If I was President on my inauguration day ... (cue wavy dream lines)

Left: An idealized Harrangueman taking the oath of office (note - the guy on the photo's left, not the fat balding, spectacled guy with the dress and specially designed gold rings on the sleeve on the right)

(Chief Justice holds out the bible)

Chief Justice: Please, repeat after me. I, Harrangueman, do solemnly swear

Harrangueman: Rub a dub ...

Chief Justice (confused): er that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States,

Harrangueman: ... dub ...

Chief Justice (still confused): um ...and that I will, to the best of my ability,

Harrangueman: ... thanks ....

Chief Justice (utterly confused): ... ah .. er ... preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States?

Harrangueman: ... for .. the ... grub

Then I'd do one of those touchdown dance things.

... like this guy...