Thursday, September 08, 2005

Asta La Vista Girly Men Who Want to Marry

Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger will veto a bill seeking to allow gay marriages in California.

‘It is about time the girly men, with their weak muscles, and even weaker anuses, realise that the sanctity of marriage, and monogamy is just for us heterosexuals,’ said Schwarzenegger Tuesday.

The actor made famous for his work as an emotionless killing machine in almost every movie he’s starred in said the legislation, given final approval by lawmakers on Tuesday, would conflict with the intent of voters when they approved Proposition 22.

Left: The governor announces veto of bill allowing gay marriage.

‘Twenty two, not for you bum hole lovers. That measure prevented you from being recognised legally for your fruity anal type pleasuring behaviour,’ said the governor.

Despite his promise to veto the bill, Schwarzenegger believes ‘girly men and muscley girls are entitled to put whatever they like in whatever hole, and they should not be discriminated against based upon their choice of holes’.

‘The bum hole is open for business for any girly man. You just don’t get permit saying your bum holing is legitimised as being the same as a man and a wuh’man.’

The statement also noted that Schwarzenegger ‘is proud that California provides the most rigorous protections in the nation for domestic partners, not matter which hole you putt in.’

The Republican Governor had indicated in previous statements that he would veto the bill, saying ‘those who hate the bummers want the laws – what can I do about it? Nuthing, that’s what. I think you should be able to hole what you want okay.’

Left: Unacceptable under proposition 22.

A state appeals court is weighing an appeal of a San Francisco judge's ruling striking down state laws barring gay marriages.

Meanwhile, opponents of same-sex marriages are trying to place measures on the ballot next year that would place a ban on any partnership not involving a male or female in the state constitution.

‘Yes, celebrity pet weddings, as long as they involve a male and a female, can still continue,’ said Concerned Families Association president Julian Von Hatelots.

Left: Acceptable under proposition 22.

'And how cute is it when the little puppy has a little tuxedo and the other puppy has a teeny little veil and flowers? But if you’re not a male and a female in that union, then forget it. Man on man, woman on woman then no marriage for you. Even if you are a human being in a long term committed relationship seeking equal benefits enjoyed by similar heterosexual couples.’

‘After-all, there’s only six billion of us,’ added Mr Von Hatelots. ‘Marriage is required for the survival of the human race.’

See below for the link to the actual SMH article on this story.


  1. "The Republican Governor had indicated in previous statements that he would veto the bill, saying the debate over same-sex marriage should be decided by voters or the courts."

    Because, you know, that means he has no responsibility at all. Good for him!


  2. i wouldn't wanna encourage marriage in the gay community

    what if that leads to less promiscurity in the male gay community

    god gay men are the only people who buy me drinks even if i introduce my girlfriend

    plus i'm advising all my sons to be gay much better financial desicion

    even with equal oppurtunity men still earn more on average ching ching more $$$$

    no chance o0f children (by accident anyway) ching ching more $$$$


    theres more points to this but you can see where i'm goin
    not to mention that you can hook up with some one who's a guy and can fuck whether they're in the mood or not

    YO NIGGAZ (peace out yall)

  3. That's right. The voters have spoken.

    Arnie should grow a damn pair. Oh wait, thanks to years of steroid abuse, they've like shot up into his intenstines or something.

    Notallright you have managed to find a silver lining in otherwise homophobic dark cloud :)

  4. Stuff guys fucking guys, when guys can't stuff ducks!

  5. I am reminded of the ACT referendum that asked if we wanted self-government. The answer: a resounding 'no'. The response: here's self-government, suck it up.

    Hardly a surprise Arnie would oppose the measure, given he's a Republican. I expect governor of California isn't the end of his political aspirations and alienating a significant part of his vote base would be one of those "career self-limiting" acts.

    Still: our leaders should do the right thing, regardless of the polls. Arnie isn't my governor, but this whole 'sanctity of marriage' argument bugs me.

    Marriage is not a guy who lives down the block from me, he doesn't need his front lawn protected. Gay marriage wouldn't threaten my parents' marriage or my own. Financial protections for married gays wouldn't do harm to anyone. Denying them access to such protections is unfair.

  6. that picture of arnie in his prime makes me wanna be a girly man!!!

    that big chest tight abs big arms

    and dont forget that with all those steroids he's not gonna tear your arse in half if it;s your first time


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