation so different to all the other union backed meat worker operations in this country? Especially given most of the meat is butchered for the domestic market and therefore not subject to the international pressues like manufacturing. Be interesting to see.
Oh, the Spotlight lady. This is classic. A spotlight worker was asked to sign away $90 a week in penalties for a $0.02 payrise. This came to national attention - especially since the woman was a life long (so she says) Liberal party supporter.
Howard's rejoinder? AWAs have apparently allowed the operation to open a new Mount Druid store which apparently employed 38 unemployed people who could not find work otherwise. Therefore 'the laws are great and doing their job - more jobs for all.'
As the SMH editorial however pointed out. Under the old system the Spotlight lads managed to scrape together a 600 million dollar operation and 100 stores before all of this.
Mr Howard is making a lot of Spotlight's new store at Mount Druitt employing 38 formerly unemployed people among its 40 staff on the new Australian workplace agreements. But how did its proprietors manage to create a nationwide network of 100 stores, from their original shop in Melbourne in 1973, if the old system was so bad?
Indeed. The low skilled and semi-skilled live in 'Interesting Times'. I wish them all the best of luck.
They'll need it.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
You can't DNA sample for a taste test
Well done Australia, well done. You have managed to come up with a reliable test for determining the age of whales without recourse to coring them like an apple.
Congratulations. I mean it. You did well. You have saved us valuable minutes of research.
I agree - analysis of skin shed by humpbacks can determine whether these fragments come from adults or calves, taking the first step towards closely setting their age. This completely undermines our previous arguement about why we kill them.
So here's a better one. Taste testing. Can you DNA sample for that ? I don't think so.
The only reliable test for tasting is the killing and the eating of the whale. Does a Minke taste like otter or peanut butter? Can a Humpback taste like chicken or tuna? How will we know unless we catch them, kill them, and eat them?
And you can't just have one. It's like Chicken McNuggets. Seriously. One whale on thousands of tiny toothpicks across all demographics to nibble and test? Be gone in seconds without our palates able to really lock down the fishy flavours they exude.
Be our guest Australia. Try and DNA up us some taste tests that don't involve us chasing them around the Southern Ocean, playing chicken with Greenpeace, killing the whales, then eating them on down.
If you can do that, then we give up. Seriously. I can't think of any other tests we'd want to do if you manage to solve that dilemma.
What's that? A blue whale? Mmmm, I'm thinking pork with a hint of kous kous. Now, where's my explosive harpoon?
(Japanese Whaling Commission)
See article DNA test harpoons excuse for whaling
Congratulations. I mean it. You did well. You have saved us valuable minutes of research.
I agree - analysis of skin shed by humpbacks can determine whether these fragments come from adults or calves, taking the first step towards closely setting their age. This completely undermines our previous arguement about why we kill them.
So here's a better one. Taste testing. Can you DNA sample for that ? I don't think so.
The only reliable test for tasting is the killing and the eating of the whale. Does a Minke taste like otter or peanut butter? Can a Humpback taste like chicken or tuna? How will we know unless we catch them, kill them, and eat them?
And you can't just have one. It's like Chicken McNuggets. Seriously. One whale on thousands of tiny toothpicks across all demographics to nibble and test? Be gone in seconds without our palates able to really lock down the fishy flavours they exude.
Be our guest Australia. Try and DNA up us some taste tests that don't involve us chasing them around the Southern Ocean, playing chicken with Greenpeace, killing the whales, then eating them on down.
If you can do that, then we give up. Seriously. I can't think of any other tests we'd want to do if you manage to solve that dilemma.
What's that? A blue whale? Mmmm, I'm thinking pork with a hint of kous kous. Now, where's my explosive harpoon?
(Japanese Whaling Commission)
See article DNA test harpoons excuse for whaling
Mission 98% accomplished
Faced with the liklihood a co-worker was coming in tomorrow with Bob the Builder loving kiddie in tow and thus traipsing through my study womb, I was spurred on to attack my assignment tonight.
I finished it about midnight. Took me around six hours or so.
It's pretty good, if I say so myself, but it still needs a bibliography which frankly is a pain in the butt. The good news for me this time is that I didn't actually quote wiki once. They sort of frown on it I think - treat it as low brow.
