Saturday, December 09, 2006

Life Support Friends – an uncomfortable encounter for HM

Whilst shopping I accidentally ended up in a café next to a LSF from five years back who after I said I couldn’t make a ‘BYO computer for interlinked gaming’ day never called me again. That was five years ago.

Life Support Friends are those associations you get in life that never really quite work and kind of hang on for longer than they should before dying. Your lives go off on tangents, the friendships kind of bump along then either BANG – explode away - or die off with a whimper. I have been the person who cut ties, and I’ve had ties cut. It’s just a thing in life that happens and it’s never comfortable. Sometimes if you’re lucky you can come back from a BANG - which is cool – esp if you really liked the person. Other times if you see them or they see you, you kind of do this faux mutual lack of recognition and go the other way.

I hadn’t seen this guy since his wife was pregnant with their first child. There in the café he had what appeared to be a five year old boy with him. So I assumed that was said kid. He was about 20cm from me at the next table. Incredibly he hadn’t noticed me. I mouthed his name to TheWife – whose haircut went from curly to straight today and she looks completely different – but she didn’t understand. She suggested I text it on to my mobile and show her which I did.

When she realised who it was I asked if we could leave and she agreed. So we got up, paid for my single can of drink, and got out without being rumbled.

I could have talked with him. I could have potentially restarted the friendship. But it was a complicated relationship where I felt kind of like a lesser human being and my life is already rich with excellent friendships where I feel valued when I hang out with said friends. So I am glad I left without recontact.

Still it was a freaky, freaky moment.

Then later in Big W I met a dude from my course whose name I didn't know and when I introduced him to TheWife I said 'this is a friend from my course' and he still didn't say his name. He introduced his wife as 'my wife' with no name supplied. I got so flustered that after the small talk I left the queue we were both in and faked a 'I have to show you this honey' with TheWife, and wandered around for 10 minutes before returning and re-queuing once he'd gone.

I felt like a complete twat. I should have just said 'I am sorry I have forgotten your name'. Plus I think I insulted his country.

... tumbleweed ...

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:06 PM

    I often get this too. It comes down to context again (see previous comments). Remembering a name can be just as difficult as remembering the face. I have recently started using the "this is umm...damn...mental block. What's your name?" ruse when introducing people whose name I can't remember.

    Try it next time.

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  2. Nice call!

    BTW the LSF was Maddison Waller...

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  3. Never heard the term "life support friend" before... :|

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