Monday, September 19, 2005

Twatwatch - 19 September 2005


Peter and Jordan Andre, recently maritaled C grade celebrities








His waistcoat was a sea of crystals, as was her dress. She arrived in a Kath and Kim pumpkin coach. They got married in a castle. And that's not all. Sky News noted that 'guests were also treated to a duet from the happy couple - who danced to a recording of themselves singing the ballad A Whole New World, from the movie Aladdin.'

Shudder.


These dickheads were out of the limelight and willingly crawled back in the show 'I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here'. Their agents then seem to have gotten to talking and decided a career resurgance from a marriage of two once-were-semi-famous people equally obsessed with the dimensions of their upper chests was in order.

Guys, you will never, ever have privacy again. You bought this on yourselves. I pity you. I also pity the poor Phillippine orderly that will have to soap a wrinkly Jordan's still perpendicular breasts in fifty years in whatever geriatric home she ended up in.

Knowing her if she did end up in such an institution it's probably because she's in a new show called 'I'm an incredibly aged celebrity with an obvious surgical error - please euthanize me'.

Here's hoping on the last part.

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