Anti Women’s Day Ribbon Campaign Falters

November 24, 2006

Melbourne; The Australian Misogynists Association, ‘You burnt me fuckin’ tea bitch’, today expressed disappointment of the lack of take up of black ribbons on offer as a counter to the White Ribbon Day of 25 November which is the United Nationals International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

‘What about when she don’t take me dick in her mouth?’ complained Erwin Ghent, a short skinny man with a food stained brown velvet jumper. ‘Surely I is allowed to give her a couple of taps eh?’

Ghent, who has not had a relationship in the last ten years said that it was time women knew their place, not bedecking themselves in white ribbons as if they didn’t fucking deserve it.

‘Where am I going?’ thundered Dirk Hadrog from beyond his bandana mouth mask, a barrel chested man with a thick Santa Clause like beard stretching over his ample stomach. ‘None of your fuckin’ business ya mol.’

The Association’s Black Ribbons, Black to represent the Shiner the Bitch got for talkin’ back, remained largely untaken up by passing commuters where the ‘You burnt me fuckin’ tea bitch’ campaign had set up their stall on the steps at Melbourne central station. However it did attract some criticism from passing female office workers.

‘What the fuck?’ said Esmeralda Phillips, a 23 year old communication professional. ‘Are they serious? I mean look how they presented themselves. The skinny bloke look like he got shat out by the fat bloke. They’re both poorly dressed and their bandanas covering their faces are graced with traces of snot and spitting tobacco. Furthermore their manifesto stapled to their crude over-pass style bedsheet banner has numerous typos such as ‘Wimmen’ and missing the all important C in the word ‘Fuck’. Which is ironic given they are clearly a pair of fuckwads.’

Hadrog and Ghent copped considerable abuse from passing workers – ranging from pointed avoidance of proffered ribbons to outright telling the duo that they were ‘cretins’, ‘gits’, or ‘a twin set of classic examples of the distilled essence of the worst aspects of Australian ockerism.’

Hadrog and Ghent said they were inspired to offer ribbons by their membership of the Blackshirts anti women movement, whose hatred of the concept of ‘your seed, your breed, you pay’ that is part of modern progressive cultures has led blackshirts to stand outside the houses of member’s ex partners with abusive posters and make threatening announcements via megaphones.

‘Dem blackshirts know about them bitches,’ said Hadrog, winking and tapping his nose. ‘They know the three holes is just there to make babies and not wear shoes and cook me fuckin’ tea without fuckin’ burnin’ it.’

Hadrog and Ghent then high fived each other but quickly took flight the moment the local chapter of ‘Dykes on bikes’ arrived on the scene to have words in regards to the Association’s viewpoints and offer a countervailing argument involving the insertion of 100 white ribbons in somewhere unpleasant.

-- AAP