I got it two words under the limit, with this tutor fining 5% for every 100 words over the 3k marker. She includes footnotes in that which is a be-atch because traditionally for the verbose 'footies' was where you crammed your 'did you know?' and 'also, as an aside' and 'once I touched myself in my no no place' stuff-a-rooney.
But it's done. I got iron out the biblio at work on Monday - if I even choose to go in! I might not since the wife has a day off and I have spent the last several weekends at work anyway.
So hooray for me Captain Vegetable. That was my last assignment likely of my life. As in I don't intend to embark on another post-post-graduate tertiary adventure, not that I plan to go bat a lightbulb*
Good luck to you other study-e-os out there - Sarah now, and Mort soon to be. I just have one exam left and after that I plan to sit around and forget stuff I used to know. What's the capital of Sudan? No idea. I got wiki for that buddy.
Which reminds me. Has anyone done a pub quiz using a laptop or tablet with a WiFi connection and used Wiki to get their answers? I bet they have...
*Simpson's Joke.
I finished it about midnight. Took me around six hours or so.
It's pretty good, if I say so myself, but it still needs a bibliography which frankly is a pain in the butt. The good news for me this time is that I didn't actually quote wiki once. They sort of frown on it I think - treat it as low brow.
I got it two words under the limit, with this tutor fining 5% for every 100 words over the 3k marker. She includes footnotes in that which is a be-atch because traditionally for the verbose 'footies' was where you crammed your 'did you know?' and 'also, as an aside' and 'once I touched myself in my no no place' stuff-a-rooney.
But it's done. I got iron out the biblio at work on Monday - if I even choose to go in! I might not since the wife has a day off and I have spent the last several weekends at work anyway.
So hooray for me Captain Vegetable. That was my last assignment likely of my life. As in I don't intend to embark on another post-post-graduate tertiary adventure, not that I plan to go bat a lightbulb*
Good luck to you other study-e-os out there - Sarah now, and Mort soon to be. I just have one exam left and after that I plan to sit around and forget stuff I used to know. What's the capital of Sudan? No idea. I got wiki for that buddy.
Which reminds me. Has anyone done a pub quiz using a laptop or tablet with a WiFi connection and used Wiki to get their answers? I bet they have...
*Simpson's Joke.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
I once set fire to someone
True story. It was an accident. The victim was a friend of my brothers. I thought she was cute, but then anything with a vagina and breasts to me that was human (vaguelly) was cute to me back then.
Anyway, I was mucking around with a lighter, as you do, and thought it would be funny to spark lighter sparks onto her hair.
Her heavily chemically adulterated hair.
I of course did not put two and two together on that and kept flicking the dial to annoy her, even though as a kid on a school bus I had some fuckwit try and do the same to me.
So flicky, flicky I went, giggling at the idea of giving her some singed ends without her knowing.
Flicky, flicky ... whoosh.
A strand of her hair went up like a roman candle. I don't know to this day how close it was to a total flame up but instinctively I dropped the lighter and slapped my hands over the flame and extinguished it. She looked around, fortunately only having hair damaged and not skin, with this look of 'what just happened?' and playfully chased me round the yard. She did not have a clue how close she came to being little miss third degree burns in a ward where you have to wear a costume to visit.
I bet there's a thousand parrallel worlds out there where I fucked up and didn't extinguish it.
Fuck me, I'm glad I'm in this one. Imagine going down in history as they guy who set fire to someone?
Like that case in New Zealand where that guy in the grass skirt got set on fire. The dude who did it, meant as a joke that went horribly wrong, got two years for manslaughter.
See the article here
So whenever I see or hear of stories about jokes that went wrong, I often think back to that horrible split second where my future branched before me of successful dousing Vs courts and inquiries and horrible crippling shame of causing acute pain to someone else in a prank that went haywire.
Anyway, I was mucking around with a lighter, as you do, and thought it would be funny to spark lighter sparks onto her hair.
Her heavily chemically adulterated hair.
I of course did not put two and two together on that and kept flicking the dial to annoy her, even though as a kid on a school bus I had some fuckwit try and do the same to me.
So flicky, flicky I went, giggling at the idea of giving her some singed ends without her knowing.
Flicky, flicky ... whoosh.
