Friday, March 24, 2006

'What are ya, a bunch of c***s?' Ad campaign encounters controversy

The latest ad by Tourism Australia has encountered controversy after the tag line 'what are ya, a bunch of c***s' was deemed offensive by some advertising regulators.

The ad, featuring a now older Lara Bingle in prison having tried to smuggle in 2kgs of cocaine internally into the country, has the model speaking the tag line whilst waving a shiv made from a sharpened toothbrush handle at other inmates.

'I can't see what the fuss is about,' said relevant low grade tourism minister Fran Baily, who has spent the past several months trotting the globe with the shiv wielding Bingle in tow pleading with regulators to accept the salty sailor talk tinged advertisments.

Left: Lara Bingle ... has shiv

'We're proud of our country and our convict heritage,' said Ms Baily. 'So naturally we felt that showing Lara [Bingle] in a modern convict setting heightened the desire of those who'd yet to tread our sun dappled shores to visit here. And even if they do happen to pack a couple of keys of [a] class A [drug], they'll see that the jails here are clean and packed with attractive lesbians, unlike other jails which feature bull dykes and ugos.'

Several ad regulators have banned the ad not only do to the implied violence as Ms Bingle attempts to defend her vaginal honour with sharpened dental hygiene implements, but they include the word 'c***' which most cultures find offensive.

'Frankly what are they complaining about?' said Ms Baily, preparing to transport Ms Bingle, Hannibal Lecter style after the model's method acting had caused her to absorb her role a little too heavily.

'Here in Australia it's a term of endearment. I mean a cabinet meeting doesn't pass without someone calling someone else a c***. Like 'I need more money for the federation rail project ya c***', or 'Defence spending needs to increase in real terms by 3% a year due to block obsolescence issues C***y', and stuff like that. Besides, it's not like we all don't come out of a c***. I mean, it's the first thing you see!'

Ms Baily admitted that she would be conducting a hard sell strategy, with the young Miss Bingle released from her straps and armed with her trusty tooth cleaning friend prior to any encounter with a regulator.

'And ladies, if you happen to dance the furry cup fandango, let's just say Lara's time spent immersed in her role as a banged up mule has not gone to waste.'

Ms Baily ended the interview by splitting her fingers over her lips, tilting her head and flicking her tongue in and out like a blue tongue lizard - one of the many exciting animals you can encounter in our fair brown c*** tinged land.


  1. At least this ought to work better in the US than the other ad scheme will. We know what "cunts" are, whereas "where the bloody hell are ya" sounds like something "one of them fellas in the Harry Potter movies" might say.

  2. Indeed. And if that little lightning bolt faced twat shows his head around here he'll get a boot right up his.


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