Saturday, January 21, 2017

Still here! Football code needs modification

Well Donald Trump hasn't killed us all—yet. The dark part of me wondered if Russia would attempt a decapitating first strike. 

So DJT owns the football with the button in it; which of course is actually a case and actually a card with an alphanumeric code for DJT to use to authorise nuclear weapon release. 

I hope they made the card terribly small so his tiny hands would take a while to grasp—to give him time to reconsider as his dreadfully small digits attempt to hold it—and that the code they selected includes whole phrases like "are-you-sure?" and "money-will-no-longer-work". 

I think the last one would be the one to rely on. Tell him nuclear weapons used (equals) no more money because what value does small bits of plastic paper when civilisation collapses?

As for the environment they should point out that his hotels are at ground level near the sea and guess what's going to happen to them when climate-change-charged storms combined with gradual sea rise hit. 

That's how to handle DJT; cast everything in terms of how it will impact him personally.

He has no frame of reference beyond his life of astonishing privilege; threaten that and maybe he'll listen.

Probs save us all. 

Thursday, January 19, 2017

President Trump will be focused on the needs of President Trump

Politico had a chat with writers who've written of Trump; about how they saw Trump's handling of the transition and what it said about how he will act in office.

Their view is not good; he's been a bully all his life and will continue to act that way.

We've lost someone that soothed for someone that bristles; a man with the full power of a state to advance his whims and a man whose career is not only defined by defying acceptable norms but reveling in it.

Probs save us all.

Eep—nature says do not touch

With thanks to Gary Larson.

I got pitched a job at a place whose initialism I did not recognise.

A blanch of horror shot through me after I googled for what it stood for and I quickly signaled disinterest; we'd have been an antithetical fit.

Still, how lucky am I to start a year with a fresh horizon. I haven't had that since high school.


Monday, January 16, 2017

It's a cascade of scary

DJT is t-minus four days and counting from the presidency and it's a cascade of scary. 

As the Washington Post has pointed out the presidency of Trump will be like none other; where truth is not truth and where the power of the office will be turned on the fourth estate.

This is deep scary stuff. The US was a continuum of steady as she goes for the world order and it's like the captain turned up drunk to spin the wheel just to see the fuck what happens. 

I read a book recently about the awesome power of the office to do good; the book recounting the deeds done by presidents past that lifted others. But also deeds that damaged. For all the good he did, and there was some governance good, Nixon was treis evil. 

At least Nixon knew government.

Trump is balls deep scary. He has no knowledge of actual government and has lived a life of nasty plenty. He does not care about reality; he cares about Trumpality. 

And he's about to foist Trumpality on the world; the fucking world. 

We loved Obama, we loved his taking executive action (because he had to). But he's handing over that power and those developed protocols to a man, in his words, that is uniquely unsuited for the office; an office that can inflict insta-death on civilisation.

I read too that even Russia got worried during the campaign when Trump slagged off the family of deceased soldiers; thinking for the US people that was just too far. It may have even been too far for them.

It wasn't; he went further. He'll go further still. 

He did not throw the presidential playbook out the window; he just didn't need that playbook. He had profile of looking presidential to morons and he used that to the max. He did it on the cheap too. He got the office like no other person could have done. There is but one DJT.

And now he's going to be #45. 

Probs save us all. I bet those scientists with the doomsday clock are going to move that second needle a lot closer to 12...

Sunday, January 15, 2017


Last night my laptop went weird. It started opening up search windows and it froze in an unusual display. Unable to do anything and fearing malevolent forces I yanked the power—for the laptop's battery never worked and it has to work off the mains.

I sat before it just now, ready to see what the fuck it was that it was when I noticed that the sack containing the Christmas tree was mashed up against the detachable keyboard that was still plugged in. 

Yeah ... the fail was due to "mass button press and hold" by a rogue packed Christmas tree—not malevolent forces.

Unless, that is, the Christmas tree has been recruited and is a Manchurian Christmas tree—like DTJ as soon-to-be comrade head of the executive.  

I'll surveill to see if it does any other weird shit in the shed like meeting with Easter dissidents.

Saturday, January 14, 2017

The Xmas reveal

Every Christmas statements of worth from 2013 and 2014 re-appear above the laptop from where the Christmas decorations are stored. With the boxes gone I can see what I wrote about me from years before on the inside of the shelving unit.

It's pretty powerful stuff. 

They're reminders from past-me to now-me to never, ever feel shit about myself again. I can still feel shitty; just not about me.

Thanks, past-me, for looking out for now-me and I'll see you next Christmas.


Thursday, January 12, 2017

Loss keenly felt

Not only was Obama an awesome technocrat who gave a shit about people not himself or family he could carry a tune.

I hate that he is forced into a role as opposition leader. He should have been able to just fuck off into the sunset leaving a fellow technocrat in charge.

Instead we have Donald Trump. 

I watched an interview with a reporter who was at the white house when the election result was known; he said it like it was death had settled over them. 

And it was Obama who buoyed them, cheered them and reminded them the fight is never done. 

The world was lucky; it had eight years of plenty.

Now let the hunger begin...

Three nice moments noticed and lived in

It's easy to dwell on shitty crap. One way to break out of it is to notice nice moments when they happen then live in those moments.

So here are three.

As I waited for the bus I watched a pair of galahs in a tree.

I caught a bendy-bus to the shops—and I was the only passenger.

After an exhausting pain-wracked walk home I had a shower then hopped in the blow up pool. I sat for 10 minutes with my eyes closed and just blissed out.

Moments grabbed, lived and loved for the win.

Why does he still have intro music?

I started watching the first 2017 Donald Trump press conference and when it came to Trump's turn to appear his intro music started up ... and kept going, cutting over his actual speaking after he got to the podium.

My immediate thought was "why does he have intro music?". Intro music on the campaign is part of that scene, but he's the president elect ... and he still has intro music. 

What kind of fuckstick has intro music when they're the actual next leader of the (free) world?

Then I realised I'd answered my own question.

UPDATE: If Obama had acted and spoke the way Trump had at his first President-Elect presser the outrage from the right would have been deafening—not answering the questions, riffing on how great he is and referring to himself in the third person. What an incredible display of double standards. 

But when you think might or fright makes right then you come up with recessive results like Trump.  

Probs wept. 

UPDATE2: All power to CNN's Jim Acosta who called Trump on his shit and said Trump's response was inappropriate. 

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

First shart of the year

... I'd like to thank the Academy...

UPDATE: My abdomen just mewed like a kitten. That's a surreal experience.