A strand of her hair went up like a roman candle. I don't know to this day how close it was to a total flame up but instinctively I dropped the lighter and slapped my hands over the flame and extinguished it. She looked around, fortunately only having hair damaged and not skin, with this look of 'what just happened?' and playfully chased me round the yard. She did not have a clue how close she came to being little miss third degree burns in a ward where you have to wear a costume to visit.
I bet there's a thousand parrallel worlds out there where I fucked up and didn't extinguish it.
Fuck me, I'm glad I'm in this one. Imagine going down in history as they guy who set fire to someone?
Like that case in New Zealand where that guy in the grass skirt got set on fire. The dude who did it, meant as a joke that went horribly wrong, got two years for manslaughter.
See the article here
So whenever I see or hear of stories about jokes that went wrong, I often think back to that horrible split second where my future branched before me of successful dousing Vs courts and inquiries and horrible crippling shame of causing acute pain to someone else in a prank that went haywire.
BB 06 - trying not to get sucked in...
I vowed not to watch this season, not that I ever really watched it. But my wife just loves it.
She and her Sydney friend phone each other in the ad breaks to laugh about what was on.
She's on the phone now giving said friend an update from what she missed when she went away. Notes were taken!
But for me there's no seeming normal people in there. The closest they have to normal in build is Jade. Now I know in TV land despite 60% of real people being chunkers (not that Jade is, she's normal), the only time you see the fatties on the box is if they are going the jiggle for our viewing amusement, or those fucked up waist to chin fucking slow mo 'obesity epidemic' montages that TT, ACA et al run on a continual basis.
The lads all have those carrot builds of tapered tummies, six packs instead of slabs (like me), and seem to be uniformly of the pretty set. There's nary a Timmy (from last year) amongst them.
Timmo was a breath of fresh air because he was the sensitive snaggy type that actually had a sense of moral out rage and humour. The only thing I sense about the vast seething bulk of these fuckers is their vapid moleness.
I have no frame of reference with these people. They offer nothing to me. And that Dino prick is a misogynistic fat hating fucker that deserves to have a caber tossed deep into his rectum, highland games style.
But the one that freaks me out the most (of the pseudo watching I have done when passing in front of it), is the John guy. Why? Because he totally gives off a 'I'm an Android from AI' vibe.
Left: Jude Law from AI...
Left: John from BB...
You just know this bad boy is going to break into a soft sound of clicks and whirs and cock his head at 'Timmy's down the well, go get help' Lassie esq tilt modes at odd moments.
And none of them, none of them could be picked up by the spinal hair like many proud ozzer lads.
Sure seeing fatty types like me with hair through there is not great TV visual fare, especially around tea time. But it would be nice, just once, if a chubbo guy who stood out for his remarkable ordinary appearance and manner, whose a bit of a kak, and a bit interesting was in there.
Like this dude.
Trouble is he's already escaped one fetid dark hole with cameras clustered awaiting his every move, and he'd hardly want to swap it for another...
She and her Sydney friend phone each other in the ad breaks to laugh about what was on.
She's on the phone now giving said friend an update from what she missed when she went away. Notes were taken!
But for me there's no seeming normal people in there. The closest they have to normal in build is Jade. Now I know in TV land despite 60% of real people being chunkers (not that Jade is, she's normal), the only time you see the fatties on the box is if they are going the jiggle for our viewing amusement, or those fucked up waist to chin fucking slow mo 'obesity epidemic' montages that TT, ACA et al run on a continual basis.
The lads all have those carrot builds of tapered tummies, six packs instead of slabs (like me), and seem to be uniformly of the pretty set. There's nary a Timmy (from last year) amongst them.
Timmo was a breath of fresh air because he was the sensitive snaggy type that actually had a sense of moral out rage and humour. The only thing I sense about the vast seething bulk of these fuckers is their vapid moleness.
I have no frame of reference with these people. They offer nothing to me. And that Dino prick is a misogynistic fat hating fucker that deserves to have a caber tossed deep into his rectum, highland games style.
But the one that freaks me out the most (of the pseudo watching I have done when passing in front of it), is the John guy. Why? Because he totally gives off a 'I'm an Android from AI' vibe.
Left: Jude Law from AI... 
Left: John from BB... You just know this bad boy is going to break into a soft sound of clicks and whirs and cock his head at 'Timmy's down the well, go get help' Lassie esq tilt modes at odd moments.
And none of them, none of them could be picked up by the spinal hair like many proud ozzer lads.
