In the world of cyberspace it's hard to know how people determine such things but I guess the fact that I volunteered that I was overweight, and I have somewhere lurking here a photo of me in the reverse, cape not with standing, that confirms this fact.
He's not the first person to point this out to me of course. Young men in cars, typically with P plates, like to sometimes yell it at me as they burn past in their vehicle. Not that I'm given a right of redress or anything. But what would I say? I can hardly say I'm not fat (though the irony that I'm walking and they're in a vehicle does not escape me). I suppose I can address the c_nt issue, but how does one prove they are not in fact a c_nt.
I lack all things clitorial of course. And I have limbs, where a c_nt would have some sort of fleshy vulvic flaps. Oh, and the first time someone punched me in the face I didn't have blood shoot out, and nor did my relatives grab my clothes and show the neighbours that I was a good boy and saved myself for that legitimate whack to the head.
So I'm guessing the c_nt reference was in fact a metaphoric reference. Let's see what dictionary.com has to say about it?
c_nt () Pronunciation Key (knt)
n. Vulgar Slang
- The female genital organs.
- Sexual intercourse with a woman.
- Offensive. Used as a disparaging term for a woman.
- Used as a disparaging term for a person one dislikes or finds extremely disagreeable.
The second one we can rule out since in cyberspace, and on the verge both, I am not in fact engaged in sexual relations when so referenced (least, not that I can tell, there once was a time in the drain at the scout hall but I'm sure no one called me that then). Also, I don't think I've ever heard point 2 being used to describe sexual intercouse. 'Let's c_nt!', 'I'm going to c_nt your brains out,' 'I can't wait to slide myself into you and commence c_nting.' Does not make sense. Maybe it's one of those 'the kids' things.
Point 3a, I'm not a woman. If I was then it would be a serious worry for the human race, what with my ownership of a penis, lack of breasts and womb, have have you.
So that leaves points 3b. A disparaging term for someone they dislike or find extremely disagreeable.
Oh dear. Well, I can't determine who likes me or not (I try, I like to think of myself as someone who carries themselves well in social interaction). I guess those boys in their car I've never seen roaring past have somehow agreed in those short seconds that I must be somewhat disagreeable and, combined with my hefty build, I am therefore a fat c_nt.
As for my cyber visitor that felt the need to link the terms fat and c_nt together I must have done something extremely disagreeable to them. Perhaps I made fun of them in front of others on another blog? Perhaps I made them feel bad when I questioned their inability to articulate a point of view, or peeled back the vinyl on a poorly conceived argument.
Who knows, because they elected to be anonymous. I guess that's one for the ages.
But, as far as the young men in their speeding machine who have met me for all of two seconds, and my gentle cyber guest, I suppose I must indeed be a fat c_nt to them, since it is their opinion as to whether I am extremely disagreeable.
Gentlemen, I salute you (snaps off snappy salute).
The only reason I allowed anonymous comments was so a friend of mine who was not a blog owner could comment if she so chose. But I do dislike people hiding behind anonymous comments. It cheapens the spirit of discorse. So I am now going to remove that capacity.
Thanks anonymous for ruining it for everyone. You sir are a champion. I bet your mother is very proud of you.
(Note: Originally this was titled He's right, I really am a fat c_nt. Then I realised that I don't consider myself a c_nt so the title is not that accurate. This is much better don't you think?)