Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Twatwatch - 5 October 2005

Australian Princess with Jackie F_cking O

It's on in my house as I type, it's aural cancer spreading its tentacles towards my brain. I feel myself getting stuppidiier ath e tpye.

Plus I think our old pal $4.95 a minute voice over woman from Channel 10 is doing the narration. Must make a nice change from spruiking other shows whilst pleasuring herself.

Jesus wept it's awful. Time to separate myself from its badness and go scrub myself clean with a wire brush.

Oh - here's the Sunday Tele article that promoted it.

Jackie O's royal quest
From: The Sunday Telegraph

A touch of glamour ... Jackie O's new show has royal connections.
BREAKFAST radio queen Jackie O yesterday won a new throne when she was named host of television show, Australian Princess.

"There's a princess phenomenon going on at the moment," said the glamorous 2Day FM host.
She will work with Princess Diana's butler, Paul Burrell, and the Duchess of York's Sydney-based sister, Jane Ferguson, on the Network Ten reality series.

More than 3000 young women applied to compete on Australian Princess, which promises to transform 12 ordinary women into modern-day princesses. And it was Mary Donaldson's real life fairytale transformation from Sydney realtor to the Crown Princess of Denmark which inspired the series.

"Because she was just your everyday Australian girl, there are so many women who look at her and think, 'Wow that could actually be me'," Ms O said. "We all dream of being the girl who is plucked from obscurity and given this wonderful, glamorous life."

With its obvious appeal to teenagers and young women, the show is expected to boost ratings for Network Ten and be picked up overseas.

The only obvious appeal this has for me is my jamming my fingers down my throat to be noisly sick.

Frankly all the princesses from fairy tales were sad and pathetic. Rupunzel could have cut her hair, fashioned a rope, and made it out herself. The Princess with the pea problem was clearly a haemophiliac. Sleeping Beauty was a lazy mol that slept around all day and never did a lick of housework. Cinderella? Is she a princess? Well I guess she married up so could be - but did she ever seek union assistance for her miserable working conditions - no she did not. If she cannot be bothered to organise and ensure equitable treatment for fellow domestic servitors then I would so not be interested. Indeed if I was the shoe bearer testing feet around the kingdom I would have zonked her with the slipper in her head, heel first, just for her stupidity.

So - to you girls out there. Have you ever been bitten by the princess bug? Was this a desperate fantasy of yours? Tell Uncle Harrangueman.

BTW - any paparazzi out there - Jackie O will be in the Harbour Tunnel around 3pm next Saturday. Just if you're interested of course. I believe white fiats can be had for $77 inc GST on a daily rental.


  1. Jesus christ, I stumbled across the beginning of this show last night while waiting for the Glasshouse to come on... what can you say (apart from pass me the wire brush)?

    'Jackie O' is ubiquitous enough as it is, without channel 10 providing her with yet another platform for publicity. I'm glad to see I haven't been alone in detesting her all these years.

    From what I saw of the show it is despicably sexist in what it promotes as a 'proper' woman's real place in society, but it's such a piece of crap that it's not even worth my time being outraged about it.

    The only time I'll watch anything to do with that twat Paul Burrell is when he's being sent up on Dead Ringers.

    I predict this show will be a runaway success for channel 10...

  2. Ah Dead Ringers goodness eases the pain.

    Jackie O stands for everything thats wrong with commercial TV. So much for the free market taking care of things. If it were not for the ABC and SBS Oz would be a wilderness of quality programming.

    That may sound snooty - but it's f_cking accurate. But the odd thing comes out of commercial land that is passable I suppose.

    Crash Burn on 10 rocked - but that was the ABC import (whose name I forget) pulling the strings.

    Any other commercial Oz product out there worth it? I'm struggling to think.

  3. Comedy Inc. has its moments... I think it's on channel 9?

  4. I saw a bit of that show too - for me it was the tail end. Talk about gag-worthy. And Sarah is right about its sexism too, though I have to admit I didn't think of it that way till now. I thought of it more as, well, completely insipid.

    Can we get them on false advertising? After all, it's not like the winner is actually going to get to marry a prince, is she?!

  5. Comedy Inc is kewl. And unusually Chanel 9 are sticking with it instead of cancelling it after two episodes (like Shaun Micalef and Mick Molloy)

    RE Princess. Apparently the winner gets to dance with a prince - and win the 100k prize pack.

    Want to know more? They have a website.

    Shudder me timbers.

    click here if you dare - warning pink

  6. Sorry - for some reason I cocked the link up. I will try again

    how about now?


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