Sure seeing fatty types like me with hair through there is not great TV visual fare, especially around tea time. But it would be nice, just once, if a chubbo guy who stood out for his remarkable ordinary appearance and manner, whose a bit of a kak, and a bit interesting was in there.
Like this dude.Trouble is he's already escaped one fetid dark hole with cameras clustered awaiting his every move, and he'd hardly want to swap it for another...
From Crikey - Tuesday 30 May - Chaney on the Aboriginal crisis: seven steps that could work
Fred Chaney – director of Reconciliation Australia, a deputy president of the National Native Title Tribunal and former Liberal Minister for Aboriginal Affairs between 1978 and 1980 – writes:
Assume civil order is restored wherever Aboriginal people reside and governments really want to address the underlying problems. What do we know about what works and what doesn't in remote communities?
Well, we know that episodic fly-in-fly-out bureaucratic interventions don't work. Much of the existing education system doesn't work. Welfare is corrosive, a discovery publicised by Ian Viner as Minister for Aboriginal Affairs as long ago as 1977. Expecting ill-educated and financially under resourced communities to provide all their own essential services hasn't worked. Nor has governments and their bureaucracies telling Aboriginals what to do.
On the other hand, giving people a say in their own affairs has provided some bright spots. Compare Pilbara and Ord developments in the 1960s, and more recent activity in those areas, and you see Aboriginal involvement in business development, education and employment. Compare the opening of the Argyle Diamond Mine in 1980 with now, when ADM has achieved 25% Aboriginal employment. Recognition of Aboriginal rights to land underlies these positive changes.
Employment does change things. The East Kimberley experience since ADM lifted employment is that locals are buying houses and capital goods when they get a job.
Some schools such as Kalkaringi (Wave Hill), Thursday Island, Karatha, Cherbourg, Clontarf, and Kununurra have shown that leadership, additional commitment by staff and students, and focused use of additional resources give Aboriginal kids a real chance at equal life opportunities.
Local control of resources helps. Centrally administered programs result in energy being wasted in serving the program rather than the program serving the community.
So what should we do?
Assume civil order is restored wherever Aboriginal people reside and governments really want to address the underlying problems. What do we know about what works and what doesn't in remote communities?
Well, we know that episodic fly-in-fly-out bureaucratic interventions don't work. Much of the existing education system doesn't work. Welfare is corrosive, a discovery publicised by Ian Viner as Minister for Aboriginal Affairs as long ago as 1977. Expecting ill-educated and financially under resourced communities to provide all their own essential services hasn't worked. Nor has governments and their bureaucracies telling Aboriginals what to do.On the other hand, giving people a say in their own affairs has provided some bright spots. Compare Pilbara and Ord developments in the 1960s, and more recent activity in those areas, and you see Aboriginal involvement in business development, education and employment. Compare the opening of the Argyle Diamond Mine in 1980 with now, when ADM has achieved 25% Aboriginal employment. Recognition of Aboriginal rights to land underlies these positive changes.
Employment does change things. The East Kimberley experience since ADM lifted employment is that locals are buying houses and capital goods when they get a job.
Some schools such as Kalkaringi (Wave Hill), Thursday Island, Karatha, Cherbourg, Clontarf, and Kununurra have shown that leadership, additional commitment by staff and students, and focused use of additional resources give Aboriginal kids a real chance at equal life opportunities.
Local control of resources helps. Centrally administered programs result in energy being wasted in serving the program rather than the program serving the community.
So what should we do?
- In remote areas it is essential to restore civil order. Recent police presences in a number of remote communities has proved positive.
- Governments should take full responsibility for essential services. Obviously use local labour as much as possible (through real jobs), but maintain government responsibility.
- Find out what the locals want to achieve and get behind any positive local initiative.
- Have trained, accountable people on site.
- Be aware of shifting problems. Balgo is probably better now because the drinkers are in Halls Creek. Stop them drinking in Halls Creek and watch out Kununurra and Fitzroy Crossing.
- Provide safe, supervised camping facilities in the towns around the desert as people will be visiting from the desert for many years.
- Enforce school attendance and bring the generality of schools up to best practice. This is the only way to ensure Aboriginal people have a long term future where they have purposeful lives and equal opportunities to participate in what Australia offers most of its people
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